It's hard to believe that this is happening. He's known for a while that with each decision he makes, certain repercussions come with it. But he never dreamed that it would come to this.
He put in his twenty a while ago. In fact, it's to the point where some days, he can't remember how many years he's stuck with the department. But now that he's being forced to think about it, he can remember it all. Those first awkward days on a beat…being bounced between squads as a detective. Taking over one squad as a sergeant, only to be picked up as a lieutenant a few years later, and sent to another squad.
It's hard to think about those early days as the captain of the Major Case Squad. Part of him wants to forget it all, so that in two weeks' time, it won't be so hard to walk away. But part of him wants to hold onto it for as long as he can. He knows that on that last day, when he leaves, he won't be coming back. As determined as his detectives are to clear his name, he knows that it will more than likely only result in trouble for them. So he tells them to leave alone, and he hopes that they will.
They leave his office, both of them looking mildly stunned by this request, and they close the door behind them. He turns on the spot, and looks around the office that he'll soon be leaving for good, and he wonders for a long moment if he's making the right decision. Most of his life has been tied up in this department and the past five years in this squad. It hurts to think about letting it all go, but he'd rather do that than put his squad through the hell that seems to have defined him for the past couple of weeks.
The dress uniforms have hung in that same place for the past five years, through fights with the brass and IAD over things that Detective Goren has done, through the battle that brought Detective Logan back from Staten Island. They've been there since he took over, and found himself staring at Detective Eames, back then the only lady in the squad, and they were there when Detective Barek showed up to complete the squad's second partnership. They've meant everything to him for all these years, but once he walks away, they will mean nothing.
He wonders again as he continues to look at them if he's made the right decision. But even as he thinks about it, he realizes that he has, even if at the moment, he doubts it. Either way, it's too late to turn back: his resignation is already in. He's got two weeks left.
And as he says to Logan and Barek a few days later: he's got two weeks left on this job. And now he's going to have some fun.