Variations on a Theme
From the scene in The Unicorn and the Wasp. Imagine the Doctor's travels had gone a little differently, and how the reactions would vary to the following phrase.
A/N: Each scene is unrelated to the others.
The Doctor danced around, his eyes huge, his body covered in sweat, foodstuffs, and Ginger beer. "I need a shock!" he bellowed. "A shock!!"
"Right," said his companion. "A shock." ...
...Astrid was bewildered. How did one go about shocking the Doctor, anyway? It came to her suddenly, and she grinned happily, hauled off, and slapped the hell out of him.
...Martha nodded. She drew her hand back, balled it into a fist, and brought it forward, hard as she could, a strong right hook to the Doctor's jaw.
As she shook her aching hand, she muttered, "God, I've wanted to do that!"
...Agatha frowned. "My husband," she said, angrily. "I didn't catch him in bed with a younger woman. He was in bed with some strange man called Captain Jack Harkness."
...Everyone stared at everyone else, desperate to know how you could possibly shock a man who had just poured ginger beer into his own hair. Miss Chandrakala reached over, snatched the back of the Doctor's boxers, and tugged.
...Lucy Saxon giggled and burst into a very off-key rendering of the Barney Theme Song. Nothing seemed to be happening, until her giddy husband joined in.
...Adam snapped his fingers and the computer link folded open. "See, I found a use for the door in my head." He made a face that looked a bit like concentrating. The TARDIS appeared behind them. "She likes me, now."
...Mickey waggled his eyebrows. "I just want you to know," he said, in a voice that was remarkably reminiscent of Captain Jack, "that it's you I'm following, not Rose." He walked his fingers slowly up the Doctor's chest. "If you get my drift."
...Reinette gave him a devilish, wicked smile. "Louis is a much better dancer than you, my Lord." Her hands described with vague, careful gestures exactly what sort of dancing she meant. "Actually, so is Mickey."
...Sarah Jane sighed. "The man I said I couldn't get over, the one who was impossible to follow?"
"Yeah?" the Doctor gasped.
"It wasn't you."
The Doctor gaped at her, utterly uncomprehending.
"It was Alistair."
...Jackie shrugged. "I cheated on Pete with a bloke with huge hair and a forty foot long scarf," she admitted. "He's Rose's real father."
...Susan rolled her eyes. "I found out where human babies come from. On my wedding night. Thanks a lot."
...Jenny smirked. "Aunt Donna says if you ask her very nicely, I can have a little brother."
"Why you cheeky brat!" Donna shrieked.
...The Master leaned close and whispered, softly, in his ear, "I've always loved you, Thete."
...Pete held up a small, miraculous silver object. "That Martha girl suggested that I might want to ask you about this fob watch I have. It's broken, you see, but she seemed to think, you being a Time Lord, you might could do something about it."
"Where'd you get it?" the Doctor wheezed, twitching.
"Had it since Rose was born. It's not as elaborate as the one I got for her."
...Jack grinned. Leaning forward, he kissed the Doctor, firmly, on the lips.
"That's not a shock!" the Doctor yelped. "That's just you!"
"Fine," said Jack. "I wanted to save this, but oh, well." He reached in his pocket, pulled out a small black box, and knelt at the Doctor's feet.
...Rose Tyler folded her arms across her chest. It should never come down to something like this, but she supposed they'd been dancing around the subject long enough, anyway. She snagged the Doctor's tie, dragged him forward, and shoved her hand down the front of his trousers.
...The Doctor's body went rigid. He threw his head back and a great cloud of strange, silvery black smoke rushed into the air. Then he shook and shivered all over, before letting out a sharp exclamation of triumph.