(A/N: OK, so before you start reading, I'd like to point out this is the first story I've ever written, so I'm not sure I know what I'm doing. I'd like people to leave constructive criticism for me to improve upon my flaws. The songs I'm listening to while writing this are Avenged Sevenfold - Angels, the album Damnation by Opeth, an instrumental version of Ful Stop by Radiohead, and finally It All Starts From Pieces by Distant Dream. If you're going to listen to music while reading this, I strongly suggest those.)
text = memory or dream
'text' = character thinking
"text" = character speaking in a memory or a dream
"text" = character speaking
(text) = Author's comment
_ = time skip
"Don't you wonder sometimes ? Where we're all going ? Because when you're alone, without a goal, without anything, it makes you wonder, if you're just running in circles, waiting for it all to fade away."
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
'Fucking finally, I thought today would never end…' I slowly sighed.
Making my way back from my 10 hours long day at the local engineering school, I crossed the street, with "Angels" by Avenged Sevenfold playing in my headphones.
Today was uneventful, as usual; I woke up in the morning, got dressed, brushed my teeth, and went out.
I studied alone, ate alone, and left alone.
For some people, it may sound sad, or depressing, but it was a routine I was used to, and fine with.
I found peace in solitude; it made me focus on the calm inside, blocking out the sounds of people talking, cars moving, and the general sound pollution of the city.
I was always a person with sensitive ears, as far as I can remember.
It reminded me of how unusual I was; I preferred being alone, I always thought in a different way than other people… It's almost like I wasn't meant to be here, living and breathing in this world.
I had thought about that at one point, but I realized than there is simply no "meaning".
We were born into this world, that's the absolute truth; but there is no reason for it.
People live, people die. A happy couple strolls down the street, unaware of the man being robbed and killed in a nearby alley.
People are bound to their view of the world, of what they think is real, unaware of what really is.
A platoon of American soldiers celebrate their victory against a group of terrorists, who were doing what they think was right; defeating their enemy, for the so-called "God".
In the end, it's all the same; people are blinded by illusions they know as "reality", where their subjectivity turn into objectivity in their minds; just like an insane person would kill their loved ones thinking "I am protecting them".
And even when you realize that, you still are limited by your mind, anchored to this Earth as you play into the imaginary hands of Fate.
Indeed, even I gave up on finding something more that we all know as reality.
With a void for a soul and the powerlessness of a human, all I could do is regress to normality, living life as Time slowly doomed my existence.
Finishing my usual walk back to my apartment, I opened the door, climbed the stairs, and let myself inside.
The Arduino linked to an ultrasound sensor that I'd set up detected my presence, and turned on the speakers, starting to play the album "Damnation" by Opeth.
I took my headphones off, as well as my clothes, opened my window slightly, and let myself fall on my couch.
I was tired, more so than usual; so I wasn't even gonna bother eating tonight.
Feeling myself relax from the calming yet gloomy music, I closed my eyes.
Feeling my thoughts quiet down and my consciousness subtly fading away, I fell asleep.