idk, wanna be sorry but I'm not really sorry for this

poorly written, rough sex, AU of sorts, dark themes and...uh well SPN

also sorry for bad grammar (spell-checked and all, but you know me. If you spot anything ugly, let me know and I'll hunt it down and kill it with fire)

Dark Tempest

He's cold. Freezing almost. He slowly opens his eyes, wondering if that is another way how to torture him to death, only to bring him back again and again. Because there is no death in Hell, no mercy, just sharp endless pain and flames and horror.

He does not recognize the place. He sees trees and a darkened sky above them. It looks like Earth, almost feels like it, but Adam knows better. The unnatural stillness of nature around him, the heavy humid air flooding his lungs, the cold numbing his fingers and the black starless sky upon him seem very Earthly and yet completely otherworldly.

There is a quiet rustle in the vegetation behind him. He wants to turn around and see, but his body refuses to move, muscles clenching in an unexpected cramp. Adam howls in pain and the sharp echo of his voice flies through the woods, desperate and loud.

He catches a brief flash of movement in the corner of his eye and a glimpse of bright red eyes staring at him. He blinks and everything is still once again, only the shining crimson orbs remain in the darkness. Adam sighs. His whole body tenses, bracing for more excruciating pain and yet another death of sorts. Neither of those comes.

There is a screech instead, that of a wounded monster. Warm droplets land on Adam's face and when he breaths in he smells sweat and freshly spilled blood. The creature howls again. Adam wishes he could cover his ears, he has heard enough pained cries for a lifetime, mostly his own, although that makes a little difference.

The creature, whatever it is, falls down after that, with a heavy thud that shakes the ground. Adam does not feel any relief, there is another wave of fear instead, and this time he doesn't care about the pain and tries to crawl away.

„Hey." The voice is soft, quiet and very human. Fool's hope makes Adam's heart skip a beat when a calloused hand brushes strands of sweaty hair from his eyes. He sees a silhouette then, a kind face and piercing blue eyes that almost shine in the darkness. „Don't move." The man whispers and gently strokes his cheek.

„Who are you." Adam chokes out. „Where am I." his own voice sounds hoarse and strange and he does not know whether it is from all the screaming or not speaking properly for what feels like years. The man seems to tense and Adam catches the brief glimpse of worry flashing across the stranger's face. His heart drops then, all hope gone.

„My name is Nick." the man says then, and looks away. „This is Purgatory." he adds, letting the words fully sink in. He flinches, when Adam barks out a laugh. „I'm serious."

„I know." Adam mutters. „I believe you. It's just that I've already been to Heaven and Hell, so this seems like a bad kind of irony to me."

Nick tilts his head to a side. He seems to be surprised, interested. Adam gives him a sad smile and shakes his head. „Long story. You probably wouldn't believe it anyways." Nick's eyes narrow slightly and he sighs.

„Just tell me." Nick insists, but the only other thing he hears from Adam that night is the boy's name.

It seems natural that they stick together after that, being the only humans in that place and all, but Adam likes to think they have a deeper understanding. He cannot explain what makes him feel like that since they barely talk, and if they do it's never personal, but it is there, an unexplainable connection running impossibly deep, so deep it freaks him sometimes. He wonders what could have caused this, keeps thinking maybe it is a coincidence, but then one night Adam learns they have more in common than he' would ever think they could.

The night is quiet and dark. Their enemies are quiet, perhaps hunting elsewhere, perhaps just scared away by the small fire Adam has dared to light. The crackling sounds of burning wood are filling the air, but the silence behind is still heavy. Nick probably senses the tension, too, so he asks Adam about his story. Adam only laughs it off, without looking away from the dancing flames. Nick is persistent though, and in the end, it's him, who starts talking.

He speaks of his childhood, happy and content, and slips into more serious tones once he mentions his wife and his child. There are more pauses in that part, more gazing aimlessly into the darkened sky. When Nick, choking on his own words, describes the death of his beloved, Adam politely says he's sorry and tries not to think about his mother's end. Or his own. He fails, but Nick doesn't even notice how far away Adam's mind is, engrossed in his own story.

„I think I would have killed myself after that. Or at least tried to. But then he came, and all the rage, the loneliness, all my sadness...he took it and offered me salvation. I was a fool to accept."

„Who?" asks Adam absently and draws his knees closer to his chest.

„The Morningstar." Nick says quietly and his eyes are suddenly boring into Adam. „Lucifer, the fallen archangel."

Adam blinks. His instincts tell him to jump to his feet and run, but his body is frozen in place. „Say that again."he whispers as a cold hand of fear clenches his guts. He already knows, everything suddenly makes sense and he feels sick to the core when Nick speaks again.

„It might seem a little unbelievable, but yes, Lucifer came to me and asked me to be his vessel. I was weak and his words and promises were solace, so I said yes. I don't remember much after that, only the feeling..like...I wasn't enough for Him, the pain-"

„When Michael wore me, I felt like a coat too small for his body, put on with too much force and tearing at the seams. I was burning inside, rotting, dying, keept together only with the sheer force of his power and will. I wasn't good enough for him and he hated every second of it, he wanted his true vessel, something I could never be. He blamed me for his failure and when the Winchesters tossed us to Hell, he took his hate off on me. I-"Adam stops instantly and swallows hard. Nick is gaping at him but Adam doesn't even notice, he stares into the flames, breathing heavily. His mind is back in Hell again, years, perhaps centuries of merciless torture, Michael and Lucifer taking turns, killing him again and again, and healing his wounds only to start anew.

Nicks arms are firm around him as he pulls him close and Adam finds no strength to resist. The confession has lifted the crushing weight from his shoulders, but also brought back the memories he'd give up everything to forget.

„I thought my brothers would save me, but they never did. Sam was rescued from the Cage, but I was left there."Adam sobs quietly into Nick's shoulder. He doesn't mean to, but the flood of feelings he has been supressing for too long is overwhelming. „They left me locked with two angry archangels and didn't even try to help me. I don't remember how many times they killed me and brought me back again. Just the pain, I can't forget that."Adam's voice breaks and he falls silent after that. Nick's hand gently strokes his back, soothing and calming and it doesn't take Adam long to fall asleep. For the first time in weeks, he doesn't dream of Hell, and feels safe when he wakes up. That illusion does not last long.

The fight takes a lot out of them, they are barely standing when the monster is defeated, yet Adam feels a strange surge of energy ripple through him as the smell of fresh blod fills his nostrils. Everything becomes sharp, the faded grey of Purgatory melts into vivid colours that almost burn his eyes, the quiet sounds of decaying nature feel like thunder to his ears. He turns to Nick, trying to say he might be sick, but when his eyes meet the icy blue orbs, the beast settled in his insides roars in pleasure.

„I know, I feel it too."says Nick, stuttering a little. He seems just as terrified as Adam is, but the internal fire seems to quickly take over. Nick's first step towards Adam is hesitant, almost unwilling, but as he closes the distance between them, the doubts seem to disappear. Adam doesn't even look, there is no need to. At this point, he almost feels Nick. Except it's not really Nick anymore.

It's not them, but the faint imprints of Lucifer and Michael that bind them together and provide the inner bond that Nick and Adam would probably never create on their own. It scares him, yet he clings to it with desperation he didn't ever think he could muster.

When Nick, still covered in grime and black blood, kisses him hard, Adam hardly even tries to protest. The rational part of his brain screams no, but the part scarred by Michael screams for completion and Adam is too weak to resist.

It's not gentle. Nick's patience he has most of the times is gone, replaced by something primal and dangerous. The resentment in those icy blue eyes does not belong to Nick, the dark tempest of hate Adam feels when Nick's fingers dig into his hips does not originate from his own mind.

„We probably shouldn't..."Adam tries, but words mean nothing since he is already pulling Nick down to the ground. Nick nods and his hands slip under Adam's shirt, pushing it up. The cold air feels like a gentle caress against Adam's burning skin, but then Nick's hands are back on him, rough and demanding.

„I'm so sorry"Nick growls through his clenched teeth, quickly unbuttoning Adam's pants and pulling them down along with is underwear, freeing Adam's already hard cock. „I just-"

„Shut up and fuck me." Adam barks out, arching up in a desperate attempt to get at least some friction. Nick seems to understand, gripping Adam's manhood loosely with a calloused palm. Adam throws his head back and groans, drowning in the sensation for a second, before he moves to undress Nick, itching to touch and mark his skin.

Soon Nick is stark naked as well and the tip of his erection is pressing against Adam's entrance. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice tells Adam this is going to be very unpleasant, but it's already too late, both Adam and Nick are long gone, or at least their self-control is.

„I don't hate you." Nick whispers, burying himself to the hilt. Adam screams and his nails scrape down Nick's back, digging deep into the flesh, drawing blood. The pain is excruciating, raw and exquisite, and Adam's hips rise to meet Nick's thrusts, creating a heavenly perfection that isn't meant for them, but works all the same.
„I know."Adam chokes on his own words, desperately trying not to look into Nick's eyes. He knows what he would see there, knows that witnessing Nick's agony would not help to supress his own. „I know..." he says, voice barely a ghostly breath on the other's skin, just before his teeth sink into Nick's shoulder and Adam tastes the odd mixture of blood, sweat and dirt on his tongue. Nick only groans and thrusts harder.

„I am sorry."Nick mumbles into Adam's ear and comes hard with a strangled cry. Adam shuts his eyes tighly and after a few jerky movement's of Nick's hand around his cock he tips over the edge as well.

„Don't be."Adam says when he finally catches his breath. He is positively exhausted, unpleasantly sore and, after a long time he feels whole. „It's not as if we could help it."he mutters and absently strokes the claw marks on Nick's back, just where an angel's wings would be.

Nick gives him an odd look, his eyes glistening with regret, but doesn't argue. Adam hesitantly inches closer, until Nick understands the message and wraps his arms around Adam in a poor imitation of a soothing embrace.
Now, when the fiery hate is gone and the sickening shards the angels left in them have subsided, the world is back to its dark colors, the heavy silence surrounding them once again. Adam thinks he should feel relief, but there is only vast emptiness inside, as if the angelic rage was the only thing that kept him going.

„Do you think we will ever get out?" Adam asks and closes his eyes. Nick doesn't respond, but Adam can't say he'd expect him to anyways, since they both already know the answer. They will never really get out of their prison, no matter where they go, they can never escape. The angels will always be inside them, and one day, they will win.

1'M 50RRY