Title: Worth the wait
Author: Loz
E-Mail: loz06@yahoo.com
Rating: R
Category: CJ/Leo
Series: Stand-alone
Spoilers: Puzzle piece of CJ/Leo history, plucked, prodded and re-arranged to suit me.
Archive (if applicable): The National Library http://westwingstories.com/library
Feedback: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated.
Summary:
Author's Notes: -
Disclaimers:Can I vote Aaron out of the House and off the Island? *Sigh* I didn't think so, status quo remains.
~*~
"You're leaving me?" Not two minutes ago, Mallory had met him inside the door with open arms when he announced his return and it was as if he'd been gone for six months to the bowls of the earth, not a thirty-day rehabilitation center.
And when the young girl had stepped out of his focus she'd began sprouting about all the things she'd done while he was gone and he'd expected Jenny to greet him with welcoming open arms as his young daughter just had.
Except her arms were full with the two suitcases from the quartet he'd bought for their honeymoon, the other two sat at his side.
"I can't live like this anymore." Her tone soft and apologetic, she had never once raised her voice.
"Live like what Jenny, I've just done rehab...I'm clean, I'm not going back."
"It's not that..."
"Then what?" From the corner of his eye he catches Mallory watching them around the doorframe and he wants to tell her to go to her room, to shield her, but she's twelve years old and she's not stupid.
"I can't live with the eighteen hour days, the phone messages from secretaries and the excuses why you can't be there...it's not fair on me...or Mallory."
"Jenny."
"I'm living my whole life...waiting, waiting for you to call, waiting for you to come home, waiting for you to clean yourself up, waiting for the call that asks me to come to the hospital."
"It's different now." He watches Mallory from the corner of his eye hoping to pull the conversation from its never-ending plunge. "It will be."
"It won't Leo, you might be sober, but you're still the same and tomorrow you'll get up and go to work and you might crawl into bed next to me sometime before sunrise and you'll leave before Mallory goes to school and you'll be home after she's gone to bed."
"I won't...I'll change."
"Leo."
"Don't go."
"I can't ask you to change, life is to short to not live it happily."
"Don't go."
"I have to Leo." She picks up her bags and in his peripheral vision he sees Mallory standing solemnly, but not crying as he assumed she might. There's obviously been a larger discussion take place in his absence.
"Don't go." He repeats.
"Leo." She sighs any hopes that this would be easy fast escaping her.
"No, I mean I'll go, you stay." He picks up his bags having only put them down a matter of minutes ago and Mallory tears away from where she had been watching, throwing her arms around him and planting her feet to the ground, pleading with him not to go.
He can only brush his hands through her hair and comfort her with words he doesn't know will be necessarily true as her tears dampen his shirt. He looks over at his wife who meets him with the same somber expression.
Fifteen minutes after he came home, sober and free of pills, he finds himself on the outside of his front door again. He wonders why she chose now, because anytime before now she could have taken him to divorce court and cleaned him out with claims he wasn't a fit husband and father...those claims haven't changed in their validity. The fact she didn't tells him that she does still care about him.
There's no car to take him anywhere and he has no idea where to go anyway.
He stands for ten minutes, dazed and replaying the events of inside before calling a cab and sitting on his front step.
~*~
"Margaret." He hollers for his assistant, not taking his eyes from the TV screen.
"Yes."
"Who is that?" He points to the red head on the screen that's standing behind a podium, talking about something he isn't interested in.
"CJ Cregg." Margaret turns up the volume but he doesn't hear her velvet voice, to distracted as she brushes the hair from her face and the glasses back up her nose.
"EMILY's list, right." He confirms.
"Mmm Hmm."
"Make sure she gets an invitation." He finally draws his attention from the screen as she steps down from the podium.
~*~
The ballroom is about three times as big as his house...what used to be his house. Despite this the Secretary of Labor hovers in the corner furthest from the bar, closer to the dance floor and further from some of the members of the Republican leadership who have congregated near the orchestra, their voices covered by the string ensemble.
It doesn't matter that he's standing alone because his eyes are scanning for one person, the one person he made Margaret check had replied that she would be attending.
She's taller than he realized from television and thinner, tonight her hair is pulled up and her glasses have probably given way to contact lenses. But she looks multiple times more beautiful in the navy off the shoulder dress.
She's laughing with the governor of Indiana and he doesn't hesitate to interrupt their conversation.
"Would you mind Jack?" He asks, not looking at CJ for a reaction, leading her onto the dance floor when the governor nods.
A smiles plays across her lips as his hand around her waist pulls her closer and he finds it a little intimidating at first because she's taller than he is.
"I'm Leo McGarry." His eyes brush over her amethyst necklace before meeting hers.
"I know who you are." Her smile grows and Leo raises his eyebrows.
"I've been watching you all night." He confesses...and on TV whenever she was featured.
"Well good, because I wanted you to." His heart flutters and he nearly blows it by flattening her foot under his.
"It's a bit hard not to really." He declares. "You're head and shoulders above the rest of the women in the room." and he swears there was a tiny blush race across her pale skin.
"I usually don't find it hard to see above the crowd." Her arm brushes the back of his neck and a rash of goose pimples unfurls across it.
"I wasn't referring to your height." He murmurs.
"Are you flirting with me Mr. McGarry?" She feigns shock.
"Yes, are you flirting with me?" He says smugly.
"Maybe." Her voice floats back as the song ends.
~*~
"We're not supposed to be in here." She laughs as he leads her into the dining area, his fingers entwined in hers. Dinner hasn't been announced yet so it remains eerily quite except for the faint sounds of music from the room next door.
He circles the tables leading her laughing behind him till he finds her name and his and switches hers with the Californian Congressman that was meant to be eating to his right.
"You're not leading me up the garden path are you Mr. McGarry?" She asks when one of the staff glares at them on his way past to the kitchen.
"Some are more easily and willingly led Ms. Cregg."
"Have dinner with me." His hand that rests gently on her hip doesn't go unnoticed.
"I am." She says teasingly.
"Tomorrow night." He shrugs wiping his date book clear for anytime she might want to meet.
"You've got yourself a date." She says and wanders back to the party, Leo grinning, pleased with himself not far behind.
~*~
Over dinner they make polite conversation with the rest of the people sitting at their table and when her leg brushes his the first time, he puts it to one side like the sprouts that where served up to him.
By the second, third and forth time it becomes impossible to deny and ignore.
When desert is placed in front of them her hand rests on his thigh and his conversation with the rest of the table ceases.
After dinner and four more dances where their bodies gravitate closer to each other, but not so that people notice, she disappears to work the room and he doesn't see her again for the rest of the night.
Later in the hotel foyer he sees her get into a cab alone out front.
And the spot where her hand rested over strawberry soufflé aches a little.
~*~
Two days later Margaret pokes her head into the office because CJ's on the phone and Leo picks it up and without preamble says what he wants to.
"You callously flirt with me over desert and then leave without saying goodbye." He protests in a teasing tone.
"I'm calling now aren't I?" She says smoothly with a smile in her voice.
"Why are you calling?" As if he didn't already know.
"I remembered I wanted to have dinner with you."
"You remembered." He places emphasis on the last word.
"Mmm, I enjoyed our meal the other night." He recalls her hand that slipped as high as it could before it would become too obvious of its intentions.
"So did I?" He pushes himself back into his chair.
"What say I come by around eight, pick you up." She offers.
"You'll pick me up?" He confirms.
"Do you know where I work?" She waits, silence on the other end.
"I can find out...I have connections." He compensates.
"I'll come by at eight." She laughs, breathing a goodbye before hanging up.
~*~
When Leo hangs up from CJ he has to make the call he never wants to. It's his night with Mallory, a custody agreement reached outside the courts, but tonight isn't the sort of dinner that he wants his teenage daughter trailing along on, chanting the states of America in alphabetical order...and backwards.
"I have a business dinner Jen." He sighs apologetically, looking up to see Mallory dropping herself into his couch, along with a shoulder bag full of books.
He waves hi, but is met with a frown because she knows he's going to ditch her tonight, he knows he doesn't deserve her unconditional love, because it's happened too many times.
"Hey Mally." He comes round to kiss her forehead.
"Who are you going on a date with dad?" She asks when he sits down next to her.
"I'm not, it's business." He covers.
"You are or you wouldn't have lied on the phone." It's impossible to put anything past her.
"How did you know?" Leo asks with a cupped hand at her chin, gently bringing her eyes to his.
"You've lied to me so many times...I know you dad." She says it like the fact it is and she's come to accept. But it only serves to make Leo feel worse.
"Are you going to marry her?" The brilliant blue eyes he passed onto her light up and he wonders how she moves from somber to enthuse in one beat and if she really is as adjusted to her parents split as she appears.
"It's just a date Mally." Leo laughs getting up. "Bring your homework up to my desk."
~*~
Leo watches as Jen and Mallory leave down the now darkened corridor and he doesn't know who's more angry, Jenny for having to come and get Mallory like some sort of sitter or Mallory who's despondant because she's been let down by her father once again, though he promised to make it up to her.
Jenny is most likely annoyed with Leo's actions as well.
Divorcees with children, weren't meant to date he decides.
When CJ rounds the corner coming the other way Leo silently curses. However his wife and hopefully new girlfriend swap the polite smiles of two strangers.
When Jenny is gone and CJ within arms reach he relaxes in the knowledge that neither woman seems to have figured out who the other is to him.
"Are you ready?" She says with the familiarity of two people who have known each other longer than they have.
"I know where you work." Leo protests, intentionally brushing his fingers with hers as they walk out.
CJ just laughs sliding her hand into his.
~*~
"That's distracting." He smiles, looking up from the menu as her nylon clad foot climbs under his pant leg. "Who knows what I might end up ordering."
"How about this?" She throws the napkin from her lap on the table and moves from the chair opposite him to the one next to him.
Their lips barely touch at first the only feeling coming from her gentle exhale, this close he notices her feminine scent probably a mixture of soaps, perfumes and mositurisers. When her lips brush gently across his, top then bottom she lingers enjoying the electric feeling that passes between them. Her eyes remain open watching for a reaction, her hands linking loosely with his.
His eyes remain closed for a moment after the kiss, allowing himself to absorb everything.
"You're flirting with me." He says with an absent look in his eye, replaying the kiss.
"I like you Leo McGarry."
"Come work for me." He rests a gentle hand on her knee.
"I think there's a law against running a job interview like this." She nods to the waiter who tops up the water in their glasses.
"I don't care." He shrugs.
"Doing what?" She laughs as his hand inches higher.
"Nothing, you can just sit in my office and I can look at you all day."
"You'd never get any work done." She moves her head closer dancing around his face, pulling back before his lips reach out to hers again.
"I know." He says softly like it's the best thing in the world.
"You'd want to do more than look." She says before meeting her lips softly with his again.
~*~
"Jenny's on the phone." Margaret interrupts Leo reliving last night's goodnight kiss in his head.
"Hello." He says not giving a second thought to what this might be about. It's not like it's uncommon for him to communicate with his ex-wife on a daily basis.
"We need to talk." She sighs like she's not looking forward to the conversation anymore than he is.
"I'm listening." He scans his schedule for the afternoon.
"In person, it's important." She says firmly.
"Can you come here?" Noting he's booked fully up till four thirty.
"I suppose, what time?"
"After four thirty ok?" He'll just have to speed up the last meeting.
"Ok." She concedes and leaves him with the beeping disconnection tone.
~*~
"How are you Margaret?" Jenny asks as the younger woman takes her coat. It's a little known fact that the two women used to talk at length, back before Leo cleaned himself up, when most days he was drunk and spiraling further downwards.
Margaret was her source for honest information and a blessing in disguise because Leo wouldn't have coped with a revolving door of assistants or someone less capable.
"He won't be long." She says apologetically knowing for most of her life Jenny has waited on the other side of the door for her husband, be it at the office or at home in the bathroom as his body rejected the alcohol his liver couldn't cope with.
"It's Ok." And it is because she's accepted this is the way it is, but she made a conscious choice not to have to live with it anymore on a daily basis.
~*~
"How are you?" He pulls the reading glasses from his face, falling into the more comfortable couch for the 'talk'.
"Good."
"You wanted to talk to me about something." He rubs the bridge of his nose and she recognizes he's still working the same hours as before.
"I think we need some rules." The word rules says to him lawyers, so far they've managed without them, despite being one himself they tend only to lessen the amount Mallory inherits when he dies.
"Rules?" He prompts for more information.
"About dating." And now she has his full attention.
"Who's asked Mallory on a date?"
"Rules for you and I." The only possibility that comes to him is that Jenny put two and two together last night when she passed CJ in the corridor...it wouldn't have been to hard to figure.
"Ok." He goes along wondering if there's going to be curfews and other restrictions applied.
"How about no partners staying over on school night, or out past eleven thirty?" She cringes slightly waiting for him to blow up about how this isn't her business.
"All right." He agrees; it's constricting but not unworkable.
"When you have Mallory you can't ring me to come take her so you can go out and vice versa for me." He nods...she was angry about last night.
"And we have to talk to her about sex."
"Haven't we already?" Leo recalls a snowy night last December when they sat around the fire and Jenny dragged out two books her mother had bought for her, which were hideously out of date.
"Not enough."
"She's thirteen Jenny, she probably knows more than we do combined." And he instantly wants to rephrase 'we' and 'combined'.
"If she comes to me pregnant I want to know I've done everything I possibly could to educate her in the prevention of pregnancy."
"You've got her tomorrow night right?"
"Eight o'clock." She gathers her purse she put on the floor.
"I'll be there." He falls back into the depths of his couch watching Jenny and Margaret exchange quick goodbyes through the open doorway.
The night before his third date with CJ, maybe his thirteen year old daughter could tell him if sex has changed in the last...he cared not admit to himself how long it had been since he was single.
~*~
"Good morning." Leo breezes into Margaret's office the next day, his assistant visibly jumping at his cheery greeting coming out of the blue.
"Hi." She twists her features wondering what's put him in a good mood and then asks herself why she has to think about it because he left again last night with a tall red head.
"Can you send some flowers for me?" His knuckles tapping against her hardwood desk. She diligently picks up her notepad and pen waiting to hear what he wants, at the same time suspecting she could almost order for him.
"A dozen red roses...no two dozen." Margaret doesn't even want to think about what happened last night for him to be sending two dozen.
"Where do you want them sent?" She scribbles hurriedly, trying to recall where Leo's credit cards are.
"To her work, EMILY's list."
His instructions are met with a blank expression.
"What?" He asks defensively, he's separated so it's not like he's doing anything wrong.
"Where is EMILY's list?" She accentuates each word.
"I don't know, look it up in the phone book."
It's met with 'that' sigh.
"What?" He asks again at her judging expression.
"I'm just saying, you're dating this woman and you don't know where she works...do you know where she lives." Margaret rants.
"Just order the flowers." His good mood disintegrating fast he disappears into his office.
~*~
"Are you seeing her tonight?" Margaret asks when she comes in later with his morning schedule.
"No." He says in a clipped tone, he glares up at her as she waits for an explanation. "I have to talk to Mallory about sex." He says like it was an enormously hard task.
Standing behind his desk, he thinks he sees her shudder, turned off by the thought.
~*~
He watches her lips as she lifts the white wine to her mouth, taking a delicate sip, smiling under his intense attention.
"So third date." The smile widening lifting her whole face, forgetting her meal.
"I must be doing something right." He leans back into his chair matching her smile.
"Anything you want to tell me, now's the time to tell me before we sleep together and it ends up in a bigger mess than war torn Bosnia."
"That what we're going to do...sleep together." He pulls out the coy card.
"You play your cards right." She says nonchalantly lifting the glass to her lips again.
"I'm divorced with a daughter, you passed them outside my office the night of our first date." He pushes his plate away from him a little, resting his clasped hands in his lap, searching her eyes waiting for a reaction.
"I thought so." Her grin is one of someone who is proud of themselves.
"You thought so?" He reiterates. "How'd you know?" He picks up his fork again twirling the pasta around it absently.
"Well, your ex looked pissed and so did your daughter, but for different reasons and she was sizing me up."
"My wife or my daughter?" Leo smiles.
"Both of them." CJ smiles over her wine glass.
"I forgot to tell you, there are rules now." He watches as she negotiates a long slither of pasta into her mouth.
"More baggage." She says good-naturedly and under the table he squeezes her hand for being so understanding.
~*~
"Right on curfew." She looks up at the light that is on in his third floor apartment.
"I'm sorry." His hand gently rests in hers.
"Are you kidding, single men my age in this town without some sort of history are rarer than..."
"I'm nicer than all those men." The same hand moves up tenderly across her cheek.
"Mmm Hmm." She closes her eyes loosing herself in his touch.
"I'm older than you." He says softly.
"Like a good wine..." He cuts her off from the rest of the quote as his lips meet hers; he strokes the roof of her mouth with his tongue in a gentle lingering kiss.
"Your daughter's up there?" She asks when he breaks gently away, her face is flushed but her eyes haven't opened yet.
"I'd ask you up to meet her but it would be like going from Mayfair then directly to jail."
"Do not collect two hundred dollars." she smiles initiating the kiss this time. "You should know I'd usually have sex on the third date." his groan at lost opportunities is muffled by another warm kiss.
"With all your third dates?" He sweeps gentle kisses across her facial features making sure she doesn't miss the desire in his eyes.
"Only the ones I really like." She confesses sweeping his mouth into her control again.
"Can I see you again?" He breathes, resting his lips gently above her eyelid.
"How about tomorrow night?" Her arms encircle around his neck.
"Jenny is taking Mallory to a sleepover for me, I'll make you dinner." Face-to-face he can feel her warm breath on him.
"Six o'clock." She says against his lips. He nods as she takes control and intensifies the kiss.
When she pulls away gently she tells him he'd better go inside, he watches her get back in the cab they took together from the restaurant and disappear into the dark to...wherever she lives.
~*~
"No I'm going to cook something." Leo's voice travels through the open door.
Outside Margaret rolls her eyes.
"Of course I can cook."
Margaret shakes her head.
"I can do more than boil water." He protests.
Outside Margaret mentally reminds him she brings him coffee everyday...boiled water.
"I'll see you tonight, bye."
Later when she brings him lunch, there's a recipe book in with his sandwich and fruit.
Three step easy meals...nothing like a vote of no confidence.
~*~
"Hi." He reaches up to kiss CJ when she rings his doorbell at exactly six that night. Blue wash jeans cover her legs that seem to go on forever till they reach the well loved red jacket and white shirt.
Leo looks down at his own bare feet, the jeans he's owned for as long as he can remember and the plain white shirt that has a red ink stain across the front.
They must have been channeling one another when they got dressed.
"You coming in?" He encourages her with a little pull of her hand, when he turns it slips into the belt hooks of his jeans as she trails after him looking at his apartment.
"What did you cook?" She takes a deep breath of the Asian aromas that are coming from the kitchen.
~*~
"I can't believe you ordered everything from the menu." She laughs; the table in front of the couch is covered in Chinese take-out boxes.
"I didn't know what you liked." He shrugs sitting next to her, flipping the TV on to Ren and Stimpy. "Mallory." He laughs flicking it over to CNN.
"What are you doing?" He watches her maneuver herself, throwing her legs over his her right shoulder resting on the back of the couch.
"Try this." She holds a piece of chicken between the chopsticks.
"What is it?" His face scrunches and his head dips to look at the unappealing piece of meat from another angle.
"I don't know the boxes weren't marked." She wiggles it in front of him like he's a three year old who won't eat his mashed vegetables.
"Pass." He pushes her hand so the chicken hovers over the box. He's given up bothering with the six noodles that are stuck to the bottom of his box; it's discarded with the others that cover the inadequate table. "I've had enough."
He takes the carton that rests gently in her hands from her, dropping it short of the table, the exhibition piece of chicken rolling along the carpet.
"Dessert." She asks as a soft hand comes out of nowhere, gracing it's way up her shin.
~*~
Sweet and sour, that's what she tastes like he decides their lips move in a battle for supremacy or just more of what they've been getting. He's never known a tongue quite like hers; dueling with his and continually coming right back to the spots that give her the best feedback and him the best feeling.
"Where do you live?" He glides his lips off hers, eyes dark with desire and fraught with curiosity.
"Georgetown." She laughs, pulling him in, to kiss again.
In the background an eight o'clock news update goes unnoticed and its contents could include the President declaring war and neither of them would notice. As a natural progression he finds her kneeling, straddled across him and face to face with the curves of her breasts. Put in the direct path of temptation and being exceptionally comfortable with the situation, his hand that was sweeping through her hair slowly makes its way south. His fingers caress the side of her neck and she shudders a little, her lips still pressed against his. He lingers only a little while where the shirt material starts and the bare skin ends. She moans against him, unable to focus on continuing the kiss as he cups her breasts in both hands, wayward fingers rolling over the indentation in the shirt where her nipples press out to attention.
She shrieks when he gets playful, letting her fall gently onto her back on the couch, effectively trapping her under him. It's long forgotten when his lips meet hers again and his hands push her shirt up gradually till it rests above the swell of her breasts.
He draws his mouth over the curve of the newly exposed breast, kissing his way to the satin covered peak that is pointing further against the smooth material.
"God I've wanted this." She moans and underneath him her hand massages the growing bulge in his jeans that is becoming increasingly uncomfortable against the snug material.
He pulls her shirt the rest of the way over her head, concentrating his efforts at kissing, nibbling and licking his way around her elegant neck.
The front door clicks open with a key but neither notice as CJ's hand undoes the zipper on his jeans, massaging his groin through his silk boxers.
"Leo." CJ moans as he leaves a tiny mark below her collar line.
"Good CJ." He groans as she applies more pressure to her massaging strokes.
"Dad I'm home." The voice of a thirteen year old calls in the direction of the upstairs bedrooms.
"Shit!" Leo curses peering over the back of the couch to see Mallory and Jenny looking up the stairs, waiting for him to come down.
"What's going on?" CJ pats her hand on her on the floor looking for her shirt.
"I don't know." Leo curses doing up his fly.
"Dad?" Mallory stands on top of the one step that divides the living room from the foyer area.
"Hey Mal." Leo jumps up from out of sight on the couch leaving CJ to struggle with her shirt, folding her long limbs in an attempt not to be seen.
"Didn't you hear me calling." She stands on her toes trying to see over the back of the couch.
"I must have fallen asleep." He puts a fatherly arm around her, turning her focus away towards Jenny. "Hi." he says softly to his ex-wife.
"I'm sorry about this."
"I thought you were going to a sleepover tonight." Leo draws Mallory into the conversation because she's looking over her shoulder towards CJ.
"I wasn't allowed." Mallory sounds suitably angry and Leo looks to Jenny for an explanation. Mallory slips from his loose grip when she sees the tousled red hair above the back of the couch.
"Come into the kitchen." Leo rushes Jenny, leaving CJ to fend for herself with Mallory; right now he'd rather deal with Mallory knowing about CJ than Jenny.
~*~
"Hi." Mallory falls into the spot next to CJ.
"Hi." CJ shifts uncomfortably.
"Are you my dads girlfriend?"
"Yes." CJ cringes.
"Cool...I'm Mallory." The younger girls face light up.
"CJ."
"Wow, your parents were lazy." She takes remote control, flicking the TV away from CNN.
"Claudia Jean." CJ relaxes a little.
"I'm a ma'am, well MAM, Mallory Ann McGarry."
"I'm CJC, Claudia Jean Cregg." The two share a smile at strange similarities.
~*~
"I'm sorry, they went out to eat after tennis coaching and then I was supposed to take her to Jessica's for the sleepover." Leo looks confused as how they ended up here.
"Jessica's parents aren't at home, the sleepover wasn't supervised."
Leo nods understandingly however Jenny still launches into defense of her actions.
"I wasn't going to leave her there without supervision, what if there'd been a fire, or someone tried to break in."
"It's Ok, I would have done the same thing." He says reassuringly.
"Anyway I ended up calling other parents and as it turned out they wanted their kids to come home, so I dropped them home and then I came here. It is your night I thought you'd..."
"She can stay, it's Ok." Leo nods. "Thanks for doing all that."
"I'd better go." She shifts her bag from one hand to another.
~*~
"My dad is really great." Mallory flicks channels at breakneck speed, bubbling about how great her dad is. "It's been even better since they've been divorced I mean I'll always want them to get back together but it's better this way."
CJ starts to feel a little dizzy as the advertisements, dramas, news and comedy flash by.
"Are your parents divorced?" She stops on Seinfeld repeats looking seriously at CJ.
"No." CJ's head shaking slowly.
"Are you and dad going to get married?" It knocks CJ for a six.
"Mallory I'm going." Jenny comes round the couch. "Oh hi." She says a little stunned at seeing CJ on the couch, all be it now fully clothed.
"Hi." CJ stands up. "CJ Cregg." She says politely.
"Jenny O'Brien." Her face covered with the realization that CJ is the same woman that she passed outside the office one night last week.
"Jenny's my ex wife." Leo rushes into the room, as if CJ didn't already realize.
"I'll see you the day after tomorrow." Jenny leans down to kiss her daughter who is caught up in a Buffy repeat.
"Bye." Mallory looks between the three adults.
"I'm really sorry." CJ hears Jenny whisper at the front door; Leo brushes the apology off and makes plans to drop Mallory off when the sleeping arrangements change.
The door clicks quietly shut and CJ swears she hears him breath a sigh of relief.
~*~
"Bed Mallory Ann." Leo's voice booms, when she doesn't budge he wrestles the remote from her hand over top of the couch. When she stands where she was sitting previously, protesting at the early time he pulls her up over his shoulder, her arms flailing, legs kicking and squealing happily.
"Night CJ." She waves over her fathers shoulder.
"Goodnight Mallory." CJ calls back and Leo spins around, raising an eyebrow to her as if to say 'well this is a development.'
CJ swears at the top of the stairs she hears Mallory tell Leo she really likes her and they should get married...CJ just smiles.
~*~
"I'm so sorry." A warm pair of arms encircles her; his gentle mouth nibbles around her ear.
"It's Ok...I keep saying that." She laughs, running her hand down his cheek.
"Well I'm not happy about it." He kisses his way down her neck, pushing aside her shirt to gain access to her shoulders.
"Your daughter is very well adjusted to the divorce and everything."
"You two had a nice chat did you?" He grins up at her. "She's strong like her mother." The smile turning into serious.
"She's like her father." CJ says softly brushing her lips across his and letting him deepen the kiss.
"I've got to go." She sighs looking at him regretfully.
"Stay." He follows her into the foyer as she grabs her red jacket.
"I don't think so." Her head shakes as an enormous grin engulfs it.
"Come on." He reaches up to kiss her again and she slips easily into his arms.
"Your ex wife is downstairs looking at her watch to make sure I leave before curfew and when I don't she'll be up here like a flash grilling you that I stayed two seconds past your agreement."
"I don't care." He brushes her red hair that cascades down her face behind her ear.
"You will." She promises.
"I don't care cause I'm horny." CJ breaks into a fit of giggles, looking up stairs in the off chance Mallory was listening.
She laughs against his lips kissing him till the giggles take over.
"I've already wasted one perfectly good hard on talking to my ex-wife about my daughter." He bemoans.
"We can go back to my place after dinner on Saturday." Her eyes darkening with desire after one false start.
"I'm sorry." He apologizes again.
"Don't be I like you." She hovers her lips around his, dancing her tongue with his when she's said what she wants to.
"You'll get over it." He whispers as their heads rest together.
"I don't think so." She places a chaste kiss on his forehead.
"Saturday." He confirms before she closes the door after her.
~*~
"You want to skip dinner don't you?" She whispers as they're shown to their table.
Saturday, Mallory at her mothers, CJ's place empty, when they were last together she told him she'd wanted to have sex with him...so yes he could conceive of just going straight to her house, as unromantic as it is.
"To bad, you want to get to the movie you've got to sit through the music and the advertisements and the previews."
"Is that what they're calling it these days?" He teases, sliding into his chair.
"What you'll be calling is my name." She picks up the menu as the familiar warm foot brushes against his leg.
~*~
There are four locks on CJ's front door and when they're inside she makes sure each on is secure. In the kitchen she picks up the phone and dials some random numbers leaving it off the hook. She pulls the phone from Leo's waist and hers from her bag taking the battery out of them both and shutting them into the fridge on the second shelf. Their pagers go in the microwave oven.
No lights are switched on as she leads him to the threshold of her bedroom.
"Nobody's home, no disturbances." She informs him pulling his jacket off and leaving it where it falls.
His gentle hands pull her blouse free of her skirt, undoing each button leisurely with care her eyes never leaving his.
"Leo." She whispers before meeting her lips with his, her tongue tangling with his as he gently slides the blouse off her shoulders with his thumbs letting it fall to the floor where they stand.
"What it is?" His hands rest possessively on her bare stomach.
"Nothing." She shakes her head gathering the hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head.
Backing into her bedroom she stops when the back of her knees hit the mattress, a gentle yet persistent hand encouraging him into her personal space so she can resume kissing him.
"God what you do to me." CJ breathes as his hands cup her breasts making pass after pass over her nipples through the lace bra.
He eases one strap off her shoulder and then the other as he relishes in the smooth pale skin and he knows he has all the time in the world to test every inch for sensitivity.
He first feels her warm hands making circles around his navel and he follows the tingling feeling she causes, through his light peppering of chest hair up to his own nipples, teasing and encouraging them to tight peaks.
He hooks his hands into the elastic waist skirt pushing it down her long legs as far as he can before he runs out of arm length and she wiggles her legs a little as it falls pooling at her feet.
"One for me one for you." She says softly pulling his belt open, struggling to get the button open through its tiny hole. When CJ succeeds the pants puddle at his feet like her skirt did.
His eyes seek permission from hers as his hands drift around the back to the hooks of her bra. He unsnaps in one swift movement and encourages it off her gradually, barely touching her with the pads of his fingers.
"You're beautiful." Leo whispers taking her in from head to toe.
"You're flirting with me." She teases before pulling their bodies together and melting into him with a kiss, they simultaneously moan at the first real intimate contact.
"Somehow I don't think I need to flirt at this point." His hand wrapped around her back carefully guides them onto the bed.
Underneath him she bucks her hips towards his rubbing her groin with his as he takes as much of her breast as he can into his mouth. Her hands weave through his hair murmuring his name over and over as his tongue swirls and his teeth gently encourage her taught nipples into harder peaks.
He blows lightly on the damp skin before following his hands across her stomach nipping and sucking leaving behind small patches of dampness that chill with the cool air in the room.
With loving hands CJ encourages him back up where she kisses him hungrily, her hands playing with the elastic of his boxers but making no attempt to free his growing erection from it's confines. He adopts similar actions knowing she's teasing him, he fluently lifts the top of the pink material from her skin as if he's about to pull them off her, only to lay the delicate material back down against her skin again.
"You're teasing." She sighs while he sucks and kisses his way around her neck. When she gets not verbal reply she presses her palm against his erection, massaging him in effortless strokes.
"Two can play at that game." Leo growls clamping his mouth onto hers in an eager kiss and trailing a hand back down her body in one flowing movement to caress her center through her wet panties.
Lost in the sensations that shoot through him from her strokes he doesn't notice her roll him onto his back. "Someone had to take the initiative." She kisses him on the mouth again before disappearing down him, taking his boxers with her.
It's cold for a second as he hears the silk crush onto the floor but he looses all reason when her warm mouth kisses it's way up the inside of his thigh. Her name rings out in the dark room as a lone nail grazes its way down the underside of his cock culminating in her gingerly cupping his balls rolling them lightly around in her hands.
When her mouth encases him, almost all reason leaves his mind. The velvet tongue that his mouth has got to know so well teases it's way up and down his large vein, circling the head of him left and right, dipping in and out of the tip which is weeping with precum.
He pushes further into her mouth bumping the head of his cock on the back of her throat, reacting to the bliss that shoots through him, calling out her name as CJ had predicted he would when she increases her suction.
CJ stops, somehow instinctively knowing that he's getting to close to risk further stimulation. She feathers light kisses as she slides her way back up him, meeting his welcoming mouth with hers, a little bit of him on her tongue.
"I want you inside of me." She breathes rolling onto her back taking him with her.
Wordlessly he spreads her legs with his knee. "Do we need anything?" His voice husky with desire, rubbing his seeping cock across her folds, aching to be inside her.
"No." She whispers feeling him instantly press against her opening once he knows they're all right. He fills her in a few strokes, not moving inside her straight away, lost in the feeling of her muscles clenched around him as if the deep passage was made only for him.
"Move Leo." She encourages pressing her hips closer to his trying to get him to fill her more. Her legs wrap around him drawing him further inside her. His thrusts are short and sharp at first but as they fall into a rhythm they grow longer moving almost all the way out and descending back inside her again
He finds her clit and rubs in time as they meet each other thrust for thrust, watching her face as the effect of his touch shuts down her brain to anything other than the immense pleasure.
"Oh God Leo." He knows that voice it's the one that says I'm so close to coming.
"C-J." He draws out the two letters as he feels her clench tighter around him, her orgasm washes through her tripping him over the brink as she squeezes everything he has out of him.
"God I've wanted that." She says kissing him as he falls spent on top of her.
"That was...good." He breathes heavily sliding out of her warm passage. Good does no justice to what they've just experienced but his brain can't comprehend bigger words. He rolls onto his back, putting his arms around her when she encircles herself around him.
CJ listens to his heartbeat as it returns to normal, affectionately runs her finger through the sprinkling of light hair on his chest.
"What are you thinking?" He looks down noticing her staring at the bedroom door.
"I'm waiting for your ex wife to walk in and say it's past curfew." She laughs.
"Or Mallory to ask when the baby's due." He adds watching her smile against his chest as it rises and falls.
"It won't always be like that." He promises as a gentle hands brushes through her hair.
"I know." She says sleepily as he slides down the bed curling up next to her to sleep.
~*~
In one hand CJ grips the phone on her desk, the other holds the elegant pen which was a present from her father last birthday, the cap is still on and it traces the outline of the small red heart with a six inside it drawn next to today's date.
"Dinner at my place tonight with Mallory?" Leo asks her over the phone.
Six months.
"You're not cooking are you?" She teases remembering the first time she ate at his place.
Six-month anniversary.
"I know it's a big step, but Mallory really likes you." He tries to ease what he assumes is the source of her hesitation.
"Just Mallory." She sounds hurt, digging for some soppy affection.
"There's another McGarry who's pretty fond of you as well...so you'll come?"
"Same time as always."
"I'll see you then."
~*~
"Hi." CJ dips down to kiss him realizing she loves him just as much in the old jeans he wears when he's at home as the tailored cut suits he wears to work.
"Turn around." He says with a straight face. "And close your eyes."
"Why?" She folds her arms across her chest.
"Just do it." He places his hands gently on her hips; she lets him swivel her so she's facing the door again. "Are your eyes closed?"
Her arms fall to her side again as he peers around her finding them open.
"Close 'em." He laughs and she sighs giving in.
For a few moments she can hear him rustling with something and even with her eyes closed she can sense him put something in front of her and then around her neck. When it falls just above her blouse he gives her permission to open her eyes.
Her fingers find the pendant first and when her eyes focus on it she realizes it's the necklace that she admired about five months ago in a store window around the corner from where he worked.
She remembers the Saturday and how she'd stopped to admire it and then been disappointed at its high price promising she'd come back when a sale was on.
Her breath catches in her throat as she turns and hugs him tightly.
"You remembered." Tears springing in her eyes.
"Happy Anniversary." He says over her shoulder.
When she slowly pulls away from kissing him a slightly smug look crosses his face. "You thought I forgot didn't you?"
"It's beautiful, I love it." She nods fingering the pendant with it's amethyst stone.
"You were wearing an amethyst the night I met you." He squeezes her hand in his leaning in to kiss her going deeper this time.
"Thank you." Her hand meeting his on the side of her face.
"I've got to go get Mallory." He smiles. "I told her she couldn't come out of her room before I came and got her or I'd cut her allowance off."
CJ laughs watching Leo go up the stairs to rescue his imprisoned daughter.
~*~
"Night CJ." Mallory's empty bowl of ice-cream clatters on the table in front of her.
"Goodnight ma'am." CJ looks up from Leo's school yearbook with a knowing smile on her face.
"Washing up young lady." Leo says firmly.
"I'll do it in the morning dad." The dark red haired girl rushes up the stairs before Leo can say more.
"Didn't even get a kiss." He sighs putting down his magazine.
"Oh poor baby." CJ mocks moving to sit next to him under the arm waiting to go around her shoulder. She kisses him on the forehead, but not content with that he closes his mouth over hers in a warm tender kiss.
"What time is it?" CJ asks later when she turns the last page of the black and white years book, her head that has been resting against Leo's chest has just about nodded off a couple of times.
All night her fingers have been drawn to the delicate necklace he put around her neck earlier that evening. Her actions haven't missed his attention either.
"Eleven fifteen." The clock on the video blinks over.
"I better get going."
"Where?" His hand clasps over hers.
She looks at him for a moment, waiting for him to remember the rules.
"There's no school tomorrow...or work." He reminds her softly.
"I know that." She fiddles with the buttons on his shirt. "But if you take me upstairs your daughter is going to hear us and you are not going to be able to just go straight to sleep next to me."
"You think very highly of yourself Ms Cregg, besides you're not that loud." His head moves closer into hers a smile gradually spreading across his face.
"It's not me I'm worried about." CJ grins moving the rest of the way in to kiss him.
"She's out like a light." Leo strokes the side of her face.
"Leo she had four glasses of Coke tonight, right now she's on the biggest caffeine high of her life...either that or she'll be up and down to the bathroom."
"She's asleep, I'll go check." Leo goes to get off the couch; CJ's firm grip on his wrist stops her.
"I didn't bring anything to sleep in." Her head tilts slightly a smile crossing her face.
"The less for me to take off." He pulls her off the couch after him and up the stairs.
~*~
"Morning." CJ says sleepily, watching Leo slowly open his eyes.
"Can we still say that considering what time we went to sleep last night?" A warm hand pulls her closer to him.
"I don't care." She mumbles against his lips before drawing him gently into a kiss and rolling on top of him.
Her head disappears under the covers as she flutters kisses across his chest and down his abdomen, he moans when she shifts lower, nibbling at his navel and her breasts caress his penis awakening the organ to the beginnings of an erection.
"Dad!" Mallory's voice calls before the bedroom door swings open. Leo's head flicks from watching CJ's curved form under the covers to where Mallory pokes her head around the door.
Under the covers CJ flattens herself the best she can on the bed next to Leo.
"I'm going to make breakfast." She says cheerily before swinging the door closed behind her.
CJ crawls up from the depths of the bed, her smile gravitating to a laugh with Leo as he rolls her over onto her back in his arms.
He silences her laughter with a proper passionate kiss, letting themselves get carried away in their caresses and warm skin.
"How do you like your eggs CJ?" Mallory's yelling voice floats upstairs.
"I told you she could hear us." CJ laughs with Leo at being busted by his teenage daughter.
"She could see you under the bed." Leo protests.
"I'm tall and you have a small bed." She runs her hands down his morning stubble.
"We still have a couple of minutes." A wayward hand covers her breast, his lips nibbling at her neck.
~*~
"I've got to go." CJ puts the rest of the rubbery egg down, pushing aside the slightly burnt toast; lack of culinary skills apparently runs in the family.
"My fridge is empty." She smiles apologetically at Mallory who obviously wants her to stay...or coming grocery shopping with her. CJ can only tolerate small amounts of happy families, though she is getting better. She'd much rather monopolize Leo's time.
"I'll call you Monday." Leo looks up from where he's pouring his cup of coffee.
CJ leans over the table kissing him briefly so not as to embarrass Mallory, her damp hair getting caught in his fingers.
"I love you bye." She grabs her bag from beside her chair walking out of the kitchen. Leo raises his coffee to his mouth taking a sip and then freezing. CJ realizing she's just said what she said for the first time freezes in the doorway.
Mallory watches the two as CJ turns back to look at Leo, who has stood up from the table gazing lovingly at her.
"You're supposed to kiss her now." Mallory says with a mouthful of egg. She watches as Leo stands out of his chair shakily, shuffling to the edge of the table.
"You love me." He says hoarsely oblivious to the fact Mallory is still there.
CJ nods, tears brimming in her eyes, her teeth biting at her lower lip.
"I love you." She sobs taking two steps and throwing her arms around him.
"I love you too." Leo say into her hair and then repeats himself as he cups her face in his hands pressing his lips to hers gradually deepening the kiss.
"Uuugghh get a room." Mallory's breakfast plate clatters in the sink.
"Hey this is my house." Leo reminds her looking over his shoulder at her.
~*~
Leo doesn't notice Margaret slip into his office till she clears her throat and then he jumps as she looms over his desk.
"Jenny's here." She whispers, like his ex-wife might hear her through the thick oak door.
"Send her in." He says sounding frustrated.
"I thought you might like the opportunity to be busy, on a conference call or just jumped out the window."
"She's mad." Leo peels his glasses from his face.
"She's off the charts." Margaret nods.
"Send her in, but come back in fifteen, no ten minutes to remind me about some meeting."
Margaret nods, opening the office door for Jenny.
"Hi Jen." He says as happily as he can despite knowing it could well become a shouting match.
"She stayed." Jenny's voice rises as Margaret cringes closing the door.
"Who?" Leo sighs rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"We had an agreement Leo." Frustration and anger are abundant in her tone.
"I know about the agreement." He remains neutral.
"And yet Mallory tells me CJ Cregg stayed overnight."
"It was a Friday night Jenny, there was no school the next day...no anything."
"Your bedroom is down the hall from Mallory's."
"It is." He confirms.
"And you spent the night together down the hall from her."
"Look Jenny, I'm sorry I'm dating and your not."
"This has nothing to do with it." She defends heatedly.
"What is it about then?"
"We had an agreement." She repeats.
"And I did nothing to compromise that..." He takes a breath preparing to pull out the big guns. "...And this is how it's going to be, CJ is going to stay over some weekends when I have Mallory because I love CJ and Mal likes her too, she's thirteen, she's by no mean naive and she knows what goes on in a relationship."
"So now you make the decisions do you." Jenny accuses.
"I don't want to but I'll fight any attempt you make to block me from seeing her." Leo says levelly.
"I won't stop you seeing her." Jenny says quietly. "You love CJ."
"Yeah." Leo picks up the pen on his desk, twirling it between his fingers. "Things change Jen."
"I know." She nods, staring out his window for a moment. "You'll pick her up Thursday."
"I'll be there."
She leaves as silent as Margaret had announced her presence.
~*~
"CJ."
The call goes unnoticed as CJ unconsciously pulls herself closer to Leo.
"CJ." The voice calls again louder this time.
"CJ." The voice calls again and this time she opens her eyes to look right into the back of Leo's neck.
"CJ." The call comes again and she recognizes it as Mallory. Leo mumbles something incomprehensible, the hand that was resting awkwardly on her hips slides off.
She rolls onto her back looking at the clock, it's nine on a Sunday morning and she can't figure out why Mallory is calling her, she usually has no problem opening the door without knocking.
"CJ." Realizing the cry isn't going to go away she slumps out of bed pulling Leo's robe tight around her.
"I'm coming Mallory." She says sleepily trudging down the hall towards Mallory's room.
"What's up?" She asks standing in the teenagers' bedroom doorway rubbing her eyes.
"CJ." Her voice calls again. Mallory isn't in her room.
"Mal?" CJ knocks gently on the adjoining bathroom door.
"I'm in here."
"Are you Ok, your not sick are you?"
"No." The hesitant voice comes back.
"Can I come in?" CJ asks cautiously.
"Yes." A tiny voice answers. As she pushes open the door carefully she finds Mallory perched on top of the toilet, knees to her chin and her long nightgown pulled down over her legs.
"Are you alright?" CJ sits on the edge of the tub next to her.
"I got my..." Mallory fades.
"You got your what?"
"I'm bleeding." Mallory whispers.
It doesn't occur to CJ as she looks for external cuts and grazes, when her eyes sweep over the discarded peach panties on the sink with the large stain she understands.
"You got your period Mal, welcome to womanhood." CJ smiles. "You want me to get your dad?"
"No." Mallory says forcefully gripping at CJ's hand.
"Do you have something?" CJ asks concerned Mallory's not coping with her bodies' changes.
"They're not here."
"Stay there, I have something." CJ says reassuringly.
"Thanks."
"You know what to do?" CJ asks when she comes back from raiding her bag.
"Yep."
"I'll be right outside." CJ promises shutting the door gently behind her.
"Ok."
"Your alright." CJ asks again when a mildly embarrassed Mallory immerges from her bathroom.
She nods adding "Thanks." quietly.
"Shall I drive you to Jenny's." CJ drops onto the corner of the bed.
"Please." Mallory shifts from foot to foot.
~*~
"Hey." Leo stops midway down the stairs as Mallory and CJ pull on their coats.
"Morning." CJ leans over the banister kissing him hello.
"What's going on?" He steps quickly to the bottom of the stairs.
"Mallory's going to Jenny's a little early this week." CJ explains as Leo's daughter inspects her shoes.
"Ok." Leo says confused and a little hurt.
"I'll explain when I get back." CJ promises.
"Don't I even get a kiss goodbye seeing as you're rejecting me?" Leo pouts.
"Love you dad." Mallory throws her arms around him.
"See you later in the week kiddo." He closes the door behind them.
~*~
"I'm just saying why couldn't she tell me." Leo puts down the paper as CJ pours coffee for herself.
"It's a girl thing Leo, she probably felt more comfortable with me."
"But it's not like I don't know about it, I mean there was Jenny and now you."
"What no sowing of wild oats in between?" CJ jokes.
He gives her the yes-very-funny look over his glasses.
"She doesn't know that, besides she didn't have anything...I did."
"Oh well aren't you just..." He smirks unable to think of a comparison.
"Your jealous." CJ realizes.
"I am not." He drops the paper off the edge of the bed. "I get jealous when we go out and every second man looks at you."
"Every second man." CJ raises her eyebrows.
"When you help Mallory when she gets her first period...I'm very grateful because you handled it better than I would have." he says seriously drawing her closer to him so he may show his appreciation.
"Hot coffee." She pulls out of his lip lock when she feels the breakfast tray beneath her move.
"Every man and some women." He teases.
"Looking at the menu but eating at home baby." She reminds him putting the tray on the floor and rolling herself into his arms.
"I like morning sex with you." He says after gradually drawing out of the passionate kiss.
"I like any sex with you." CJ smirks, initiating this time.
When the shrill ring of the phone interrupts them a couple of minutes later a collective moan meets its intrusion. After a dozen rings it becomes too much of a distraction and Leo grabs it before the caller gives up.
"It's for you." He gives the handset to CJ who can't imagine who could be calling her here.
"Hello." She says cautiously but is met with silence.
"I just wanted to ring and say thank you for helping Mallory this morning." The pleasant voice finally comes down the line.
"That's Ok." CJ sits up pulling the sheets around her watching Leo pull faces at her.
"I'm glad you were there because god knows what state she might have been in with Leo." Jenny continues.
"I couldn't agree more." CJ mouths don't to him. "I thought Mallory might have preferred to spend the day with you so I drove her over."
"I appreciate you doing that." Some of the hostility that often inadvertently comes from talking to your ex-husbands new girlfriend fades.
"It was no problem." CJ smiles over at Leo.
"Well I should let you go, thank you again CJ."
"Anytime Jenny." CJ says before handing the phone back to Leo.
"What did she want?" His face twisting with curiosity.
"To say thank you for this morning."
"What is it?" Unable to read the expression on her face.
"We might one day be friends."
~*~
"Are there any jobs going in this building." CJ looks around his office at the paintings on the wall.
"You can have mine." He says through gritted teeth as he signs another page.
"Pass." She flops in the visitor's chair.
"Are you about to be out of work?" He stops what he's doing.
"I was only on a short term contract, it runs out in two months." CJ explains.
"You'll find something." Leo taps his pen against the desk.
"MMmmm, well as of now I'm looking for something or someone to keep me here."
"I know a couple of senators..."
"We'll see." She cuts him off.
~*~
"You're going to ask her to marry you." Leo snaps the velvet box shut on his fingers in surprise, not realizing Margaret was standing next to the desk.
"Don't you knock?" He replies annoyed.
"It's beautiful." He watches his assistant admire the amethyst setting surrounded by diamonds.
"It's not...."
"A wedding ring." She finishes dryly.
"It's more of a..."
"Promise ring." Margaret finishes.
"You don't approve." He knows the look in her eye; it's the same one she'd used before she got to know CJ.
"I'm just saying you've been seeing each other for what...?"
"Twelve months." Leo fills in.
"You don't live together...a girl won't wait forever." His assistant turns on her heels and walks out.
~*~
"Hey." Her voice is distant over the phone when she calls later than afternoon.
"I miss you." He sighs.
"We need to talk." She brushes over the sediment.
"Sounds serious." Leo leans forward in his chair.
"It is, can you come round tonight for take-out?"
"I can't be there till eight." He curses silently the full day.
"It's Ok."
"I love you." He adds with something hopeful about his tone.
"Love you too." She says distantly before hanging up.
~*~
"You sounded serious over the phone." Leo picks at the meal in front of him; it's not reflection on the take-out, he's anxious to know what she has to say.
"I've been offered a job." She stands putting her untouched food in the bin.
"That's good." His own appetite gone.
"On the west coast." She drops the bomb.
"Where?" As if it matters, it's all a plane ride away.
"LA." She sighs turning to see the shock on his face.
"When do you start?" He asks quietly following her as she leads him into the living room.
"In two weeks, I finish Friday here and start Monday there." She sits opposite, facing him on the two-seater couch.
"You're leaving me." It's been almost a year and a half to the day since he's said those very words.
"It's not your fault."
"How can it not have anything to do with me?" He looks disbelieving at her.
"We don't want the same things right now."
"How could you possibly know that?"
"Leo you've only been divorced for a year and a half, I don't blame you for wanting to commit so soon, I'd be exactly the same...but I have to do this...for me."
"You want to get married and have kids tomorrow?"
"Leo you don't even have a grip on what went wrong in your last marriage, you came home and Jenny was leaving you, do you even remember why, what your role was in the breakup?"
"She spent all her time waiting." Leo recalls. Promise ring...a girl won't wait forever, Margaret's words roll inside his head.
"It goes deeper than that." CJ reaches for his hand.
"It can be different." Leo promises.
"There's not one thing of mine in your house Leo, you're not ready to get married again."
"Do you even love me at all?" A lone tear wells in his eye.
"More than anyone ever." She wraps herself around him on the couch and he holds her till the tears that soak through his undershirt subside.
~*~
"Hey Mal." Leo waves to Jenny in the car as she drives away.
"Give us a minute can you." CJ knows she owes Mallory the truth about her departure as much as she does Leo; the young girl has grown to love her, albeit in a different way to Leo.
The front door slams a couple of minutes later and then Mallory yells "What's wrong with you."
"Mallory." He cautions.
"Can't you get anything right, you stuff up everything, my mother and now CJ."
"I didn't stuff CJ up." Leo defends.
"I like her dad, she would have been the best stepmother and now she's going to California."
"It's something CJ has to do." Leo replies levelly.
"Why didn't you just ask her to live with you or something?"
"It's not that easy Mal." Leo says sadly.
"The hell it isn't...I want to go to California with CJ." Her heavy feet stomp up the stairs and her bedroom door swings closed with a bang.
"She didn't take it so well." CJ comes inside from the front step when peace is restored.
"She wants to go with you." Leo looks up where CJ stands next to the couch.
"There's no room in my suitcase."
~*~
"I would have taken you to the airport." Leo puts the last of CJ's luggage in the back of the cab.
"I might not get on the plane if you're there." CJ stands leaning against the car.
"I do love you CJ."
"I know I love you to." She brushes her lips quickly across his cheek before he sees her cry.
"Wait." He grabs her elbow, stopping her from ducking in the cab.
Pulling her into his arms he kisses her properly goodbye until she struggles with sobbing. With one last caress of the beard he's grown since she's told him she was leaving and one last look she gets into the cab and disappears.
~*~
When he arrives home he goes straight to the ring that he's had tucked away in his top drawer.
He lies on his bed clutching at the small velvet box and sheds his tears in private.
Later Mallory climbs next to him and hugs him.
~*~
"I'm here on instructions from Leo McGarry." CJ looks up at Toby in surprise.
"McGarry wants me." Her surprise not hidden, she hasn't spoken with him in years and this comes out of the blue.
"Yes, come join the campaign."
"Toby, does he know I've only ever worked state side, does he know I've never worked on a national campaign?" she spent twelve months sharing a bed with the man, she has to know if he's bringing her on board in the hopes of renewing something.
"Yes... it's graduation day."
~*~
CJ fiddles nervously at the amethyst necklace as she gets out of Toby's car outside the Bartlet for America headquarters. She feels conflicted about seeing Leo again, after all this time she hasn't settled and doesn't know what she's going to say.
She tucks it deeper inside her shirt not wanting Leo to see it and read anything into it.
"Hey you're back." A dark haired man looks up from what he's reading as they walk through the mess of desks and chairs.
"Sam, this is CJ Cregg, CJ this is Sam Seaborn." Toby introduces.
"Hey." Sam holds out a friendly hand, shaking it firmly then pulling a shocked CJ into a tight embrace. "Glad you decided to come."
"Have you seen Leo?" Toby asks when Sam releases CJ.
"In his office." Sam turns the page and keeps walking and reading.
~*~
He hasn't changed CJ notes when Toby shows her to the doorway, the same lines frame his face, and his hair is a little thinner on top she notices, as he stands bent over his desk. He's wearing the same pair of jeans he wore each weekend at home with her, though they're a little more faded now.
"Leo." Toby knocks gently, when Leo looks up at her, CJ's breath catches in her throat. She'd sometimes wondered how she'd feel if she saw him again and now she knows... it's strange.
"Thanks Toby." Leo says waiting for him to leave.
"Could you give us a minute?" CJ asks ignoring the strange look the request gets.
"How have you been, you look good." Leo comments when she sits in the chair opposite his desk.
"You too." CJ says quietly.
"Your hair's all wavy." He points to his own thinning hair.
"They're a little more relaxed in California."
"You're probably..."
"I've never run a national campaign." The say simultaneously.
"I know...but you're the right person." He sits opposite her.
"How's Mallory?"
"She's good, she's at university, a Master of teaching, Batchelor of Arts degree."
"Following in her mothers footsteps." CJ notes.
"She never did like me as much as Jenny after you left." CJ's body tenses, she was hoping he wouldn't dig up the past.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have bought it up."
"It's Ok it was a long time ago, I've dealt with it."
"Not married?" He glances at her ring hand.
"No." She barely says.
"Toby will help you get settled, I'll talk to you later." He ends the conversation before she has to feel any worse, leaving the office to go find Toby.
~*~
Later when CJ settles behind the desk she's likely to call home for at least a while, she runs her hands over the soft pine then pushes back into the depths of her chair.
For all the times she told herself she was over him, for all the times she told herself she didn't love him anymore, for all the times she told herself she had moved on from him...all those times her heart didn't listen.
The heart doesn't lie and despite what she has continually told herself, she still loves that man...always has, always will.
~*~
"What are you waiting for?" Margaret asks inaudibly later that week. Campaign headquarters are quiet everyone else has gone home. In front of Leo on his desk sits the small velvet box, the ring inside still shines like the day he bought it.
"I don't know if..."
"If she still loves you." Margaret's eyes roll.
"It's been a long time." He protests.
"You've only got to look at her to realize she still loves you."
"Really."
"Yes." Margaret sighs. "It's a wonder you were married for the first time." she shakes her head turning the lights in the office off around him.
"What are you doing?" He watches her tidy everything for the night.
"She's staying in the motel down the road."
"So?"
"So go." She stands at the door holding out his briefcase for him.
~*~
There's no answer at first when he knocks on her room door and he considers walking away without a fight...like last time.
Dressed in a baggy shirt and shorts he's taken off her so many times she rubs her eyes squinting in the bright light from the hall.
"I have something I wanted to tell you." He says confidently touching the ring box in his pocket as his source of strength.
"It's 1 am Leo."
"It's important." He says firmly.
"Ok." She leans against the door.
"Can I come in?"
"You want something to drink?" She holds open the door for him.
"No thanks."
"What is it Leo I've been having trouble sleeping?"
"For how long?"
CJ consciously avoids the questions hoping he'll let it drop.
"How long." He repeats.
"Since I moved to California, it's probably the weather or something." CJ brushes off.
"Since we split."
"No." She denies forcefully.
"It's all around the same time."
"That's not it." CJ flings her hands in the air.
"You find the bed is suddenly bigger than it is, you miss the arm around your body...it makes you feel safe. You find yourself reaching for someone who isn't there, the other half of the bed is cold when you put your foot over there..."
"Don't Leo." CJ pleads.
"Do you still love me CJ?"
"No." She answers gently, backing her statement with a shake of the head.
"Are you sure?"
"Leo getting over you is the hardest thing I've ever had to do..."
"I think you do."
"Jesus what is this, I don't Leo." Her voice rises.
"It's ok if you do because I still love you." He waits for a reaction.
"I don't." She whispers unconvincingly.
"You can't sleep at night..."
"I don't Leo." The crescendo of her voice rises.
"Sometimes you still look at me the way you used to."
"Leo this is crap." She yells desperate for a way out of this.
"CJ you're still in love with me and you don't even know it."
"Leo, I can't believe this, you come here in the middle of the night..."
"You still love me." Leo yells.
"I don't!"
"Say it CJ."
"Say nothing, I'm no longer in love with you." She screams.
"You are."
"I'm not!"
"You still wear the necklace I gave you for our six month anniversary and I'm betting there hasn't been a day when you've taken it off."
"You don't know that." She replies indignantly.
"Your still in love with me CJ."
"Leo I am not." Her voice gets lower, punctuating each word.
"Alright fine you're not."
"Exactly I'm..." CJ stops suddenly, Leo staring wide-eyed at her waiting for her to say what he wants her to. "I've always loved you." She finishes.
"I know." The smile spreading across his face.
"You tricked me into saying that." She sniffles.
"You were trying to trick yourself into not feeling." His head shakes in the negative slowly. "It's ok for you to say it was a mistake, leaving like you did."
"It wasn't a mistake."
"I wish you'd have come back before now though."
"So do I." She sighs falling onto the corner of the bed.
"Before you left I bought you something that I never ended up giving to you." Inside his pocket he runs his fingers across the soft material. "It was to be a promise, from me to you."
She looks up at Leo, waiting for him to go on.
"When you left I decided that I'd bought it for the wrong purpose... but now."
He pulls the tiny box from his pocket, opening it to reveal the sparkling ring and bending down on one knee.
"Will you marry me CJ?"
"You're asking me to marry you at a quarter past one in the morning?" The tears that roll down her cheeks are carefully brushed away.
"I should have done it years ago and stopped you leaving."
"I would have said yes, you know?"
"I know." He watches her trail the pad of her finger over the delicate setting.
"It's not terribly traditional." He apologizes, the knee he's leaning on starting to protest under his body weight.
"It's an amethyst I love it." Gingerly she picks it up from the box, looking at it resting in her lap.
"I knew you would."
"My answers still the same." Her eyes meet with his.
"Yes?" He confirms.
Leo watches her nibble at her bottom lip, tears building again as her head nods in affirmative. He barely hears her say I love you as she kneels down off the bed with him, wrapping him in a warm embrace.
"Will you forgive me for being a fool and making you wait so long?" His eyes shine as he slides the ring on her finger.
"It was worth the wait."