If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes
If Tomorrow Never Comes, Garth Brooks
If Tomorrow Never Comes
By: OurLoveIsForever
The moonlight was filtering in through the windows casting a blue hue to everything in the room. I lay on my side, watching her as she slept. I always thought it was weird that she could never sense me doing so. It was a peculiar thing; fit her well enough, seeing as how she is perhaps one of the strangest people I have ever met. All the same, I married her.
Her eyelashes brushed the tops of her cheeks as her eyes twitched with dreaming. I wondered momentarily if she was dreaming about me. That's just the same; I would guess I am just a handsome in her dreams. Her dark hair was strewn over the pillow, a lock falling on her broad forehead. It wasn't remarkable to some, but how I loved her hair. The way it shone in any light, the way it cast a halo about her head made me wonder how I had deserved her in the first place then only to remember that I didn't deserve her at all.
The fleeting thought crossed my mind, as I brought my fingers to brush her cheek, of what she would do if I were to die tomorrow. What would happen to her? Would she know how much I loved her?
It was a viable question, one that I often thought of since my father passed two years ago. He died not knowing that I loved him as a son should, still thinking that I held my youthful grudge for passed indiscretions. I didn't get a chance to tell him that I really did love him, even though love was termed as 'weak' in our family.
Since then, I made sure to tell Astoria as much as possible. She understood and reciprocated. Even so, each minute that passed meant I was drawing closer to leaving her. It was a thought that admittedly terrified me more than anything. Death itself scared me, but the thought of her being without me…
Scorpius could manage. I knew he could. The boy was too intelligent to allow his mother to be alone. That's not to mention that Astoria had many friends, but nonetheless…
"I love you." I whispered, feeling a bit foolish. As I grew up, feelings and the like were something that I didn't believe in. They didn't exist and when they reared their ugly, unwanted heads, I tucked them away into some chasm of my mind. I had become cold, indifferent and bitter at the end of the War. My life was a shell of what it once had been. I spent most of my time alone.
Astoria wasn't terribly emotional herself. Not like most women. She was hardened by war as well. She once told me that she didn't believe in anything, simply being alive and that most of the time even that had its drawbacks. Astoria was something that I couldn't completely understand when I was younger. She was cold, indifferent and bitter. The same as I, but regardless of that, she smiled and laughed. A feat that I simply couldn't manage all those years ago. It was mesmerizing, something that I couldn't even begin to comprehend. She was an enigma.
One single day, passing her during one of my few jaunts to a local bookshop led me to learn more of her. We conversed that day for the first time since we didn't know each other at Hogwarts. She smiled (a smile that did not reach her eyes, I had noted) and told me that the book I was asking for was in the back before moving along. It was unremarkable, the same as her at the time, I thought. She didn't look physically 'attractive' per say. She was average, at best, but as my mother had always told me: the eyes are the window to the soul. While her physical appearance was less than appetizing, her eyes were something completely different. I saw in those blue depths something that I had yet to see in anything besides my mirror.
Gently, I scooted closer, pulling her fingers into my own. I could feel the ring underneath my skin. I wondered for a moment if she would continue to wear it long after I left, if I died before morning. She very well could move on just as easily as Blaise's mother always had. By the time she hit sixty, she could have nine husbands. I took one look at her face before throwing the thought away. If she had the choice, she would die with me if it came to that. She always had been the loyal type. We Slytherins were loyal despite what some may think and Astoria was Slytherin through and through, only the best of the House.
I sighed deeply pondering just how much it would hurt her…
She would cry. Merlin knows I cannot stand her tears. They always make me want to punch something, resort to primitive muggle tactics of diverting anger.
She would be ripped asunder.
Then again, so would I.
If I were to leave, I would be leaving half of myself behind. The better half, for all intents and purposes. She really was the better half, perhaps, that was how Scorpius ended up being as perfect as he was. He was the combination of his mother and I. Though with simply my genes, he wouldn't have been far off from ideal. Add his mum into the mix…
Her chest heaved up and down a bit violently before her eyes fluttered open. I kept my eyes on her, waiting for her head to turn. Slowly, it did so. Astoria's blue eyes rested on mine once more. I felt completely at ease, so peaceful with life. "Why are you awake?" Her voice was soft from sleep.
I smirked slightly. "Just thinking that I'm not good enough for you."
"Contrary to what you said when you purposed, I believe." I shook my head a bit. Misinterpreted my words, she did. My purposal was certainly one of the best. All I mentioned was that it was hard to believe I woud marry her. "I think you had a bit too much brandy before bed." She yawned before settling her gaze on me once again. "Are you simply nervous perhaps?"
"I don't get nervous." It was the bloody truth. She rolled her eyes.
"I call your bluff, Mister Malfoy. Tomorrow will only come once. Don't screw up again. He would likely kill you."
I narrowed my eyes at her frankness and sighed, nodding my head. "It makes me feel old."
"You are old, love." She murmured, grinning. I almost said that she was old, too, but thought better of it. "In no time at all, you'll be a grandfather." Her hand come up to fiddle with my hair, running the long pieces through her fingers.
"Let's get through tomorrow first, shall we?"
"Oh, the wedding will be fine. Scorpius won't trip and make a fool of himself—"
"—Weaslette the Second is more likely to do that."
"—and everything is set. You and Ronald made this jinx happen, after all. I personally find it funny that you are in such a state about it." She giggled, leaning forward to peck a chaste kiss on my lips before momentarily tightening her grip on my fingers. "Love you." She murmured, slowly drifting off into sleep, her hand slipping from my hair. I watched, feeling my eyes growing heavy.
It didn't do well to dwell on such things, I thought. Slowly, I slipped away.
A/N: Just a little one-shot I was struck with after listening to the above song. I thought that this is around a forty year-old Draco. Yes, this is the night before Scorpius marries Rose. The end is a bit ambiguous, but he is still alive. Don't worry. I wouldn't do that to Scorpius and Astoria. Nope, not in my nature. I just think that by this time Draco has mellowed out.
Thoughts?