Title: You Can Never Go Back
Pairings: mostly L/B, hints of J/B and J/P
Disclaimers: The usual. I don't own these characters.
"Umm, Jake...can I talk to you for a minute?" she said, trying hard to not let her voice quiver. "Sure, but practice just ended and I'm pretty sweaty. Can you wait for me while I go catch a quick shower and change?" he asked. She nodded her head 'yes'. She sat down on a bench by the locker room and waited. What was she going to do? How could she even tell him? It took all her strength not to break down and cry right then and there. "Hey Brooke, what's up?" Peyton said as she approached her friend. Brooke nearly jumped out of her skin, she was so lost in thought she didn't hear her coming. "Whoa, it's just me. Why so jumpy? You missed practice, are you ok?" she asked. Brooke wanted to tell Peyton the whole story, but she just couldn't. "Umm, I felt sick after lunch so I went home," she said. It wasn't a total lie. She did feel sick after lunch—she had been feeling sick all day. Sick with guilt and disgusted with herself for what she was about to do. "Oh, so what are you doing here now? Waiting to talk to the coach?" Peyton asked. "Yeah, just waiting on the coach. This is probably going to take a while, but I'll call you later ok?" she replied. Peyton knew Brooke was hiding something, but she just shrugged it off and left. Brooke would talk when she was ready.
Just as Peyton left, Jake emerged from the locker room. "So, what did you need to talk to me about?" he said and he sat down beside Brooke. Her eyes welled up with tears, and he grabbed her hand—noticing that whatever she had to tell him was hard for her. "Ok, I'm just going to cut to the chase here. Jake, I—I'm pregnant," she said while staring at the floor. She couldn't look at him. She couldn't face him knowing that she was ruining his life in one way or another, but she would feel worse if she did what she was going to do without him ever knowing. Jake was so shocked he didn't even know what to say. He couldn't form the words even if he did. That is until he heard Brooke's voice and saw the tears falling from her eyes. "You hate me don't you? You have every right to. Don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone...and you don't have to worry about it. I just thought you should know," she said. Her voice sounded so small, and she looked so fragile sitting there. Brooke made a move to stand, but Jake stopped her.
"Hey, wait. Don't go," he started, "Brooke, I don't hate you. You didn't get in this situation alone. If it's anyone's fault it's mine. You were feeling vulnerable that night, and I thought I would be helping by sleeping with you. I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to take advantage of you like that. Listen, I'm not going to abandon you now. Don't worry about anything. I know we're not together, but I'll be here for you and the baby. We'll figure this out." This time it was Brooke who was speechless. No one had ever been so sweet to her before. No one had ever showed so much concern. She collapsed into his arms and sobbed. His kindness just made what she had to do next that much harder. He stroked her back comfortingly, waiting patiently for her crying to stop. "There's something else I have to tell you," she said once she was somewhat composed, "My parents found the pregnancy test. They made me tell them everything. They also said that I couldn't keep the baby. They wanted me to have an abortion, but since I'm not due until school's out, and I can hide it until then, they said I could give it up for adoption instead. If I don't agree to it they'll kick me out of the house. I just can't...I'm only 15 Jake. Please don't hate me, I'm so sorry." She began to sob uncontrollably again.
"Shhh, it's ok I don't hate you. I understand why you have to do this, but I don't want to lose my baby. We're kids, we can't make it on our own and your parents know that. I'm sorry they're doing this to you; you shouldn't have to deal with so much stress in your condition. I'll talk to my parents, maybe we can work something out where they adopt the baby," he said. She looked up at him and smiled slightly. It was a good idea and she hoped it would work out, but she became saddened again when she thought about what her parents said. "They said I can't ever see you again," she whispered, "so even if your parents adopt the baby, I can never be part of my own child's life." She began to cry again. Jake couldn't believe her parents could be so cruel to their own daughter. She was going through so much and all they did was tear her down. All he could do was hold her and try to provide as much comfort as he could, knowing that both their lives had been changed forever.
Brooke couldn't believe her eyes. This couldn't be happening...not now, not again. But there it was, as clear as a summer sky. "PREGNANT", in big bold digital letters. Wait, why was she upset? This wasn't high school all over again. She was a successful grown woman now. She owned and operated a small but lucrative jewelry boutique. Celebrities flocked to it, and she could barely produce enough supply to keep up with the demand. Most importantly, she wasn't seeking her parents' approval or permission anymore...and she was married to the love of her life. Still, she couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt knowing that she would live a happy life with this child while she had a daughter out there somewhere who didn't even know her name. "Mrs. Davis-Scott?" her assistant called, tapping lightly on the bathroom door "Are you ok?" "I'm fine Jamie, I'll be out in a minute," she replied. She sighed and straightened her clothes, back to work as usual.
Her coat, her keys, and her purse all hit the floor as she crossed the threshold of the large brownstone. Her shoes were the next to go, as she made her way to the den and flopped down on the sofa. She yelped as she felt the unexpected hands on her shoulders. "Lucas! You scared me!" she yelled. "I'm sorry baby. You look exhausted, long day at work?" he asked. "You don't know the half," she replied. He kissed the top of her head and began to knead her tense neck and shoulders. "Mmmm, that feels good. Would you mind using those magic hands of yours on my feet instead?" she whispered after a few minutes of massaging. "I'd be delighted to," he said as he took a seat on the coffee table in front of her and put her feet in his lap. She closed her eyes and melted into the cushions of the sofa, almost forgetting the life altering news she had for him. She was so beautiful; he couldn't take his eyes off of her. It was had to believe that only nine years ago, he was completely enamored with her best friend instead of her. "Brooke? Are you ok?" he asked as he watched her brow crease as if she were in deep thought.
She sighed. She didn't know why this was so hard for her. He was her husband, they were both successful and financially stable...he was a pediatrician and had his own practice, and she had her boutique. There was no down side...he would be ecstatic about becoming a father. She kept telling herself it was nothing like the last time. It was a different time and she was a different person. "I'm fine. It's just...I have to tell you something really important," she said. "What is it babe? Nothing bad I hope" he asked, abandoning the massage and sitting beside her on the sofa. "No, it's nothing bad. I just...don't know how to tell you. Wow this is nerve wracking," she said. "Listen baby, relax. I think I already know what you want to say. Gorgeous, are you trying to tell me you're pregnant?" he said.
He laughed softly at Brooke's wide-eyed stare. She was stunned. "How did you know?" she asked when she could finally get the words out. "Baby, we've been married for three years. I know your body like the back of my hand. I know when you're late," he said. "Well thanks a lot for not letting me in on the secret!" she yelled while playfully hitting him, "But really, how do you feel about this? I mean, is this something you want?" "Are you kidding me? There's nothing I want more," he said, placing a hand on her stomach. He moved in to kiss her, but was stopped by her yawning. "Come on," he said, getting up and scooping her into his arms, "let's get you up to bed. Do you feel like taking a bath with me first?" "Absolutely," she replied, burying her face in his neck. She felt so safe in his arms, like she didn't have a care in the world. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off her chest. She should have known it wouldn't last.
TBC...