Disclaimer: I do NOT own CSI. But I wish I did, then last nights episode would've been slightly different.
*WARNING: PART SPOILERS FOR 13x15 – Forget Me Not.*
Dedicated to all the broken hearted GSR fans.
I apologise if the writing is naff, it's been almost a year (I think) since I wrote something.
Separation
Dear Sara, he wrote, then sighed and placed his fountain pen down beside the A4 notebook. Sitting on his cot bed, he rubbed his tired eyes and thought for a long moment before growling and ripping the page from the book and throwing across the tent, attempting to hit the waste paper bin. Roughly, he rubs his eyes again and then runs his hands through his grey curly hair before picking up the pen again. For inspiration he looks towards the framed photo on the wooden trunk beside his makeshift bed. He smiles but feels hot tears pool in his eyes. The photo is of himself and his beloved: Sara. It was taken the day he arrived in the Jungle, the day he promised Sara he'd be hers forever.
He's unsure of how things changed so quickly; from finding her in Costa Rica, to making her his wife, to being happily married and now being separated. Things were going well between them; living apart was working for them. Until...Until their phone calls became fewer, their emails were practically non-existent, and their time together was months and months apart.
"What happened?" he whispers, staring at the photo with all the love he has.
He started to write again.
My darling Sara,
I know this hard for you; for us, but believe me, I have your best interests at heart. You deserve more than a part time husband. I'm sorry. More than anything I want us to be together but... but I admit it is hard to be apart for the lengths of time we have been recently. You deserve someone in your life full time, someone who will be there for you twenty four hours a day. Believe me, I do want to be that person but after everything that happened whilst I was in Vegas, I'm hoping you can understand why I'm not ready to move back there, not just yet. Separation is the very last thing I want but I can't see any other way in which we can be happy.
Remember I'll always love you, Sara. I'll call you soon so we can talk, decide what happens next. I do love you, I always will.
Gil.
Again he growled, this time throwing his pen across the tent. This isn't want he wants, and he knows it isn't what Sara wants, but it has to be this way. Their last conversations were strained, it felt like they'd drifted apart so much that they were like complete strangers, making small talk just to sound friendly. He wants her to be happy, happy like she was when they were together. Her smile was wide, so real, it made his heard heart melt everytime he looked at her. But the last time they were together, he knew her smile was forced, covering her sadness and loneliness. And that hurt him more than anything. He knew it was tough on her, them being apart, it was hard on him too, but neither of them talked about their feelings and that's why things have turned out this way.
He reaches down to the ground and picks up his bottle of water, taking a long swig he relishes in the icy cold liquid and, for a second, he thinks about pulling out the expensive bottle of Whisky that Sara surprised him with a few visits ago.
He then re-reads the letter he's just wrote and finds smudge marks and messed up writing, he realises his hands are shaking slightly and his cheeks are damp, from the tears he was trying so hard to hold back. Shaking his head in frustration he takes another drink from the bottle and decides to type up the letter and email her.
A few minutes later, after a few adjustments, the email is all ready to be sent. The cursor hovers over the send button for a long time before he plucks up the courage to click on it.
Finally, it's sent.
He feels as if the wind has been knocked out of him. Resting his elbows on his thighs, and his head in his hands, he takes some deep breaths and hopes that things will work out. He hope that fate will continue to be on his side and eventually bring him and Sara back together and closer than ever.
The End