Nothing can truly prepare you for a moment like this. Nothing can prepare you for the moment when you feel as though your whole world is crashing down around you and theres nothing you can do to stop it.
Our entire lives we are surrounded by death on a daily basis, we are constantly hearing about the death of a fellow guardian, or the slaughter of an innocent moroi. So we are always on guard, always prepared for the worst.
Its not something you can ever really get used to, sure you can distance yourself, and sure you can try and remind yourself that its not so bad because it wasnt you, it wasnt someone you really knew, it wasnt your family...
But what happens when it is?
Ive been through it once before...
I was distraught when I learned all those years ago that Ivan had been killed. I blamed myself, if I hadnt gone away, if I had stayed then I could have made a difference, he might still be here... Granted that he was the one who told me I had to go, he literally forced me to take a holiday to visit my family but still... If I hadnt gone maybe I could have saved him, I would have protected him, I would have given my life for his. He should be the one alive, he should still be here...
His death had crushed me, It had changed me. I no longer saw joy in the little things, I saw death everywhere, danger everywhere. It hurt, the pain of his death was like nothing I had known before, I had honestly never experienced that kind of pain before...
Untill now...
But this... somehow... This is a thousand times worse. This is the sort of pain where you can feel your heart literally shattering, and crumbling, turning to dust inside your chest. Like a million knives stabbing you in the chest.
,The whole situation slowed to a crawl... In fact it seemed like The whole world slowed... The bodies that littered the ground, both familiar faces and strangers... Moroi and dhampir, seem to outnumber the strigoi laying scattered in the large hall. Not one step can be made without bumping into someone...
The scene seemed to hit me like a brick just as a pair of cold hands wrapped around my biceps, yanking my arms behind my back stopping me from being able to get any further than I am.
"Youre not going anywhere Belikov." a harsh, male voice growls low in my ear.
Individual battles can be heard all around me, the grunts and groans, fists hitting flesh, the occasional scream that suddenly cut off as yet another life, or undead life, is taken... But my attention is focused on the fight directly infront of me. The fight that I would give anything to jump into right now...
"Theres nothing you can do but watch. Watch as your pretty little dhampir is taken from right infront of you."
A feral growl rips up my throat as I tear my arms from his grip. Nobody can take my Roza from me, not like this. As my arms slip out of his grasp I manage to launch myself foreward
One step
Two steps
"Roza!" her name errupts from my lips, I can see the wariness and the exhaustion on her face even from this distance. All I want is to reach her, to push her behind me and protect her. I push my aching legs faster.
Three steps
Four steps
Arms circle around my neck, I instinctively whip my arm around, stake in hand as I scrape the hard silver metal down his side. His grip around my neck loosens but not enough for me to get out of. Before I can strike again An intense burst of pain shoots through my other arm as its ripped behind my back. I hear a distinct snap and cant stop the cry of agony as I feel the sharp pain coursing through my body.
He forces me down onto my knees.
'Theres nothing you can do Dimitri. All is lost... give up...
The words swirl around my mind, I squeeze my eyes closed. No. I wont give up, I cant give up. Shes mine, they cant take her like this. They cant take her from me... they cant...
Flashback, 3 hours before
"mmm Comrade, do we have to go? Im comfortable right here." her voice was soft, a murmur against the bare skin of my chest where her head rested comfortably.
Truthfully I was comfortable too, completely content to lay here with my Roza on our bed for the rest of the night, sadly though, I knew we couldnt.
"Roza we have to go, we have a job to do, Lissa and Christian are both going so we will be on duty."
I chuckled as I felt the small rumble of a growl escape her lips before she sighed dramatically and lifted her head to look at me.
I was instantly entranced by her gorgeous brown eyes as they held mine. I lifted my hand and ran it through her silky dark brown locks, the hair that I absolutely adored.
I could see a sparkle of mischief in her eyes as her lips lifted into a breathtakingly beautiful smile. I swear she is the most beautiful women I have ever met... And shes all mine.
I returned her smile before pulling her lips down to mine. "I love you Roza, so much." I murmured cupping her cheeks in my hands. Even when I had all of her, it was never enough. I would never get enough of Rose. She was everything to me, my life, my love, my whole world.
"I love you too Comrade. Always." she brushed her lips against mine once more before groaning and lifting herself up and off the bed. I missed the feel of her skin against mine instantly.
I couldnt help but watch her as she moved around the room, pulling clothes out of the drawer and moving towards the bathroom. She paused for a second and turned back to look at me before smiling again.
An hour later we were both dressed in our formal black guardian attire and had made our way to Lissa and Christians apartment.
"Whats the bet they arent even ready yet." Rose grumbled as we knocked on the door and waited.
"Roza, you know I wouldnt bet you." I chuckled, tapping a finger gently against her forehead, "It just wouldnt be fair to me, not when its about Lissa."
She grinned cheekily at me and leaned up on her tip toes and pressed a kiss against my lips just as the door swung open.
"Ahem" Christian cleared his throat as Rose growled under her breath.
"Christian." I nodded to him in greeting as he opened the door wider so we could enter. He had accousted me many times for calling him anything other than Christian. His exact words had been "Dude, we're friends now, enough with the Lord Bullcrap ok?"
"Hey Sparky." Rose greeted him before she headed off to where I presume Lissa was still getting ready in the bedroom.
"Honestly Belikov... How do you put up with that?" Christian remarked once Rose was out of ear shot. I chuckled but didnt reply, I loved Roses sense of humour and the way she was always causing trouble, it was what made her Rose Hathaway.
Another half an hour later and the four of us made our way to the main hall of Court to where the formal gathering was being held.
It was really just a dance for the royals, a chance to get dressed up and drink. Members from all the royal families would be there, as well as those from other families.
Everything had been going fine, all of the moroi were dancing and having fun, while guardians observed and scouted.
Protecting, always protecting.
Even though we had the wards to keep out strigoi we still kept on high alert... And it turned out that tonight was a good night to be like that.
I instantly knew something was wrong when Rose stepped out of the line. It was guardian protocol to stand against the walls, seeing but not seeing.
Her eyes were wide and her mouth opened, as she flicked her gaze to me I could see panic and fear, her hand gripped her stomach and before I could utter a single word she screamed.
"Strigoi!"
The entire room froze for barely a second before all hell broke loose. To confirm Roses warning the ward sirens started blaring, people started screaming and chaos errupted as guardians rushed towards their charges.
I made it to Roza in a couple of strides and as I wrapped my arm around her waist she straightened herself up only slightly.
The look in her eyes when she looked up at me was like nothing I had ever seen on her face. "Theres so many... So many...Lissa!? Wheres Lissa!?" She whipped her head around in search of the petite blonde moroi.
"Dimitri! Rose!"
I turned to the voice of my charge, Christians tone was worried but firm. He held a scared Lissa in his arms, her jade green eyes wide and fearful.
As though finally seeing her charge clicked something in Roses brain, she straightened and whipped her stake out of its holster. "Christian, take Lissa and get her into the Queens chambers, its extra warded and she has extra guardians."
His eyebrows knotted together but he nodded and started leading Lissa out of the room.
"Rose! What about Rose!" Lissa cried, tears falling from her eyes now as she pleaded with Christian to stop.
"Ill be fine Liss, Ill see you soon." Rose said firmly, her eyes locking with Lissas. Lissa stared at her for a moment before nodding gently and racing from the room with Christian.
Rose turned to me once they were out of sight, "Looks like tonights going to get interesting." she forced a smile.
I knew from her initial warning and reaction that this was bad. There had to be lots of strigoi for her to have been affected by their pressence before they even reached the wards... Not to mention the fear and panic I had seen in her eyes...
"Be careful Roza." I spoke gently, trying to convey how much I loved her with my eyes.
There were shouts and screams from outside right before the doors burst open.
"You too Comrade." Rose breathed just as she rushed at the strigoi entering through the door closest to her. I spared her one last pained glance before leaping into a battle of my own.