A/N: Jak & Daxter + Discord + overtired giggles = this. It's dedicated to HeroismInACan for encouraging the absurdity.
Eyes closed, body stretched out the entire length of the sofa and head resting on the blue-haired beauty's lap, Jak enjoyed the sensation of having her soft fingers stroking his forehead and passing through green-blonde locks. Having spent the last half-hour in this position, her legs were getting a tad numb, but she didn't care all that much – anything to relax with him.
"Taryn?" His voice emerged thick and slurred from drowsiness. Emerald expectantly gazed into cerulean, so he continued. "Tell me more about the Kid. Y'know, how you used to look after him."
"You mean you?"
"Yeah. Me. Whatever. You know what I mean."
She smirked. "Wondered when you would ask. Let's see…the first time we met, you gave me one of those big-eyed, buggy stares. And the 'dog certainly didn't trust me. Next time, 'though, I actually got to look after you. I'd never cared for a kid before, thought it would be tough – impossible, even – but you were a happy little thing. Got you drawing, fed you, fed the pet. Read stories a few times-"
He couldn't help curiosity getting the better of him and interrupted. "What'd you read?"
"Green Eggs & Ham, Cat In The Hat, Horton Hears A Who…for some reason, you had a thing for those books. Used to trace the words with a finger. I think you were trying to talk, because your mouth would open and close as I read."
"Was I adorable?"
"You betcha." Taryn bent down and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose. He wrinkled it in response, cheeks turning a deep shade of pink. "Still are."
"All the time?"
"Well, now you mention it…I did have to change him now and again. I'll tell you now that was one part I didn't enjoy."
A soft smile formed on Jak's face. To think she cared for his young, innocent self in so many ways…
Wait. His mind had a sudden brainwave and an astounded expression crossed his features. "You wiped my ass?"
Her optics widened. "That's the part you're focusing on?"
"Well…yeah."
There was no suitable response she could offer, apart from imitating a goldfish.
Impatient, he decided to push. "Did you?"
Memory wiped clean from shock, she only half-heard the query. "Did I what?"
He swallowed, not particularly keen on repeating himself. "…wipe my ass?"
A series of muttered curses came from her lips, including several words he never heard before, leaving him wondering where she picked up such vulgar language. The answer quickly came – Jinx. More than anything, however, Jak wanted his question answered.
Taryn frowned at his insistent mien. "Yes, okay? I wiped your butt and made it clean as a whistle. Satisfied?"
After a moment of pondering, he nodded.
She let out a sigh and shook her head, then stared directly into his eyes. "You know when I said you could ask me about the Kid anytime?"
"Yeah?"
"I take it back."
The blonde chortled, so she roughly shoved him. He lost his balance and accidentally rolled off the sofa, landing on the floor with a surprised cry and thump; she covered her mouth with both hands to muffle the laughter.
Well, he deserved it.
A/N: Apparently Dr. Seuss exists in the Jak & Daxter world. XD