It was the day after the Jellicle ball. Grizabella had gone to the Heaviside Layer, Old Deuteronomy had returned, and Tugger was bored. That's right; the one and only Rum Tum Tugger was bored. Tugger did a quick glance a crossed the junkyard. The kittens were staring at him; he winked in their direction and all let out a simultaneous sigh, Pounce and Tumble were pouncing and tumbling, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer had just come in looking a bit too innocent, and Mistoffelees was sitting by himself. Tugger walked up to Misto.

"Misto- now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project." Mistoffelees looked up at Tugger

"You really don't have to do that"

"I know. That's what makes me so nice!" Tugger smiled down at Mistoffelees. Then started to sing.

"Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I
And let's face it - who isn't less fortunate than I?
My tender heart tends to start to bleed"

Although he was no Kristen Chenoweth, Tugger wasn't that bad at singing.

And when someone needs a makeover
I simply have to take over
I know, I know

Tugger held up a hand to silence Mistoffelees from what he was about to say.

exactly what they need
And even in your case
Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face
Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead, and yes, indeed
You will be

Popular! You're gonna be popular!
I'll teach you the proper pose
When you talk to queens
Little ways to flirt and bounce
Ooh! I'll show you what collars to wear
How to mess your fur
Everything that really counts

To be popular
I'll help you be popular!
You'll hang with the right cohorts
You'll be good at sports
Know the slang you've got to know
So let's start 'cause you've got an awfully long way to go

Don't be offended by my frank analysis
Think of it as personality dialysis
Now that I've chosen to be come a pal
A brother and adviser, there's nobody wiser

Tugger hugged Misto to hold him in place while he sang.

Not when it comes to popular -
I know about popular
And with an assist from me
To be who you'll be
Instead of dreary who you were, well, are
There's nothing that can stop you
From becoming popu-ler. LAR!
La la la la ... We're gonna make you popular

At this point Mistoffelees was trying to escape the singing Tugger, but it was in vain. It was just too funny to watch Tugger prance around, very badly, almost tripping over his tail.

When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features
I remind them on their own behalf
To think of celebrated heads of state
Or specially great communicators
Did they have brains or knowledge?
Don't make me laugh!

They were popular! Please -
It's all about popular!
It's not about aptitude
It's the way you're viewed
So it's very shrewd to be
Very very popular like me!

With Tugger's high pitched laugh, Mistoffelees wondered how much catnip Tugger had eaten before coming to find him.

"This is never going to work" complained Misto.

"Misto" Apparently Tugger had a 'brilliant' idea. He was bouncing around like a monkey in front of a banana tree, with sound effects.

"Your whole life is going to change, all because of me. Let me show you how to thrust your hips! You just reel back, and push forward. Reel and forward. Or had hand gestures. Use your whole body. Get in to it, the ladies love it."

Mistoffelees tried the pelvic thrust. He did worse than Tugger but considerably better than other cats attempts (Pouncival).

"Stand, I will now transform your little white bib into a mane. Mane! Mane!" Since Mistoffelees thought Tugger was trying to do magic he asked.

"Do you want me to try?" He said utterly confused. Tugger didn't have magic!

"No, Etcetera was supposed to bring a clip on mane."

"Like yours?"

"NO! Mine is real. Awww, just wear the bib, it's pretty." And now for the finishing touch."

Tugger messed up Mistoffelees head fur a bit, with something that looked oddly like gel.

"Why, Mr. Mistoffelees, look at you. You're a ladies tom." He handed Misto a mirror. Mistoffelees peered into it .He looked the same except for crumple fur and a curl exactly like Tuggers. He stared in horror at the curl.

"I - I have to go." He said before running to his den with his head bent down.

"You're welcome!

And though you protest your disinterest
I know clandestinely
You're gonna grin and bear it
Your new found popularity

Just not as quite as popular as me!"

Just then Ectetera ran in carrying a fake clip on mane that looked a lot like the one Tugger himself was wearing.

"Sorry…I'm…late." She gasped. The maine coon sighed.

"So, were did Jerrie find the fake mane?"

"In your den….why?"