I am proud of this fic.. I hope you love reading this, as much as I did writing it!
Please read and review.
Disclaimer: If it was mine, Kenshin would have never died, and Kaoru would have been happier…
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I remember the day he died like it was yesterday. I remember every single last detail of his death. Of my grieving mother, sobbing over her husband.
My question: Why?
I knew there had to have been a definite love somewhere, but I never saw it. Except for when I was really young, and we'd go out together. All 3 of us. Then we were happy.
Then, we were a family.
In truth, I hated my father. Perhaps hate is a strong word, but that was how I felt. He left us alone. Us, as in my mother and I.
I figured if he could leave, so could I. So I did.
I had my own agenda; my own things I needed to do. And I did them. I did all I had set out to do.
But he…. He died… That bastard… he died.
I found myself crying over his death. Perhaps I hadn't hated him as much as I thought I had.
Mother was sobbing. She had been every day for the past week. His returning brought her so much joy. His death, I firmly believe, brought her the same joy.
He was finally happy, to be dead. He no longer had to live with his sins.
But he didn't realize that his biggest sin was to leave us. Why did he leave? I just didn't understand. We were both going to have to live with that for a long time. Forever.
She placed a hand on my shoulder. I didn't turn to face her. I was a man; she couldn't see me cry.
She didn't seem to mind. She seemed to understand.
"I wish…. I wish you had known your father…" She said, gasping for breath.
"Yeah….. I do too, mother… I'm sure he was such a great man…" My reply was sarcastic, almost monotone.
"Kenji…. Don't hate him…. Please….That is the last thing any of us want. Live in the memory of the good times.. Please, Kenji…. " Her tone was begging, but I tried to block her out.
But I couldn't. She really wanted me to see the good in him. She knew the man I had always wanted to know. She knew my father, before he blocked out the world. Before he depressed himself and left for the war.
"I'll try, mother……but it's going to be difficult…." I moved to stand, removing her hand with my own. "I'm going to make you some tea….You need to relax." I walked out of the room, sliding the shouji door behind me.
Kaoru laid down on the futon, wanting it all to end.
"Why?" She asked the air. "This was meant to be…. Why did you torture Kenshin? Kenji? Myself?" She began to sob again, as I brought the tea inside.
I realized that day, my mother would find the same fate as my father. Could she ever be happy without him? Would she drive herself into depression? Madness?
Only time would tell.