A/N: since i had no internet for a week, i couldn't post my DP Angst Day entry on time! but here it is now. and it's kinda lame, sorry guys. i wanted a character death and enemy comfort fic, but it turned into this crap. sorry. review anyway. P:
It began cheerful enough: a class field trip his senior year to NASA for science class. Danny Fenton was ecstatic about it. His reason: his love for space and desire to be an astronaut. And, since he's the hero of the entire world from immanent doom by an anti-ghost matter asteroid, he was allowed to be first on board the trip.
It seemed that since that disastrous day, everything had been going wonderfully; less villains lurking about due to some sort of Ghostly Alliance (similar to the one on Christmas), no indication of Vlad returning to the planet he tried to be king of, and nearly everyone accepting that Danny is a hybrid of the natural and supernatural. To top it all off, Sam was always by his side, and Tucker was still the mayor of Amity Park. Life at the moment appeared impossible to turn sour.
Yet on this trip to Florida where the headquarters lay, a bad omen arose and unnerved Danny: his sister Jazz was going to accompany them on the trip. She had flown through college in a few short years, taking on triple classes and doing homework like a madwoman. She was genius enough and determined enough to get through it, too. And so now she was getting jobs in small places and working her way up. Currently, she was an understudy – an apprentice, if you will – at NASA. 'You always talked about being an astronaut, so I thought I might get in on it and be a scientist there. Later on I'll probably dump it for something else, but for right now…' And there you go. The studious redhead was now going to be at the exact place her brother was headed. Not that he disliked his sister; he loved her very much and always appreciates what she does for him, but… well, if you have siblings, you understand.
Anyhow, it was on this class field trip that the uttermost life changing event for Danny (besides getting his ghost powers) occurred. Unfortunately, it wasn't the life changing event of becoming an astronaut like he dreamt of. No, it was something else entirely…
- - -
"Danny, would you stop bouncing around? I'm trying to read…" Sam asks gently.
But I can't stop; I'm too excited! The only other time I've been to the NASA headquarters was that summer we had to chase Freakshow all over the place for the jewels that made up the Reality Gauntlet. So now that we're finally here out of pleasure and not stress or pain, I can't help but feel like I'm going to burst.
In the bus seat behind me, Tucker is messing with his new PDA that he got for his eighteenth birthday. He's obsessed with it. Every so often he'll go, 'look what I just found it does!' or 'hey, you'll never guess what this has on it!' or 'I got such-and-such game on this thing!' I mean, Tuck's my friend, but he's getting extremely annoying. I want to rip that PDA out of his hands and turn it permanently intangible so he can't touch it anymore.
Which is something I found out I can do! I was wondering how Dan, my evil older self, could make that Time Medallion intangible inside me without keeping his hold on it. After a lot of practice, I discovered how to do stuff like that. And like Technis, I figured out how to make multiple objects float or fly around at once without me touching them. It's pretty handy; for everyday stuff and ghost fighting.
"We're nearly there," the bus driver calls from the front of the bus.
I nearly squeal. Because of the time slot Casper High picked out for our graduating class's tour, we get to see a shuttle launch today. It's going to be so cool!
Once we arrive, they tell us to split into groups of six. It's funny how high school works; your freshman and sophomore years you can be enemies with someone, but then in your junior and senior years you can be best friends with those people. Case in point: Dash Baxter. The guy used to tease the hell out of me, like my own personal bully, but once I exposed my secret to the world, he's like my best friend and personal body guard. And then there's Paulina and her friend Star; I used to like Paulina, bur she was only interested in my other identity, Danny Phantom. But when she heard the news about he and I being the same person, suddenly she and Star are at my lunch table, talking to me and laughing at everything I say. It's weird. So when they told us to go in groups of six, those three joined Tucker, Sam and I.
Automatically, Dash points to my sister. "Is that your sister Jazz? I think it is! Hey, let's be in her tour group!"
I groan and roll my eyes. "Let's not," I say. It'd be too embarrassing.
"Come on, Danny…" Tucker tries to coax by nudging me in the ribs with his elbow.
I sigh. Even Paulina is giving me puppy eyes. "Yeah, come on, 'cause we got to decide before someone else gets her as their guide!"
Star lends her opinion. "She's the only person we know; it'd be a lot better if we had her to explain everything to us…"
I look to Sam. "What do you think?" I ask her.
She doesn't stop to even think a minute. She glances up from her book, grabs hold of my hand, and smirks. "I think it'd be best. She won't do anything to embarrass you," she adds, reading my mind.
Defeated, I nod my head. I guess it can't hurt.
Dash silently cheers and Paulina and Star look relieved. Tucker shoves his PDA into his pocket and Sam stows her book in her backpack. I steal a glance at my watch. The launch will be in forty-five minutes. Awesome.
We walk over to my sister and she smiles brightly at the six of us. "Hey, you guys!"
"Hey Jazz!" Tucker waves.
"'S up?" Dash greets.
"Hey chica," Paulina winks. "How'd college work out for ya?"
"I plowed through it. But we can talk later. Right now, I have to lead you through the parts of NASA open to the public before we watch the launch!" Jazz tells us. She comes near me and leans down; I haven't grown much, so she's still a bit taller than me. "Excited to be here, little bro?"
I shrug, playing it cool.
She laughs and pushes my shoulder. "Don't dumb down your excitement, I know you've been dying to come here and are uber jealous that I got a job here."
I look down at the ground. "Okay, so maybe I am." I smile and look back up, my nerves getting the best of me, making me jumpy again. "I'msopumpedthatwegettoseealaunchit'sgoingtobetotallyamazing!" I say as fast as I can.
Yeah, I'm spazzing, I know; but I dunno, space really interests me. Everything about it… the training, the glory, the experience. I thought my excitement would dull down after having visited space once or twice as a ghost, but it hasn't. Because, I realize, I want to do things the right way: human, in a spacecraft, and everything else. Oddly, the Ghost Zone holds the same interest, since it's like a different kind of space to explore. But after so many trips, and after having the map Frostbite let me borrow, I know it back to front like I know my own hand. But the universe around Earth… that's limitless. And I can't wait to be up in that oblivion.
Jazz giggles at my rushed speech and waves a hand. "Alright, let's get this show on the road! First up…"
The tour lasts the full forty-five minutes. I can't believe all the things we've seen; but I have to say, my favorite part was the control room. There are so many monitors and buttons in that room…
"Danny," Sam whispers as we head for the viewing station for the shuttle launch.
"Hmm?" I ask, distracted. I keep smiling and staring ahead of me. That shuttle is enormous! And they modified it from the older shuttle models, to make them more efficient. It's sleeker and sturdier, and has a bunch of inner improvements that we only witnessed in diagrams in one of the rooms behind us.
"I have to go to the bathroom, and I don't see Jazz anywhere. So can you help me find it?" Sam says lamely. I can tell she doesn't like feeling ignorant, which is one of the reasons why she's whispering. My girlfriend is funny that way; she's a bit prideful in the sense that she gets embarrassed when she doesn't know things. Or angry. Depending on what she doesn't know.
"But I don't' want to miss the launch…" I complain. "I bet Tuck could take you."
She frowns. "Fine," she grunts. She begins walking away stiffly.
"I'll make it up to you!" I call, feeling guilty. But not guilty enough to pry myself away from this launch-to-be. I know that sounds completely selfish, but I get pretty selfish at times. And since this could be my future, this is one of those times.
The countdown begins. I bit my lip and brace myself, my brain counting down along with the voice over the speakers.
"Ten…
"Nine…
"Eight…
"Seven…
"Six…
"Five…
"Four…"
I hear voices and see movement on the other side of the shuttle, out on the pavement. I can't tell what's going on, but I don't have time to care. Because the voice is still counting.
"Three…
"Two…
"One…
"Ignition.
"Blast off!"
The engines roar. Embers glow white-hot red beneath the metal and blackish-grey smoke spews from all angles. A plume of smoke as wide as a decently-sized house drifts into the air, the shuttle at the top of it. It soars like a bullet, perfectly straight, up and out of the atmosphere.
And all I can do is gape in awe. It's… it's… indescribable.
The senior class is cheering, but then I hear shouts in the background. They sound more frantic, and I curiously look around to see what the distant ruckus is about.
Suddenly, half the class is shouting and looking terrified instead of joyous, and I'm stuck wondering what's going on. Dash comes pushing towards me in the crowd. Last I checked, he separated from out group to get a soda before the launch.
When he reaches me, his face is white and stricken. "Fenton… oh, shit, Danny…" he's murmuring.
I frown at him. "What is it?"
"Your sister, dude! Didn't you see the launch?!"
"I was right here watching it the while time! And what do you mean, my sister?" I snap. I feel a pressured panic rise in my chest, smearing my innards and crushing them like a metal balloon inflating.
I se something rare, then: Dash starts crying. "She's dead, man… she's dead."
And I fall apart.
- - -
…But it had ended destructively. Whilst looking for a bathroom, Tucker and Sam wondered too far off base and too close to the lethal flames and fumes of the launch. Jazz had seen, and shouted at them to get away. But they didn't hear her. So, acting quickly, she ran to dive and save them. But she herself got burned and inhaled too much of the smoke, immediately killing her. Sam and Tucker were too shocked to even comprehend what happened until the smoke cleared and they saw. They had screamed for help and when it came, the news spread quickly.
And when it had reached Danny…
- - -
I can't breathe. I fall to my knees, and Dash catches me before I hit the ground. "Danny?" he asks, genuine worry in his tone. If I my heart wasn't aching and tears weren't strangling my vocal cords, I would've answered him. But I just can't seem to move, or do much of anything.
Slowly, thoughts come to mind. The first being, 'why couldn't I have save her?' I'm practically a superhero or something, so why couldn't I have gone ghost and flown to her in time and carry them away? Or, hell! Why couldn't I have turned them intangible from afar so they wouldn't get hurt?
Then the answer came to me: because you didn't know. I was so centered on the launch that I didn't bother. But those first few shouts should have warned me. In retrospect, they sounded like Jazz.
It feels like days pass before I'm able to stand without Dash's support, and when I realize that Sam and Tucker, with weeping faces, are near me. And that we're next to the busses to go home. I hadn't even noticed that Dash had carried me… which in itself seems odd.
"We phoned your parents," Tucker informs me, his voice cracking every now and then. "They told us to. They said it'd be best if someone close to the parents of… their employee… called them and gave the news."
Sam's holding herself together with her thin, pale arms, and her short dark hair is hanging around her head like impassible curtains. I can't even see her face. But she's sobbing something to me, and after some thought, I understand her words. They were: "Your mom was crying. Jack was the one who talked to us, and I could hear him holding back tears. He kept sniffling. We didn't know how to break it to him… we were still crying… but he heard us. And he says he's coming here, and that we should wait for him, and not go back to the school."
My voice is still lost, so I merely put my arms around her and cry with her. My sister… Jasmine Fenton… the brainiac so rightly nicknamed 'Jazz' for her spunk and supporting attitude, who even after college sleeps with an stuffed Albert Einstein look-alike named Bearbert, a girl who always matches her headbands with her shirts and constantly has advice for people to take… is gone. She's gone. I almost lost her once already when Dan tried to blow everyone dear to me to smithereens at the Nasty Burger! So why, why do I actually have to lose her, only four years later?!
Sure, she's embarrassing sometimes and annoying and overprotective, but she's my older sister for goodness sake! She's supposed to be like that. But… after all we've been through… and the fact that she is my sister… I love her. I accept every little detail that makes up Jazz, no matter how annoying. The same goes for Sam, too, I guess, but that's a different story.
Speaking of Sam, I think it's because of her that I start calming down. Her hair is close to my nose, and I can smell her shampoo. It's not floral or fruity like most girls'; it's rich and musky, matching perfectly her gothic style of clothing and makeup. I guess some of my calm is coming from the fact that my eyes are hurting too much to cry any longer, but whatever.
"It wasn't her time," I hear Sam whispering to herself. "It shouldn't have been her time. Why now? Why?!"
Time. That words flashes across my head and I go rigid in Sam's arms. She feels the change and pulls away to stare at me.
"Danny…?"
"Clockwork," I say so fiercely it's like I've said a swear word. Sam's purple eyes blink at me. Slowly, I see her expression shift. She makes a silent 'o' with her mouth.
Then we're moving. We don't even stay for my parents. We find Jazz's car and hotwire it with Tucker's help. And then we're driving to a marsh somewhere south of the NASA base where I know a portal to the Ghost Zone will open up sometime soon. I remember this spot because I thought it was convenient; near NASA and a beach. If I ever wanted to hop into the Ghost Zone and appear anywhere in the world I wanted to, I should remember that portal because of the beach and NASA. So I did, and I'm glad I did, because we need to go see Clockwork a.s.a.p.
I see it glowing green, a swirl just wide enough in the bog to fit two thin people through. But if we jump in one at a time, we can all go. I'm the first one out of the moving vehicle and into the slopping wet, mosquito-infested area. "Danny, wait!" Tucker tries to say, but I'm not listening. I need to see Clockwork! There has to be a way to reverse this… plus, I want to ask him why, in his right mind, did he let my sister die, after all I've done to help him?
I leap into the portal and hear Sam and Tucker scurrying behind me. I phase into my ghost form the second I see the entirety of the Ghost Zone. Soon, I have Sam and Tucker grabbing hold of me, and we're flying through the abyss at my top speed, which has gotten to be about one hundred miles per hour in this past year.
Twenty minutes later, I find the floating mass known as Clockwork's hideout. I land inside and storm right up to him. He shifts from an old man to a toddler and cocks his head. "I was wondering when you'd arrive. Took you a while," he says casually. I want to smack him, but the tightening grip Sam has on my arm reminds me that I shouldn't, and I nod to her to show that I won't.
I stare at him coldly. "Why did she die?" I ask immediately. He knows everything, right? so he should known exactly what I'm talking about.
Clockwork becomes a middle-aged man and bows his head. "I see that you're hurting, but I can't take back what's meant to happen."
"WHY?!" I find myself screaming. "She's never done anything wrong! She's the greatest sister anyone could have and a very gentle person! She saves my girlfriend and my best friend, and this is what she gets? Death?!"
Clockwork shakes his head slowly. The purple hood he's wearing sways until it nearly falls off. "I realize that. Jasmine Fenton is indeed a wondrous woman and doesn't seem to deserve the fate she received today, but you don't know time the way I do. Technically, if I would've let time progress the way it was meant, she would have died at least three times before now. And I kept putting it off, for your family's sake. Alas, I cannot stay away from the inevitable for long; so, when I saw that she was to die on this day, I had o let it happen, or else I'd be answering to powers much higher than my own."
I don't want to say anything to that. If I open my mouth right now, I'll probably start crying again. So I wait for the elder ghost to continue.
"You remember what I said about the way I see time, don't you? That I see it from above, at every angle, instead of a parade with everything in sequence? Well, I saw Jasmine Fenton's death split nine different ways. The soonest was when your evil counterpart murdered her along with your parents, friends, and teacher. The latest… was this very day. And the quickest, least painful, was also today. She could have died from choking, or a semi-truck, or four of your ghostly enemies, or even by her own hand. But each of those times, I did all I could to prevent it, because you still needed her."
Sam's weeping now, I can feel her shaking and sniffling. Tucker has gone dead and numb, like me. We all listen carefully, but aren't wrapping our minds around this.
Clockwork turns away. "If you're hoping to search for her ghost like one of the timelines I know shows you doing, you won't find her. She left no regrets and held no duties, so she passed on immediately. However… you will find a different ghost. More of, he'll find you. And don't worry, it won't be any worse than this."
I set my jaw and swallow hard enough to make my voice work if for only a moment. "What ghost?" I ask.
He looks back at me. "Someone you know. It's not my place to say who. But when you see him, please, don't take your pain out on him. He's tired, and in no mood to fight."
Must he always talk in riddles? I shakes my head. "Fine," I say. I grab Tucker's wrist. "Let's go," I say to the two of them, "Since there's nothing we can do, apparently."
And that little fact just tears me up inside.
- - -
Months pass. Danny didn't go to the funeral, or finish his senior year of high school. He didn't even leave his room, for the most part. Visitors come and go, like school friends and his parents, who are just as torn up as he is, but trying to seem stronger for Danny's sake, hoping their strength – even if it's forced – might transfer to their son. But it's no use. Danny just wishes to take it back. Take back that day, take back anything mean he's ever said to his sister, and take back his grip on his life. In other words, he wants to let go of his own life, and 'pass on' right away like his sister. If he didn't have Sam and Tucker and his parents, he probably would've done exactly that.
- - -
I hear a knock on my window one day. At first, I tense and wonder if it's that ghost Clockwork mentioned, but it's not. It's a girl ghost, about sixteen years old. And a sister of mine I forgot I had.
Danielle comes into my room via intangibility and turns human just above my bed. She falls into a sitting position and wraps her arms around me. "Hey cous'," she says. It's a hard habit to break, calling each other cousins. We look more like twins, though; similar hair, same exact eyes, similar clothes… then again, she is my clone. But she feels more to me like a younger sister. "How ya feelin'?"
I snort. "The same I've felt for months now: depressed. But that's life, right?"
She flicks my nose. "No, dumbass." She picked up swearing last year. It suits her personality in a way. "Life is living. As in, having fun and moving on and stuff." She scoots on the bed to sit beside me. "Look… I liked your sister. A lot. She was a great gal, but she wouldn't want you acting like this, would she? Emo-ing out in your room and refusing to speak to anybody? That's heartless, Danny. And I don't like heartless."
I stare at her for a moment. "Who asked you?" I grumble. I look out the window. "Besides, what is there to do? You and I both know I'm not smart enough for college, and all I'm good at is saving people from ghostly menaces. But I couldn't even save my own sister! And now I don't even want to be an astronaut, because that's what killed her. So tell me, Danni, what am I supposed to do, huh? How am I supposed to live my pathetic life?"
Craziest thing: she gets up, stands in front of me, scowls, and smacks my cheek. It stings for a long time, she slapped me so hard. "Daniel Fenton!" she snaps. "Stop wallowing in unnecessary self pity, get off your depressed ass, and get outside! Right now! I'm buying you ice cream and having a nice long walk with you in the park. And you're going to talk to me, dammit, and I'm going to somehow make you laugh. Understand?"
Not even Sam was this fierce with me. Sam's bummed about Jazz's death too much to try and cheer me up. And Tucker… well, he's been kind of keeping his distance.
"Why do you care?" I find myself saying to her once my cheek stopped hurting. "How come you randomly show up and decide to 'cure' me?"
"Because, as your clone, I could feel your depression and it bugs me! I'm miles away, and I feel sick. For no reason. And I figure out it's because of you, so what else can I do? I come see what's wrong. And I hear about 'the great Danny Phantom's dead sister', and, I dunno, I felt I have to fix things. Maybe it's partly because I'm selfish and want this feeling to leave, but I'm also worried about you." Danielle pauses to run her hands through her hair and exhale. "Danny, you helped me, and now I'm going to help you whether you like it or not. So let's go."
Inwardly, I groan. I don't want to go anywhere. I solely want to sleep. I've been doing that a lot lately; if Tuck were in a better mood because of a different scenario, he might joke that I've been a comatose case. But when I sleep, I don't feel any of that heavy sadness. So I like it better when I'm asleep.
I stand from my bed with Danielle's help, and she tells me to go ghost. So I do, not even bothering to dramatically say that I am, I just do it. No battle cries today.
She flies with me to the ice cream shop and tells me to wait outside. When she returns, I know that she stole the fudge pops she's holding, but I'm too down to care. We head over to the park and turn human to walk. She laps at the melting chocolate and starts talking. And keeps talking. And the whole time, I say stuff back, but nothing I remember. While Danni tries to make conversation, though, I realize that what she said is true; she's hurting because I'm hurting. She sighs a lot, usually when I'm about to sigh. And tears form in her eyes right when I want to cry. It's like my emotions are playing through her like a record player.
"I'm sorry," I tell her suddenly.
"About what?"
I point to her brows and watery eyes. "About that."
She smiles crookedly. "Oh, I don't mind that I have your face; I think I pull it off better than you do, anyway."
For the first time in months, I laugh. She knows I mean the emotion thing, but she purposely took my vague description and twisted it around to make a joke out of it. She said she was going to make me laugh, and she succeeded.
"To what do I owe this touching reunion?" we hear a voice behind us say. Danielle and I freeze in place. We know that voice as well as we know each other's. Vladimir Masters.
I whirl around. He's floating down in his ghost form, Plasmius, and as his feet touch the ground his figure changes into his human half. I feel anger rise in my stomach, boiling and churning. Danielle holds out her arm. "Wait, Danny."
"What for what?!" I snarl. "Wait for him to attack? Wait for him to come up with some crack pot scheme? No way."
She shakes her head. "He wouldn't return unless he meant to do good. Think about it: if Vlad really wanted to do something like that, would he seek us first, the two people who hate him most? Would he come back, knowing that the world is furious with him, to just make them most angry? He's not the type to sign a death warrant that quickly."
"Thank you, my dear," Vlad mutters. He looks a bit scraggily like when I saw his older, broken self in the future that never happened where Dan existed. For a brief moment, I remember how that Vlad had helped me, and how I had pitied that Vlad.
So I soften a smidge. "Why are you here?"
He sighs and moves to one of the park benches. He sits down slowly. "I visit occasionally to get supplies to make a living up in space. Obviously I can't live here any longer, seeing as how I wronged this world so much. So I use one of my last untouched space stations from my early projects years ago to call home. But as you can guess, I run out of food and such monthly. Last time I came to Earth I got enough, however, for many months. And when I come back this month, I discover that Jasmine Fenton is gone." He looks up at me, and I've never seen an expression like this in his eyes before. Vlad actually looks compassionate. It scares me. "Are you alright, Daniel?"
I feel Danni's gaze on me, but I'm glued to Vlad. "How would you be if you were me?" It's meant to be sarcastic, but I fail with my voice cracking at the end.
"Distraught," he replies. "Wracked with grief. As I imagine are your exact feelings."
I don't have anything to say to that, because he basically hit the nail on the head. Still, something is strange about this; aside from the fact that he's my arch enemy and feeling bad for me. I mean, that goes without saying. But I thought that Vlad never cared about anybody but himself and his own ambitions; since when does he care about me? Sure, he said once that he was going to steal me and my mom and make us his wife and son or something, but that was just him being crazy, right? Vlad wasn't not serious, was he? He wouldn't honestly think of me as a son, especially not now after all that's happened between us. That's just insane. He even told me pretty much the same thing. So why…
He clears his throat. "I can understand if you don't understand my intentions, boy. I've done nothing to make you trusting or believing of me. But I hope you can realize that I mean it from the depths of my heart when I say that I empathize with you about your sister, and am terribly sorry that she died."
He stands and goes ghost again. His blood red eyes pierce into mine and for an unblinking moment, and I realize that he does mean it, and think momentarily that he isn't such a bad guy deep down.
The thought doesn't last. But after Vlad and (a few weeks later) Danni leave, I know it's a start: a start to accepting what happened and healing.
I can't get my sister back… but I can act like how she would want me to if she were here. She can be the imaginary guardian angel on my shoulder, much like how she was in life.
- - -
He visited her grave the day Vlad came and went. And following his epiphany, Danny steadily grew brighter and became himself again, although better than ever.
And Clockwork, watching over Danny the entire time, knew that he did the right thing when he finally allowed Jazz to exit the world of the living.
It's funny how fate rejuvenates you. You lose a loved one, and once enough time passes to enable you to figuratively "forget" their death enough to move on, you're stronger. You get reborn into a different, more mature person, and see things a little differently.
Greater still the irony of fate: the two people Danny thought were least likely to bring him out of the hole – his hated foe Vlad and his barely-present clone Danni – are the two individuals who do.