so I wrote some drabble-ish 465-inspired angst, ft. metaphors and the abuse of commas. Enjoy!
There was a glass wall.
Well, not literally. He wasn't actually trapped in a box of glass, watching everyone else go by from the inside. But it felt like it, for how detached he was from the world. It was a weird feeling, especially for Natsu, because the one thing he always had liked to be was in the moment - in the middle of the fight, always moving, always attacking, not caring much of the consequences as long as he could wreck whatever was trying to kill him or his friends at that particular time.
But now there was a wall, separating him from that moment. It reminded him of those outdoor cafés he passed on jobs, running past the people sitting at the tables to wherever he and Lucy and Happy were going next. For the first time in his life, Natsu was the observer - the person sitting at the café table, watching people run by, with the glass wall separating him from everyone else like those iron railings separated the tables from the street.
He hated it.
But there wasn't really anything to be done, the revelations were too much. When he let his guard down too much to the thoughts whirling through his head, even the war they were fighting against Alvarez seemed pointless, compared to the flashes of memory popping up of a war fought 400 years ago, one that indirectly resulted in their current situation and indirectly was Natsu's fault. There were more, and every flash thickened the glass - a village, an angry blue-haired man (who turned into a dragon Natsu recognized with a sickening feeling), another family, a brother, ones that had Natsu shooting awake four times a night.
He knew that everyone else could sense that something was wrong, something had changed when he came back from that fight with Zeref, dangling unconscious from Happy's burned paws. None dared ask, though, because they seemed to feel the wall too, preventing anything beyond a superficial interaction between those on opposite sides.
It was a glass wall made up of the sands of time, burned into glass by a different kind of fire, a cursed fire, one Natsu could still feel burning away in the deepest confines of his soul, waiting to be called upon to finish this once and for all.
(Lucy, of course it was Lucy, had been the only one who inquired, murmuring sadly to Cana when she thought he couldn't hear after he dodged every question, "I know something's wrong! Honestly, he's always going about how he's going to save everyone...but who's going to save him from himself?!"
If I die, you die as well. At this point, either Natsu flat-out dies, or Zeref kills everyone he cares about and he snaps, kills Zeref, and dies anyway.
There's no saving him.)
i'm dead and it's all mashima's fault, save me
Review!