Disclaimer: Well it's July and guess what?.... I still don't own A Series of Unfortunate Events. He owns these characters. Thank him some day.
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I just finished my last day of school this year! Yessss! So to celebrate such a joyous occasion I felt like writing this. After being home about an hour and a half…I based it on that oh so important line "the day Beatrice met Esme Squalor for afternoon tea for the first time" or something close to it. I realise there are a lot of technicalities in the timescale of this...but I hope you like : )
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Lemony gave her a serious look as they stood on the steps of 667 Dark Avenue.
"Esme Squalor? Do you know what you're getting yourself into?"
"Afternoon tea!" Beatrice pushed him aside and walked up to the frosted glass doors. Normally she would have appreciated how In they were. Not today.
"I know Esme! She's done things… a lot of things!"
"Well then why can you not explain exactly those things are?"
"I… I just can't. Believe me, please" Lemony grabbed her arm.
She looked sadly at him for a second and then pulled away.
"No" she said quietly, and pushed through the doors.
Lemony watched her go then pulled his dark brown hat down over his eyes.
"Good afternoon sir" the doorman said. The lobby was painted a lurid shade of green and there was a large painting of an unusual flower on one wall. The floor was made of a shiny black stone, so highly polished it was hard to walk on without sliding.
"Mmm yes, afternoon" he replied, hurrying past before he was recognized.
He caught up with Beatrice on the stairs and she turned to face him angrily.
"Why is it?" she asked. "That you can never just let me do things? Are you jealous? Do you think I'm incapable of looking after myself? Or is just too much for you to meet new people?"
"I now it sounds pathetic, but if you go up there-"
"What Lemony? What will happen? I'm going to the Squalors' whether you want me to or not!"
She began to climb the stairs once more.
"No! Listen to me!" Lemony shouted.
"I've given up listening to you. You never have answers"
"Hey!" a voice sounded from the entrance hall. "You're that guy! You're not supposed to be in here!" 7
"I have to go. Just look at this Beatrice" he shoved an envelope into her hand. "Promise me you'll look!"
Beatrice just stared back, her eyes empty.
"Promise me!"
Nothing.
Two guards burst onto the staircase, both wearing a bright orange tie with 667 security printed on in small letters. They each grabbed one of Lemony's arms and began to drag him back down the stairs.
"VFD! VFD!" he screamed, but she remained expressionless.
A minute later Beatrice stared down at the envelope she had been given. It looked old and there was nothing typed on the front. Without even opening it she ripped it into pieces and threw them out of the window. A determined expression appeared on her face.
Three years later
Esme smiled with satisfaction as she made her way through the passage. There was mould on the walls and the floor was damp (two very Out things) but for once it didn't seem to matter. When she got back to the penthouse Jerome would fix her an aqueous martini anyway.
Killing is so easy, she thought. Why do people make such a big deal about it?
She could imagine the flames licking at the expensive furniture now. And soon they would discover the inferno… and there would be the screaming.
Esme thought back to the first time she had met the unfortunate woman.
They had had so much in common- too much. It was a shame she was too bigger rival to keep around. There was a gigantic roar above her and Esme cackled delightedly. Olaf would be pleased. And then she could escape from Jerome and the city…
True, the sugar bowl was still missing thanks to the interfering bitch- but Esme could almost say she owed it all to Beatrice.