"They are here to help, Yu. I promise that it will get better and that-"

"Just shut the fuck up, old man. I don't want to be here so you might as well not even try," I was serious too. They tried getting me into therapy but it never worked, and I never really saw a point in it either, there wasn't really anything wrong either, I'm fine the way I am. So then why is the old man bringing me to a place like this?

"Yu, I know that this is hard and that you don't understand it but these people are here to help you," I grunted as he pulled into the parking space. I really wasn't looking forward to my stay at the Black Order. It was a home to help those in need of therapy or rehabilitation, and quite frankly it was pissing me off that the old man and my siblings believed that it would be better for me to go here than skipping out on therapy sessions unless I was forced to go.

He checked me in at the front desk and the staff was then ordered to go through my things, making sure I didn't have any weapons or substances; to be honest all of this was quite annoying. It took a lot in me to keep from yelling at the staff and the doctors that I saw before being led to my room. They said that my roommate was very nice and that I should get along with him nicely, as well as that he was going to show me around the facility.

"And this is your room, Kanda. Your roommate's name is Allen and he will be showing you around for the tour today. If you have any questions ask him or one of the staff members. Please have a nice stay," the lady smiled as she opened the door and lead me into the room before smiling and leaving me with my roommate. He turned to me and I frowned, taking in the strange features. He smiled at me warmly and set a leather-bound notebook down on the desk that seemed to be claimed as his.

"Oh, hello. My name is Allen Walker. It's nice to meet you. I presume that you will be my new roommate, Kanda, right?" I warily took his extended hand, seeing that he had gloves put me off, but then gripped it tightly as he tilted his head, sending a wave of something through my body and making me tense. I really felt like punching this guy right now.

"Yeah, what's with the tattoo?" I let go of his hand and jerked my chin towards his face, gesturing to the weirdly curved lines over the left side of his face that connected to a pentacle on his forehead. Allen's eyebrow twitched but he still smiled politely, it ticked me off because it looked so fake.

"Actually, it's a scar. A rather unpleasant memory that I would like to not bring up. Do you need help unpacking or would you like me to show you around first?" I glanced around the room for a while. Beige walls, two twin beds, two dressers, two desks with chairs, and a door leading to a bathroom. The only way that I would have been able to tell that someone had been living here was the papers stacked neatly on the desk next to a photo of a man with a younger version of Allen but without the strange scar. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I could care less about packing since I don't plan on staying here long. Nothing's really wrong with me. Let's just get this over with," I threw my bag on the unclaimed bed and looked over at Allen's face to see dark features that were quickly wiped away when he saw me looking.

"Alright, then I won't make this any more painful than it has to be," he chuckled lightly but it only pissed me off more. It was so fake and so annoying. I hated that laugh and that smile.

He walked me around the large facility. The dorm rooms for boys and girls were in separate buildings and the cafeteria was across from the hospital where we would go for group or medical attention. As we entered the cafeteria some people shouted out to Allen and I saw his shoulders relax and a warmer, real smile make its way onto his face.

"Yo Allen! Come on over! Lena and I saved you some food! Bring your new friend too!" An energetic looking redhead was waving at us and a girl sitting next to him was giggling while braiding her hair. Allen turned to me with the real smile still present on his face.

"Would you like to go get some food and then come sit with us?" I shook my head and made a disapproving noise.

"Ate at home," he nodded and got this sad look in his eyes before shaking it off and leading me over to the other two.

"So! Allen, buddy, is this your new roommate Kanda? Do you think you like him?" The redhead wiggled his eyebrows and Allen shook his head laughing.

"Lavi, I'm not sure if you remember but we have indeed just met, so I highly doubt that I could come to like someone with just meeting them," Lavi pouted as we took our seats. Lavi and the girl both had trays of food in front of them, half-eaten, and an extra tray sat in the middle of the table. Lavi pushed it towards Allen as he took his seat again.

"Okay," he whined and glanced at the girl, who was now putting her hair up in a bun instead of the braid. "Why don't you eat, Allen? Bet you haven't had breakfast yet with having to show Kanda around and all that," the sad smile on Lavi's face made me frown and the girl leaned forward, facing Allen. She moved her hands around quickly, making different hand motions, and I sat in confusion as her face grew sad and Allen's shoulders drooped significantly.

"I know, Lenalee. I'm just not hungry yet," I frowned again. The sad looks that Lenalee and Lavi shared made me curious. What were their reasons for being here?

"So why are you guys here? What the hell's wrong with you all? Freaks like us have to be in here for a reason," I leaned back in the chair and folded my arms. They glanced at each other. Lenalee made a few hand motions and the two boys sighed as she took her bun down and then up into pigtails. Lavi turned to me smiling sadly.

"Well, might as well say it now than later. My name's Lavi and I have been diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder as well as caffeine-induced anxiety disorder. Lenalee here has selective mutism and PTSD, and then Allen has major depression and anorexia nervosa. What about you, Kanda?" I sat there for a moment, trying to keep myself from yelling at him for commanding me like that.

"And why the fuck do you need to know?" Lavi and Lenalee looked surprised but Allen just chuckled and looked at me sadly.

"ODD?" When I growled at him Allen nodded as the others gave him odd looks. "Oppositional defiant disorder. I used to have it when I was younger but after therapy it went away. Don't worry Kanda, we can help you out as long as you are willing," Lenalee signed at me, looking eager, but after I didn't respond Allen translated.

"She wants to know if anything else happened to you or if there is anything else wrong. You can tell us, Kanda. We will be here for you. I think we can all agree that we are friends, right?" Lenalee nodded and Lavi followed hesitantly. People with RAD have problems making meaningful relationships due to growing up without ever having a meaningful and close relationship. I grunted and turned away.

"Yeah whatever," the truth was that they also thought I had othello syndrome, but I didn't believe that. Alma was the one being unfaithful so it's not my fault that I got angry at him or that he killed himself. He's the one who didn't understand how much it hurt me and made me angry when he looked at or hung out with other people.

The others talked with each other and I just watched, noticing that Allen and Lavi both signed as they were talking, most likely because of Lenalee. They say that people who learn sign-language often sign absentmindedly when they are talking, so now it makes sense why the two were moving their hands so much while talking. As I looked around I noticed a nurse approaching us and I glared, not liking the authoritative posture he took. He was wearing a beret and held a clipboard, strolling over to us with a smile on his face.

"Hello Allen, Lavi, Lenalee," he looked at them all as he said their names before looking at me. "Kanda," I glared at him harder and tried to keep myself from growling. This guy and all of the nurses and staff members were really pissing me off and I hate it. He looked back to Allen and then glanced back at Allen's tray of food sadly.

"Have you eaten anything today, Allen?" I saw a spark of anger in Allen's eye as he stared at the man before looking at the tray and picking at the salad.

"No," the man sighed.

"You know that means I have to sit here until you eat all of your food, right?"

"Yes, Komui," Allen picked up the fork and knife and began ripping the leaves and other veggies into pieces, tiny pieces. Komui sat down in between Allen and Lenalee, he smiled brightly at the girl.

"And how are you my beautiful sister?" Lenalee rolled her eyes, smiling as she signed to him. I tried to watch the rest of the people but Allen was always at the corner of my vision and I found it pitiful and upsetting to see him picking at his food like that, acting like he was eating something disgusting. The four of them - well three - were talking, Komui kept checking on Allen, reminding him to eat, and I couldn't help but feel bad for him, being forced to do something by someone who believes they are more powerful than you. It angered me and I wanted to punch him, but the last time I did something like that I was sedated and tied down to a hospital bed.

"Komui, I'm sorry but I can't eat anymore," barely half of the salad was gone and Allen looked like he was sick. Komui smiled at him sadly.

"Just three more bites and then you can be done for now, but I will come back in two hours to give you a morning snack, alright? And you must eat it all, like we promised."

"Alright," Allen took three bites like he was told, but they were impossibly small and I wouldn't even count them as bites, but who am I to tell anyone what to do.

I stared at the mirror in silent shock. It's been five days but the sight of it was still shocking none the less.

Written in thick red sharpie, words covered the one side of the mirror over the sink that had been claimed as Allens. It consisted of this:

Freak

Ugly

Fatty

No one likes you

Monster

Disgusting

Killer

Fag

The writing was slanted and shaking, as if the writer was crying or shaking while writing it. Allen probably was too. I'm still slightly surprised at his behavior too. At first glance he seems to be what people would call a "true gentleman," but I know that there is something darker about him. Yes, it is true that at every meal and periodically throughout the day Allen is monitored to make sure he eats something, but I've also learned that he tends to lie about it as well. When no one looks he hides or throws away the food, and other times he spends time in the bathroom getting rid of the food he just ate. I've never said anything about or against it though, since it really isn't my problem, and Allen doesn't really seem to mind either.

"Are you done yet, Kanda? I would like to take a shower soon," Allen didn't quite yell as he entered the room, closing the door silently behind him as I heard him walk over to the dressers and rummage around. I grunted, washing my hands before exiting and sending him a glare, growling too, 'cause I really don't like it when he or anyone asks me things; even simple things.

"Thank you, Kanda,"I grunted and flopped down on the bed as Allen sent me a polite smile. He was dressed in short sweat pants, tennis shoes, and a t-shirt, but his whole left arm was covered in a long glove that I found he usually wears. No one ever asks him about it though, apparently he has always done that and after a week people stopped asking him.

Twice a day at random times, Allen goes out somewhere and exercises for two hours. When I mentioned it to Lavi, since it pissed me off for some reason, he said that Allen found a place without any cameras that the staff doesn't know about so that he can work off all the food they make him eat. Lavi seemed pretty indifferent about it but Lenalee was really upset.

After a half-hour laying around, I decided to actually go to one of the groups. They have 24 different groups throughout the day that last for forty-five minutes. Some run at the same time, and some repeat too in case people missed the group and still wanted to go. I went to two or three a day, since you were required to come to some of them, and if you didn't the staff would question you about it, leading to a long therapy session, as I learned the first day. Lavi said that they have records of who goes to the groups to keep track of people's progress.

I walked into the room, late as usual, but no one ever cared as long as you showed up. I only came to the ones that had no topic unless I was dragged along fighting and protesting to another group, usually for anger management. Lenalee was sitting in one of the corners with a girl Sachiko, who likes to be called Chomesku, and when she waved me over I reluctantly complied, not wanting to sit by some of the other assholes that sat in the group.

I barely listened throughout the group, and never spoke, only growling when someone tried to get me pulled into the conversation. My annoyance peaked when Allen walked into the room, smiling that shit eating grin and looking like he would rather be somewhere else, but no one ever seemed to notice. He sat next to me, nodding in hello as I sent him a dangerous growl. No matter what I did he seemed to always get me to talk or whatever. So I did everything I could to get away from him, but being roommates and all, we saw each other everywhere.

"You really shouldn't avoid the situation. If you feel that something needs to change then I believe that you should approach the situation calmly and assertively. If the proper communication and DBT skills are used, then the situations can be dealt with effectively with little conflict, since the purpose of assertiveness is to state how you feel using the "I feel" statements to keep the recipient from feeling attacked."

"That is a very good strategy, Allen."

"Thank you," Allen smiled and nodded towards the therapist in appreciation. To be honest, I would of told what I thought straight out, since if you feel a certain way, then the person you are talking to doesn't have the right to feel attacked when you are the one that was upset originally.

"Why do you think that, Kanda?" Fucking shit, I did it again. This is exactly why I hate being in a group with Allen. He gets me talking even when I don't fucking want to.

"Remember, Kanda, it's best to use "I feel" statements without profanity since the situation is about all the percipients as a whole, not just yourself."

"Maybe you should practice what you speak, asshat," I heard Allen mumble something under his breath as the therapist gaped and tried to find his words. I growled and glared at Allen.

"The fuck was that, bean sprout? Something wrong?" Allen met my eyes and the blankness in them took me by surprise for a moment before I nearly flipped my shit.

"I said that I feel that what was just said was not fair. I believe that we are the only ones in control of ourselves, so we shouldn't project our problems onto other people when we feel upset-"

"The fuck are you tryin' to tell me, ya' piece of shit!" Allen frowned slightly as I yanked him out of the chair by his seat. People scrambled up and I heard someone run out to get help. The therapist was trying desperately to calm me down but it only proceeded to piss me off more and I slammed Allen into a wall, making him wince as I held him there. "The fuck is your problem, freak?" Allen's eyes darkened and I couldn't help but smirk confidently. Finally, the little shit shows some emotion. Allen gripped my hands around the wrists and leaned forward, spitting as he whispered to me in a cold voice.

"Maybe it would suit your needs better if a freak like me just died. How does that sound?" I was taken aback and dropped Allen, stumbling back as he simply straightened his clothes. As he walked by me I heard him whisper, "If you want me to get you out of this hellhole then it would be best if you don't pull another stunt like that." Allen walked past the guards as they entered the room, trying to figure out what the problem was. After a second I growled, storming off to go to my room, growling and shaking Lenalee off when she tried to ask me what was wrong.

No one tried to follow me as I left the building and marched to the dormitories, seething with anger and curiosity at the words Allen left me with. An escape from here? Count me the fuck in. I can't take another day with these asshole staffs people. And fuck all the other people too. I could care less about their problems.

It was difficult to keep myself from attacking Allen as he sat there on his bed, looking smug when I walked in. He gestured to the bed across from him and I flopped down, glaring at Allen in reluctant expectation. He raised his eyebrow and smiled, it was quite nice if it weren't for the glint in his eye. When we sat there in silence for a moment, I growled dangerously and lunged, pinning Allen to the mattress as he stared up at me in surprise. I smirked and he frowned, trying to wriggle out but stopping when I growled again and squashed him to the bed with my larger frame, our faces merely inches apart as we stared into each other's eyes.

"Well?"

"Do you really expect me to tell you when you are literally cornering me?"

"Yes," he huffed and shook his head slightly, stiffening when I stepped on his foot and applied pressure to his wrists. Allen glared at me but there wasn't much resistance in it, just passivity, and it pissed me off. I practically crushed his wrists as I pressed them closer to his head, rested my forearms against his and cracked my skull against his, staying close so our noses were touching and I felt his soft breathing against my face. Allen's eyes were wide and I felt him shiver.

"Alright, alright. No need for that, Kanda. Let's be reasonable-"

"Cut the crap, bean sprout. Tell me what the fuck you were talking about or I break your fucking delicate wrist," he looked surprised and snapped his mouth closed, and if I wasn't this close then I wouldn't have noticed the slight blushing on his cheeks, and that was fucking confusing. What the fuck is he blushing about?

"O-okay," he took a shaky breath and avoided looking at my eyes. "W-well, Lavi mentioned the other day that there was a big gap in the cameras for about twenty minutes. It's a view of the parking lot by the exit, and when we were talking about it Lenalee mentioned that all of the staff members store their keys in the break room cabinet. And you know how Lenalee's brother works as a staff member?" He met my eyes for a moment and I nodded slightly. "Well sometimes Komui leaves the door unlocked when he leaves for lunch, and Lenalee can sneak in to grab his keys. The gap in security cameras is towards the end of dinner time and Komui doesn't clock out until midnight, so we could pack some stuff and all sneak out during that time," Allen glanced at me and blushed harder. "Lavi didn't want to but I-I wanted to bring you along as well. Since you don't really like it here all that much," I raised an eyebrow and he turned his head to look away from me, seeming flustered. Leaning back slightly, I felt Allen try to shift under me and I moved my legs so that I was kneeling on the bed slightly and no longer crushing Allen. He glanced back over at me and blinked slowly. I stared at him as he began to blush again.

"Um, could you let go of my arms? It kind of hurts," Allen's voice was tiny and laced with embarrassment. I let them go and leaned on my arms against the mattress instead, still looming over him, staring into his eyes. Allen squirmed under my gaze and I found myself very comfortable for once, not wanting to move, and wondering what Allen's hair felt like and how it became that color in the first place.

"Why's your hair white?" Allen snapped his head back and stared at me in confusion, blush completely gone from his pale skin.

"What?" He gaped and I smirked at his awed expression. Suddenly his mouth snapped shut and cheeks turned scarlet again. I gave him a look.

"What?"

"Um… your hand?"

"What do ya' mean?"

"Kanda, you're touching my hair," I froze, and looked over to see that yes, I was touching his hair, and it was really soft. I looked back at him.

"And?" Allen became a darker shade of red and he puffed out his cheeks.

"Could you maybe stop and get off of me?" I frowned at the annoyance in his voice and did neither that were asked of me. He has no right to tell me what to do.

"No," I smirked when I felt Allen shiver and lean into my touch, even as he glared at me. "Besides, I think you enjoy this."

"Oh shut up and get off me, jerk," grunting, I pushed off the bed and walked to the bathroom, leaving Allen laying on the bed in shock.

What the fuck was that? What's wrong with me?

I splashed water on my face and leaned over the sink, trying to control the anger swelling inside me. I've felt this before. A while ago, a long while ago. So long that I can't remember, but it was focused on one person, and the people around them. I wanted that person. All of the people around them should be gone.

The only thing was that I wanted to kill the one that I wanted. They defied me. They didn't listen to me. Or stay with me. Or submit to me. Or give themselves to me completely. And they need to pay.

"Kanda? We're leaving in half-an-hour. Make sure you have everything packed, okay?" I looked up into the mirror, covering the sinister smile that crossed my face.

"Yeah, whatever."

Allen Walker will pay.