Hey, all. Random thing that popped into my head. I always rather thought that James and Sirius had Remus with them for more than just the studying; he had to have something that they wanted, you? I own nothing.
"H'lo, Hagrid," Remus said in a would-be cheerful tone, passing him on his way into the forest. "Is Witherwings feeling better today?"
"A bit," Hagrid replied, with a concerned look on his face. "Still don't know what got her leg, but it looks like it was a pretty bad fight. Musta been something big."
"That's too bad. I brought her a few rats; she likes those, doesn't she?" He seemed distracted, though, his gaze shooting from side to side. The gamekeeper frowned slightly.
"Yeah, she does... Ya want me ta- Remus?" The first year Gryffindor had just dived behind him.
"Hagrid, if they ask, I was never here, okay?" he asked frantically. "Keep your temper if they start... saying things." Luckily for the thin boy, Hagrid's legs were so wide that they completely hid Remus from view. He let out a sigh of relief, then dived behind Hagrid's cabin and slowly made his way into the forest.
He finally let out his breath in one great gust when he found himself safely within the trees. Most first years would be scared out of their wits in here by themselves, but he'd done it before and besides, he wasn't that far in. He veered to the left, treading almost silently on the pine needles, until he heard them. He smiled slightly and broke into a jog, the burlap sack of dead rats bouncing along at his side. If he was honest he wouldn't mind a few himself, but the chance was too great he would get caught eating dead rodents.
"Hey, Witherwings," he said as he neared the paddock. He vaulted over the fence and set the bag carefully on the ground. There was only one creature inside it, though it was fairly large. The injured hippogriff had a look of pain on it's face, and Remus smiled sympathetically. "I know how you feel, girl. Hurts, doesn't it?" He walked carefully forward and bowed slowly, keeping eye contact with the animal. It nodded at him, and he smiled. "I brought you a present." Witherwings made a strange whining noise in the back of her throat. He jogged back to grab the small sack and walked back over to her.
He stuck a hand in the bag and pulled out a rat. Witherwings snapped her beak impatiently, waiting for him to fling the rat to her. He did, and she caught it easily, then crawled forward - her wounded leg dragging behind her - to try and grab the entire bagful. He laughed. "No way am I letting you do that. Burlap isn't good for a hurt hippogriff," he scolded. He reached in to grab another rat, absently licking the blood off his fingers. She snapped it out of the air, and he amused himself by flinging them higher and higher and seeing if she could still catch them. She could.
After only a few minutes he had emptied the entire bag. "Well, that's everything, gorgeous." He began to pet her, gently scratching that one area on her neck that she liked so much. The hippogriff stretched luxuriously, and he laughed. "You're spoiled, you know that? Spoiled little hippogriff that doesn't know how to take care of herself, eh? Here's a tip:avoidthe deadly animals in the forest, alright? You'll feel much better if you do."
"He's insane, that one!" he heard a voice grumbling from somewhere to his right, and he stiffened.
"I know," answered an equally annoyed voice. "We pull the greatest prank in the world, and he doesn't doanything?"
"Nothing at all, mate. Didn't laugh, didn't cry. I don't think his expression even changed. Just nods, closes that book and walks off."
"Hey, did you see what he was reading?Standard Book of Spells, Grade Three.I don't care what the teachers say; reading that far ahead is not normal."
"Agreed. Say, do you reckon it's true Hagrid's got a hippogriff in here?"
The voices were drawing closer. Remus rose silently and, giving Whitherwings one last pat, walked back to the fence and vaulted over it. He was halfway back to the castle when he realized he had left the bag there. He decided he didn't care as he continued back up to the lake.
An hour later, he was lying on his bed reading when the door slammed open. Maybe it wasn't supposed to, but it did. His dorm-mates seemed unable to open a door quietly.
"Naw, James, it was definitely that Lupin kid. How many weirdos would leave a bloodstained sack in the forest with a hippogriff?"
"Hagrid?"
"Well, yeah, Hagrid would, but he was working in the pumpkin patch, remember?"
"Maybe... maybe he left it there. From yesterday or earlier today."
"Nah, the hippogriff was already chewing on it when we found it; it probably would have eaten the whole thing if it was left over from this morning."
"True! And- woah, look, he's right there!" James stopped abruptly. "Hey, Lupin! We wanted to know if you brought a dirty blood-stained sack to an injured hippogriff in the forest sometime this afternoon. Did you?"
Remus glanced up at them, his eyebrows raised. "Yes, I did. She was hungry and I felt she deserved a treat."
"A bloodstained bag is a treat?" Sirius asked skeptically.
"No," Remus said, rolling his eyes. "It was full of rats."
"How'd you get a bag full of rats?" James and Sirius asked at the same time, goggling at him. He grinned sheepishly, despite himself.
"Stole 'em from the caretaker's cat. He's got this great store of them that he's hidden under Mr. Filch's desk."
The other two boys' jaws dropped. "You went... into his office?" James whispered, looking awestruck. "And you're still alive?"
"Well, it was close," Remus said with a grin. "He almost got me, but I wanted to go see Witherwings, after all."
"How'd you get past the cat?" Sirius asked, admiration coming off him in waves. Remus had to admit it was a welcome change.
"Simple levitation charm; you know, Wingardium Leviosa. It's really quite an easy charm; the cat was stuck in the air and I was free to take as many mice as I wanted."
"Niiiiice!"
It was strange to be talking to them as though they were friends and had been for a while, when in actuality they had barely spoken before this.
"You didn't really seem like the type to do that kind of thing," James said, looking at Remus as though seeing him for the first time. The werewolf shrugged.
"I just like to keep to myself, that's all. I guess I'm just a quiet kind of person."
"Yeah, quiet."
"Too quiet."
"Freakishly-"
"Unnaturally-"
"Nonhumanly-"
"Quiet. Is nonhumanly even a word?"
"No..."
"But yeah, you're too quiet," Sirius finished. "You didn't even react to the best prank of all time!"
Remus quirked an eyebrow. "You think that was the best prank ever?"
"Yeah! It definitely was. It was completely and utterly amazing, wasn't it, James?"
James nodded fervently. "We spent ages figuring it out. You know, which trees to use, how high the string should be, that kind of thing. It wasreallyhard."
"And yet so easy to figure..."
"What?"
"Well, yeah. You stretch a rope across two trees so that someone would trip over it. Amusing enough, if slightly childish. However, you made some obvious mistakes that even an amateur should have noticed. One, the rope was bright orange. Orange! Anyone would have noticed that."
"You didn't seem to," James muttered, flushing slightly. Remus rolled his eyes.
"Of course I saw it; I just felt bad that you two had been sitting there for nearly an hour waiting for something to happen. So I decided to just make you feel better about it and trip."
"Okay, fine, so we made one mistake," snapped Sirius, whose pride was sorely injured. "Just one! So what?"
"Did I say that was your only mistake?" Remus asked. He had to admit that he enjoyed bugging them; it was amusing to see how they took being put down. "For another thing, you were both chattering like magpies the entire time; people in Hogsmeade could hear you, I'm sure. Also, you were very clearly sitting in the tree and staring at the rope. That just drew more attention to it. And I really can't decide whether or not it was good that you just put it ove plain old grass. No mud, no gian puddle, no thornbushes. Although come to think of it, thornbushes wouldn't be good because then even I wouldn't feel bad enough for you two to walk straight into them..."
He trailed off thoughtfully, and James and Sirius exchanged glances. When Remus saw the looks on their faces, he flushed. "Sorry," he muttered. "Guess I'll just keep to my own business-"
Sirius burst out laughing. "Know what, Lupin? You're a right piece of work, but I kinda like you. C'mon, it's almost dinnertime. Care to give us a few more tips?"
Remus looked surprised... no, not surprised. He looked shocked. "Really? Are you serious?"
A grin. "Why yes, yes I am." James rolled his eyes.
"That joke was old when we were four, Mr. Nobody."
"Shut up. Wonder what the house elves cooked up for us tonight?"
"Food, I hope." Sirius shot James a glare and received a cheeky grin in reply. Remus followed them almost anxiously, not really sure what to do.
"Hey, have either of you seen Peter?" he asked suddenly, looking around at the empty common room. They both shrugged in reply.
"Naw, I dunno," Sirius said cheerfully. "I saw him hightail it out to the Great Hall earlier. Guess he was hungry. I can't say I'm complaining; he does tend to be kind of a tagalong."
"Be fair; he has his uses," James replied, then frowned. "I'm not entirely sure what they are, though... But we'll figure it out eventually!"
"Or never, if he doesn't actually have any," Sirius pointed out. "He might not, you know. Some people really don't."
"Yeah, but some people...mostpeople do." Sirius snickered.
"Snivellus sure doesn't have any uses," he declared, and James nodded, grinning.
"You mean the greasy-haired kid in Slytherin?" Remus asked mildly, and they nodded. "Oh, he has his uses. Mostly so that you two can hone your pranking skills." He watched as delighted grins spread across their faces, and Sirius swung an arm about his shoulders.
"Yup. You are definitely one of us."
And yes, I am aware that this is completely unrealistic. No, I don't think Remus eats dead rats, I personally believe James and Sirius would be much better pranksters than I portray them here, and no, I don't think Peter is a penguin.