Don't Say That I Never Take You Anywhere
No copyright inFRiNGEment intended.
Note: Unleashed spoilery… filler. And just so you know where I stand, lilsister gotta leave!
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She had been reading the same ID files for the fifth times or even the tenth or possibly even more. She couldn't find a way to concentrate on the work at hand today, despite the outcomes of her new horrendous monster case of the day.
She knew that she owed it to the victims to stay focused, and she knew that she simply couldn't.
"… I was actually calling for Rachel, is she there?"
So that was it. She'd done it again.
Each and every time Olivia had been interesting in some guy, Rachel managed to steal him from her. It was either a car emergency, or a last minute prom date defection or anything in the range of damsel in distress to glorious male teen magnet.
Except they were not teens any more; Rachel was in the process of divorcing Ella's father, Olivia was a confirmed FBI agent, and yet nothing has changed, really.
Rachel must have known that she was attracted to her colleague, there was simply no way SHE could have missed the signals. She most likely knew it long before Olivia did. She also knew that it was difficult for Olivia to open up and have easy normal relationships, and though she couldn't resist to show off and prove her power over Peter, all the more so because he was off limits.
Nothing like an easy victory to beat back your fears, Olivia thought with a twinge of sadness.
Or it was just Rach's way to crush her sister's heart again and again. She was not happy, not without a strings of willing lover wannabes or possible mating prospects in her wake. She never was.
How could she have let this happen again, this was beyond her. No wonder she was up so late most days and always acting weird around her and tiptoeing around telling her… something.
Or not. Rachel was always the egotistic one. And the harder she fell, the higher she bounced back.
House hunting because of Ella, no less? Why not admit right away she simply needed the privacy? She could not believe she pressed her sister to stay in Boston; for god's sake, she might have known better.
She watched absently the wall before her before going back to the files, skimming through the documents, doing her best to appear busy.
On the other side of the wall, Astrid, Walter and Peter acted according to their routine, whatever it was, though it seems, in view of the volume of their voices in the lab, that their routine wasn't as smooth as usual.
Peter is in a bad mood because he can't see Rachel as much as he'd like to with her big sister always in the way, she smirked. She gave a look around her, not sure she wasn't thinking out loud. She couldn't remember a time when she had been that pissed.
She sighed and fanned the files on her desk.
For the umpteenth time, she replayed the conversation in the back of her head and each time it made her stomach churn and her eyes sting.
Why on earth would she assume that something was wrong? How could she think that something necessarily awful has happened? Almost certainly because he had never called her to make small talk during all these months they were working together, not once.
She bit her lip and tried to get back to a place where she was safe and happy and naturally, she thought of Ella's gentle face.
Maybe it was a bad idea to read her those kid horror books. They were supposed to confront children with their inner fears and to lead them to understand and master them with the guidance of an adult but somehow, it didn't feel right.
Maybe you shouldn't shield you from your fears. Maybe you should face your inner demons and deal with them in another way.
Maybe you should stop blaming others for grasping at the chance of being happy and not afraid to live their lives when they had the chance.
Maybe she should have sped up her personal process and secure a place in her heart where she could be fine with liking Peter instead of creating a monster of her own, a fantasy designed to push him away and into her sister's arms.
Maybe for that one time, she should have faced her demons and kept Rachel at bay.
Or else.
Right before Peter came inside her office for a coffee refill, she knew she wouldn't be able to put on her poker face. She had managed to do her best when they had been canvassing the crime scene earlier, but now, she was too tired to even try.
She was not doing herself a favour by denying that she had spend the previous night tossing and rolling in her bed, worried and unable to relax because of Peter's call until the wee hours.
"Any leads on the fourth victim?" he asked casually.
She looked up and find herself staring at him. "No." Well, if that was the best she could do, she was in big trouble.
"What?" he asked with a side glance and a smug smile.
So much for being in control. She was making a fool of herself. "Nothing," she said, angry at herself for being so transparent.
And what if he was only testing her? He didn't really need the extra coffee, he'd have half a dozen mugs already, perhaps he was just trying to have a conversation. What if, what if for once, she didn't push him away? She knew how she felt last night when she realized he was not calling for work, --the expectation, the exhilaration.
But that, that was before reality sank in and she understood that he was indeed calling her sister.
"You called Rachel last night," she locked her eyes on his, feeling blonder by the minute. "Anything important?"
That was clever… and so not obvious, --at all.
"Hardly. You know that song "if you like pina coladas"? We were trying to remember the name. It turns out it's called Escape."
So matter-of-factly. So down-to-earth. So innocent. And begging half a dozen additional questions.
When did they meet? Where did they meet? How many times? How did Rachel manage to do that behind her back and without Ella spilling the beans?
"So you two are friends now?" she could not help herself but push.
Her heart raced in her chest. If only those unwanted butterflies would go away. She frowned, her eyebrows rocketing to new level of anxiety. She was under the impression that his smile would not stop going wider and wider and suddenly, she felt trapped. He nodded, seemingly oblivious of her concern and very happy with himself.
"Does that bother you?"
Yes, very happy. Relieved, sort of. His eyes were sparkling.
He knew, --and he was teasing her. That was so unfair; if he ever doubted it, he might know now that she was smitten, she was such an open book.
"No."
It was disturbing, because she needed the sting of jealousy to deal with her infatuation. He had been the one continuously making advances and she had continuously rejected him. First because of John, then because of work, and because she didn't want to go down the same road again.
And… what if Rachel was the closest thing he could get to being with her?
No definitely, that was not right.
Going for the sister? No way…
Her phone rang. Saved by the bell, literally. She turned around, feeling Peter's grin linger on her back.
"Hey, Charlie, what's up?"
Her voice was unsteady, her mind racing.
"Hey, Liv," Charlie rasped, "there's been another sighting on Route 30 near Newton. A woman claimed she saw a monster."
"Could be a cougar or something," she said, in a desperate attempt to sound professional and drive Peter away from her and her office.
"Well, she said she had a pretty good look. She almost hit it. On the other hand, from what I got from Animal Control Unit 81, it could as well be a raccoon…"
Peter paced behind her, coming closer to the desk, leaning over her shoulder to get a peek at her files. She pressed her phone to her ear, bracing against the possibility that he could get any closer. He quietly walked away and finally perched on the console near the coffee machine.
"… but I'm going to check it out anyway. Want to join me?"
So it seems that he wasn't going anywhere.
"Yep, I'll be right there," she said almost cheerfully.
Without another look back, she jumped from her chair, grabbed her coat and scarf and walked briskly out to the lab. Any other time, she would have asked Peter if he wanted to tag along, welcoming the opportunity of a ride to the country with him.
"Astrid," she said, "Charlie just called."
She would explain that she had to leave to meet Charlie. Anything but staying at the lab with Peter. He might have known better since he didn't ask.
"Olivia. Be careful," Walter hailed her. His face was haggard.
"Thank you, Walter," she said, surprised at a wary advice that was so unlike him.
She rushed outside without another look at Peter. She just wished it didn't hurt that much.
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i know it's cheesy, but hey, sue me!