The Rain Song
AN: This is for my buddy WendyWaddles' challenge and dedicated to Shelley who was so bummed out about being sorted into Hufflepuff on Pottermore. Long live the Puffs!
Pomona stood staring at her reflection in the glass. It was late and she should have been finishing up her chores in the greenhouse, but tonight she was finding it difficult to engage herself in her work. It had been a year since the final battle. The greenhouse had been rebuilt and the plants returned to their former glory, but things would never be the same without him. How cruel an ending her darling met that night, alone, misunderstood, ostracized and yet valiantly defying the enemy even in the face of certain defeat.
Oh, now that it was all over everyone jumped on the bandwagon. Of course that was always how these things worked.
"I knew he could not be all bad."
"I knew Dumbledore trusted him for a reason."
"I always thought he was terribly handsome."
"What a tragic figure."
It made Pomona's skin crawl to hear how they spoke of him now, when for years he was socially shunned and alone in the world. He heart ached recalling how she tried so hard to reach him, to make him see that he could find happiness again in the world. To show him that he had value beyond his profession and his work with the order and that he could rise above his heartbreaking past.
She never told him that she loved him. She was at least familiar enough with feminine wiles to know that you couldn't just blurt out your adoration when the mood strikes to a man like Severus Snape. As many unfortunate witches discovered over the years,he found it not only a repugnant display, but also a completely useless bit of information. His heart was permanently engaged elsewhere. She had seen it tragically unfold numerous times over the years with his female co-workers, with Lucius Malfoy's slutty little sister, with the occasional infatuated student and most notoriously with Rita Skeeter. She giggled to herself recalling how he had humiliated Rita by calling her an overdressed sausage. No more than that nosey witch deserved. However for weeks after that she was unable to eat properly, worried that she too might fall into his category of sausage.
The last time they were alone together it was in this very room about a week before the final battle. She was working on her Mandrakes lesson for the following day when he barged in without a word and began angrily hacking away at various plants and stuffing their leaves into vials.
"Gentle Severus...you have to be more diplomatic with these plants. They have feelings." She laid out the last set of earmuffs and went over to help him as he sawed away on a branch.
"Here, hand me those scissors...you sit down. You have looked so terribly tired these last few weeks . Working too hard as usual." He huffed and sat down on a nearby stool, slouching his shoulders forward and looking at his feet.
"When was the last time you had some fresh air? Let's open this window. The lilacs are blooming early with all this warm weather." She opened the window and the light scent drifted over the air. She turned back to find him ignoring her and running his fingers over the leaves of a lily. Wisely, she decided not to comment on his actions but went back to her work.
She worked silently, gently plucking leaves here and there from her beloved plants that were willing to provide for her. Along with the warm breeze came the forlorn but vaguely comforting strains of Led Zeppelin's The Rain Song. Pomona closed her eyes, entranced as always by the lyrics. It is the springtime of my lovin'...
"Damn those Gryffindors!" Severus spat, blowing the mood. "I'm going straight to Minerva after this and tell her to shut them up. Always blasting their music after hours." He was always grumbling about that house.
"Oh Severus let them be young. Besides, I've always thought this song was beautiful."
"I loath it." He hissed while furrowing his brow.
She knew better than to attempt an argument and they fell into a pause with only the music in the background. She continued her work. He focused on the flower in front of him. It was so peaceful that she was startled when he spoke.
"Are some people doomed to be disposed?" He asked softly.
She watched him for a few moments, unsure if this was a rhetorical question or one that required and answer. His eyes met hers with an unreadable expression. She ventured a guess that he wanted an answer but stalled for time. "Severus, why would you ask such a thing?"
His eyes drifted back to the potted lily and he resumed his ministrations. "I am not a good headmaster...not a headmaster at all really...the children and staff loath me. What a farce this has been."
"It has never bothered you before." Drat. Pomona bit her lip before another clumsy observation could fall out of her mouth. He could be terribly imposing when muddled in one of his dark moods. It made her nervous, and she tended to blurt when she was nervous. If it were possible she felt even more dowdy and lacking in grace than usual. She wanted to hide herself in that moment and found a plausible excuse to do so.
"I'll get you a bit of that lavender you asked for last week." The lavender was on the other side of a shade screen and she was able to hid with her flushed cheeks behind it.
"Severus, please don't be too hard on yourself. After all times are different now. There is so much more at stake. Dumbledore could afford to be permissive with these children. You're doing the right things. One day people will look back and know you did the right thing."
He did not respond. Her only response came from Robert Plant far in the distance. I cursed the doom that set upon us. But I know that I love you so.
Perhaps it was because she had a little spring fever, or maybe because she was much older and braver than she used to be. Most likely, it was the combination of the mournful song and the pain evident in his voice tonight. But for whatever the reason, she could keep her secret no longer. While remaining behind the screen, she began her confession.
"Severus, you know, I've had a difficult time this year trying to reconcile what they say you have done, and who I know you to be. I've always found you caring and a good steward of all that was in your charge, even if you are a bit terse at times. Please don't lose faith in yourself. I haven't."
Guitar chords filled the vacancy left by his lack of response. Pomona gulped nervously, but continued. Her hands were sweating and she put the clippers down before she slipped. She took a deep breath and wiped her hands on her dirty smock.
"I've never told you this before Severus...because...well...I mean really what was the point? But we're older now. Each alone here with our work. Why should that be? Why should we be lonely? Why, when there is no one I trust more than you, no one I care more for than you?"
She heard him sigh and could imagine his befuddled expression. However he hadn't belittled her or responded in a negative manner at all. That had to be a good sign. She plucked up every last bit of courage and as she stepped from behind the screen and declared, "I love you Severus."
His back was to her as he sat still facing the lily and stroking the leaves. He was wearing a set of the earmuffs she'd laid out. Her secret passion would remain a secret for now. Pomona sighed heavily. It was just as well. What had she been thinking? She walked over to the table and picked up the spool of twine. He looked up at her and smiled weakly. She cut a piece of twine and used it to neatly tie the lavender into a bouquet and handed it to him with a shy smile. He took it from her hand and removed the earmuffs.
"Thank you Pomona." His warm voice dripped over her like hot candle wax and she felt her nether regions clench.
He stood to leave but walked slowly toward the door. "You know, when laid out next to ambition, courage and intelligence, I've always found loyalty a trivial quality. It's only recently that I've learned that loyalty is a quality more precious than all the others. Hufflepuff is an underrated house. I want to apologize to you for the times I have belittled it. I know I must have wounded you with my words over the years."
"It's all right Severus. I know you didn't mean it." She blushed and looked down.
He opened the door but before leaving turned to her. "Those earmuffs are defective. Better tend to them before your lesson tomorrow."
Her heart became stuck in her throat and she couldn't choke out the words. She merely nodded. Then with a flow of black robes, he was gone.