Stick With Me
It had been twenty one years since she'd last seen him. Twenty one years ago, she'd been abandonded by her husband, just after she'd become pregnant, all because of his fear of what the consequences would be for her and their unborn child. Teddy was now twenty, and had often asked about his father, but she had never been able to tell him the truth. Nymphadora Lupin, or Tonks, as she was more commonly known, wasn't sure she had ever admitted the truth to even herself.
No one ever knew how much losing him had hurt her. She had never let her pain show, but instead made jokes and frequently changed her hair from it's usual bright pink, to a violent shade of violet, despite the fact that she thought it made her look peaky. She never let the tears fall in public, letting them fall in private was bad enough.
A knock at her front door shattered these thoughts, and as she stood up to answer it, she had to fight to keep the tears from falling. She opened the door to reveal a pair of somewhat apprehensive-looking eyes..Eyes she hadn't seen for years.
"Remus?" it was a whisper, as if she did not dare to believe her eyes.
"Can I come in?" he asked.
She stepped aside, allowing him to enter. The question she dared not ask lingered between them like a ghost.
"So...why are you here?"
He refused to meet her eyes, staring at the floor.
"I–um, I see now that I was wrong, so I decided to come back. I know I was a coward to walk away from you and the baby, and–"
All at once, the self-control she had managed to have shattered.
"You see now that you were wrong????" she screamed. "Twenty one years! Twenty one years, Remus! It took you that long to see reason???"
She backed into the kitchen, and winced as she smacked into the counter top.
"Tonks..."
"No, Remus! What you've done is inexcusable. You left me to raise our child alone! In the midst of a war!"
She reached behind her, and grabbed the first object she found. She aimed a blow at his head with the heavy frying pan, a gift from Hermione that she had never quite figured out how to use, but missed when he dodged out of her reach.
"Mum...what's going on?"
"Teddy!" Tonks cried, trying to hide the large pan and failing.
"Who's that?" the young man asked, gesturing to Lupin with the pen in his hand.
"Well, umm..Teddy..this is—your father."
There was a clatter as the pen fell to the floor. Teddy glanced at Lupin, as if expecting him to correct her, but when he didn't, the young man's mouth nearly fell open in shock. He looked to his mother, whose hair had grown to her shoulders and was shielding her face from view.
"I expect you have some catching up to do." she said softly.
Teddy did not particularly want to talk to the man who had deserted his mother when she had needed him most, but felt he had no other option, so he led the way into the living room, sitting on the couch. Lupin took a seat next to him, not sure of what to say.
"So, what is your career?" he asked.
"I work at the Ministry." Teddy replied.
"That's nice. I expect it is better now that there is a new Minister."
Teddy nodded. Lupin sat next to his son, uncomfortable at meeting him twenty one years after his birth, and feeling remorse for his actions. He could see Tonks in the boy, but he could also see himself.
"Son.." it felt strange to say the word. "I want you to know that when I left your mother, I never meant to hurt her or you. You hadn't even been born yet, but when I found out she was pregnant, I–"
"You walked out on us? You ditched us, and you say you never meant to hurt us?" Teddy exploded.
"Is everything okay in there?" Tonks called from the kitchen.
"Yeah, mum. Everything's—is that smoke?"
"Umm..Yeah." she answered somewhat sheepishly. "I was trying to get the stove to light itself, and it sort of..caught fire."
She coughed slightly, and Lupin jumped up.
"Tonks!!"
He rushed in and was greeted by smoke billowing from the stove. He pulled out his wand and extinguished the fire with one simple motion, looking at Tonks, bewildered .
"I never could get the hang of those household spells.." Tonks said.
"No kidding.." Lupin muttered.
Tonks blushed slightly, and walked toward the living room, tripping over the umbrella stand as she did so. Lupin watched her go, and wanted nothing more than to apologize for all the pain he had surely caused. Teddy walked up the long flight of stairs, clearly not eager to continue their earlier discussion. Lupin followed in the direction Tonks had gone, and found her sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the floor, her head in her hands.
"Tonks?"
She jumped, startled, and it became apparent to Lupin that she had not known he was there.
"Tonks, we need to talk. Now."
She still could not bring herself to face him, and moved over just enough to allow him to be seated next to her.
"Tonks..I want to apologize. I should have listened to Harry."
"What do you mean?" she asked softly.
"When I left, Harry told me I was making a mistake, and that I should have stayed with you. Then he called me a coward—"
"Harry told you to stay and that you were making a mistake, and you still walked out on us??" she said, her voice breaking.
"Yes, and I know I should have listened to him, but I was being ridiculous. I thought I had made a grave mistake in marrying you. I did marry you, of course, but it was against my better judgement."
"What???"
"Tonks..listen to me. I see now that I was wrong to believe that. I was just scared. My fear made me behave very irrationally. For that, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I was wrong. Please."
She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had to literally beg him to see reason enough to marry her in the first place, and then when he finally did, making her the happiest she had ever been, he tells her that it was against his better judgement? As if her mind were floating, she remembered the day she had first told Harry of their marriage...
Harry led them all back to the kitchen where, laughing and chattering, they settled on chairs, sat themselves on Aunt Petunia's gleaming work surfaces, or leaned up against her spotless appliances: Ron, long and lanky; Hermoine, her bushy hair tied back in a long plait; Fred and George, grinning identically; Bill, badly scarred and long-haired; Mr. Weasley, kind-faced, balding, his spectacles a little awry; Mad-Eye, battle-worn, one-legged, his bright blue magical eye whizzing in its socket; Tonks, whose short hair was her favorite shade of bright pink; Lupin, grayer, more lined; Fleur, slender and beautiful, with her long silvery blonde hair; Kingsley, bald, black broad-shouldered; Hagrid, with his wild hair and beard, standing hunchbacked to avoid hitting his head on the ceiling; and Mundungus Fletcher, small dirty and hangdog, with his droopy basset hound eyes and matted hair...
"Harry, guess what?" said Tonks from her perch on top of the washing machine, and she wiggled her left hand at him; a ring glittered there.
"You got married?" Harry yelped, looking from her to Lupin.
They had all been so happy then..In spite of everything that had been going on at the time, there had still been a little more love in the world, and in the end, that love had triumphed over the evil that had been Lord Voldemort. They had all been alive...There was no way they could have known that on that very night, Mad-Eye would be killed, and George would lose one of his ears.
"Tonks?"
Lupin's voice brought her back to reality. He was looking at her intently, as if trying to read her mind. She looked up at him, her eyes revealing the intense pain she felt, though her face remained blank. She didn't respond, and waited for him to continue. He said no more, but stood up and walked across the room to peer out the window, buying himself a little more time.
"Can you ever forgive me?"
He turned to face her, and his view was obstructed. She had bounded across the room and thrown herself at him, wrapping her arms around him. Lupin was slightly amused at her childlike behaviour, but knew he would not have her any other way.
"I forgive you. The real question is can you forgive yourself?"
He stood still for a moment, thinking it over.
"I think so." he finally answered.
"Well, does this help?"
She leaned up and kissed him gently. He closed his eyes and savoured every moment: her sweet-smelling hair, the feel of her being back in his arms, the taste of her..
"A little bit." he said, smiling.
"How about a little bit more.." she whispered.
This time it was Lupin who leaned down to her, kissing her gently at first, then picking her up and swinging her in a circle, his desire for her mounting with each passing moment. They finally broke apart, when the need for oxygen became too great to ignore.
"I've missed you."
It was a soft whisper, but it meant more than if it had been shouted.
"Oh, Remus...I've missed you too."
Tonks could hear Teddy coming down the stairs, and she stepped away from Lupin, blushing slightly.
"Mum..is he going to stay with us this time?" he asked.
"Do you want him to?"
Looking from Tonks to Lupin, he slowly nodded. After all, his mother was finally happy, and that was all Teddy had ever wanted: to see his mother genuinely smile. They could finally be a true family again. For the first time in twenty one years, all was as it should be.