Chocoholic's Choice

I was just sitting there, minding my own business, when Ziva came in with a little white box. I had seen boxes like that before, so I was pretty sure I knew what was in it. The question was who was it for?

Ziva called Abby up from her lab. Great, it's not for me. Then again I haven't really done anything to warrant a reward.

When Abby finally got upstairs, she opened the box with her back to me. The powerful scent wafted over to me and drew me to it. I have no recollection of standing up or walking over to Ziva's desk, but that's exactly where I ended up.

I let the delicious aroma wash over me, making my stomach grumble. "Oh, that smells great…"

I inhaled deeply; only vaguely aware of the conversation that was taking place around me. Tony tried to do the unacceptable. He reached out to touch the cupcake, to taste its creamy frosting, but Abby slapped his hand. "Don't you dare!"

She picked up the box and quickly stepped over to the other side of Ziva's desk, thus interrupting my visual feast, only to treat me with another.

Ziva and Abby hugged each other tightly. Of course, Tony took it too far. "Slumber party… you two spent the night together," he turned to look at me, "What's going on here, McGee?"

I snapped out of my trance. "Don't know, don't care. None of my business," I may have even called him 'DiNozzi,' but I'm not really sure.

I followed the cupcake. Abby rushed away, looking at me suspiciously from over her shoulder. I wonder if she'll share. She said she was going gluten free this week… Surely that cupcake does not make the list of approved foods.

Gibbs entered the squad room, dashing my hopes of getting some of that scrumptious looking dessert. He was making us go to Rock Creek Park to investigate the death of a Lieutenant Commander. I will get some of that cupcake if it kills me.

…

Nothing out of the ordinary happened at the crime scene until Gibbs told us to hurry up and then left without another word, which was highly unusual, even for Gibbs.

Tony was still hung up on Ziva staying at Abby's apartment. It's always about sex when it comes to Tony; he doesn't seem to understand that Abby and Ziva are not those kinds of women. They would never do anything like what he was imagining, or hoping for.

I tried to focus on processing the scene, but my mind kept wandering back to the cupcake that would probably be denied to me by Abby. I didn't believe that she would really share it with me; she was nice, but not that nice.

Small drops of water began to fall down around me, so I picked up my pace a little; I needed to process the entire scene before evidence was lost. I had to focus all my energy on finishing quickly. The sooner I'm done with the scene, the sooner I can try to get a piece of that cupcake.

…

One more stop, and then I can beg Abby to share. We pulled up to the victim's apartment and went inside, immediately scattering to find out whatever we could about her. Ziva started by looking at photos and cards; Tony darted into the bathroom, probably to snoop around in the medicine cabinet; I grabbed the black light out of my kit to start looking for biological substances.

From the other room, Ziva said something about a birthday. I didn't hear the whole sentence, due to a loud gurgling noise emanating from my stomach. "Am I the only one that's starving? I haven't eaten since lunch…"

Tony offered me some of the victim's pizza, and I was tempted to take it, but I didn't. Food would just have to wait.

…

I unloaded a large box of evidence from the truck whilst formulating the best plan of attack, or begging, to get Abby to share her little piece of chocolaty goodness with me. Should I outright beg, or should I play it cool?

My internal debate lasted my entire journey down to the lab. I poked my head in through the door; there was no sign of Abby. I wonder where she is…

I went inside and set the evidence on the table. All of the time that I had spent thinking up the best way to get some of that cupcake had been for naught.

Suddenly, I was stuck by a brilliant plan. It was risky, but if I was successful, it would be well worth it. I scanned the hallway for any signs of life. Nothing- the coast was clear. I reentered the lab and went over to the fridge. It was full of chemicals that, under normal circumstances, would fascinate me, but they were not what I was looking for.

My eyes swept the refrigerator from left to right. Ten percent hydrogen chloride, one percent sodium chloride, little white box, barium sulfide, wait… little white box… cupcake! I reached out towards the handle of the fridge. Ah, no! I can't leave any fingerprints!

I darted out to check the hall again; there was still no one there. I grabbed a pair of latex gloves out of the relatively full box next to the microscope and pulled them on. I carefully went back to the fridge pulled the door back. I shouldn't be doing this. I lifted the lid on the white box.

There it was, in all of its chocolaty glory. Every second thought I had dissipated as I began to salivate. I removed the cupcake from the box.

I went over to the trashcan and stood over it, devouring the cupcake as quickly as I could. Crumbs fell straight down and were lost in the abyss of used rubber gloves and other trash.

It tasted even better than it smelled. I had thought I was in Heaven when its aroma had first snared me, but that could not have been right, unless there was somewhere better than Heaven. If such a place existed, then that's where I was as I took each delectable bite of the treat.

It was very sweet and rich, but not to the point where it became difficult to eat. The frosting was light and creamy, as it should be, and the sprinkles were divine. A thin layer of chocolate drizzle lay hidden between the frosting and the cake; finding it was an amazing surprise, like searching for a quarter in between the couch cushions and finding a twenty dollar bill. The cake was perfectly moist, and every once in a while, I came across a small chunk of milk chocolate that left me aching for more. To top it all off, the very middle of the cake was saturated with a fudge-like cream that begged me to consume it. Every last bite melted in my mouth, despite having been chilled by the refrigerator.

All too soon, the dessert was gone, and I was left with only my chocolate smeared latex gloves and the that had protected the cupcake as I held it delicately in my unworthy hands. I probably should have felt bad for taking what was not mine, but I didn't. It was worth every last second of anything that had ever happened to me in my life. Every time that I had been made fun of, every time that someone had played a mean joke on me, every time that someone had hurt me, every time that Tony called me something other than my name, was right again.

The temptation to lick the chocolate off of the gloves was almost unbearable, but I resisted, reminding myself that there could be traces of chemicals on them that I should not ingest. I closed my fist around the paper and pulled of the first glove, before pulling the second glove over it. I was about to toss them into the trash, but I decided that it would probably be better to dispose of them elsewhere; I did not want this crime to be traced back to me. I slid them into my pocket, promising myself that I would dispose of them in a high-traffic area the first chance I got, and then left the room and went back to work as if nothing had happened.

…

I went down to Abby's lab. Someone upstairs had told me that Tony was looking for me and that he had gone down to see Abby about some evidence. "Hey, you looking for me Tony?" I said, entering the room.

Tony, Ziva, and Abby were all standing in a little clump in its center. "No, I am," Abby said, taking a step forward.

Uh-oh, this can't be good. What if she knows that I'm the one that took her cupcake? I just have to stay calm. Deny, deny, deny!

"Do you think I'm an idiot?"

Deny!

"No."

Good one, Tim. Keep it simple.

"What? You thought I wouldn't figure it out?"

Oh crap, she knows. I've got to flip this around, make it sound like she doesn't know what she's saying.

"What is she talking about?"

Nice and smooth, talk about her like she isn't even there.

"The cupcake…" Ziva clarified.

Oh no, this is worse than I thought. She's already got Tony and Ziva turned against me.

"You stole it from my refrigerator."

Yeah, she knows.

"I have forensic evidence."

She does?

"Your big, fat fingerprint!"

Whew, I thought she actually had something on me. There's no way that she has my fingerprint; I wore gloves! But I can't tell her that.

"Oh come on, you think I'm that stupid? If I was going to steal your precious cupcake, I would not leave a fingerprint on your refrigerator."

Nice save.

"You didn't."

I know. Wait, I didn't?

"You used latex gloves. Brand new box McGee, only prints- mine and yours," she shoved the box in my face.

Crap.

"You said you were going gluten free!"

"Where is it McGee?"

Switch tactics! Since denying won't get me anywhere, I'll have to play the 'I was only trying to help you' card.

"I was saving you from yourself, Abby."

Good, make it sound like you really care if Abby goes gluten free or not.

"Where did you save it, McGee?"

Damn, she's persistent. This isn't going to work. I have to come clean now, before I dig myself an even deeper hole.

"Okay, I ate it. It was late, I hadn't eaten since lunch. The machine in the break room was empty, and it looked so good," I explained.

Tony stepped forward to give me a hug. "What were you thinking McGee?" he said quietly into my ear, "She's a world-class forensic scientist," he slapped on the back of the head.

"Thank you, Tony," Abby sounded grateful.

"I bought the cupcake for Abby," Ziva snarled, slapping me as Tony had just done, though thankfully it was a gentler slap.

"So," Abby stepped up again so that she was directly in front of me, "How was it?"

Be honest, Tim, it will get this over with sooner.

"It was life changing."

Abby scowled. "Book him Danno!"

For the first time in a while, I was glad when Gibbs came in to the lab. He gave me something else to do for the case, sending me upstairs and away from Abby's wrath. Hopefully she'll cool down while I'm working…

…

I was sitting at my desk, finishing up my report for Gibbs; Tony and Ziva had long since left, probably to go to a bar somewhere. Abby had also left, still visibly upset about my betrayal. Out of nowhere, a large pair of hands slammed down on the desk in front of me. "What did you do to make Abby so upset?" he asked in a calm voice that contradicted the furious expression on his face.

"Boss, I'm sorry. I was just so hungry!" I blurted.

"You're the cupcake thief, aren't you?"

"Yes," I hung my head in shame.

Gibbs rolled his chair over to me and sat in front of my desk. "McGee, this conversation isn't happening. If anyone asks you what we talked about today, you will lie. Is that clear?" he gave me his famous stare.

"Yes, boss," I agreed, nervous for the ass-reaming that was sure to follow such a warning, though under normal circumstances, he would have taken me to the elevator first.

To my surprise, his expression softened. "McGee, you have deeply hurt her. She is not just angry, she's disappointed. That's when you know it's bad."

"I know. I was going to ask, but she wasn't in there when I went to drop off the evidence, and I was really hungry, so I just took it."

"McGee, you can try and explain all you want, but it isn't going to change anything. You violated her trust, and its going to take a while for that to come back. You'll need to prove yourself to her."

"What can I do?"

"Nothing really; sure you will buy her a new cupcake, and you will apologize continually until she yells at you to stop, but you have to wait. She will forgive you when she's ready to. Of course, that doesn't mean that she won't bring it up again when you really annoy her."

He got up and left without another word. I sighed and rose as well. I rolled his chair back to his desk and left my report next to the computer. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I should have bought my own damn cupcake.