MASKS by Kondoru
In which the Force Peanut Gallery discuss the difference between Kylo Ren and Darth Vader.
Thanks to JP for Beataing.
Standard Disclaimers
"The Force moves on." Said Obi wan Kenobi.
The deceased Jedi were busy meditating on the uniqueness of their condition, that and desultorily continuing the endless discourse on the True Nature of the Force.
They had all the time in the Cosmos, after all.
Next to him the bat eared green grandmaster sat, lost in thought. "Turbulence in the Force, there is."
Obi-wan shook his head sadly. "Kylo Ren is madder than a box of Gungans." He scuffled his feet. "The Force is pretty messed up these days."
"I blame the fall of the Jedi." Said Kit Fisto.
"I blame Disney." Said Mara Jade (Who was now in Force limbo due to the sudden demise of the EU.)
"I blame Ezra Bridger" said Asaji Ventress, who was still confused.
"We all blame Darth Vader." said Shaak Ti. Several deceased Jedi shouted their assent.
"Him, do you think? Anakin ask, we must." Yoda got to his wee bare feet. (He did not need a stick in the afterlife.) "You're Padawan, see we must."
Obi-wan followed.
Anakin Skywalker, the Chosen One and Redeemed Sith was sat in the Naughty Corner, as was his wont. Anywhere else and he would be given a good hiding by his many victims. He went pale as his tormentors came marching up headed by Obi-wan and Yoda himself. He was long overdue a kicking, and worse of all, he could not fight back, as that was the act of a Sith, and Anakin tried to behave himself these days. Anything Sithlike and he would probably spend the next hundred years stuck in that hated suit.
"What do you know of Kylo Ren?" asked Obi-wan.
Anakin Skywalker groaned. His delinquent grandson was a dishonour to Jedi and Sith alike. "Well, it seems like my miserable daughter managed to marry a smuggler and has spawned a Sith." Anakin said helpfully. "Or, a guy who `thinks` he is a Sith..." He qualified.
Obi-wan scratched his beard. "He's not Darth Vader."
Anakin gave a barking laugh. "I'm not Darth Vader." (Several Jedi shouted their disagreement.)
Yoda looked all smug, (his main skill.) "Obvious, is it not?"
Qui-gon sauntered up, hands in robe pockets, eager to see what these notorious spirits were up to. "What is obvious?" There really was little to divert anyone in the Afterlife. (Hence all the beatings for Ex Sith.)
"Darth Vader, under the mask, man he is. Kylo Ren's Mask hides a monster."
Anakin nodded wisely. "So that is why he's so ready to shed it, then." He mused. "He wants the Galaxy to see what a monster he really is. Faugh!" he spat.
Yoda smiled "Unworthy to lick your shadow, he is."
Anakin clenched his fists. (Insubstantial but now flesh.) "Unworthy to lick Darth Vaders shadow; you mean. Why must he disturb my meditations with prayers? I need my beauty sleep in order to polish my tarnished soul."
"Is that your skull, there, Annie?" Asked Qui-gon helpfully.
Anakin bristled. "How dare he! He is not worthy to fondle my remains! Only Doctor Aphra gets to touch my body!" He started to weep.
Oni-wan put a hand on his misbegotten padawans shoulders. "We have news of Luke."
"I see your son has got a job working for UNESCO, Anakin." Qui-gon added. "Some Skywalker has done good."
"On Skellig Michael, apparently." (1)
"Oh." said Anakin helplessly.
"Now! Bundle!" Qui-gon shouted and the ex Sith was suddenly buried under a scrum of brown robed bodies.
Death was going on as usual.
(1) All together now; "THATS MY KRIFFIN SITE!" Not that I've ever been to Skellig Michael, but I am a veteran of extreme island going.