The sun spread cold across the barren horizon of the west district, pouring light into the new morning but emitting no warmth. Shion stood in the face of it, surveying the outskirts of the bleak landscape that had claimed him as its own. A landscape of outcasts, fugitives, those renounced and denied by society. The society he once knew well...
Shion sighed and looked back toward the slum. He had dog-washing to do; Dogkeeper would sharpen her tongue on his ears if he arrived late.
"Don't tell me you're standing here contemplating the beauty of the dawn." A voice broke in on the quiet moment, a voice Shion was startled to hear.
"Nezumi-!" He walked with his hands in the pockets of his jacket, smirking into his cloak, his eyes narrow with impish mirth. The vapor of his breath rose on the cold air. "You should know that around here the sun is merely a marker of time. It brings no promises." He stopped beside Shion, looking out at the horizon.
"People all too often think that a new day will be different than the one before." He closed his eyes and stretched nonchalantly. "They're the first to die here." Shion's breath hitched in his throat, but he said nothing. Nezumi opened one eye to look sideways at him, an eye that seemed to grin wryly.
"Hope kills. You expect things to work out so you don't prepare for when they don't. You're just waiting for nothing."
"That's...not hope."
The words took Nezumi by surprise. He looked fully at Shion, who was consumed in his thought.
"Hope gives you...something to survive for. It's hopelessness that paralyzes people, because they assume no battle is worth fighting."
They stood in silence for a few heartbeats as the wind pulled its fingers through their hair and their clothes. Nezumi's startled expression gave way to his previous cynical one, his eyes settling back into slits of ash. He chuckled. "You never fail to prove to me why I've kept you around."
"What do you mean?" Shion broke his concentration, puzzled.
Nezumi chuckled again, slipping his arm around Shion and steering him in the direction of the west district. "Don't mind it. C'mon, I bet Dogkeeper is furious at you about now. I don't want to be held responsible or she'll have both our heads."
"Where the hell have you been!" Dogkeeper's chocolate irises sparked with annoyance. Her tanned, soap-studded arms gestured impatiently at the dogs lying about her. "They don't wash themselves!"
"That's my cue." Nezumi's arm fell from Shion's shoulders and he began to walk quickly away.
"Not so fast, weasel. You kidnapped my worker, didn't you? Nezumi stopped and looked back at her with childish mischief. "I did nothing of the sort. You're quick to blame, aren't you?"
"You're the only one that's ever to blame!" Dogkeeper sputtered, flinging suds across the clay ground.
"Calm your tits. I returned him, didn't I?"
"So you admit to taking him in the first place! Fucking liar!"
Nezumi turned his back and began walking again, waving flippantly at Dogkeeper as he receded from sight. "I'm not done with you!" Dogkeeper sprang to her feet, but the moment to attack was lost. She grunted in annoyance, tossing her disheveled hair back into place. Her irritable energy refocused on Shion. "What are you doing just standing there? Is your head hollow or something!" Shion bowed his head quickly. "Sorry, ma'am."
Dogkeeper's eyes widened disbelievingly. "Ma'am-!" she snorted. "Did you really just-?" She bent over, wracked with laughter, holding her sides with amusement. Shion took up her sponge and began washing a dog, wanting no further scolding. He watched her outburst bewilderedly.
Dogkeeper straightened, flicking a tear out of her eye. "You're a great kid, Shion. Too bad that bastard you call a friend is gonna corrupt it out of you."
"I've never called him my friend." Shion didn't look up from his task. Dogkeeper stopped smiling and stared at him quizzically.
"You're a tough one to figure out," she mumbled, more to herself than to Shion. She set about filling up another bucket and resumed her work.
"Are you going to the theater tonight? To see Nezumi?" Dogkeeper spat out a syllable of laughter. "I don't have the money to spare, and if I did, I'd spend it on something worth my time."
"Beauty isn't worth your time?" Shion asked earnestly.
"Geez, Shion, if you swell Nezumi's ego any more he'll float away."
"I'm going to see him tonight. You should come with me."
"He doesn't want either of us there, you know."
"That's not a problem to me." Shion cocked his head and smiled innocently. Dogkeeper smirked. "You look like one of my dogs when you do that. The answer's still no." Shion said nothing more. Dogkeeper eyed him shrewdly, guessing his intention. "You don't know the way to the theater, do you?"
Shion laughed, embarrassed. "No, I don't."
"Well, just this once I'll tell you for free. Annoying that bastard is payment enough."
As night drew its curtains over the day Shion washed his last dog and made his way over to the theater. The once extravagant stone building loomed over a crowd of people huddled at its entrance. A large, rather frenzied man was attempting in vain to coax the patrons into a line. He soon gave up and haphazardly began taking payment from those nearest him. "It never changes," he muttered sullenly.
"Shion!"
Shion whirled around to find Rikiga pushing toward him, head and shoulders above most everyone else.
"Rikiga-!"
"What are you doing out here?" His brows were drawn with concern.
"Ever since you mentioned he's an actor, I've really wanted to see Nezumi perform."
Rikiga's face softened. "You mean Eve."
"What?"
"You'll see."
They fell into their own thoughts, surrounded by the hum of people moving slowly through the open doors. When he got to the stairs, Shion lifted himself on his toes to peek inside. The space was broad, with rows of staggered seating sloping down from the high ceiling to meet the stage. Each seat was tattered, and protested with puffs of dust and ominous creaks as people filled them. The stage was simple, constructed of wood. The wall behind it was composed of plaster, crumbling to reveal a skeleton of beams beneath.
"It's beautiful," Shion breathed.
"Isn't it?" Rikiga agreed.
The noise settled into a charged whisper as Shion and Rikiga found their seats, and a tall, well-built man stepped into the spotlight.
"Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to welcome you this evening. I'm sure you all know of tonight's opening entertainment. The lovely Eve..." He trailed off as a cheer rose in the seats. "...performing Queen Margaret's monologue from The Second Part of Henry the Sixth, act three, scene two, by William Shakespeare. Please enjoy!"
He exited and left silence behind him. The stage stood empty, anticipating along with the crowd. Shion held his breath subconsciously.
Applause erupted even before Eve was fully on stage. She dragged her feet in a languishing trail with sorrow in her face, completely absorbed in the role, unfazed by the applause. She stopped center and spread pleading hands before her. The applause died down.
"Be woe for me, more wretched than he is. What, dost thou turn away, and hide thy face? I am no loathsome leper. Look on me. What? Art thou like the adder waxen deaf? Be poisonous too, and kill thy forlorn queen." Each movement flowed through the air as freely as wings. The lamenting voice rose and fell into the very corners of the room. Shion sat in awe of the world he found himself in, the world Eve created.
"The splitting rocks cower'd in the sinking sands and would not dash me with their ragged sides, because thy flinty heart, more hard than they, might in thy palace perish Margaret."
"There you have it," Rikiga whispered. Shion barely heard him. His eyes drank the presence on stage, unable to even blink for fear of missing a nuance, a movement.
"Am I not witch'd like her? or thou not false like him? Ay me, I can no more! Die, Margaret! For Henry weeps that thou dost live so long." The end of the performance was aptly punctuated by a sudden darkening of the stage. The applause and cheers returned heartily. Shion stood, moisture in his eyes. Rikiga stood as well. They were soon followed by the rest of the audience.
The light came on again. Eve curtsied somberly and made her exit. Shion made no move to wipe his face.
The man from before returned. "I invite all of you to come back for a splendid musical performance later, but if this is the last time we meet this evening, have a wonderful night!"
Rikiga handed Shion a handkerchief as he gently guided the boy down the row of seats. "I take it you enjoyed it, then?"
"It was...he was...the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." Shion ducked out from under Rikiga's hand and made a dash for the door. Rikiga startled and went after him.
"Where are you going!"
"I have to find him!" Shion called over his shoulder. "I have to tell him..." He flew outside. Rikiga gave up the chase and stopped, panting, at the threshold, watching Shion until he disappeared behind the theater.
Shion found Nezumi around the corner, conversing with some stragglers.
"Nezumi!"
Nezumi jumped at the all too familiar voice.
"Shion! What the fuck-"
Before he could say another word Shion had somehow shoved through the other people and come right up to him. "You're incredible! That performance...why didn't you want me to see Eve?"
Nezumi cringed at his stage name. "Damn it, Shion. You really can't leave anything alone, can you?" He burst out of the group, pulling Shion roughly behind him. "We're going home."
"Nezumi-" Shion stumbled as Nezumi strode quickly away from the theater.
"What were you thinking? Coming here on your own, at night!" Nezumi kept his face forward.
"It was alright. I ran into Rikiga."
"That makes it even worse. That means he was there too." Nezumi looked as if he had a headache. Shion stumbled as he was dragged along. "I still don't understand-"
"No, you don't. There is danger here. You don't have eyes for the danger around you."
Shion looked thoughtful. "You're right. I wasn't thinking about the danger. I was only thinking about seeing you." He perked up a little. "I guess I only have eyes for you."
Nezumi stopped walking, face unreadable, voice carefully even. "You need to watch what you say, too. Haven't I told you that before?"
They stood in the echoes of the west district nightlife, the black sky arching above them.
"I'm sorry, Nezumi."
Nezumi sighed in frustration and started walking again. "Forget it. We're almost there."
Shion sat in bed, head in the clouds, half-focused on a book as he waited for Nezumi to finish bathing. The room was animated with the smell of simmering soup and the mild tittering of mice. The bookshelves rose familiarly against the walls. The lanterns were soft beacons in the darkness. It was altogether comforting. Shion lay back. Nezumi came out of the bathroom in a pair of dark pants, attempting to tie up his rather uncooperative hair. Shion watched from his pillow as he did so, gazing at the fluidity of muscles carved by years of life in the west district. Muscles borne of necessity. Coiled springs. Shion's gaze unfocused and he sighed. How impenetrable they seemed. All hard lines and flat surfaces. Coldly, sharply alluring...
Nezumi caught him zoning out. He walked up to him and waved a hand in front of his face. "Heeey, Shion..."
Shion jumped and looked up. "Oh-I guess I got lost in my head."
Nezumi smiled and ruffled flaxen hair. "I'm sure your head would be a very interesting place to visit."
"I don't know about that..." Shion smiled tentatively. He seemed to be forgiven. Nezumi noticed the book in Shion's lap. "Ah, the sonnets of Shakespeare?"
Shion nodded.
"Good choice." He sat down next to Shion. "Do you have a favorite so far?"
"Number 12."
Nezumi lay down, hands behind his head. "'And nothing 'gainst Time's scythe can make defence save breed, to brave him when he takes thee hence.' Very famous."
"I wrote one."
Nezumi stared at an unreadable Shion. "What, a Shakespearean sonnet?"
"I wrote one in my head while I was waiting for you."
Nezumi leaned in, intrigued. "Let's hear it."
"There is a part of you that no one sees,
For you assign no meaning to its name.
Though it exists, you bring it to its knees,
And shackle it, its voice deprived of fame.
I know you well enough and came to terms
With hearing only whispers now and then,
But every time a whisper my way worms,
I only itch to hear the voice again.
And though you laugh me off, push me aside,
Trivialize my words with frequent grins,
I feel that unnamed essence stir inside
And soon enough your better nature wins.
So even now the moon still finds the time
To shine upon and dance across your eyes."
Shion finished, eyes averted. "I wrote that about you," he said simply.
Nezumi yanked Shion's head up. "So that's what you think of me?"
"Yes."
There was a trembling moment of tension. Then Nezumi's touch softened on Shion's face. "I have to say, you're not a bad poet." He trailed the back of his hand across Shion's scar. "Better than Id've thought." Suddenly he was very close.
"Reading suits you."
Shion felt one of Nezumi's legs slide between his, slender and smooth under pants fabric. "It can't be helped. Who told you I could be seduced with iambic pentameter?" Nezumi kept his face deliberately hidden in Shion's chest. Shion took him into his arms. "No one." They stayed like that for awhile, among mice and soup. Nezumi then turned onto his back, maneuvering Shion over top of him. "You came up with all this by yourself, then? My, they grow up fast."
Shion noted that Nezumi's typical offhand remarks felt somehow out of place, and suddenly realized what Nezumi was doing. He was saving face. Regaining composure. Composure he'd lost...Emotion overtook him at this instance of vulnerability. He was tearful as he leaned in closer to Nezumi. His voice was barely a whisper. "You've made me so happy."
"What are you talking about?" Nezumi played ignorant. Shion smiled at the weak denial, blinking away the threatening overflow. He was once again aware of the taller boy's form; his eyes strayed toward the cold, sharp lines, now rendered in such a different light. Shion's face grew warm. A different light indeed...
Nezumi followed Shion's line of sight down his body and smiled smugly. "You're burning me."
Shion's eyes jerked back to Nezumi's, abashed. "Er..."
Nezumi laid a finger on Shion's nose, eyes glinting. "I don't remember saying 'look but don't touch.'"
Nezumi's body arched reflexively as Shion explored it with gentle hands. Hands which, once soft with ease of life, had calloused a little.
"Shion..."
"Yes?"
Shion raised his head. His usual inquiring, open-book countenance was nowhere to be seen, replaced with low-lidded eyes and a hint of a smile on slightly parted lips. His breath puffed on Nezumi's chest. "His majesty is rather forward with his servants, isn't he?" Nezumi flashed a cocky smile. It quickly disappeared as Shion's hand came to rest on his upper thigh. Shion cut through Nezumi's bravado like a knife. He was wise to it now. "Don't be nervous."
"Are you serious? Why the hell would you think-" He cut off as Shion began rubbing his thumb back and forth on the area just shy of his groin. It tingled.
"You keep yourself hidden so much of the time." Shion's other hand found the space between Nezumi's curved back and the bed and spread up the side of his waist." What are you afraid of?"
"You," Nezumi gasped. Don't waste your time doing things for others. Live only for yourself. Were those not words he'd spoken to Shion?
"I'm scared shitless of the lengths I go for you."
Shion stopped all movement. "You're telling me...you're afraid of love?" He jostled himself further between Nezumi's knees to be level with his face and tenderly unfurled the fists Nezumi had clenched at his sides. "Emotion is nothing to fear."
"Isn't it? Emotion is the purest aspect of humanity. That also makes it the most vulnerable." Their faces were but centimeters apart.
"But that's why it needs to be expressed. Didn't you listen to my sonnet?"
"Every word." Nezumi lifted his chin defiantly. "How does that make you feel? Powerful? Triumphant?"
"It makes me hopeful that someday you'll stop hiding from me."
With that Shion vanished the space between them. The kiss was small, soft, but laden with the words Shion had spoken. Shion pressed into Nezumi and squeezed his hands. Nezumi smirked. "You know what I think of hope."
"I'll just have to fight harder, then," Shion retorted. His tongue met Nezumi's neck. Nezumi could feel his mouth curved in a smile against his skin. "What are you grinning at?" Shion moved up to his ear, taking the lobe playfully between his teeth.
"I see. You're speechless with joy at doing this to a beauty like me, eh?" Nezumi rested his arms loosely across Shion's lower back.
The second kiss was deeper, stirring an impulse in a lower place. It gained momentum; the two opened their lips and their tongues filled the new spaces. Neither kept their eyes open. Shion's hands absently slid down Nezumi's torso until their edges met waistband. Nezumi was hypersensitive to the touch.
"Someone's not aware of their body."
Shion looked at Nezumi questioningly, but quickly realized himself. Pink rose in his cheeks. He didn't retreat.
"Aren't you charming. Look at your face." Nezumi's voice lost some of its edge, no longer taunting but, well, charmed. The change emboldened Shion a little. He slipped a hand under the band, testing the waters.
"Um, Nezumi..." He hesitated, unsure and self-conscious.
Nezumi did nothing but smile at him, eyebrows raised. "Your move."
Their mouths soon found each other again, but Nezumi's pants and undergarments became hopelessly lost.
Nezumi launched his own attack, grabbing the edges of Shion's cardigan and shirt and pulling both of them over his head in one go. "Your turn." He pushed Shion up and reached for the button on his pants, but decided the opportunity was too choice to ignore. He ran a finger down Shion's front slowly, teasingly. Shion winced. "Nn-" Nezumi grasped the button and made a show of undoing it. He unzipped the zipper at a maddening pace. His hands slid around and worked Shion's pants off him in the time it would take a snail to do so.
"Nezu-ah-" Shion tightened in his underwear. Nezumi felt the change near his hands as he set about ridding Shion of the constricting garment and grinned in victory.
"And how does That feel, my dear majesty?" Shion was now as red as his scar all over. Nezumi pulled Shion down on top of him again and pressed his mouth to Shion's collarbone.
"Well now." His breath was hot on Shion's skin. "It seems you're ready to have your way with me, eh?"
"Me?" Shion drew back. "I thought...since I've never..." His face reddened even further.
"Idiot." Nezumi couldn't look him in the eye. "When would I ever let you take pain for me?"
Shion kissed Nezumi lightly on the cheek. "Never. I see."
Nezumi jolted as Shion's hands dove between his legs, stunned by the immediate intensity of the touch. "Shion-! Shi-!" His toes curled. Shion began a slow, cadenced motion and Nezumi was overtaken by a fervent dizziness. He struggled to be coherent.
"Oi, where'd you-ah-pick up this technique!"
"It's not a technique. I'm just following my instinct." Shion was completely serious and a little surprised at how Nezumi was reacting. Nezumi's breathing quickened to the rhythm of Shion's hands and wavered as he sank further into ecstasy. He attempted a reply, but his mind was lost to sensation and so managed only a moan. Shion kept at it, taking sincere pleasure in the wordless praise. "I'm glad I...can make you feel good..."
Nezumi's eyes widened as he reached his limit. "Ng-! Shion-let g-" His head mashed back into the pillow with a violent shudder upon release. Shion propped him up in a sitting position against the wall.
"That's some damn strong instinct," Nezumi panted.
Shion leaned over him and reached for his hair.
"What are you doing?" Nezumi shrank back. Shion didn't give up. "Untying it."
"Have you seen your hands? I'll do it." He deftly pulled out the knot. The shining slate fibers tumbled down and spread across the top of his shoulders.
"There. Better?"
"Yeah."
Suddenly Shion's hand plunged down to the opening below. Nezumi jumped as his fingers lapped at him. "Geez, give a guy some warning!"
"Here, right?"
Nezumi snorted. "Yeah. You have the right idea. Use fingers."
"Fingers..." He felt one of Shion's fingers push cautiously inside him, felt his own wetness aiding its passage. Shion quickly added a second and a third. Nezumi cringed at the hasty entrances.
"You in a rush or something?" The fingers trembled. He looked up at Shion's face.
Shion seemed near tears, as if he was holding his entire face back from springing leaks. He had stiffened further. "Nezu...mi..."
Nezumi lifted his legs up, up, over Shion's shoulders. "Take out the fingers." Shion did so.
"Now...oh, hell, I bet you know what to-" Shion entered quickly into Nezumi, burying himself deeper with throbbing anticipation. Nezumi welcomed the fast, intimate heat, welcomed the one he'd revealed himself to...
"It got tighter..."
"Shut up."
Shion succumbed completely to an intensifying desire and kissed Nezumi with newfound urgency. Nezumi was consumed by it as well, wrapping his arms and legs around Shion, pulling him closer, further in.
"Shion-"
Shion moaned in pure bliss. Nezumi felt minute tremors in Shion's body as he struggled to hold back. He caressed Shion's cheek. "There's no need for that. I'm fine."
"But-you said it would hurt-"
"Shion."
There was something in Nezumi's voice that Shion hadn't heard before. Something that caused him to let go completely. Nezumi's head snapped back with a gasping cry. He clawed Shion's shoulders, tightened his legs' grip. The bed groaned.
"Nezumi-!"
They pulsed, unraveled by each other, alive in each other. Their movements disintegrated into something chaotic, sloppy, unadulterated. A raw, dark-hot hunger swelled, enveloped them, pushed them nearer and nearer to peak.
Nezumi dug his heels into Shion's back, barely cognizant.
Shion buried his face in Nezumi's chest, flushed with the buildup.
The heat overflowed and crashed through them, drained them. Shion collapsed on top of Nezumi. Nezumi received him onto his chest, smiling wearily, his fingers tangling in the boy's hair as he caught his breath.
"Thoughts from the ex-virgin?"
There was no reply.
"Shion?"
He lifted Shion's hair out of his face. He was fast asleep.
"Shit." Nezumi delicately extricated Shion from himself and sat up on the edge of the bed, face softened in thought. As he started to stand, a skinny, scar-wrapped arm grabbed his own.
"I...love you...Nezumi." Shion smiled exhaustedly up at Nezumi, eyes half-open. Nezumi sat back down on the bed. His lips barely grazed Shion's and then he was up walking to the bathroom, retying his hair. Shion lifted his head a little, watching him go. He turned on his back, the ghost of the kiss, the unsaid words, falling from his lips. The water started in the bathroom. He exhaled deeply, sank back.
It was at this moment he realized the soup from that day had gone uneaten.
~~~End
A/N: No. 6, no matter how fiercely I wish it to, does not at all belong to me and springs solely from the gorgeous mind of Atsuko Asano. My first fanfic ever; feedback is welcomed heartily. Cheers and a good day.
