"Oh no," Erin groaned, carefully lifting the plastic stick from the bathroom counter.
Two pink lines.
"Goddamnit," Erin swore, slamming the plastic back onto the counter.
"You okay, Erin?" Jay called from their bedroom.
Erin practically choked on her words, "Yeah, fine. Just...closed the cabinet door on my finger."
"Slap a Band-Aid on it," Jay laughed, "We're gonna be late, and I've just gotten on Voight's good side."
Erin grunted a vague response and wrapped the pregnancy test in a huge wad of toilet paper, before shoving it to the bottom of the garbage can.
She paused to rest her head against the door. Shit. A baby. How the hell was she supposed to be a mother?
But Jay, he would be an amazing dad. He deserved better than her.
And with a baby Voight would definitely try to con her into taking time away from Intelligence.
She loved her job. She didn't want to stop.
Oh my god, this was too much for 8:30 in the morning.
Erin jumped when Jay started knocking on the door.
"Come on, Er. Voight's gonna kick my ass if we're late."
She pulled the door open, causing Jay to stumble, "What if he kicks my ass?"
Jay laughed, "Yeah, okay. You're Voight's favorite. I think he likes you more than he likes Jason. He's never gonna get pissed off at you."
Erin shrugged, she wouldn't deny the truth.
"Doesn't mean he's always pleasant to me," she said, pulling on her jacket and shouldering her purse.
"I still don't want to take my chances with him," Jay said, jogging into the small kitchen and grabbing his car keys.
"Why are we taking two cars?" Erin asked, accepting her car keys when Jay held them out to her, "Everyone knows we're dating."
"I know," Jay grinned, "I just don't like throwing it in Voight's face. Also, I have an errand to run after we get off."
Erin sighed as she followed Jay to their cars. A pregnancy would definitely be considered throwing their relationship in Voight's face. And an errand? What kind of errand could Jay possibly have that he wouldn't want her to come.
She wasn't going to dwell on that right now.
Climbing into the driver's seat of her car, she asked, "Greek for dinner tonight?"
Jay nodded, leaning down to kiss her quickly, "Definitely. See you in a few."
Erin smiled, but it faded as soon as Jay was out of sight.
A headache was forming behind her right eye. A baby. They'd only been dating six months.
"Fuck," Erin groaned, slamming her steering wheel. That was not what she had pictured for herself.
"Coffee?" Jay asked, holding up a disposable cup.
Erin looked up at her boyfriend and blinked, "Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks."
Jay gave her a funny look and set the cup in front of her, "You look exhausted."
"Gee, thanks, Halstead," Erin drawled, "Just what every girl wants to hear."
She ran her fingers around the edge of the cup, not drinking. Hadn't she heard once that caffeine was bad for pregnant women?
Taking his coffee back to his desk and sitting down, Jay laughed, "Just looking out for my girl."
Erin ducked her head and smiled a little. She had a very strong love/hate relationship with Jay saying those kinds of things.
Voight came stomping out of his office before either one of them could say anything else, "Al just called. He and Ruzek found Jones' hideout. Antonio and Atwater are on their way there. We're meeting them. Let's go."
Erin left her coffee on the desk and shoved her arms into her jacket. Jay dropped his half finished coffee into the trash and followed Erin.
"You have vests in the car, right?" he asked, resting his hand against the small of her back.
Erin nodded shortly. Should she even be going into the field with them?
Yes, she decided. She wasn't even that pregnant. Besides, nothing would happen to her with Jay watching her back.
"Halstead, Lindsay, around the back," Voight barked, already moving up the front steps with Antonio and Atwater behind him.
The partners nodded, holding their guns by their thighs as they ran around the side of the house.
"On three," Jay said.
"Got it," Erin said, brushing her hand against the spot where Jay's vest stopped. His shirt had ridden up, and his skin was warm, a nice reminder that he was next to her.
Jay smiled down at his girlfriend, "We got this."
Erin nodded, pushing aside the bad feeling in her gut.
"One…two…three," Jay counted down before he kicked in the back door, shouting, "Chicago PD! Liam Jones you're under arrest."
He moved quickly and damn near silently into the house, Erin hot on his trail.
"Chicago PD!" She shouted, "Come out, Jones! You're surrounded."
They could hear Voight and Antonio shouting the same things from the front of the house.
Erin and Jay both swiveled their heads, carefully searching the house for Jones and anyone else he may have been hiding there.
Jay heard Erin's shout and the thump before he saw it.
Jones had burst out from behind a door, slamming the wood into Erin's head. He swung a punch at her jaw, connecting with a crack. Erin swung back, catching Jones' ear.
The thug lifted up his knee and drove it into Erin's stomach, sending the air whooshing out of her lungs. Erin dropped heavily to her knees, rolling out of the way so Jay could step in.
Jay swung his elbow, cracking Jones across the face.
"ON THE GROUND!" Jay shouted, punching Jones in the side. Erin stood up shakily. She used Jones' distraction against him, moving quickly behind him and kicking him hard in the back of the knees before slamming the butt of her gun down on his shoulder.
Jones went down like a fallen tree, his head making a hollow thunking noise as it hit the floor.
Jay rushed over to Erin's side, his fingers brushing against the already angry looking bruise on her forehead, "Hey, hey, you okay?"
Erin winced as his fingers pressed down just a little too hard, "Fine. Just a headache."
"You're going to the hospital," Voight demanded as he hurried into the room. Antonio was already on the ground cuffing Jones. Their suspect was already coming around, and he was pissed.
"Fucking bitch!" he spat in Erin's direction as Antonio hauled him to his feel, "I'm suing for fucking police brutality."
Antonio laughed, "Yeah? That gonna be before or after your life sentence for murder?"
"Fuck you," Jones spat at Antonio, stumbling over his feet as Antonio shoved him through the house.
They could still hear him spewing curses as he was taken outside.
Voight turned back to his detectives, "Halstead, take her to the hospital, and then I don't want to see either one of you for the rest of the day.."
He looked at Erin, "That's an order."
Voight left the room and headed upstairs to see what Ruzek and Olinsky had found.
Jay grabbed Erin's hand, "You heard the man. Let's go."
Erin protested, "I'm fine. I don't need the hospital."
She tried to pull away from Jay's grip, but he held her tight.
"Yeah, no," he shook his head, "You probably have a concussion."
"I know what a concussion feels like, Jay. This isn't one," Erin said, "I just want to go home and relax."
She took a different tact and slid her hands up his arms, "I'm really feeling fine. And Voight gave us the rest of the day off. You know what that means."
"Yeah, you're heading to the hospital," Jay grinned, "Nice try on the seduction though."
Erin pouted, "Not good enough."
Jay kissed the side of her head, "If the doc gives you an all clear, I'll show you how to really seduce someone."
Erin laughed even though it hurt her head, "Oh really. You gonna use the patented Jay Halstead move?"
Jay smirked, "Maybe. You'll just have to see."
"How about a compromise?" Erin suggested, "You go do that errand that you have, I'll wait at home. If I'm feeling bad by the time you get back, I'll go to the doctors."
Jay hesitated at the door, "I don't wanna go against Voight, Er."
Erin leaned up against him, "Come on, babe. You know if we go to the ER, we're gonna be stuck there all night. No time for some afternoon fun."
"Well…" Jay paused, "My errand should only take a few minutes, so I guess it should be alright."
Erin grinned, despite the pain radiating through her head, "Thank you! Now let's go. I want to get out of here."
She held onto Jay's hand tightly, and tried to conceal the fact that her gait was slightly unsteady.
She was sure Jay picked up on it – he always did when something was off with her – but, bless him, he didn't say a word. But he did take her keys.
"Aw, Jay!" she protested as he bundled her into the passenger seat.
"You're driving skills are questionable on a good day. Who knows how bad they'll be when you got a knock to the head," he laughed, starting the car.
"I'm insulted," Erin mock-pouted.
"Better insulted than dead," Jay said, squeezing her knee as he drove.
Erin tucked her body up against Jay's in the middle of the night, pressing her hips into his ass to try and relieve some of the pain from her lower abdomen.
Her head had stopped hurting by the time Jay had gotten back from his errand, so he hadn't made her go to the hospital, something she was very grateful for.
They'd eaten dinner and caught up on some of their DVR'd shows, but Jay had insisted that they go to bed early without any of the fun stuff.
"You were hit in the head with a door," he had said, "You need to sleep."
Erin wouldn't admit it, but she was glad he had insisted on sleep. She was kind of tired.
But now she'd been awake for what felt like hours with a pain in her stomach. She figured it was from Jones kneeing her.
Rolling away from Jay, she tried to quietly get out of bed to grab some Advil, but as soon as she sat up there was a piercing pain in her stomach and she couldn't smother the moan that she let out.
"Erin?' Jay slurred, waking up, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she grunted, shifting to stand, but the pain returned tenfold and she dropped back onto the bed.
Jay was wide-awake now. He sat up and flipped on his lamp.
He cursed at the sight of the blood covering their sheets, "Erin? What the hell?"
The baby, Erin suddenly remembered.
"Jay," she moaned, "Oh my god, it hurts."
Jay shot out of bed and grabbed his sweatshirt from the floor, 'Okay, come on. We're going to the hospital."
He gently slid Erin's arms into the hoodie, and carefully gathered her into his arms.
She bit her lip against the pain as she was jostled.
"Erin… it'll be okay," Jay whispered. Erin pressed her face into his warm chest, her arms tightly looped around his neck.
It wouldn't be okay. Erin knew that. But it was nice of him to try and reassure her.
"I don't know," Jay mumbled, head in his hands, "I didn't know who to call."
Voight dropped his hand onto Jay's shoulder, "It's not your fault, Halstead."
Jay looked up at his boss – the man that was going to be his de facto father-in-law one day- his eyes red from crying, "I let her get beat up."
"You didn't let Erin do anything," Voight said, "She makes up her own mind and sticks to that decision."
"I was gonna be a dad," Jay said, staring at the wall, "I was gonna be a dad and I didn't even know it."
"There's still time for all that," Voight said, his tone softening. Erin and Jay's loss was also his own. He could've had a second grandchild.
Jay shrugged, preoccupied in his grief.
"Where's Erin?" Voight said, "Why aren't you with her?"
Jay swallowed, "They're just checking to make sure…to make sure…" his voice broke, "To make sure they got everything out."
Voight looked down at his hands.
"You should be with her," he said, carefully, knowing that Halstead was emotional right now. The young detective was deep in grief and anger.
But instead of snapping like Voight thought he might, Halstead nodded and pushed himself up from the chair, "I know. She shouldn't be alone."
Jay started down the hallway, but paused after he had taken a few steps.
He turned back to face Voight. The older man's face was stoic, but his eyes were wet.
"We would've been great parents," Jay said.
Voight knew Halstead was talking more for his own benefit than for Voight's, btu he answered anyway, "Yeah, you would've."
Erin was curled on her side when Jay closed the hospital room door behind him.
"Hey," he said softly, moving to sit down on the edge of the bed. He rested his hand on Erin's thigh, surprised to find her trembling under his touch.
Erin did respond.
"I'm so sorry, Erin. I should've made you come to the hospital like Voight said. This is all my fault," Jay said.
Erin choked on a sob.
"It's my fault," she said as if she hadn't heard Jay speak, "I knew…I knew about the b- it. I knew about it and I went with you and I didn't fight enough. I should've fought harder."
Jay shook his head, "Erin, no. It's not your fault. It's not."
Erin rolled to face him. Her eyes were red and puffy, her face pale. Jay noticed the still wet tear tracks running down her cheeks.
"It is! It's all my fault. I didn't want it enough. I should've wanted it. All I could think about was how I'd have to take time off form my job. I didn't…I want to be a mom, Jay. I want to be better than Bunny. I just didn't want it hard enough," her words trailed off into heart-wrenching sobs.
Jay gathered her into his arms, rocking her gently, "Listen to me, this is not about you wanting it- the baby enough. This is not about something you did. This just wasn't… we weren't supposed to have this baby."
Erin cried into his shirt.
"We're gonna have a kid one day, Erin. And you're going to be an amazing mom. Better than Bunny. I promise," Jay said, thinking of the engagement ring he had hidden away in his underwear drawer at home.
Erin's crying shuddered to a halt, but she still held Jay's shirt in her fists, "I'm sorry."
She whispered the words so quietly Jay barely heard them. But something in his gut told him Erin's apology wasn't meant for him.
"Would you stop touching me?" Erin chastised her husband good-naturedly, "I'm still all soft and squishy."
"I like you soft and squishy," Jay grinned, kissing the side of her neck, "Makes all of this seem real."
Erin smiled to herself; she knew what he meant.
Instead of answering Jay, Erin looked out at their backyard. It was decorated in pink streamers, balloons tied to almost every chair.
"I'm glad Kim let me host her baby shower," Erin said, "I've been going crazy since Hank put me on part-time."
Jay laughed, "He's doing his over-protective thing."
"I wish he wouldn't," Erin grumbled, "I'm ready to get back to work full time. I just don't trust Atwater to have your back like I do."
"Take that up with Voight," Jay said, hefting a platter of sandwiches into his arms, "He's got Christopher and Brookie out by the sprinkler."
He kissed Erin's cheek before heading back out onto their patio.
Erin grabbed two pitchers of lemonade and followed him.
Sure enough, Hank Voight had both of his grandkids, 3-year-old Christopher, and 1-year-old Brooke running through the sprinklers.
"I didn't see Olive here," Erin said as she took a seat in the grass.
Hank handed Christopher a foam ball, "She and Justin had a sonogram this morning. I offered to bring Chris over for them."
"You're a good grandpa, Hank," Erin said.
Brooke cam toddling through the sprinkler and threw her wet little body into Erin's lap, "Mama!"
Erin laughed at her daughter, pressing kisses all over the little brunette's face. Erin laughed even harder at Brooke's squeals ad protests.
"Who's Mommy's little monster?" she teased, tickling Brooke's tummy.
Brooke shrieked with glee, "Mama. Mama. Mama!"
Erin finally lifted Brooke and set her back on her feet, watching the toddler walk off to play with the water.
Hank and Erin watched the kids a little longer. But it was starting to get cold, and Erin decided that Brooke needed to be changed.
"Come on, monkey," she said, lifting the baby onto her hip, "Time for some warm clothes."
Brooke squealed in protest, chanting the few words she knew as if they would get Erin to bring her back outside, "Mama, Dada, Gampa, Tony."
Erin smiled at the fact that most of the words Brooke knew were names or variations of the names of her family.
She had Jay had been doing something right.
"I know you want to go back outside," Erin laughed, talking to her baby girl as she peeled away the wet clothes, "And you will. But we have to change you first. Then you can go and show off your newfound talking skills. I know Daddy's going to give you cake, and Uncle Adam will toss you around, so we'll keep the clothes casual."
Erin muttered the next part to herself, "Because they'll be covered in baby vomit in no time."
"You're a great mom," Jay said from the doorway.
Erin jumped, "Christ, Halstead. Lurk much?"
Jay came into the nursery, "I was pretty loud coming up the steps. You just didn't hear me 'cause you were in supermom mode."
"I wouldn't say 'supermom'," Erin said, pulling a pair of baby leggings up Brooke's kicking legs.
"I would," Jay said, kissing her shoulder, "I told you so."
"Told me so, what?" Erin said, pulling a long sleeved shirt over Brooke's head, "There's she is!"
Brooke giggled and clapped at the spontaneous peek-a-boo game.
"I told you that you'd be an amazing mom," Jay said quietly, thinking of their first baby.
Erin's thought's must have gone there too, because she swallowed and then put on a smile, "Aren't you just a know-it-all, then."
"Only where it counts, babe," Jay said, "Now give me my baby. I have lots of cake to feed her."
He lifted Brooke into the air, settling her on his hip after he planted a dozen kisses on her cheek.
He winked at Erin, "Don't worry, we'll save some cake for you. Right, Brookie?"
He bounced the little girl on his hip and she shrieked happily.
Erin watched as father and daughter headed down the hallway, their matching heads of hair bent together.
They had definitely done good.
A/N: *ducks* oh my god, are you guys gonna kill me? Sorry for all the angst! But it's happy in the end! Um, not too much to say on this one. The plot bunny bit me and wouldn't let go.
Drop me a review…they literally make my day so much better =)
