Brilliant Sky

Chapter One: The Pre-Dawn Grey

(sora) 空 (sora)

I lived a disappointing life.

Simple enough thing to say, really. Never finished that college degree, left my first real job, and wound up with the steering column of my crappy car where my heart used to be.

I'd like to blame it on a lack of direction, of … destiny, I suppose; but really, I just wasn't all that terribly motivated of a guy.

I'd lived a disappointing life, and died a disappointing death. I figured that was enough.

Then I woke up.

(moto) 元 (moto)

'Waking up' might be a bit of a misnomer; 'becoming aware' is probably the right way to say it. I knew, certain as I knew the sky was blue, that I had to be dead. I hadn't really felt my ribs cave in, but I saw… just so much of my own blood, felt the way I just couldn't breathe no matter what I did, that I knew when I closed my eyes it was for the last time.

With that as my last image, the first thing I was aware of was the press of the most sinfully comforting blanket I'd ever known. It was the perfect temperature, and it fit me perfectly, just tight enough to know that it would stretch with me.

The next thing my groggy mind understood was the steady beat that thrummed through my body, calming me like the rocking of a boat (and if you've never had a chance to lean back in a boat on a gentle day, you owe it to yourself). I knew that I was safe.

The last thing I became aware of, and the one that rocked me right out of my complacency was the fact that I couldn't breathe. I squirmed, trying desperately to take that life-giving breath, and found that nothing would come; I couldn't coordinate the muscles, and it felt like my lungs were full of water.

I started panicking, thrashing my limbs, until it began to hit me that I was still alive. I couldn't breathe, but I was alive.

Calming down a little, I felt my racing heart slow down, but still beating way too fast.

'Alright, think.' I told my protesting mind, 'I can't see, I can't breathe, and I can barely move.'

For a moment that stretched into eternity, I entertained the thought that I was in a hospital, that I was getting some kind of experimental, ultra-sciency treatment that would heal my ruined lungs, fix my broken body.

And then I felt the pressure from outside, so softly, gently imprinting on the inside of my blanket that my mind went blank. The pressure itself wasn't the cause of my breakdown, if anything it felt comforting.

What caused me to let go of rational thought was the fact that I could discern the shape of the imprint. It was big – as big as my arm – and it was the point of a finger, nail and all.

(umare) 生まれ (umare)

I don't know how long I hung there, in the pressing darkness ('the darkness of the womb,' my unhelpful mind provided), but eventually I came to myself. Things were changing; shifting. I had never really been able to tell which way was up, but now my whole world was moving. I could feel myself, my tiny helpless infant body contorting as I flipped, and felt the world – below me? above me? – stutter like a hammer blow.

I had no idea what was going on until I felt the Squeeze. And it deserved capital letters – it felt like my whole body would be crushed to paste and I was about to end my second debut into life even more pathetically than my first.

Finally, my head broke free and the rest of me followed, and I took that desperate, needy breath, filling my lungs for the first time in too long. And promptly started to cry the poor aching organs out in relief, in joy at finally feeling free again.

I vowed from that day on that I would never take my life for granted again, that I would never let myself be constrained, never let myself be captive again.

I kept my vow, though I found it to be the hardest thing I would ever do.

I kept my vow to fly the brilliant sky.

A/N

How many of these are there now? Silver Queen has definitely lead the charge, and there now so many, many brilliant writers that have jumped on board. After much too much lurking, I figure that I should offer my own meager talents, and I hope add some small degree of enrichment to an already heady brew.

As a lurker and a wide reader, I've come across many ideas I like, and I have some plans for where I want to go with Brilliant Sky. Please feel free to correct my many errors, and I'd be happy to hear from you on ideas and conceits you might like to see.

Recommendation: "Dreaming of Sunshine", by Silver Queen (stid: 7347955). This beautiful and kind Kiwi (I hope she doesn't kill me for that ) has redefined the SI genre for so many of us, and her Shikako is one of the most alive characters I've ever read.