Title: Behind These Words

Author: Tiffany

Summary: It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine!

Important Note: I live in Australia and in our school we have School Captains. I believe this is the equivalent to Head Boys and Head Girls…? Sorry, I'm just a little confused. Also, in Australia, we have vice-captains…I was wondering if there are equivalents to those? AND (this is the last thing) is there anything in Australia that is equivalent to prefects? It's just that with a little more information, I would understand the statuses a bit more. :)

Chapter One:: To Understand

"Good morning, Evans."

Lily Evans sighed and decided to ignore that annoying voice that belonged to James Potter. Ever since they had met in the First Year, it had been his tradition to greet her as soon as they board the train. At least, this would be the last year he got to annoy her as soon as she was ready to embark to Hogwarts.

Realising James wouldn't leave until she acknowledged his presence, Lily finally looked up from the book she was reading to face the piercing hazel eyes of James Potter. Instead of focusing her gaze upon his gleaming eyes, she noticed something else that was gleaming. A badge.

"You're Head Boy?" she squawked.

This had to be a nightmare. It must just be a dream that highlighted everything she feared in her life. Such as learning James Potter was the Head Boy when she was Head Girl.

James placed a hand over his heart and pretended to be wounded.

"Geez, Evans, I thought you'd be complimenting on my efforts," he sighed with great exasperation.

"What about Remus?" Lily asked not bothering to hide her shock. She had spent enough time with Remus Lupin as a prefect to learn that he deserved to be Head Boy rather than James.

"Guess I outshined him," James shrugged clearly indicating that he didn't care about one of his best friend's feelings.

"I bet you stole it off him!" Lily exclaimed trying to find any excuse to why the badge was pinned on James. "That's right, Potter. Admit you took it off him."

James snorted and shook his head. Strands of his messy, black hair fell across his forehead and it nerved Lily how it could never be simply neat.

"There's nothing to admit to but the truth," he replied crisply. "I decided that the two of us should share a compartment to ease the tension that may surface during our meetings as Heads this year."

Lily raised an eyebrow. Was James still not tired of trying to impress her? She was finding it humorous that he was trying to sound authentic and of power. Where was the reckless Quidditch player she had grown to know over the years?

"I'm sorry to ruin your hopes," Lily started airily. "But there are other people who I will be sitting with and there is no room for them to sit with your big head in here."

James narrowed his eyes.

"That wasn't very nice," he said finally.

"It's not very nice of me to promise Mindy and Severus seats only for them to find YOU'RE in here," Lily retorted.

Mindy Parker was her best friend since First Year. The two of them spent hours talking and helping each other in need. Severus Snape, on the other hand, had been her friend for over seven years since he discovered her as a witch. She had to admit she was finding their relationship straining ever since he started to grow jealous of James. At times, Severus even seemed possessive.

"What?" Lily asked when she saw James's sour face.

"You're still friends with Snivellus?" James exclaimed aghast. "I know you like to be in control but how can you be when you fall under the Dark Arts?"

"Stop calling him that!" Lily growled, growing agitated. James just always seemed to make her angry.

She stood up from her seat and faced an equally angry James. In the midst of her anger, Lily still realised he was growing taller. He was now about half a foot taller than her.

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm not interested in the Dark Arts and neither is Severus!"

"I don't like you lying to me, Evans," James growled.

"I'm not!"

"You ARE! You always lie to me when it comes to precious, little Severus."

"Shut up, already! You're just jealous that he excels in all his subjects whereas you're just scraping by."

"That's right, Evans, I'm just so jealous of Snape. I mean, geez, I wished I had his slimy hair and hooked nose. And yeah, I wish I had a sponge instead of a brain!"

"Stop it!" Lily cried, frustrated tears welling in her eyes. So much for a good start to the year. "Why are you always so mean to him? He hasn't even done anything to you. You're almost seventeen yet you act like seven!"

James was shaking. It seemed like it was from anger. No, make that rage. But Lily wasn't terrified. Her rage would easily put out his.

"Why are you always defending him?" James hissed. "What does he have to offer you?"

"More than you could ever offer!" Lily shouted back. She was surprised that the whole school hadn't waited outside the compartment to see what the argument was about. People tend to indulge in gossips these days. Or maybe they were outside, it wasn't like she could see behind the closed doors.

However, she could see James. And he did not look happy and his trademark smirk wasn't on his face. In fact, he looked like he was slapped.

"Fine," he jeered. Lily had never seen him look so coldly at her and it made her tremble. Just. "If that's the way you want it, fine. Just fine."

He shot her an icy glare and was about to stroll out when the door opened and Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew came stumbling in.

Lily froze. Had they heard the whole argument? She knew the school was used to hearing her argue with James but it didn't mean she liked it. What if people perceived her to be as mean as he?

"Were you listening?" James asked, echoing Lily's thoughts. His voice came out dull and weary.

"Nope," Sirius piped. "Just checking all compartments to say hi to you. Man, didn't see you at all this morning. We all assumed you were with Lily and we were right."

"I was just leaving," James muttered. His three best friends were blocking the door.

Lily was glad his back was turned to her because she couldn't even imagine what the look was on his face. She felt a twinge of guilt but it wasn't like she did anything wrong. He had, in fact, brought it all onto himself.

Lily was trying to ignore everyone's gaze but she could see Sirius whipping his head back and forth between the two of them.

"Everything cool?" he asked.

"Yes," Lily replied coolly, picking up the book she dropped. She forced a smile. "Good morning, Sirius, Remus and Peter."

"Morning!" they all echoed like robots.

"Let's go," James muttered, obviously the leader of their little gang.

"Why?" Sirius asked with a frown. He obviously shared equal status of the leader in their gang. "I haven't even congratulated Lily on winning Head Girl. Congratulations, Lily!"

"Thank-you," she said smiling politely.

"Oh, yeah, congratulations!" Peter squeaked as if just catching on what happened. Typical.

"Thank-you," Lily repeated.

"Congratulations," Remus smiled kindly. He was the only one in the gang who Lily found mature and sensible.

"Thank-you," Lily repeated for the third time.

"Hey, Prongs, did you know Remus didn't get Head Boy?" Sirius laughed making Remus turn pink. "Sad, you know, how he's such a good boy and got nothing in return. Do you know who got Head Boy – "

Sirius stopped halfway through the sentence when he noticed the badge shining on James's broad chest.

"No…flipping…way," he gasped. "The little Potter boy is Head Boy?!"

James finally moved since his friends fell into the compartment. His movements were sharp and held the hint of anger. He unpinned his badge and thrust it at a shocked Remus.

"I think there was a mistake," James muttered. He pushed Peter out of the way and left the compartment.

Lily felt her mouth go dry. She knew James was hurting bad since he wasn't showing any sign of his huge ego. But she didn't know why. What did she say that cut him so deep? It was basically another normal argument that the two of them always had.

"What happened?" Remus asked in a low voice.

"Yeah, what happened?" Sirius frowned. "I've never seen Prongs so beat up."

"I don't know," Lily answered truthfully. She secretly wished it wasn't anything she did though. She didn't really want to hurt James, she just wished he would be nicer.

Remus eyed Lily warily. It was obvious he didn't believe her and he was the only one who could read past the looks she projected to the world.

"I'm serious!" she insisted.

"Okay, okay," Sirius laughed not realising she was speaking to Remus. "We'll leave you to it. We better make sure James doesn't end up trying to swallow a Snitch because you're not his girl."

They all bid farewell and left. Soon after, Mindy and Severus entered.

"Finally!" Mindy exclaimed collapsing on the seat opposite Lily. "They left after eons! Severus was too scared to enter with all of them here."

"Was not," Severus said hotly but his cheeks turned the slightest pink.

"Are you okay?" Mindy asked closely examining Lily's face. "You seemed kind of…detached."

"I'm fine!" Lily insisted although she felt like she was crumbling. She didn't know why. James just sometimes had a strange effect on her.

"Hey, Head Girl!" Mindy said noticing the badge.

"Yeah…" Lily said half-heartedly. Now, everything just seemed to remind her of James…

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

"More than you could ever offer!"

Lily's furious, disgusted voice rang through James's head over and over again.

She was right, of course. She was always right. He was only just scraping by in his subjects. Well…he had brains but he purposely ensured he just scraped by to maintain his 'cool' status. Wouldn't that make him stupid? He was also mean to Severus even though he never did anything unless provoked. He didn't deserve to be Head Boy.

She didn't realise that he was as shock as her when he found out he was Head Boy. He didn't know why he was picked to be Head Boy. He was just so happy to be a Head with her. He thought they could be…friends.

He never understood and didn't think he ever will. Practically everyone (minus the slimy Snivellus) wanted to be his friend but Lily never did. Even Mindy was at times nice to him. Why didn't Lily want to be friends with him?

And how could she say Severus wasbetter than him? What did he have to offer that James didn't have? Was it his glasses? His parents keep protesting that it cost too much to get his eyes fixed. Well, thanks. Lily just didn't think he wasn't good enough for him.

But that was true once again. He just wasn't good enough for Lily. It was plain to everyone. Lily was beautiful – that word, beautiful, was too weak to describe someone like her. Gorgeous, wouldn't do either. Neither would exquisite. She was a whole other level of beauty.

And her heart was made of gold. She was caring towards everyone (minus him) and would defend anyone who James decided to pick on. The only reason why he hexed people for fun was just to get Lily to talk to him.

And she was dedicated to her schoolwork. She had only ever received top marks and the wisdom shone in her emerald eyes.

Who could be perfect enough for Lily Evans? Surely, it could never be him.

And when he saw her eyes fill with tears, he felt like someone was clutching his heart. There was a sharp pain in his chest that wouldn't go away. It brought him great grief that he was the cause of her tears. Never in one of their arguments had he made her cry.

"There you are!" Sirius exclaimed breaking James's miserable thoughts. He, along with Remus and Peter, entered his compartment.

"Here I am," James confirmed dully.

"What's the matter?" Remus asked. "Is it Lily?"

"It always is," Sirius said rolling his eyes.

"Eh, yeah," James said realising it was pointless to lie to his friends. "Don't worry about it. She's just being tough."

"Are you sure she's worth it?" Sirius asked cautiously. "I know she's the height of perfection but there are other chicks who cut in close. All Evans does is cause you heartache."

James barked out laughter.

"I'm fine, honesty," James lied. He didn't want to burden his friends with worry. What happened to all the fun times they had? "Now, what happened in your break?"

Sirius rambled on about his break and soon enough, the only person who was listening was Peter. Realising Sirius wouldn't blow a fuse if he realised not everyone was listening to him, Remus pulled out the badge. James felt like he swallowed something sour when he saw the small golden badge.

"This belongs to you," Remus said firmly.

"No," James said shaking his head. "I was being serious when I said that Dumbledore made a mistake."

"He didn't," Remus explained. "You are a born leader. A true Gryffidor. Brave. Loyal. Fierce. Exactly what a Head Boy is. All I do is make sure everyone is in line. You also ensure people have FUN. That way people will respect you."

James swallowed and picked up the tiny badge. Maybe he did deserve it. It wasn't like Albus Dumbledore ever made a mistake.

"Make us proud!" Remus grinned punching him lightly on the shoulder. It was slightly out of character for him.

I will, James promised in his head. I will also make Lily proud.