Author's Note: I've often wondered what would have happened if Alan Moore had taken over The Hulk (Marvel's green monster) rather than Swamp Thing (DC's green monster). That's what led me to write the following story.
***
The Physics Lesson
The monster has gone away.
Banner lies alone now, sleeping in his bed. A constant influx of sedatives ensures that he'll remain that way until I decide I want him awake.
That time is now.
I turn off the influx, and, while he's still unconscious, go into an adjacent room, where I can view him through a one-way mirror.
Once upon a time I would have wanted revenge on Banner, but that was a long time ago. Overall, he's done me more good than he has harm. If not for him I'd just be a misshapen freak, but thanks to The Hulk I'm famous, a national hero in my country, a Red David to his Green Goliath. I get to move in celebrity circles, I get to know everyone's secrets, I get fan mail. Life is good.
And this month I finally got a chance to examine The Hulk. Normally when the military capture him they'll call in Reed Richards, or, if he's unavailable, Doc Samson. They've never called me in before, but that's because he's never been caught in my territory before.
I watch Banner waking.
They wanted me to find out his secrets so they could make an army of Hulks. We've seen grey and green Hulks, but they wanted red Hulks. But that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to know his secrets so that life would make sense again.
My mutation's given me a great intellect, and I turned that intellect towards the study of Physics. But then The Hulk comes along and doesn't conform to what I've learned. The things I know are that energy cannot be created or destroyed, and that people at ground zero during bomb testing will get blown to bits.
Banner wakes. He looks around.
He spots the one-way mirror straight away, but, since he's used to being observed, ignores it. He then walks to the table with my journal lying open upon it.
My notes are in English. I want Banner to be able to read them after all. Natasha, who's such a good spy that the Americans mistakenly believe that she's working for them, has sent me all the files SHIELD hold on Banner and none of them indicate any Russian language expertise.
First he'll be reading of all the tests that I did on him. Of course he won't believe what I've written at first but I've given him access to a lab so that he can repeat them.
It looks like he's got to the interesting bit, he's started moving towards the lab. He'll be doing the carbon-dating test on himself. Wait a few hours.
Time passes.
Was that a scream of "No!!!!!" I heard? He must have discovered that he's only three years old.
Three years ago they tested Bruce Banner's gamma bomb. The gamma ray energy tore through Bruce's body, near-infinite quantum reactions took place as the energy attempted to deconstruct and mimic the life it destroyed. Bruce isn't Bruce, Bruce is the gamma rays. But there's too much energy there to copy Bruce properly, it takes too much concentration to keep Bruce's form, and when it loses that concentration the best copy it can manage is The Hulk.
He's reading the rest of my journal in a daze. He's not taking in my theories about Rick Jones. Less energy replaced him as he died in the gamma ray blasts, so the energy can maintain his form successfully. The latent energy manifested itself in the Kree-Skrull war in the shape of some old heroes drawn from Rick's (or, more precisely, a copy of Rick's) consciousness.
He's probably still skeptical about why Reed Richards didn't spot this, as was I. Now he's reading my theory on this. Reed did spot it. He couldn't tell people because of the effect it would have on his teammates. After all, they're just bundles of energy copying people, but Sue, Johnny and Ben just don't realise it. Gamma rays, cosmic rays - they're all pretty much the same thing. And then there was the Phoenix incident, where an energy copy of Jean Grey wreaked havoc. There's probably numerous heroes and villains I could speculate over, but I can leave that to another day.
I watch Bruce. He's writing something on my journal. He holds it up so that I can read it.
"GOOD WORK"
Bruce realises what I realised. That he's been the monster all along, not The Hulk.
He might never have found out but the Russian military had to come along and throw The Gremlin in the works.
Banner changes to The Hulk one last time. He doesn't struggle. He just changes peacefully. But not into The Hulk I know. A different one. A less human one. A peaceful, smiling Hulk.
The monster has gone away.
THE END
***
The Physics Lesson
The monster has gone away.
Banner lies alone now, sleeping in his bed. A constant influx of sedatives ensures that he'll remain that way until I decide I want him awake.
That time is now.
I turn off the influx, and, while he's still unconscious, go into an adjacent room, where I can view him through a one-way mirror.
Once upon a time I would have wanted revenge on Banner, but that was a long time ago. Overall, he's done me more good than he has harm. If not for him I'd just be a misshapen freak, but thanks to The Hulk I'm famous, a national hero in my country, a Red David to his Green Goliath. I get to move in celebrity circles, I get to know everyone's secrets, I get fan mail. Life is good.
And this month I finally got a chance to examine The Hulk. Normally when the military capture him they'll call in Reed Richards, or, if he's unavailable, Doc Samson. They've never called me in before, but that's because he's never been caught in my territory before.
I watch Banner waking.
They wanted me to find out his secrets so they could make an army of Hulks. We've seen grey and green Hulks, but they wanted red Hulks. But that wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to know his secrets so that life would make sense again.
My mutation's given me a great intellect, and I turned that intellect towards the study of Physics. But then The Hulk comes along and doesn't conform to what I've learned. The things I know are that energy cannot be created or destroyed, and that people at ground zero during bomb testing will get blown to bits.
Banner wakes. He looks around.
He spots the one-way mirror straight away, but, since he's used to being observed, ignores it. He then walks to the table with my journal lying open upon it.
My notes are in English. I want Banner to be able to read them after all. Natasha, who's such a good spy that the Americans mistakenly believe that she's working for them, has sent me all the files SHIELD hold on Banner and none of them indicate any Russian language expertise.
First he'll be reading of all the tests that I did on him. Of course he won't believe what I've written at first but I've given him access to a lab so that he can repeat them.
It looks like he's got to the interesting bit, he's started moving towards the lab. He'll be doing the carbon-dating test on himself. Wait a few hours.
Time passes.
Was that a scream of "No!!!!!" I heard? He must have discovered that he's only three years old.
Three years ago they tested Bruce Banner's gamma bomb. The gamma ray energy tore through Bruce's body, near-infinite quantum reactions took place as the energy attempted to deconstruct and mimic the life it destroyed. Bruce isn't Bruce, Bruce is the gamma rays. But there's too much energy there to copy Bruce properly, it takes too much concentration to keep Bruce's form, and when it loses that concentration the best copy it can manage is The Hulk.
He's reading the rest of my journal in a daze. He's not taking in my theories about Rick Jones. Less energy replaced him as he died in the gamma ray blasts, so the energy can maintain his form successfully. The latent energy manifested itself in the Kree-Skrull war in the shape of some old heroes drawn from Rick's (or, more precisely, a copy of Rick's) consciousness.
He's probably still skeptical about why Reed Richards didn't spot this, as was I. Now he's reading my theory on this. Reed did spot it. He couldn't tell people because of the effect it would have on his teammates. After all, they're just bundles of energy copying people, but Sue, Johnny and Ben just don't realise it. Gamma rays, cosmic rays - they're all pretty much the same thing. And then there was the Phoenix incident, where an energy copy of Jean Grey wreaked havoc. There's probably numerous heroes and villains I could speculate over, but I can leave that to another day.
I watch Bruce. He's writing something on my journal. He holds it up so that I can read it.
"GOOD WORK"
Bruce realises what I realised. That he's been the monster all along, not The Hulk.
He might never have found out but the Russian military had to come along and throw The Gremlin in the works.
Banner changes to The Hulk one last time. He doesn't struggle. He just changes peacefully. But not into The Hulk I know. A different one. A less human one. A peaceful, smiling Hulk.
The monster has gone away.
THE END