I tried to let him go.
I really did.
Because I know that what he does to me is wrong.
Bad.
But every day after he brings me flowers.
And he smiles and kisses my forehead.
And says,
"Ino, I'll never do it again, I promise" Even though we both know the next time Deidara or Sai or Naruto gets a promotion instead of him he'll just do it again.
Then he asks me to make dinner for him because he can't be bothered to do it because the game or the fight or the news is on and, anyway, I'm better at cooking.
And I just smile and say,
"Of course, Itachi," and go make his fucking dinner and when I give it to him, I try to stay out of the way of his cigarette smoke and the TV when all I really want to do is just throw the food in his face and leave.
And we both know that.
And we both know that I can't leave.
Because I can't get a job because he convinced me to drop out of college.
Because I can't use my credit cards because the money's in his account.
Because if I filed for a divorce he'd kill me.
So I do as I'm told and when he comes home angry I pray to God that he'll just light a cigarette and drink himself to sleep this time instead of finding me in our bedroom where he'll pull my hair and call me a whore and tell me it's my fault that he's not doing well enough at work.
And then he'll punch my stomach and rip off my clothes and force me.
And after he's finished he'll push me off the bed and tell me to sleep on the floor like the bitch I am.
Bitch.
Get it?
Then when I wake up I'm bruised and sore and just so tired of everything.
So when I take my shower I never really feel clean anymore.
And when I have to wear clothes that cover my once-beautiful body in a horrible, lumpy way, I never feel attractive or sexy anymore.
And when he wakes up he just glares and says,
"You better not have used up all the hot water. Go make my breakfast," I have to go make his breakfast because I was going to make mine anyway and if I don't make his he may hurt me again.
When I finish his breakfast he just comes down and eats it then leaves.
So I call Shikamaru and ask him to come over and talk because Shikamaru's my only remaining friend that's mine and not Itachi's.
And Shikamaru always says yes because he runs his own business and can take time off whenever he wants.
So when Shikamaru and I are alone in my big kitchen in Itachi's big house and we're just staring at each other because we both know what I'm about to say and neither of us want to bring it up we talk about how it used to be.
In high school.
Before Itachi ever came into the picture to ruin me.
When I was the queen of Konoha High and Shikamaru and Chouji-God, I miss Chouji-were my loyal knights.
When Sasuke and I dated for freshmen and sophomore year and I dumped him because I had my eye on Sai, who had finally agreed to eat lunch with me.
And I set Sakura and Sasuke up (they're married now, all thanks to me).
High school.
When girls shit themselves at the sight of me and dug their acrylic nails into their boyfriend's arms and had huge bitch-fests if their guy even glanced at me.
Because I was the gorgeous, thin, blonde Queen of Konoha High.
I was the one every guy wanted.
And then as soon as we got on that point, Shikamaru's eyes would meet mine in the most smoldering way and I'd force myself to look away because I couldn't deal with something like that while I was married to Itachi.
And he would reach across the table and let his fingers brush the hair out of my eyes oh-so softly and whisper,
"Ino, you have to tell somebody about this," and I would catch his fingers with mine and close my eyes and shake my head, trying to dispel all memory of the previous night.
"He'd kill me," I always say that and every time I believe It more.
Because if he's willing to beat and rape and fucking crush me while he "loves" me.
What the fuck would he do to me when he's allowed to hate me?
Then the clock would read noon and I'd ask Shikamaru to please leave because I had to clean the house for Itachi and Shikamaru would shake his head and leave quietly and I know that he just wants to help.
So I would clean the house so thoroughly that it seems to sparkle and I'd hear his car come up the drive and I'd go smooth out my hair and be waiting by the door like a little dog.
Like a little bitch.
His little bitch.
Bitch.
Get it?
And he'd come, all smiles and happiness and he's hand me a big bouquet of daffodils or lilies because roses are too expensive for him to be buying them twice a week.
And he'd kiss my forehead and promise not to hurt me again.
A lie that we both know will go on and on.
And on.
And on.
Until one day I snap and just shoot that fucking bastard in the head for all the shit that I've taken from him.
Or until one day he hits too hard and I snap literally.
But until one of those days come, I'm stuck like this.
In this stupid, ugly shell of high school Ino.
When I was the Queen of Konoha High.