A/N: I don't know why I wrote this.
Disclaimer: I don't own Love Live.
Honoka let out a depressed sigh as she flicked off the lights to her room and laid down onto her bed, staring up at the ceiling. It was a Friday night, and normally that meant she would be spending time with her childhood friends Kotori and Umi, but today was a bit different. Umi had told her that she wouldn't be able to hang out because she had to help her family with some work. Normally this would just mean that Honoka and Kotori would just spend time together and have a good time just the two of them. That didn't happen though, when Kotori heard Umi wouldn't be their she immediately made some excuse to not spend time with Honoka and left, not even walking home with Honoka.
Honoka flipped onto her stomach and buried her face into her pillow, she could feel the tears coming on. She knew she wasn't the most observant person, but even she could tell that Kotori had been avoiding spending time with her when Umi wasn't around. It had been like this in the two months since Honoka had stopped her from studying abroad. Kotori would always find some excuse to leave or would just try and leave before Honoka could ask her to spend any time together.
All of this was the exact opposite of what Honoka had thought would happen when Kotori had decided to stay in Japan. She thought they would be able to grow even closer, that Kotori nearly leaving would forge an even stronger bond between the three friends. It never even occurred to her that it could drive them apart at all. Well, drive one of them apart and seemingly bring two of them closer, at least that's how Honoka saw it. It seemed that Kotori really was only interested in spending time together with Umi, and it hurt Honoka so much to think about.
Honoka buried her face deeper into her pillow as she silently began to sob. Her mind began to drift to the feelings she had developed for Kotori ever since she brought her back from the airport. They were feelings that she had only discovered as she was so close to losing someone that she so deeply cared for. Honoka knew that she was in love with Kotori, and that realization was what made this so hard. To see the person she so deeply cares about ignore her, and attempt to find excuses to avoid her, made the loneliness so much worse. To see the girl she loved only want to spend time around her other best friend hurt a lot. It hurt not only because Kotori wanted to seemingly only spend time with Umi, but also because Honoka thought that she simply couldn't compete with Umi for Kotori's affection.
Umi was everything that Honoka had always been told she should be. Umi was responsible and always looking out for everyone around her, especially Honoka. She was always at the top of the class and always got her homework and other school work done on time. She was so active in school activities being a member of the archery club, a school idol, and being vice president of the student council. Even some of Umi's faults where seen as cute and endearing, whether it be her fear of anything romantic, or her nervousness performing in front of people. Honoka knew that Umi was everything anyone would ever want in a girlfriend, and if Kotori really did fall for Umi she simply wouldn't be able to compete.
She also wondered if she had already lost to Umi and that Kotori was already in love with her, or at least cared for her more than she did Honoka. Honoka thought of the way that only Kotori would be able to pacify an angry Umi, or the way the two would seemingly bond over having to deal with Honoka's own antics. Biggest of all was that it seemed like Kotori trusted and cared more for Umi than she did for Honoka. It seemed so obvious to Honoka after she learned that Kotori only told Umi about her leaving the country and didn't tell Honoka until only a few days before she left. Honoka thought that she was simply in second place when it came to Kotori, and that it was really only Umi that had her full attention.
Honoka hated having theses thoughts, this doubt of her longstanding friendship with Kotori. That maybe this whole time she really was just second best.
It made Honoka's heart sink. This love she felt for Kotori just simply would not go away. It sat in her heart and was almost like a festering wound, the more she tried to ignore the more painful it became. She knew she had to do something about it, to get this feeling out of her to finally tell someone and let it all out in the open. If she did that, maybe than would she finally be able to move on from this obviously one sided love.
Honoka's tears stopped, she rolled over onto her back as she got an idea. She knew what she had to do in order to get rid of this love and maybe finally be able to reset her relationship with Kotori.
Tomorrow was a Saturday that meant Kotori would probably be at home, so Honoka would finally be able to talk to her. She would tell her about her feelings and how much she loved her, she would pour it all out to her. Honoka knew that Kotori wouldn't return her feelings, but maybe if she was finally able to let this love out, she could finally go back to feeling normal again.
It was around noon as Honoka stood outside the front door of the Minami household. Honoka had started to take a few deep breaths to calm herself and began to mentally prepare for a confession she was sure wouldn't be returned.
It would be the first time that she would have had any time to talk to Kotori alone in almost two months. They had been left alone a few times by coincidence, but they had never really talked.
Honoka took a deep breath as she rang the doorbell. She thought that she would be more nervous than she was, but maybe knowing that your confession would be rejected made things a bit easier for her.
After a minute the door opened slowly revealing Kotori still in her pajamas. When she noticed Honoka her eyes went a bit wide and she had a bit of a surprised expression.
"What are you doing here so early Honoka, it's not like you to be out of bed this early on a Saturday." Kotori said with a nervous smile.
"I actually wanted to talk to you about something important. So is it alright if I come inside so we can talk."
Honoka's seriousness took Kotori off guard, "well I'm not really ready to have guests over." Kotori told her while nervously wringing her hands together.
"I won't be long. I just have some things I need to tell you and than I'll go, so you don't have to worry to much."
Kotori didn't answer and simply gave her a small nod while motioning Honoka to come inside. Honoka followed behind Kotori while removing her shoes in the entryway as she entered the home. Kotori didn't talk as she lead Honoka up to her room. Once inside the two friends both took a seat on the bed as Honoka prepared herself.
"S-so what did you need to talk about Honoka?"
Kotori was nervous and she couldn't really hide it. She knew why Honoka was here and had been dreading having this talk for two months now. She was aware that she had been avoiding Honoka and that it must be hurting her friend a lot. She knew that she had to fix this and that now was the time to do it, she just hoped that she could finally gather the courage she needed.
Honoka took a deep breath and turned to look Kotori in the eyes before she started.
"Why have you been avoiding me ever since I stopped you from leaving Japan?"
"It's kinda hard to explain Honoka." Kotori answered, but she knew that wouldn't be good enough.
"Can you at least try to? Because you're really hurting me. You almost act like I don't exist when it's only the two of us."
"It isn't that easy Honoka. I really want to tell you but it's hard for me."
Kotori knew that wasn't a good answer, and she hated this part of her personality. She would always look to Honoka for strength in a situation like this, but when she couldn't do that she had a hard time saying difficult things. When Kotori looked over at Honoka the sight broke her heart. Her friend, who's strength she had always relied on, was crying right in front of her.
When Honoka heard Kotori's answer she got upset. She was angry that she couldn't get a straight answer out of someone who she had once been so close to. It seemed like the girl she was in love with was trying to push her away rather than bring her closer. So Honoka began to cry before she continued again.
"It's Umi, isn't it." Honoka's words came out sharp.
"What does Umi have to do with this?" Kotori was surprised at this. She really wasn't sure why Honoka would bring up Umi.
"You would rather spend time with her wouldn't you? That's why you've been avoiding me isn't it."
"No! You're wrong that's not it at all. Why would you even think like that Honoka?"
"The only time I ever get to spend time with you is if Umi is around. Anytime she leaves or has something to do, you would find an excuse to get away from me."
Honoka was openly crying now, not even attempting to hold back. Kotori wasn't sure what to do, she hated knowing that she was the one that caused her strong friend to break down like this. When Kotori looked over to Honoka and saw those tear stained blue eyes, she almost started to cry herself.
"That's not it at all Honoka. This has nothing to do with Umi."
"Well why does it seem like you care about her more than me? I know that you two still spend time together when I'm not around."
Kotori wasn't really sure how to respond to that. Part of it was true, that she was still spending time with just Umi once in a while and that she wasn't spending time with Honoka. She wasn't able to dwell on the thoughts much longer before Honoka continued.
"You love her don't you?"
Time seemed to stand still for Kotori once she heard those words. Why would Honoka think something like that? Sure Kotori wasn't spending any time together with Honoka, but how could she ever come to some conclusion like that. Kotori was in love with someone and it was the reason that she had been avoiding Honoka, but she couldn't tell her that right now. She had to find out some way to fix this misunderstanding.
"Honoka, where did you get that idea?"
"Because it seems like Umi is the only person you care about!" Honoka yelled out at her friend.
Kotori was shocked at her friends outburst. Honoka almost never yelled at anyone and she had never seen her yell at a friend like she just had. Kotori could feel her own tears beginning to form, but she wouldn't cry, not now. This was her fault and she knew that she needed to fix this situation somehow.
"How could you even think like that Honoka! I really do care about you. I know I haven't been showing it very well lately, but you are still one of my most important friends."
"Well than why is Umi the only person you seem to be going to lately. Why can't you come to me, why can't we be close again? Why did you go to her when you were about to leave and not me!?" Honoka shouted out her question. She was starting to get away from the reason she initially came to see Kotori, but that didn't matter now, she needed this too.
As Kotori heard that last sentence everything seemed to suddenly click. Why Honoka was acting the way she was, and why Honoka thought she loved Umi. She had to fix this. She needed to let Honoka know why she didn't tell her and finally fix this whole problem. Just as she was about to explain Honoka cut her off and began talking.
"You know this isn't even really the reason I came over here today. I actually have something I've been holding in for a while now that I just need to tell you, than I'll leave."
Honoka decided she just really had enough and was going to get to the main reason she was even here in the first place. She was going to confess to Kotori than leave and hope maybe that would solve something. Maybe it would be able to ease a bit of this pain.
"Kotori, you have always been by my side ever since we became friends and I have always cherished the time we've spent together."
Kotori wanted to cut her off and just explain everything. Why she had been ignoring her and why she went to Umi, but she couldn't. Something about what Honoka was saying drew her in and she just had to listen.
"I've always loved you as a friend. I thought that would never change, but that was before I was told I could lose you."
Kotori blushed a bit her admission of love, even it was only as friends.
"When I heard that you where leaving I was devastated. I thought that it was all my fault, that if I had just paid a bit more attention to you and your feelings than none of that would have ever happened. I guess it took me almost losing you to finally figure out how much you truly meant to me."
Kotori almost couldn't contain herself as she heard Honoka continue. This almost sounded like a bit of a confession. Maybe if Honoka felt the same way that she did, she would finally be able to clear up this horrible misunderstanding.
"The truth is Kotori I love you. Not as a friend. I want to get closer to you, I want to protect you, I want to be by your side forever. I want to be able to touch you, hold you, and never let you go." Honoka's face grew a bright shade of red as she simply looked down at her knees.
Kotori was fighting back a large blush as well, but she was so incredibly happy. To hear that Honoka loved her just as much as she loved Honoka made her heart soar to heights she never thought it could reach. As she was about to embrace her friend, Honoka stood up from the bed and started to make her way to the door.
"I know nothing will ever come from these feeling though. I know that you probably don't feel the same way and that you love Umi. It's fine you don't have to answer me I wasn't expecting a yes anyway."
Kotori knew she couldn't let this happen. After months of attempting to distance herself from her feelings, after months of being a coward she would finally be able to face these feelings.
As Honoka was making her way toward the door she felt something tug at her hand. She turned to see Kotori with both of her hands wrapped around her wrist, preventing her from leaving. This made it so much harder, she thought she would be able to just quickly leave.
"Kotori, you really don't have to give me an answer, I'll be fine."
"No. Sit back down and let me give you a proper answer." Kotori demanded with determination thick in her voice.
Honoka didn't answer and simply did as she was told. She had almost never seen Kotori this determined, so she decided to do as she was told.
"Honoka, why do you think that I love Umi?"
"Well, you only seem interested in spending time with Umi lately. I guess it also seems like you care about her more."
Kotori knew that the first part was her fault, she was spending a lot more time with Umi these past two months, than she had with Honoka, but the second part was just untrue. She knew she didn't care for Umi more, in fact it was the opposite.
"I know I've been avoiding you Honoka, but why do you think I care more about Umi?"
"I guess I've started thinking that ever since I learned you talked to her about leaving before me." Honoka let out a small sigh before continuing. "I guess it makes sense. I mean who wouldn't trust Umi to help them make a tough decision like that. She's so mature about these things, and I'm not."
Kotori had never realized how much of an impact that one issue had on her friend. She knew that she was probably upset about it, but Kotori never thought it was something Honoka would take so personally like she had.
"Honoka do you know why I told Umi instead of talking to you?"
Honoka didn't answer and simply looked over at Kotori. She knew the answer would probably hurt.
"It actually has to do with why I've been avoiding you. I told her because I knew that she wouldn't be able to stop me from leaving."
"So you told her because she would be responsible and let you go. You thought if you told me I would just be selfish and tell you to stay." Honoka answered as she looked down.
"That's not what I meant all!" Kotori stood up as she shouted. "The only person who could have stopped me was you! It could only have been you Honoka."
Honoka didn't respond as she looked up at her friend who was now standing over her.
"I knew that even if Umi asked me to stay I wouldn't have, that's why I told her." Kotori's face softened as she looked down into Honoka's eyes. "I knew that the only person who could have stopped me was the girl that I loved."
Honoka's mind went blank at the sudden confession. None of this seemed believable to Honoka. She just simply sat and stared at Kotori not really sure what to say next.
"Huh?" That was all Honoka could really get out.
"I said, I love you Honoka." Kotori responded in a low voice as a deep blush spread across her face. She had finally, after all this time, been able to tell Honoka how she felt about her.
Honoka simply blinked a few times as her mouth hung slightly open.
"You really love me?"
"Yes Honoka. That's what I said right. I love you." Kotori made sure to emphasize those last three words.
"This isn't a joke right?"
"Nope."
"So you really do love me?"
"Yes."
"This isn't like just pity or anything, because that would be really mean."
Kotori didn't respond and simply rolled her eyes, she was tired of answering these question. So she bent down and wrapped her arms around Honoka's neck and leaned in to kiss her. This was bold, even by Honoka's standards, but she didn't care she wanted this.
As their lips met they both fell back onto the bed. Honoka couldn't believe what was happening. She was so certain that her feelings would be rejected she had never thought it could lead to this. Honoka decided to fully enjoy the moment as she put her hands on Kotori's waist and pulled her in closer. Honoka was lost in the softness of Kotori's lips. She savored the taste of her love as she continued to simply pull her in closer seeking more of this amazing feeling.
Kotori couldn't really take it anymore without risking going further so she was the first to breakaway, laying down on her side next to Honoka.
Honoka was disappointed as Kotori pulled away, she could have stayed in that embrace forever. But she didn't protest as she simply rolled onto her side and faced Kotori as she spoke up.
"Well know do you believe me when I say I love you?" Kotori said with a giggle.
"Hehe, I guess I do." Honoka answered while staring at her new lover, she still couldn't believe it.
"Well can we go back to being close again?" Kotori questioned slightly hesitant. She was sure they would be okay but needed to hear it from Honoka.
"Nope." Kotori was upset at Honoka's quick answer. "We get to be even closer now." As Honoka said this she leaned forward giving Kotori a quick peck on her lips.
They both simply laid on the bed and enjoyed each others presence. Until Honoka realized she didn't even get an answer for the first question she asked Kotori.
"Wait. If you loved me like you say you do, why have you been avoiding me for two months?" Honoka told her a bit angrily. It just didn't make sense to her, if you loved someone wouldn't you try and spend more time to them. Maybe Kotori was just messing with her.
"I was avoiding you because I love you." As Kotori said this she realized that it wasn't a very good excuse, and it earned a blank stare from Honoka.
"W-well you know I haven't always been very confident in myself right Honoka." Honoka nodded in agreement letting Kotori continue. "Well I was afraid that if I told you about how I felt than we wouldn't be as close as we where and it would ruin our friendship." As Kotori finished she looked away from Honoka slightly embarrassed.
"So, in order to save our friendship you started avoiding me."
When Honoka put it like that it really did sound stupid to Kotori. That she was willing to avoid her oldest friend and her love. Kotori didn't answer and simply buried her head into the bed, it made her sound so childish, Honoka must hate her because of it.
To Kotori's suprise she could hear Honoka laugh as she picked her head up from the sheets of the bed. It was comforting to see that it hadn't affected her the way Kotori thought it would have.
"Oh man Kotori, and I thought you where supposed to be the mature one." Honoka said in between her laughs, getting a small frown and huff from Kotori.
"That's not nice you know. I really thought it would ruin our friendship." Kotori turned her head slightly small pout still present on her face.
"Well, I don't think avoiding me for two months helped it very much either." Honoka had been able to calm her laughter down and became a bit more serious.
"I know that! But I was scared I wasn't really sure what to do. I've always relied on your courage to help me make big decisions like this."
Honoka didn't respond and simply pulled Kotori into a tight hug. Kotori was quick to return the embrace and nuzzled into Honoka's chest.
"Well now you don't have to worry about any of that because we are going to be there for each other right?" Honoka asked as she started to run her fingers through Kotori's hair.
Kotori didn't give an audible answer and simply nodded her head. They stayed this way for a few minutes before Honoka spoke up again.
"And no more secrets between us."
Kotori didn't immediately answer and slightly pushed away from the embrace to look up to Honoka. Their eyes met as Kotori quickly leaned in for a quick kiss before giving her answer.
"Yep. No more secrets."
As Kotori finished she returned placed her head back into Honoka's enjoying the warmth of her new lover.
A/N: So this is really just sort of a test run of a much larger idea that I had. That won't be coming for some time though and honestly I just enjoyed writing some HonoKoto so I figured I'd put this out there. Even if this isn't as fluffy as I wanted it to be.