'The beach is so nice this time of year. Maybe I should try to surf. Well... falling off a lot and trying not to drown doesn't sound fun. Uh, I don't remember wearing a hat when I dozed off.'
The young man gets up from the sand and starts to look around.
" Ok you fuck, fun's over! This is funny as fuckin a dead horse. Dank jojo mask though."
Only wearing his birthday suit and waking up nowhere near the resorts didn't help his mood. As he reachs the tree line he sees the grass move way for someone.
" By Odin's fucked up eye, if you ruined my new clothes I'm going-"
At that point he's world stops. Out of the brush a gaint money walks out on all fours. It raises arms thicker then the near by trees before giving a deafening roar.
" That looks, sounds, and smells real... so bye!"
The man rushs down the beach. He takes a look behind him to see the unthinkable. A fucking tree.
" Welp I'm-"
Meaty Slap"Fucked..."
Seeing that the smaller monkey not getting up, it gives a snort then walks off.
Some time passes before our slightly crushed protagonist wakes up yelling.
" Fuuuuck. Ow, is that a fucking crab? Fuck off with your clawing me. Wait... Double fuck, I can't feel my legs. Did you hear that Forest?"
He points over to the jungle. Not hearing anything he drops his arm onto the warm sand. At that point the crab pinches him again. He looks over to the crab then starts to punch it repeatedly.
" What, The, Fuck, Is, Happening!"
As soon as he stops punching the crab it gives him one more pinch beforer scurrying into the ocean.
" Ok! Fuck you! Think for a second you fucking limbotomite. Naked, mask, fuck all monkey, tree, and broken back. If the mask is real I'll die from the sun. If it's not I'll just die here with my dick in the sand. Hopefully I won't bleed out before sundown."
After many smacked crabs and three bored birds, the sun sets.
" Well... Yolo?"
Putting on the mask, he waits for the pain to come. It never did.
" I'm going to die here! Wait.. I frogot the blood. Ok, there you go?"
He didn't get time to scream before the mask skull fucks him. Seeing hes meal die, the determined crab start to work. Only to be crushed by a hand.
" Yes! cough... I mean... ya, fuck Ya! Suck it crab! Damn, this tree is light as fuck now. Well, I'm a big ass tick now. Time to kill that fuckin monkey and fuck around."
He throws the tree into the ocean then walks into the jungle. Around ten minutes in he see a small row boat hidden in the grass.
" Dank, I fucking hate this jungle shit. Fuck this, Fuck you monkey, im leaving! Out."
A tree is in the way of the boat and our protagonist. So like a normal person, he kicks it down and starts to drag the boat away. Only to stop as he hears a roar. The tree fell on a ape. It roars again as it tries to get free.
" Ya, I dont know or care if you through that tree at me, but I'm killing you. Wonder if monkey blood is any good?"
He jabs a hand into the monkeys throat. As the monkey is being used as a juice pack, it gives a mighty death scream.
" Fuck you too, bye-"
One after another, hundreds of roars sound through the forest.
" Nope, nope, nope, no."
As he reachs the beach a uncomfortable wave of fur is everywhere.
" Fuck this shit I'm out!"
With a full sprint he jumps into the ocean. The monkeys, knowing water is bad, just start to trow anything at him. Not wanting to get hurt, he flips the boat upside-down and starts to swim away.
" Fuck furries."
Many hours pass as he mindlessly swims. Until he loses his feet.
"Well, fuck me sideways."
He pulls fully into the boat and looks at he's stubs.
" I'm going to guess that the Suns up. Nap? Ya..."
Now I have to wright down that some time pass, great...
" I swear, If thats a crab I'll start to kill evey one I see!"
He looks down and sees a shark deep-throating his leg. He jams his hands into its mouth and start to pull them apart. End result is a ripped in half shark, and even more sharks.
" I really don't know what orphanage I burnt down to deserve this!"