Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT. I just love writing stories about them!
I made this story after seeing an old challenge tmntflashfic for Regrets - Challenge Theme 002. If you enjoy the story, yay! Please comment !
Slash Warning: Raph/Casey
"At least he's happy…"
It was his favorite phrase these days. He used it each time he saw Raph slink away after pulling out that weird swirling ball that fit in the red masked turtle's hand. Mikey had dubbed it the "Mona Ball" since Raph hadn't met a Crystal.
Casey had asked Raph once if the thing could even call anyone else only for the reptilian teen to shrug. He doubted the shell brain even tried. Why would he? He had Mona, and he was reduced to the best friend side kick.
It was never like he was something else.
He had tried to find the right time to tell him or even the right way. Every time that he tried, the words got caught in his throat then catch himself staring at those striking green eyes. He'd watch the way Raph's arms flex when he'd punch one of those Purple Dragon punks. He would always have to force himself to stop staring.
It was harder not to stare when Raph would smirk. The devilish expression would make the turtle's green eyes more electric, and Casey always found it hard to ignore with the way his heart would skip a beat. The worse part was when he would forget to smirk back at the shellbrain.
He tried everything to get his feelings across..
He skipped classes to see him. He sneaked into the lair even though he knew that he'd return home to that familiar look in his father's eyes, full of pain and disappointment. He even dared to skip some hockey practices. If Raph needed him, that's all that mattered.
He tried flirting with April, hoping that it would do something, but the turtle would only roll his eyes at him then remind him about Don. He tried flirting with others the moment he realized he was getting nowhere with that plan but that only ended every time with a punch to his head and Raph telling him to make a damn decision.
It pissed Casey off because he'd made a decision a long time ago, and it was the idiot that was by his side the most.
Then the invasion happened, and they had to run;run like hell. Casey had to leave behind his baby sister who never did a thing and his dad who he kept disappointing, but he couldn't find it in him to respect the man. His mom was buried in the spot with cherry blossoms hanging over it. He could still remember the way she'd sit under the ones in the park and read to him. He hated books now.
The farm had been one insane adventure that had him applauding April and Don. They looked like they were going in the right direction and he was cool with D now. Still, he said nothing to Raph, but his heart leaped at the smile on Raph's face when Leo had awaken from that coma.
Finally, it was time to leave the farm;only to go back and see that their city was in deeper shit than when they left it, which made them try to save it..
Space came next, and that's where his heart broke in two. That was where Raph met the salamandrian. It was where Raph kissed her, where Raph forgave her, and where Raph asked the question that started the whole thing. Why didn't he say anything then?
Now they were back on Earth;the world they had saved and the world where Raph kept that tiny little crystal ball on him better than he did his t-phone.
They were supposed to be drinking,celebrating that his best friend didn't lose his shit when it came to the insects that he had to face;even though the thought of facing the Rat King had Casey feeling faint. He leaned back, his hands gripping the ledge as he enjoyed the night sky. In the morning, the sun would be hell against his skin.
The moon was full and he could hear his mom's faint whispers about the magic of the full moon as the summer wind brushed his skin. He lowered his eyes, feeling the sting at the corners of his eyes before he wiped furiously at them. The ache was still there even though it had been years.
He looked over the horizon and towards his neighborhood. He couldn't see the little store or the auto shop connected to it ,but the image in his head was clear. The smoke rose while sparks of yellow, red and orange danced in the air and over the store frame. He could still smell it sometimes. Casey could still feel it choking him as he found it hard to breathe. His eyes were wide as Hun's laughter bellowed over everything while rage took over. His fists did nothing as he tried to fight the man and was only thrown somewhere. His father muttered apologies while holding his baby sister in his arms.
It had been a full moon that night. The night his family was torn apart by flames and his own father. Full moons weren't magic. It was still hard to believe that his father had been over the gang;that his father's friend Hun wanted more than his mom's famous pot roast. He still hadn't told Raph the other reasons he hated Hun so much or why he wanted that gang gone so badly.
It never stopped Raph from helping him.
He continued looking over the cityscape. Towers loomed. Lights gleamed. The roads were alive and pulsed along with the music that could be heard if he listened hard enough. He heard cats. dogs,the sound of broken glass somewhere, and laughter in an alley. Out there, somewhere, a train was moving,a baby was yelling,and a cab had broken down with an irate passenger inside of it. The noises clashed, but they breathed life into the city.
He concentrated on that and not on the murmur of voices nearby on the roof. He tried not to listen to the whispers,the long sighs, orthe noticeable small beats of silence. He closed his eyes, hoping the car horns below would cover it.
But Raph's voice always carried to him. Gruff. Gravelly. Rough around the edges with nothing but Brooklyn around the corners. It was like a fight; passion behind each swing that left nothing out, yet it left a high that kept him wanting more.
He hated it. He loved it.
It was just like those eyes;electric fire that burned green with red framed around them. They struck him. They burned him. They broke him just a little more inside at every turn knowing that he couldn't have him. The words were trapped inside of him, this time because he had no choice. The chance was gone. He still wished he had said something.
He could hear Raph's footsteps and glanced in the direction as the figure slid from what seemed nowhere. The darkness seemed to know its master as Raph easily melted into it,but Casey smirked as the moonlight caught the green turtle before he plopped down next to him.
"Nice talk?" he chuckled awkwardly,having no clue what else to say. They were supposed to be celebrating,yet Mona hung in the background.
There was nothing but silence and Casey's brow rose at the lack of a comeback. His eyes roamed over the scarred face and the tattered tails of the red mask that fell onto the turtle's shoulder. There were still no words and he now found the silence deafening. His heart raced, suddenly afraid of what the newt might have said. She wouldn't ask him to stop being my friend or something? Would she?
The idea came from nowhere ,but it was always a fear. Next to Raph, Casey knew he was no ninja. The Salamandrian even managed to punch her harder than he had according to Raph. That information stung.
"I broke up with her."
Casey blinked. Comforting words wanted to come, but it would have all been a lie, so he shut his mouth. His brows pinched before two hands suddenly grabbed him by his shirt and his face was against Raph's.
The green eyes that he was used to seeing fire, held confusion as his own heart raced with them so close. Their lips touched and brushed against each other before pressing against the other further. Clumsy. Awkward. The kisses became rougher as their tongues touched and suddenly he remembered that he needed to breath as Raph pulled back, a smug smirk on his face while Casey stared breathless at the reptile.
Usually Casey would be all for knocking it off his face, but it only made his cheeks burn.
"Why?"
Casey barely realized he spoke. Words seemed foreign in his head. One was no different from the other as he tried to stop staring.
"Didn't wanna keep wonderin' what if I woulda told ya how I felt instead of gettin' with Mona. So...do you think we could…"
Casey's brow rose along with his confidence, as a smirk began to form. A nervous Raph was always rare, but he watched the red masked teen fidget and look anywhere but at him.
"Date?" he thought his feelings were obvious. He had kissed back and even the damn turtle had to know he was good. He looked over Raph, the smugness was gone and he had to remind himself of how insecure the other male could be.
"Raph?" Casey's hand reached out to a green, three-fingered hand and gave it a squeeze before Raph's green eyes looked back at him. He gave a slow nod, a genuine smile began forming on his face as his head rested against Raph's. Casey had to remember to breathe at the smile he received back from the turtle and time stood still.
"Yo Case...ya got any regrets?"
The sudden question made Casey pause. He thought his head would become an ocean of memories but only one stood out,blocking out the rest as he remembered Raph's voice asking him should he date a newt.
"One but...it's all good now."
He saw the brow ridge rise but only shrugged before pulling away. He saw the confusion crossing Raph's face as he stood. He smiled at the full moon over him before looking back at Raph.
"Come on..want ya to meet someone."
"Who?" Raph stood and Casey started to walk with his hands in his pockets.
He looked back at Raph with a grin, warmth filling him as he started to tell his story. "Well, there's a lady who's real close to me. She really loved cherry blossoms…."