How Can I Help You to Say Goodbye?, a pokémon fanfic

Ash Ketchum sat in his room, tears running down his face. It was raining outside as hard as ever; it was one of those days when everything just went wrong.

'It can't be, it just can't be. Maybe if I go to sleep, I'll wake up and this will all be over with.'

Ash closed his eyes, but immediately opened them again. Every time his eyes closed, he saw the same set of images, images that had been haunting him since yesterday morning. Since the tragedy, he had talked to no one, but had instead locked himself up in his room, refusing to talk to anyone, not even his mother. He had locked himself in and refused to come out for anything, even food or water.

'He can't be gone, he can't; it's impossible.'

However, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't escape the truth; Pikachu was gone, dead, never to return. Ash's mind went back to what had happened yesterday morning…

Ash and company awoke to yet another normal day in Pallet Town. The Pokémon League competition was only a month away, and this time, Ash planned to get some real training in before that one month ended.

However, Team Rocket appeared yet again, and as usual, tried another trick to steal Pikachu. And yet again, they decided to use an electromagnetic magnet to capture Pikachu, which is what they had done back when Ash had first arrived in the Hoenn Region. However, Pikachu was strapped on for three times longer than that earlier incident.

After they had finally managed to rescue Pikachu, the electric pokémon had yet again started to suffer from Electric Discharge. And though Professors Birch, Elm, and Oak had been present and had all done all they could for Pikachu, they couldn't save him.

At noon, over 24 hours since the attack, Pikachu looked up at Ash, let off a small series of sparks, and then his head hit the table and Pikachu died.

As Ash sat there, there came a soft knock on the door, and then the handle started to turn; someone was using their key to unlock the door. A few seconds later, the door opened and his mother walked in.

"Come on Ash, it's time."

Ash said nothing, but stood up and followed his mother out to the backyard. Brock and Max had dug the grave for Pikachu themselves, and with May's help, they had also built Pikachu a coffin.

Everyone watched as Brock and Max carried the coffin, now containing Pikachu's body, out to the grave as the rain only fell harder.

'…Time will ease your pain. Life's about changin', nothing ever stays the same…'

Brock and Max lowered the coffin into the grave as it kept raining.

'…How can I help you to say goodbye? It's okay to hurt, and it's okay to cry…'

Brock and Max shoveled dirt into the grave, burying the coffin.

'…Come, let me hold you, and I will try…'

Misty placed a tombstone she had made herself at the head of the grave.

'…How can I help you to say goodbye?'

Ash fell to his knees at the grave, and for the first time in a long time, he broke down and started crying like a little baby.

'Pikachu, please don't go. I can't lose you, you're my best friend. Please come back Pikachu, don't leave me.'

May walked over and bent down next to him, not knowing that just her presence alone was helping him get through the death of his best friend.

"It's going to be okay Ash, don't worry."

"How will everything be okay, May? How? Pikachu is dead, my best friend is gone, and I'll never see him again."

"I understand…"

"No, you don't! None of you understand!" Ash yelled as he stood, pushed May to the ground so hard it hurt her butt, and stormed off into the house. May watched Ash's retreating form as tears started swelling up in her eyes, knowing that Ash may never be the same again.

Later that afternoon, it was still raining hard, and Ash lay on his bed, thinking of what to do. All he wanted now was to make Team Rocket pay for what they had done to Pikachu. And then he remembered overhearing Meowth as Team Rocket had run off…

'Come on you guys, we need to get back to Viridian Forest and snatch all of those rare pokémon…'

Ash stood up; his mind was made up. Team Rocket would pay the ultimate price for what they had done to his best friend.

Ash snuck downstairs and grabbed a large knife his mother always kept next to the kitchen sink to help prepare meals. He then shoved it in his coat and took off out the back door, going as fast as his feet would carry him to Viridian City.

However, little did Ash know that as he took off out the back door, May was just then walking into his bedroom to check on him. May looked out the window and saw him running off, so she decided to follow him…

Ash's POV

All I can think of is finding Team Rocket and making them pay for what they did to Pikachu. I run through the mud and the muck, not caring that it is now so cold outside that I can barely fell my hands, nor do I care that I am also soaking wet. I don't care about any of it. All I care about is finding Team Rocket and destroying them forever.

I run so fast and so hard that before I know it, I'm already in Viridian City, a trip that normally takes at least three days to complete, yet I did it in about two hours.

I keep going to the edge of town, and once I reach Viridian Forest, I send out Swellow to help me locate Team Rocket. It doesn't take long for Swellow to return, telling me that he knows where Team Rocket is. He takes off for the north, and I too take off, following Swellow the whole way.

A few minutes later, I find them, sitting under a large Oak tree and eating some fruit; I hope it's poisoned. Before I can even think about what I'm doing, I charge the three thieves…no, the three murderers. I can tell from the looks on their faces that they're just as stunned about this as I am.

I find myself standing over Jesse, and as hatred now fills my whole body, I reach into my coat and pull out the knife and then I see the blade swinging down at her neck as though in slow motion.

As it goes down towards Jesse, I feel a cold, soft hand wrap around mine, causing the knife to fall out of my hand and fly behind me. I turn around, my fists balled to hit whoever had stopped me from exacting revenge for my friend. I see May on her knees with a shocked expression on her face, a large cut across her left shoulder, blood gushing out of it. What have I done…

May's POV

I walked up to Ash's room, to see if he's okay and to try and get him to talk to me. I like Ash, he's one of the best friends I have ever had. It hurt my feelings when he pushed me down the way he did, but it hurt me even more to know that I couldn't help him. I knock on the door, but I get no answer. Finally, after no answer yet again, I open the door, and to my surprise, the room is empty. As I curiously look around, I look out the window and to my even greater surprise I see him running off towards Viridian City. I make up my mind to follow him. I wanted to give him some time and room, but now I feel as if it is important to us all that I follow him.

I feel myself start to freeze from the cold air and wet rain as the chase goes on, but I do not dare to stop. Instead, I push my body to its limits as I have never done before. I press on, knowing that I am doing the right thing. Ash and I are running at about the same speed, which let me tell you, is not an easy thing to do.

We finally reach Viridian City two hours later, and then we get to the forest fifteen minutes after that. I watch from afar as he sends Swellow out, who returns not long after. Ash runs off, following Swellow, and so I too take off, following Ash.

I'm shocked when I see Ash attack Team Rocket, and even more so when I see him pull out a huge knife and starts to drive it at Jesse's throat. I run up without thinking, grabbing his hand with the knife in it. I see the knife fall from his raised hand, and then I feel a dull burning pain, as though my shoulder's on fire. As I fall to my knees, I see Ash turn around, anger in his eyes and all over his face.

But then he sees me and that anger goes to surprise, and then to shock. He bends down next to me and looks me in the eye.

"May, why are you here? Why did you do that?"

"To keep you from doing something you would regret."

"Don't you understand, I have to do this, to avenge Pikachu."

I look at Ash through the tears now falling down my eyes, I see the cold anger and hatred return; I'm afraid of him and what he'll do, but I refuse to give up. When I talk, I know I'm crying.

"No Ash. Killing Team Rocket won't bring Pikachu back. It would make you a murderer, make you no better than they are; is that something you want? It's not something I want, and I don't think Pikachu does either."

"May…"

"Please, don't do it Ash. I don't want to lose you too."

"Aragh! I…you…oh…okay, you're right May. Thank you."

I smile as he hugs me, and then I get hit as though a Snorlax landed on me. At first I don't want to admit it, but in the end I have no choice; I can't deny it. I love Ash, with all of my heart. Mom always told me what it felt like to be in love, and I'd know it when I really was in love, and now I see what she meant…No!!! I can't fall for Ash, especially right now. He would just think I'm wrong for falling in love with him during the time he's grieving for the death of his best friend. I sigh inwardly…I'll have to bury my feelings for him deep down inside of me…

Ash's POV

I look at the wound on May's left shoulder, and though it is rather large and bloody, I can see that it's not too deep or serious, and for that, I am thankful. I just lost Pikachu, and it would kill me to lose her too. She's one of my best friends, and I don't like to see her hurt. However, I'm also angry with her for not letting me kill Team Rocket.

"May, why are you here? Why did you do that?"

"To keep you from doing something you would regret."

"Don't you understand, I have to do this, to avenge Pikachu."

I look at her, hatred and anger back in my eyes and filling my body to the brim. She looks terrified, but she doesn't give up; she keeps going, talking through her tears.

"May…"

"Please, don't do it Ash. I don't want to lose you too."

"Aragh! I…you…oh…okay, you're right May. Thank you."

And as I look at her, I realize something. I think…no, I know I'm in love with May. I can't really explain it, but I care about her more than anything. But no, I can't. I just lost Pikachu, what would people think about me if I told her I loved her right after loosing my best friend.

I watch as May smiles, at the same time pulling a poke ball off of her belt.

"Squirtle, go! Use Ice Beam on Team Rocket!"

Squirtle attacks Team Rocket and sends them packing. May recalls Squirtle into his poke ball and then I realize I do truly love her, and would do anything to make her mine…

"Umm…Ash…are you planning on holding my hand all day and night or are we going back to Pallet Town?"

"What?" I ask. Then I look down and notice that I am indeed holding her hand. Blushing furiously, I let go of her hand.

"Sorry." I mumble as I sit down next to May.

For several minutes we just sit there. Finally, I look over at her and smile.

"Thanks May."

"For what?"

"For saving me."

"From what?"

"Myself." When I say that, her face lights up and she smiles.

"You're welcome Ash."

Then, without warning, without thought, without even wanting to, I reach over and kiss May, right on the mouth. Her lips, despite the cold outside air, are warm and sweet, wet from the rain, and as soft as a feather. I expect her to pull away and be mad, to even be disgusted, but to my surprise, after a couple of quick moments, she starts to kiss back. How weird it feels, to be grieving for the loss of the best friend you have ever known, while at the same time be rejoicing and happy from getting your first ever kiss, a first kiss that's from a girl that means everything to you. Is it normal, or is it wrong? I honestly don't know, and I doubt I ever will.

May's POV

I blushed as I realized Ash was holding my hand, and he too was blushing as he sat down after I pointed that little fact out to him. The pain in my shoulder is still there, but for now I ignore it. I become really happy when he thanks me for saving him from himself. But then, he reaches over and kisses me. The nerve of that boy! To kiss me, without my permission, right after a funeral and an attempted murder. Of course, I'm also afraid and nervous. I mean, I'm not the type of girl to just let any guy kiss me, no matter how sad they are, nor no matter who they just lost. His lips are sweet and cold, wet from the rain. Yet, though I'm still shocked, I kiss him back with more passion than I have ever felt. I can't believe this is happening, and I am afraid of what's going to happen, but you'll never hear me complain.

Ash's POV

We continue to kiss, and before long, I'm hugging her, kissing her passionately yet at the same time hesitantly. It goes on for what seems like an eternity, until finally, May pushes me away.

"What…?" I start to ask, afraid that she doesn't like me after all. But then…

"Ash, we need to get back to Pallet Town, before your mom gets worried and sends in the National Guard to look for us. And Ash…"

"Yeah?" I ask, motioning for her to continue.

"Thanks for a great first kiss." She finishes, blushing as red as her clothes.

"Yeah, you too."

We stand up, I pick up the knife, and as we start walking, I take my coat off and put it over May, to keep her warm and to protect her wound from infection. Side by side, hand in hand, we walk as fast as possible back to Pallet Town.

Three hours later, thanks to a little help from Swellow, Ash and May arrive at Ash's house, well after it was fully dark. Ash's mother was hysterical when she saw the large cut on May's shoulder, and as Ash goes to tell her the truth, May cuts in and tells a tale about how they had been out walking, talking about how Ash felt, and suddenly, May saw a rather large Scyther not too far from where they were. May had crept up to get a closer look, but had accidentally spooked it, causing it to lash out wildly, catching May's shoulder. As Delia doctored May, Ash went back into the kitchen and cleaned the knife up before returning it to its proper place.

Ash's POV

I'm in my room, thinking about the past 36 hours. May is in the shower right now, cleaning up from what had happened hours ago. Mom easily bandaged her up after we got back. I'm not sure if she completely bought the whole Scyther story, but she dropped it, so I guess it'll be okay now. For a moment though I thought my mom was going to kill me.

I still miss Pikachu; his death has left a huge hole in my heart, and that hole will be there until the day I die. But, though Pikachu is gone, his memory will live on. Pikachu, you were my best friend, loyal, true, and brave until the very end. I will never forget you buddy, and I will always remember all of the good times we had together. And I am going to go on to become the Pokémon League Champion, and when I beat Gary and do become the champ, that win will be for you and you alone.

My mom walks in and tells me that Professor Oak is waiting for me downstairs. I follow her downstairs to see him standing there, talking with an over excited Max.

"Hey professor."

"Hello Ash. I'm sorry about Pikachu."

"Thanks. You and the others did all you could for him, so I appreciate it."

"Ash, I have something for you."

"What?"

"I know nothing will ever replace Pikachu, but I believe I have a way for his memory to live on."

"How?"

"I don't know if you knew this or not, but Pikachu had a mate; has had one since your last visit. Anyways, Pikachu had a son before he died, and I think you deserve to be allowed to raise and train him."

"Ummm….okay, sure, I'll do it." I say as I smile. After all, Professor Oak is right; Pikachu would be disappointed if I didn't train his son. And so this is how I will honor Pikachu's memory, by raising his son.

"And so you know, he is like his father, he hate's poke balls. Okay Pichu, come on out."

I watch as a small, yellow electric-type pokémon walks out from behind Professor Oak's legs. He looks a little different from Pikachu, and I've encountered them before, so this time I don't need my pokédex. After a while, Pichu will evolve into Pikachu.

"Hey Pichu, my name's Ash Ketchum."

"Pi?"

"Come on, I'm not going to hurt you."

Pichu stands there for a moment, but then he jumps into my arms with a large smile. And then he zaps me, though not as bad as Pikachu did on our first encounter, and I can tell Pichu is just playing around. Still, like father like son…

May's POV

As I take my shower, I look down at my chest at the large cut I sustained from Ash. It still hurts a little, though that's nothing compared to how it felt earlier. But, with the fact that I saved my best friend from becoming a cold-blooded murderer, it was well worth it. Mrs. Ketchum was nice enough to let borrow some of her clothes until she could fix and wash my suit. I really can't explain it, and I don't know why, but I have grown really fond of that woman. She's funny, caring, strong-willed, and a great cook, though, I guess when you have to raise Ash, you have to be. She treats me like I'm her own child, and that makes me feel good. I still miss Pikachu too, and I know Ash will always miss him, but I hope and pray that Ash knows that being sad and miserable will not help him in any way.

I get out of the shower, dry my body off, and throw on the clothes Mrs. Ketchum gave me. I take my brush and brush my hair down straight, deciding that I'll leave it down for the night; I can't remember the last time I did that.

I walk into Ash's room only to see him playing happily with a small, yellow pokémon of the electric type. I smile and almost yell happily, but then I realize that it's not Pikachu, but rather a Pichu, the pre-evolved form of Pikachu.

When Ash sees the look on my face, he laughs, and then he tells me that Pichu is the son of Pikachu, and that Professor Oak had asked him to honor Pikachu by raising his only son.

I agree; Pikachu would be honored for Ash to raise Pichu. And Pichu is so much like his father; he doesn't even like poke balls.

Ash and I talked about what happened in the forest, and then it happens.

"May."

"Yeah Ash?"

"I love you, with all of my heart."

"You what?"

"I…"

"I know what you said, I just can't believe it. I…I feel the same way."

"You do? How long…"

"Since the forest, but I was too afraid to tell you because I though you would think me sick for falling in love with you while you were still mourning for Pikachu."

"May, I have come to realize something. Our love for each other is not a bad thing. Pikachu liked you May, and so do I. He would be happy if he were here."

"Thanks Ash." I say as I hug him. At that moment I realize that what we feel for each other is like the beam of light from a lighthouse in the middle of a hurricane.

Ash's POV

I think about what May says as she tells me about how she feels about Pikachu's death and our feelings for each other. I felt guilty too, but then I realized that Pikachu wouldn't want his death to stop May and me from getting close.

We sit there on my bed and talk for a few more hours until we get too tired to stay up anymore. I lay down on my bed and I scoot over to make room for May, who lies down next to me. I drape my hand over her side as she lies on her side in front of me, and a minute later, we both fall asleep. We said one last thing before sleep over took us.

"May."

"Yes?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes Ash, I will. I love you."

"I love you too May. Good night."

"Night."

Delia Ketchum's POV

I could tell when Ash and May returned, soaking wet, May with a large cut to her shoulder, that something had happened. I was hysteric when I saw them, but I easily bandaged May up and got her out of her wet, filthy clothes.

I think something changed between Ash and May tonight. Something happened between the two of them while they were gone. I listen as May tells me the story about her running up on a wild Scyther and it cutting her. I never say anything, but I know she's lying. I guess she doesn't know that there are no wild Scyther around Pallet Town, or that when I went to cook dinner, my large French Knife was gone. I think May stopped Ash from doing something he'd regret, such as using the knife he snuck out to kill Team Rocket.

I take May up to my room, pull her torn shirt and bra off, and start treating her injury. She sits there, topless and silent while I work, and once I finish, I dig around in my closet. I stop for a moment, look at her slender teenage form, and decide on what to give her of mine to wear until I fix her suit back. I give her the clothes and then take her to my private bathroom next to my bedroom. I never allow anyone to use it, but May is like a daughter to me, more so than even Misty, so I allow her to get a shower.

I walk out of my room and go upstairs to remind Ash to change his underwear before he goes to bed. As I go downstairs and talk with Brock, Misty, and Max, I am more worried about my son than ever. I hope he knows there are ways to honor his fallen friend.

As we talk, the doorbell rings, and I move to get it, but Mimey beats me to it. The door opens and in walks Samuel Oak.

"Hello Delia, I need to see Ash; it's about Pikachu."

I'm confused, but I get up and go upstairs. I walk in, tell Ash Professor Oak is looking for him, and then lead him downstairs.

I watch in shock as Samuel tells us about Pikachu's son, and am more shocked when we meet Pichu. But, in the end, I agree with him; this is the best way possible to honor Pikachu, by raising and training his son.

After Samuel leaves, I walk into my room, get some clothes, and take a shower. When I get out and walk back into the living room, I see Brock and Misty sleeping close to each other, and then I see Max on the couch. Wondering where May is, I walk up to Ash's room to look for her.

When I walk in, I see them on Ash's bed, sound asleep, Ash's arm draped over May's side, a little too close to her chest for my comfort. I master the impulse to wake them up and fix it, so instead I kiss them both on the forehead and pull the covers up over them to help keep them warm. I then turn the light off and walk out, closing the door behind me.

As I go to sleep, I realize with tears that my baby boy is growing up on me right before my very eyes. And for some reason, as I go to sleep, I see a quick image. In it is a church, a beautiful day, flowers, Ash all dressed up, and May in a white dress with bells in the background…

A month later, Ash Ketchum faced Gary Oak for the Pokémon League Championship. It was an extensive battle, the final round coming down to Gary's Swampert and Blastoise against Ash's Pichu.

Dodging two deadly Ice Beam attacks, Pichu dove into the water with his opponents, and then performed a ThunderBolt that would have made his father proud.

As Lance the Dragon Master and Professor Oak crowned Ash the Pokémon League Champion and thus the strongest trainer in Kanto and Johto, Ash looked up at the sky and smiled.

"This win was for you Pikachu; we finally did it buddy."

Somewhere far, far away, a small yellow electric mouse pokémon answered his best friend happily…