Alright everyone, I is here. Wondered over to depart my disturbing reality
of angst and true psychological trauma upon you. Oh and Reviews are wanted,
because if you don't review then I'll just give up on this one. Have
decided that the original style of the story did not do it justice,
actually Rei's character is very hard to get down correctly. Time for a
change.
~...~ =Thoughts "..." =speech ***** =scene change
Bugs In The Mirror- "Charcoal details"
~Chandra
~I've watched you, each day through the glass. The colors have all turned to gray. Remember you cried and they laughed. Can't you all just go away..?~
~What kind of person lives in a place like this?~ He would ask himself this daily as the sun burned down upon dirty streets outside, waking up the sounds and smells that were the warehouse district. Like most of his generation he was lost, a fallen angel in a concrete Hell searching for the answers to his sins.
One floor below him in one of the less than efficient apartments the day's melodrama of masochistic romance played itself out in a rhythm of shouts and crashes. The tradition seven-thirty fight followed him through is daily routine and the two room disaster he called home. Then it came to a climax, the thud of something soft and fleshy hitting the wall before sliding down to the floor below accompanied the slam of his door. Stifled sobs followed him down the cracked and worn stairwell, giving new depth to the graffiti scrawled across its walls.
Somewhere inside Rei felt his green eyes harden like the emeralds that shared their color as he passed her, curled form of tangled hair and shuttering shoulders. For an instant the emptiness inside him was filled with the uncontrollable fires of hate, he had seen it all before. She was nothing more than another victim using her pain to justify her existence. Oh she would pack her things, swear she is leaving this time, then sit on their bed and wait for him to come home tonight.
"Pathetic..." The word fell harshly from his lips in an expression of utter disgust as he walked past.
"..Wh..What..?" Her sobs stilled themselves as she looked up and into impassive green eyes. "How...how dare you? You don't know what it's like..!" She recovered quickly, how could he know what this was like, he was just like all of them. How dare he, couldn't he see her tears and hear her cries every morning, why didn't he save he from this, why wouldn't anyone save her?
"Hm." The noise came with a sharp breath of air from his throat to stifle the laugh forming behind his lips. Slowly he kneeled down, green eyes staring into hers as words that weren't his own slid out from between his lips in tones of satin and razor blades. "If things are so horrible then end them..." Delicate fingers reached out and brushed back a tangled mass of her hair as he continued. "Why not just end this, is this." Green eyes glance around the dirty and decrepit hallway, he eyes following his to focus on the reality of her situation. "What you wanted for yourself, things never turn out right, but you can always stop them from getting any worse. Stop waiting for some angel to save you..." With that he rose and walked away, an easy grace born of contempt filling his movements.
Past the pushers, whore, and murders he walked...each step haunted by the shadows that tempted his mind. ~Have I become like them now...~ The thought was not an easy one to bare, it's persistent question chasing the growl of his engine through the streets. *****
The reproduced racket that passed for the late bell echoed through the hallways, chasing the final stragglers back into their classrooms as he walked through the double glass doors of the school. The empty yellow and green tiled hallways always seemed cold no matter what the weather was, reminding him of the sterile institutions he knew so well. Most people don't realize that they are safer in an institution than at a school these days. Institutions kept people like him restrained, schools just offered him a new hunting grounds. The idea brought a smile to his lips.
"Where are you supposed to be, young man?" A voice over accustomed to authority interrupted his thoughts and challenged his course.
With the same smile gracing his lips, Rei continues walking through the empty halls.
"Stop right there!" The voice echoes as steps hurry to catch up with him. What's your name boy?"
With a final step Rei stops, still not turning to face the man. Laughter threatens to boil out from between his lips at this little game, but instead all that comes are the same tones of razors and satin. "Rei Kashino. And I am going to the bathroom..." There's another pause before he turns to face the man, looking down to meet those small angry eyes. "Want to join me?" *****
Smoke curls in tendrils and wisps around him as the red flare of his cigarette jumps to life between his fingertips. Green eyes stare out from the cool shadows and into the sunlit world of activity, their careless guise sliding into the torment of his thoughts. His fellow students, he would never refer to them as his peers, gather in groups across the small field to spread the day's news. As an after thought he brushes a few strands of his overgrown pale blonde hair back from his face. Rei had always been the beautiful one, leaving me to watch his reckless and uncompromising fall.
Blue eyes glanced quickly up from the pad in her lap, before returning to the near desperate movements of her hand, afraid of loosing the scene before her if she watched too long. The metallic gray lines absorbed her into their slowly forming world. The smooth lines that formed his face flowing from the pencil between her fingers, trying desperately to capture the mixture of beauty and pain that made her heart constrict in her chest with each glance, leaving her awash with the nervous energy that normally comes when she has done something bad. But what is bad about capturing him forever on her paper? She pauses for a moment, the penciled eyes holding hers to the paper. Something showed in their portrait depths that the sunlight park hid from reality, and for that instant the lines draw her down into a drowning world of green. Gasping she fights her way out, the spell breaking around her and leaving her lungs burning for air, and her wide blue eyes meet impassively cold green.
"I...I...I'm sorry...-" her voice trails off into a defeated silence as his eyes leave her face and focus on the pad clutched tightly to her stomach.
"Let me see it." His voice carries on the breeze in whispers and shadows, devoid of the cruelty that the other students normally address her with.
Trembling Kira looks down, her blue eyes widening with sudden panic before she looks up again, her body tense with the need to run. The pad slides from her hands as she stands, the rough surface of the bench catching the fabric of her dress as she stands. The pad is forgotten as she runs away from those cold green eyes, long blonde hair streaming out behind her. Her heart rises in her throat making her limbs feel slow and heavy as the instinct to flee takes over. Her small fingers clench in with the effort, but she can't go any faster, the thick green grass seems to pull against her feet and pool her down to the ground so that he can catch her. Afraid to look back she continues to run, her breath a sour burning in her throat by the time she reaches the small apartment called 'home.'
Forlorn the cardboard pad glares up at him with its white paper as Rei watches her go, picking up the pad on impulse, something unfamiliar surfacing in empty eyes. For that moment he feels guilt, a heavy weight that forces his hands to keep the pad rather than discard it into the trash. *****
The hallway was a frigid burning cold that bit at his skin after the summer's heat and basketballs exertion. A weary sigh fills the yellow tiled emptiness; yellow tile and green paint, so reminiscent of modern institution décor it makes him homesick. .
Long fingers catch the latch on his locker, its metallic click a scream in the after-hours desolation. As if on command, a white pad falls to the floor when he grabs his coat, it's cardboard back striking his foot then the floor in a plea to be noticed. It is her pad, kept from this morning and their quick meeting. Once again that subtle feeling creeps into the confines of his thoughts, driving him to retrieve the wrinkled cardboard...driving his fingers to slide through the pencil stained white pages. Rei stops, green eyes fixed on a picture, staring into pencil replicas of his own eyes.
I wonder what secrets are held in the glowing white pages, the curiosity seems to infect him as well for he flips its cover open and begins to page through the drawings. Most of them are still life representations, obviously uninspired project of an art class or two. Then nestled in their emotionless stares a mother holds her child, forever held in that moment by pencil renderings. He stares at it for a moment, fingers brushing carefully over the paper and led only to come away with a metallic gray stain. Then he turns the page and I gasp, the sound echoing unexpectedly through the hallway, loud enough to startle him for a moment. Green eyes look up, their depths guarded, but he doesn't notice me only the small crowd filtering in through the double doors at the end of the hall. With a glare he flips the pad shut and walks away from them and their praising cries with only an absent wave of his hand to single he had herd them.
The image still remained, burned into my mind from the single fleeting glance. She had drawn Rei as other see him...but in the background, out of sight of his eyes, she drew me...drew us together. Though the action was unintentional, it is the first time I have seen us together since he died. I never knew how much I would miss seeing us, until HE died and left me to pick up the pieces. *****
The labyrinth of hallways lead us through the school, I wonder if he even knew what lead him to the second floor and the door to the art room. But there he stood, the pad in hand, facing the wooden door that opened to the art studio.
"Is this the hand you draw with..." The man's voice reaching him through the wooden barrier, too old to be a students and too sure of itself to be welcome. "You are a very talented girl..."
~...~ =Thoughts "..." =speech ***** =scene change
Bugs In The Mirror- "Charcoal details"
~Chandra
~I've watched you, each day through the glass. The colors have all turned to gray. Remember you cried and they laughed. Can't you all just go away..?~
~What kind of person lives in a place like this?~ He would ask himself this daily as the sun burned down upon dirty streets outside, waking up the sounds and smells that were the warehouse district. Like most of his generation he was lost, a fallen angel in a concrete Hell searching for the answers to his sins.
One floor below him in one of the less than efficient apartments the day's melodrama of masochistic romance played itself out in a rhythm of shouts and crashes. The tradition seven-thirty fight followed him through is daily routine and the two room disaster he called home. Then it came to a climax, the thud of something soft and fleshy hitting the wall before sliding down to the floor below accompanied the slam of his door. Stifled sobs followed him down the cracked and worn stairwell, giving new depth to the graffiti scrawled across its walls.
Somewhere inside Rei felt his green eyes harden like the emeralds that shared their color as he passed her, curled form of tangled hair and shuttering shoulders. For an instant the emptiness inside him was filled with the uncontrollable fires of hate, he had seen it all before. She was nothing more than another victim using her pain to justify her existence. Oh she would pack her things, swear she is leaving this time, then sit on their bed and wait for him to come home tonight.
"Pathetic..." The word fell harshly from his lips in an expression of utter disgust as he walked past.
"..Wh..What..?" Her sobs stilled themselves as she looked up and into impassive green eyes. "How...how dare you? You don't know what it's like..!" She recovered quickly, how could he know what this was like, he was just like all of them. How dare he, couldn't he see her tears and hear her cries every morning, why didn't he save he from this, why wouldn't anyone save her?
"Hm." The noise came with a sharp breath of air from his throat to stifle the laugh forming behind his lips. Slowly he kneeled down, green eyes staring into hers as words that weren't his own slid out from between his lips in tones of satin and razor blades. "If things are so horrible then end them..." Delicate fingers reached out and brushed back a tangled mass of her hair as he continued. "Why not just end this, is this." Green eyes glance around the dirty and decrepit hallway, he eyes following his to focus on the reality of her situation. "What you wanted for yourself, things never turn out right, but you can always stop them from getting any worse. Stop waiting for some angel to save you..." With that he rose and walked away, an easy grace born of contempt filling his movements.
Past the pushers, whore, and murders he walked...each step haunted by the shadows that tempted his mind. ~Have I become like them now...~ The thought was not an easy one to bare, it's persistent question chasing the growl of his engine through the streets. *****
The reproduced racket that passed for the late bell echoed through the hallways, chasing the final stragglers back into their classrooms as he walked through the double glass doors of the school. The empty yellow and green tiled hallways always seemed cold no matter what the weather was, reminding him of the sterile institutions he knew so well. Most people don't realize that they are safer in an institution than at a school these days. Institutions kept people like him restrained, schools just offered him a new hunting grounds. The idea brought a smile to his lips.
"Where are you supposed to be, young man?" A voice over accustomed to authority interrupted his thoughts and challenged his course.
With the same smile gracing his lips, Rei continues walking through the empty halls.
"Stop right there!" The voice echoes as steps hurry to catch up with him. What's your name boy?"
With a final step Rei stops, still not turning to face the man. Laughter threatens to boil out from between his lips at this little game, but instead all that comes are the same tones of razors and satin. "Rei Kashino. And I am going to the bathroom..." There's another pause before he turns to face the man, looking down to meet those small angry eyes. "Want to join me?" *****
Smoke curls in tendrils and wisps around him as the red flare of his cigarette jumps to life between his fingertips. Green eyes stare out from the cool shadows and into the sunlit world of activity, their careless guise sliding into the torment of his thoughts. His fellow students, he would never refer to them as his peers, gather in groups across the small field to spread the day's news. As an after thought he brushes a few strands of his overgrown pale blonde hair back from his face. Rei had always been the beautiful one, leaving me to watch his reckless and uncompromising fall.
Blue eyes glanced quickly up from the pad in her lap, before returning to the near desperate movements of her hand, afraid of loosing the scene before her if she watched too long. The metallic gray lines absorbed her into their slowly forming world. The smooth lines that formed his face flowing from the pencil between her fingers, trying desperately to capture the mixture of beauty and pain that made her heart constrict in her chest with each glance, leaving her awash with the nervous energy that normally comes when she has done something bad. But what is bad about capturing him forever on her paper? She pauses for a moment, the penciled eyes holding hers to the paper. Something showed in their portrait depths that the sunlight park hid from reality, and for that instant the lines draw her down into a drowning world of green. Gasping she fights her way out, the spell breaking around her and leaving her lungs burning for air, and her wide blue eyes meet impassively cold green.
"I...I...I'm sorry...-" her voice trails off into a defeated silence as his eyes leave her face and focus on the pad clutched tightly to her stomach.
"Let me see it." His voice carries on the breeze in whispers and shadows, devoid of the cruelty that the other students normally address her with.
Trembling Kira looks down, her blue eyes widening with sudden panic before she looks up again, her body tense with the need to run. The pad slides from her hands as she stands, the rough surface of the bench catching the fabric of her dress as she stands. The pad is forgotten as she runs away from those cold green eyes, long blonde hair streaming out behind her. Her heart rises in her throat making her limbs feel slow and heavy as the instinct to flee takes over. Her small fingers clench in with the effort, but she can't go any faster, the thick green grass seems to pull against her feet and pool her down to the ground so that he can catch her. Afraid to look back she continues to run, her breath a sour burning in her throat by the time she reaches the small apartment called 'home.'
Forlorn the cardboard pad glares up at him with its white paper as Rei watches her go, picking up the pad on impulse, something unfamiliar surfacing in empty eyes. For that moment he feels guilt, a heavy weight that forces his hands to keep the pad rather than discard it into the trash. *****
The hallway was a frigid burning cold that bit at his skin after the summer's heat and basketballs exertion. A weary sigh fills the yellow tiled emptiness; yellow tile and green paint, so reminiscent of modern institution décor it makes him homesick. .
Long fingers catch the latch on his locker, its metallic click a scream in the after-hours desolation. As if on command, a white pad falls to the floor when he grabs his coat, it's cardboard back striking his foot then the floor in a plea to be noticed. It is her pad, kept from this morning and their quick meeting. Once again that subtle feeling creeps into the confines of his thoughts, driving him to retrieve the wrinkled cardboard...driving his fingers to slide through the pencil stained white pages. Rei stops, green eyes fixed on a picture, staring into pencil replicas of his own eyes.
I wonder what secrets are held in the glowing white pages, the curiosity seems to infect him as well for he flips its cover open and begins to page through the drawings. Most of them are still life representations, obviously uninspired project of an art class or two. Then nestled in their emotionless stares a mother holds her child, forever held in that moment by pencil renderings. He stares at it for a moment, fingers brushing carefully over the paper and led only to come away with a metallic gray stain. Then he turns the page and I gasp, the sound echoing unexpectedly through the hallway, loud enough to startle him for a moment. Green eyes look up, their depths guarded, but he doesn't notice me only the small crowd filtering in through the double doors at the end of the hall. With a glare he flips the pad shut and walks away from them and their praising cries with only an absent wave of his hand to single he had herd them.
The image still remained, burned into my mind from the single fleeting glance. She had drawn Rei as other see him...but in the background, out of sight of his eyes, she drew me...drew us together. Though the action was unintentional, it is the first time I have seen us together since he died. I never knew how much I would miss seeing us, until HE died and left me to pick up the pieces. *****
The labyrinth of hallways lead us through the school, I wonder if he even knew what lead him to the second floor and the door to the art room. But there he stood, the pad in hand, facing the wooden door that opened to the art studio.
"Is this the hand you draw with..." The man's voice reaching him through the wooden barrier, too old to be a students and too sure of itself to be welcome. "You are a very talented girl..."