A/n:

A bunch of random conversations I could imagine lancebob having if they were at the premiere instead. Kind of feel bad for making Lance out to be so whiny... You know I don't mean it that way!

FF doesn't allow me to insert links, so I can't insert links to the reference pictures. But if you just google, you should be able to find them easily enough.

First posted on tumblr.

1.

Lance: Dammit Bob *grits out while smiling (or grimacing)*

Bobbi: *rolls eyes* What is it now

Lance: Couldn't you not have worn heels for once you're tall enough as it is you KNOW your heels make me look tiny

Bobbi: Dammit Hunter how is this my fault couldn't you have grown taller YOU SHOULD HAVE DRUNK YOUR MILK WHEN YOUR MAMA TOLD YOU TO

2.

Lance: *deadpans, pretends to smoulder at cameras* You wore those shoes on purpose Bob. You KNOW they've been calling me a tiny man on the Internet- and you show up with STILTS!

Bobbi: *shoots a feral smile at a camera* Are we really going to do this now Hunter? Really? On the red carpet? Just smile for them and get it over with ugh I don't want to be seen with you either

Lance: FINE. *grabs her waist and grins menacingly*

Bobbi: DON'T. TOUCH ME.

(and this explains why you don't see Nick's hand around Adrianne's waist)

3.

Lance: Bob? Bob! Over here! *tugs at her elbow*

Bobbi: *ignores tiny man and continues talking to Mack*

Lance: Bob.

Bobbi: *to Mack* ...and everyone here's just so small and adorable!

Lance: *scowls* I am not tiny and adorable. *prods Bobbi* Boooooob.

Mack: Yeah, did you see how we're at least half a head taller than everyone?

Lance: Bob why are you ignoring me

Bobbi: I KNOW RIGHT. *laughs* let's go get a drink.

Lance: But- what- Bob- Bobbbbbbiiiii!

(You have to have watched the live stream for this; there aren't any pictures unfortunately)

4.

Clark: Alright gang, let's take a SHIELD family portrait!

-general noises of excitement-

Photographer: 1...2...

Lance: *leaps in front of Bobbi and smiles angelically*

Bobbi: wtf

Lance: (that's for ignoring me earlier Bob)

Lance: (now you don't get to be in the SHIELD family portrait)

Lance: (also you're a traitor)

Bobbi: ... Hunter, I can still see half my face. You're not as tall as you think you are.

Lance: *sputters* I- MY KNEE WAS ITCHY I WAS BENDING IT.

5.

(More of a Bobbi/Adrianne crossover...thing... Background info: Adrianne Palicki and Chris Hemsworth acted in Red Dawn together)

Lance: Bob. Hey. Bob. Let's take a photo together.

Bobbi: What? Oh... Alright.

Lance: *beckons a photographer over with some effort*

Bobbi: OMG LOOK IT'S CHRIS HEMSWORTH we had that one thing once in Red Dawn we never even got to kiss *rushes over*

Bobbi: CHRISSSS do you remember me? *hugs arm, bats eyelashes, looks up at him adoringly*

Bobbi: (finally a man I can look UP to, not DOWN on)

Lance: *scowls* If you hadn't worn those heels, we'd be almost the same height!

Lance: Maybe we could take that photo now?

Bobbi: *making heart eyes at the Thor man*

Lance: Well. Alright then. *shuffles away*

(Oops realised after writing this that it wasn't actually Chris Hemsworth, it's just a idk mannequin or something.)