'Antonio,
We need your help, the army is down on rank numbers and are about to start up a draft. I understand if you don't join but just know that if you don't join now, eventually you will be forced to. I'm sorry, the captain required we send these to 'Able bodied men not afraid to kill,"
You fit the bill, tell Lovino I'm sorry for sending this.
-Gilbert'
As I read the tears come again, my chest aches and a terrible pain rips through it. "Damn you, Gilbert Beilschmidt!" I yell to the empty air surrounding me. There is nothing for me anymore. _
"Fratello, are you home?" Comes the muffled voice through my front door. I only sit on the couch staring at nothing. The lock clicks and the door opens as Feliciano steps inside. "Fratello, whats-" He stops upon seeing me.
I still clutch the letter in my hand and tears still roll from my eyes. He walks up to me and sits on the couch next to me. I feel him wrap an arm around my shoulders and pull the letter from my hand. He reads it and sits in stunned silence.
"Lovino, I'm so sorry," He pulls me into his arms like I used to do to him when he would cry. "He left today didn't he?" I nod and he hugs me tighter. I still sit staring at nothing, I can't cry, not anymore.
"Why did he leave? Why?" I say to no one.
"Because he felt he had to. Ludwig did the same thing you know. He left me like this to join, it gets better, and he'll still be able to write to you. It'll be fine," He hugs me again and we sit in silence. _
2 years later _
'Lovino,
Since I know the dick-heads here won't let you know anything since you and Toni aren't married i figured i should tell you. To be blunt, he's fucked up pretty bad. Roadside bombing. They can't transport him back so he has to stay here. They're not sure what'll happen to him.
If it's any consolation whenever he's awake he begs for you. Never stops, it gets a little annoying honestly. Just says your name over and over and over again. He wanted me to tell you he's okay, and that he'll make it home, and he never quits thinking about you. Sappy bastard, I'll write again soon and keep you updated on his condition.
The awesome Prussian, Gilbert'
For the millionth time in the last two years I cried, except this time I had the aspect that he could possibly come back soon as a glimmer of hope in the back of my mind. "He's still alive," I smile through my tears at the news. "He's alive!" _
1 month later _
The razor cuts my arm again and i feel the blood drip down. It falls to the floor and I mutter the same phrase over and over again, "He isn't doing well, but he should be fine. He isn't doing well, but he should be fine." It was all the last letter from Gilbert had said. Only the one line. "What if the next time it says he's dead? What if he already is dead? What will I do then?"
A knock on the door and i quickly hide the razor and clean up the blood on my arm and the floor as I yell for them to enter. A form collapses on the floor in front of the door as soon as it closes. I hear it sobbing and I turn to see my brother with his knees pulled to his chest.
"Oh god, Feli, what's wrong? What hapenned?" I walked over and kneeled down next to him. He didn't answer just handed me a letter stained with tears,
'Feliciano,
This was painful for me to write, he's my brother after all. Ludwig died today. There was an enemy raid and he was shot in the midst of it. I miss him dearly and I can only imagine what you're feeling now. I'm coming to visit you soon to check up. He loved you and wanted you to have this.
-Gilbert'
"Oh my god, Feli," I pulled him into a hug and let him cry.
"This is what he gave me," Feli said pulling out an iron cross necklace from under his shirt. "He told me that if he died he wanted me to have it. So Gil sent it with his letter."
I didn't say anything, just held my brother close. "Feli, I'm so sorry."
"I miss him, Lovino."
There's another knock on the door behind us as we both stand, Feli shuffles into the kitchen and I open the door.
"Lovi~!" I was attacked in a hug by Antonio.
"W-What, when, how?!" I stuttered.
"They released me and sent me home. I'm back, and I'm not leaving again," He smiled his usual smile I had missed so much.
"Keep it down, Feliciano's in the kitchen," I whispered harshly.
"Oh, oh my god, did he get Gil's letter?" Antonio asked. I nodded solemnly and he walked off towards the kitchen.
"Feliciano, are you feeling okay?" Antonio asked as I stepped into the kitchen right behind him. Feliciano just sat at the table with his head hung down, tears slipping from his eyes. Antonio walks up and hugs him like a brother. "It'll all be alright, Feli," He murmurs.
I don't know what to do. Anotnio is alive, and happy, and back to where he should be. Home. But my brother. He lost the one man he loved to no end and would do anything for, and now my baby brother is just as empty as I was when antonio had left three years ago. _
3 months later _
All i can do is scream. i dont want to stop. Antonio holds me back from running into the house where my baby brother had just killed himself. His depression from losing Ludwig had gotten the better of him so he ended it all with a single bullet to the head. I give up trying to break free of Antonio's grasp and just hang limply. Tears rolling down my cheeks. 'he was so young.' I think.
"I HATE YOU ALL! WHATEVER THE FUCK COMPELLED YOU TO TAKE MY BROTHER FROM ME I FUCKING HATE YOU!" I scream as loud as I possibly can. Antonio spins me around and I bury my face in his shirt as he wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head. I know he's trying to stay strong, for both of us. But none of it matters anymore. My brother is dead, and nothing I do can bring him back...
_
well... I should be working on my chapter story... we al see how well thats working. I've had this saved for a while, thought it was crap, but hey, maybe someone will enjoy it. *shrugs*
-Daemi
p.s. I realize it sucks. it was randomly thrown together. plus it was late on a school night, i should be asleep anyways.
p.s.s. I don't own hetalia. if i did it wouldnt be as amazing as it already is.