Wlcome, fellow citizens of Fanfiction! Today, we have what the author has dubbed "The most unfair fight ever written." The fight today will be between Vali Lucifer, the silverette badass descendent of the True Lucifer, and host of the Vanishing Dragon Albion, wielder of the Sacred Gear Divine Dividing, and the Gary Stu Sparklepire everyone loves to hate, one corner of the dumbest love triangle since Esdeath, Akame, and Tatsumi, Eeeedward Cullen! The combatants will have unrestricted use of all abilities, forms, and powers! For Cullen, this includes hypersonic speed(yeah, riiiight) the durability of granite, as he is said to have this, and Mind-reading! Hooray for Gary-Stus! For the Great Vali, he will be able to use Vanishing Dragon Balance Breaker: Scale Mail, Half Dimension while in Balance Breaker, and he will be enabled to use Juggernaut Drive, and all the abilities therein. He will NOT be enabled to use Diabolos Dragon Lucifer, for obvious reasons. His basic abilities, like Divine Dividing, will be in full effect.Disclaimer: I do not own Highschool DXD, no matter how much I want to. I do not own Twilight, nor do I want to, even if I could sell it for enough to buy Highschool DXD.Vali was walking through the forest where Issei had fought the Sparklepire, wanting to see if the creature could test his abilities, even out of Balance Breaker. Kuroka had told him that Shirone had fought one, and nearly lost. If it could nearly kill the minute Nekomata, then it must be able to do some damage to him.

TWO HOUR LATER

Vali was begining to tire of this hunt. It had been two hours since magic-circling to this ridiculous town, and it's ridiculous Sparklepires. What in the literal Hell was a sparklepire, anyway? Vali knew what vampires were, and that red-coated one had nearly kicked his ass, but this was fuc--

[Partner.]

"What, Albion?"

[There is a presence about... eight feet behind you. Your tirade prevented you from sensing him.]

''... Oh. Thank you."

Vali spun, locking on the presence. He was about the same height as Vali, with eyes the color of a fluid that Vali would prefer not to think about, with hair stiffer than Loki's had been, which alone attested to this creature's power. He spoke in an emotionless, flat monotone.

"Your thoughts were very angry. I myself do not know what a Sparklepire is. I am a vampire."

As he spoke, an errant ray of sunlight hit him, revealing that his skin sparkled like broken glass in the sun. A wave of realization hit Albion and Vali at the same time.

"Oooohhh."

[Oooohhh.]

The vampire merely stared.

"Oh well. I must kill you and drink your blood, because I am a powerful immortal vampire."

At these words, Vali perked up.

"Powerful and immortal, huh? Well, I've got something that can rectify that! Go, Albion!"

[Vanishing Dragon Balance Breaker: Scale Mail!]

Vali, now clad in his Scale mail, rushed towards the sparklepire, who punched out futilely. Vali came to a dead stop, closing his armored fist around it, Albion roaring out.

[DIVIDE!]Vali waited to feel the rush of power being drained from his target. He waited in vain.

[HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!] Albion broke down laughing, unable to help it. [Partner] Albion gasped from the Divine Dividing wings. [He has no power to Divide!]

"What?" Vali asked, shocked. This was the first time he'd run acrosssomething that had no power.

"I do to have power!'' The Sparklepire shouted. "For example, I can read minds, and move faster than the eye can see, and I'm as hard as granite!''

"You can read minds, hmm? Read this."

Vali uttered the chant, and a bright flash of light engulfed him. When it subsided, Vali stood there in all his Juggernaut Drive glory. Albion's voice roared out:

[BOOST!]

[BOOST!]

[BOOST!]

Vali Boosted twenty-five times, while the "powerful, immortal" Sparklepire stood there, feeling terror the likes of which he'd never felt.

An aperture opened on the dragonic Vali's chest, revealing a large blue gem in the center. Pale blue energy swirled around this gem, and Albion proclaimed:

[LONGINUS SMASHER!]

A beam erupted, vaporising the Sparklepire, leaving a trench a hundred feet wide, and twenty-five miles long from the force of the blast, which had drained him, to the point he fell out of Juggernaut Drive.

He looked at the destruction he'd caused, smirking.

"I wish God was still alive..."

Reasons for the outcome: Vali has several advantages over Edward. First, the obvious, flight. Vali is the host of Divine Dividing, which take the form of a pair of wings with energy "feathers", in addition to the considerable number of wings he has, which signify his power. Speed is another area where Vali has the advantage, as Kiba states that he can fly faster than light in Balance Breaker, and he rips off Kokabiel's wings before Kokabiel even knows he's there, and Kokabiel was a twelve-winged Cadre, with power at least equal to Azazel. The part about Cullen not having any power to drain was not meant as insult to Twilight(Though feel free to take it that way if you like Twilight), it was meant as a theory of mine. Divine Dividing works by taking the magical power of the target, and the extraction saps their physical power. Please tell me if I'm wrong, 'cause I want to make sure I have the facts. Durability is significantly harder to determine. Vali's Scale Mail broke after being slammed into the ground by an enraged Issei in an Incomplete Balance Breaker, The Welsh Dragon Overbooster, while Cullen has never been broken, only cracked. Strength is entirely debateable, as Cullen may be stronger than Vali, at least human Vali. And to preempt any questions about why Vali didn't use magic, the simple answer is, he didn't need to. His use of Juggernaut Drive was just for bashing, Twilight Fans, so don't go screaming that Edward made Vali have to use it. He did it purely for the overkill. An forgive me for not including the Chant, but any fan would know it by heart, so...

As always, read and review, and PM me with any requests!