Chapter 1

I was still laying on this stiff hospital bed. The beeping of the heart monitors were finally gone, and the silence gave me the reassurance I needed. Gale has come to see me a few times since we were brought here. He has been training and doing work with a few of District 13 soldiers… from what he's told me. My mom and Flex have yet to see me because the nurses think that I'm still mentally unstable to have a lot of visitors. But my family was the thing I needed to help me mentally right now.

I still have the nightmares.. That will never go away no matter how many drugs they give me. But since the nightmares have become more...vivid since the Quarter Quell, I have been refusing to go to sleep. But the nurses always seem to use some kind of drug to make me sleep, whether it be a powder in my drink and food, or a syringe. They make sure I have my "rest".

"How long until she's able to see her family?" My head perked up at Gale's voice coming from the other room.

"Not until she gets better.." a nurse said.

"She won't get better until she sees her family!"

I can tell just by his rising voice he was getting as irritated as I was with these nurses. I slowly got up and headed for the door. Not wanting to hear the same thing I've been hearing for the past couple days. As I walked out the door, I check to see if there were any nurses around and thank God there was none. So, I started walking down the dimly lit hallway. As I was walking, I came across a room that belong to a man with curly blond hair.

Finnick.

He looked as bad as I did. Circles under the eyes, red watery eyes from crying and some weightloss. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, with IV's in his arm and he was squeezing something in his hand.

"Finnick?" I said in a whisper. Not wanting the nurses to hear me.

"Journey? Is that you?" His voice sounded..broken. He never took his eyes off the ground. Not for a second, as if he were in a trance.

"Y-yeah.. It's me.." I said. I don't know what else I could've said.

"I-I'm sorry about Peeta...and your District."

"It doesn't matter." I didn't mean to sound rude, but Peeta and my District was still a soft spot to me. "It doesn't change anything."

"They have Annie too. They took her away from me. Sh-she's in the Capitol." He looked up at me. His eyes filled with tears, but his face showed no emotion. Nothing. Just blank.

" I wish she was dead. I wish they were all dead and we were too…" He then looked back to the ground and I knew he was done talking.

I wish they were all dead and we were too..

"Ms. Lavender. What are you doing in here?"

I turned around to see a nurse standing in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest and a scolding stare.

"I-I just wanted to talk to a friend...since you're restricting me from seeing my family…"

"Yes, well about that.. Mr. Hawthorne talked to us and we have agreed to let you see your family."

"R-really?"

"Yes. They are in your room now."

That was all I needed to hear, before I was practically running back to my room. When I got there and opened the door, I saw Gale with a smile on his face, my mom and Flex.

"Momma?" The hot tears started to spill from my eyes. It was hard to believe that they were real. That they were right in front of me. I ran right to my mom and hugged her. As I did, I came to realize that I'm now the same hight as my mom.

"God, I missed you so much my baby! Well.. not really a baby anymore. I wish you could stop growing!" I laughed as she practically read my mind.

"I missed you too mom." I breathed out. I than felt a body collide with my lower body, and found it to be Flex who had grown from my lower hip, to now my waist.

"Oh my God Flex! You stop growing!" I said as I was still in shock of how much he's grown.

"No can do, JJ!" He said. He also pronouncing words much better than he use to. He had me in a tight hug on my waist and I can't even pick him up now! I looked to my mom in an astonished look. She just smiled.

"He went through a growth spurt when you left. His father also had a growth spurt around his age. He's going to be tall just like his father." She said as she place her hand on the top of his head. As I looked at him, I could see that his missing tooth has grown in and his dark hair has gotten even curlier than before.

"Well.. pretty soon you won't be my little brother anymore. You'll be my..tall little brother."

"Yeah hopefully" he said rolling his eyes. I laughed at his goofiness that I missed so much. I than realized that he was wearing my jacket that I gave him when I left. He saw that I was looking at it, so he took it off and handed it to me.

"Here. I kept it safe and warm for you." I took the black leather in my hands and I felt like I was back home again.

When I put it on, I immediately safer. Calmer. More relaxed.

"Thank you Flex." I said as I gave him another hug.

"I'm sorry to say Ms. Lavender but they have to leave so you can get some rest." My smile immediately left and I looked to the nurse.

"Hm..okay. Just.. give me a minute okay."

"Okay Ms. Lavender."

I turned to my mom who was still smiling. She came over and hugged me for the second time. She than looked at me and moved a piece of hair out of my face.

"I am so proud of you. You have become a strong, beautiful woman and don't forget that sweetheart."

"Thank you mom.." I said.

"And as for Gale.. listen to me carefully young man. If you do anything to hurt my daughter just know that there will be no soldier or general in this place that will keep me from making your life a living hell. Understood?"

My eye went wide and my cheeks were most probably a tint of red. I have never heard her be so.. Forceful.

"Yes ma'am. I do understand."

"Good." As soon as she walked out I gave Flex a goodbye hug and then he left and followed mom.

Gale was still in the room and I could tell that he was a little intimidated by what y mom said just by his stiffness.

"Did she scare you?" I asked with a smirk on my face.

"Well I'm not gonna lie.. She did scare me a bit." I than laughed at his face. He was tall man and was scared by my 5'4 mother. It was pretty cool on mom's part.

I came over and hugged him. Something I've missed since I've been in here. His warm arms wrapped around me was something I needed right now.

"Can you stay with me?" I whispered in his chest.

"Of course." As he said that, a smile of satisfaction and happiness crept onto my face. He than carried me to the bed and he proceeded to lay beside me with my head on his chest and my hand in his.

"Do you...still have nightmares?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Sometimes. They became so.."

"Vivid?" I knew that's what he was going to say because that's how they have become for me. Vivide. Where I can feel the warm blood on my body, the stab wounds, and the water rushing down my throat. All of it.

"Yeah… Haymitch was right. No one ever wins the games."

"I don't want to talk about Haymitch." Ever since I found out that Haymitch lied to me, I lost any and every respect for him."

"How long are you going to stay mad at him? He did what he did to save you-"

"I don't want to talk about Haymitch." I said with more force.

"Fine. Look..President Coin wants to speak with you tomorrow morning. Prim is going to come and prepare you.."

"Prim? How is she?" I haven't seen Prim or Katniss either.

"She's good. She's practicing to become a nurse. And Katniss has finally taken my advice into going into training with me."

"That's good." I said with a smile. I really didn't expect anything less of them. They have always been polar opposites, which was why I was friends with them.

"Yeah.. now go to sleep. You'll need the rest."

"Okay.." As soon as he said that I came to realize that I, for once, am tired. So I closed my eyes and welcome the darkness.