This is a Public Service Announcement
Volixia669 does not own FF7 or Mary-Sues, or the hatred of such vile creatures.
"Is it on? Okay good."
A man with bright red hair gets on a stage with a woman with short blonde hair.
"Hello people of the Final Fantasy VII fandom. We have come to bring you a brief announcement." Elena says, then continues. "We have come to the knowledge that we are actually characters in a video game. We did a little investigating to see if this was true. In our investigation we found a website known as ."
"The horrors!" Reno cried out.
"Yes, we discovered we were not only characters, but that we, well MOST of us, had fangirls. And hategirls. We discovered a dreaded thing. One only to be dubbed, as a-"
"Mary-Sue," Reno butted in. "If you are new to fanfiction, we shall bring one out."
A crew person wheeled out a cage with a creature of beauty. The thing started to grasp the bars.
"Oh Reno! These people, they put me in a cage. They're probably with that Elena person. Please, get away from her and help me!" The thing wailed.
Reno shook his head. "These things usually appear in fanfictions that have, 'me and my friend suddenly appeared in Gaia' or similar in the summary. They like to break up canon pairings and usually end up with their favorite characters. Unless the author is inserted for comedic reasons or it's a Mary-Sue parody do not touch."
"Also beware of canon-sues, Those are when canon characters become exactly like the author." Elena said.
A man with spiky blonde hair and a really big sword walked on stage.
"May I say something?" Cloud asked.
"How did you get in?" Reno asked suspiciously.
"I walked in the front door."
"Oh."
"May I?"
"Sure, go ahead." Reno said and started grumbling.
"Folks, I understand you people like yaoi. Hey even the author has been turned into a yaoi fangirl, albeit another fandom, but seriously! Me and Vincent! Me and Barret! Hell, a foursome with me, Zack, Genesis, and Sephiroth! What are you people thinking! I'm fine with me and Zack, at least that one had some merit. There were even some good ones. But as for the others? I have no idea what to say. And I think some of you people need to go learn the anatomy of a human body. Men can't get pregnant!" Cloud fumed.
"Are you done?" Reno asked.
"Oh and one more thing. Tifa hated Zack after the Nibelheim incident and hadn't known him beforehand. And as for her and Sephiroth-"
"Well that's all the time we have. Thank You and Good Bye!"
This has been a Public Service Announcement from the Shinra Corporation.
Okay, I know, Relena isn't a canon pairing. But she only had a crush on Tseng, and how many of your crushes became your loves? I'm sorry if any of these fictions sounded like your own. I don't mean to offend, only to inform. All flames will be used to burn Twilight novels. (Though please don't flame for this to happen.)