Cinderella the Actual Events
Have fun
Starring:
Kangaroo Motherfucking Jack as The Prince
LydeaBlaze as Cinderella
Nyra as Ugly Stepsister #1
Elanore as Ugly Stepsister #2
Papa Bear as The Ugly Stepfather
Scar as the Town Messenger
DROP as the Fairy Godmother
Texan Jesus: like once upon a time there was like a girl and her parents died and she got stuck with her shitty step family. This is what happened.
Nyra: Cinderella do my washing.
Elanore: and my ironing.
LydeaBlaze: fuck no do it yourselves.
Papa Bear: CINDERELLA!
LydeaBlaze: what?
Papa Bear: do what your sisters say.
LydeaBlaze: or what?
Axe flies by narrowly missing LydeaBlaze's head.
LydeaBlaze: fine.
Knock on the Door
Papa Bear: door bitch.
LydeaBlaze: asshole.
Axe flies by embedding in the wall
LydeaBlaze: would stop throwing those it scares people.
Scar: not getting younger here.
LydeaBlaze: coming.
LydeaBlaze opens door.
LydeaBlaze: What?
Scar: hear ye hear ye the prince is looking for a wife all maidens are to attend The Ball tonight at The Palace.
LydeaBlaze slams door in Scar's face.
Scar: ow my nose I don't get paid enough for this.
LydeaBlaze: sweet I can get out of this hell-hole.
LydeaBlaze: YO DAD!
Papa Bear: what bitch?
LydeaBlaze: can I go to the Ball?
Papa Bear: no.
LydeaBlaze: but...
Papa Bear: no you're too ugly also you don't have anything to wear.
LydeaBlaze: shit.
Nyra: Papa..
Elanore: can we go to the Ball.
Papa Bear: of course.
LydeaBlaze: oh come on.
Papa Bear: shut your trap bitch.
Later...
Papa Bear: come on girls we're going to be late.
Nyra: coming Papa.
Elanore: coming.
Papa Bear: see ya bitch don't destroy the house.
Papa Bear Nyra and Eleanor leave slamming the door behind them.
LydeaBlaze god I hate them.
LydeaBlaze: I can't believe I'm about to do this.
LydeaBlaze: DROP GET YOUR FAT ASS IN HERE RIGHT NOW OR I'LL KICK YOUR ASS TO THE MOON.
DROP appears.
DROP: what?
LydeaBlaze: get me to The Ball.
DROP: how?
LydeaBlaze: I don't know magic a pumpkin and some mice or rats.
DROP: why do you want to go The Ball?
LydeaBlaze: what do you think? Magic me a dress too.
DROP: what's in it for me?
LydeaBlaze: I'll give you a brick.
DROP: done.
DROP magic's up a carriage a dress and some coachmen.
DROP: be back by midnight or else everything will go back the way it was.
LydeaBlaze: yeah yeah.
LydeaBlaze rides off to The Ball and arrives at a raging Disco.
LydeaBlaze: wow should have seen this coming.
Scar: welcome to the ball...I know you.
LydeaBlaze: no you don't.
Scar: whatever enjoy the Ball...Disco...whatever.
LydeaBlaze: sweet now where's the prince.
Kangaroo Jack: so then I was like mate couldn't marry my grandmother let alone me...who's the beautiful chick who just walked in?
LydeaBlaze: 1 don't call me a chick and 2 my name is um...Mary.
Kangaroo Jack: sweet dance me Mary.
LydeaBlaze: okay.
Nyra: but you were going to dance with me.
Elanore: no me.
Kangaroo Jack: fuck off both of you I'm dancing with Mary.
Papa Bear: you don't tell my daughters to fuck off.
Kangaroo Jack: I'm prince and I'll do what I want.
Kangaroo Jack and LydeaBlaze start dancing.
Bell tolls midnight.
LydeaBlaze: shit got to go.
Kangaroo Jack: but...
LydeaBlaze: here.
LydeaBlaze chucks slipper and runs off.
Kangaroo Jack: aww...I still have the slipper.
Opening of the Circe of Life starts playing.
Kangaroo Jack: whoever fits this shoe I shall marry...providing she's not ugly or a whore.
Scar: Way to go there are hundreds of maidens in this country and you're going to your true love by putting a shoe on every maiden.
Kangaroo Jack: no that's your job.
Scar: shit.
Later…..
Nyra: I can't believe that princesses who was dancing with The Prince.
Elanore: she is such a whore.
Papa Bear: I agree The Prince should have danced with me.
LydeaBlaze: I disagree you're all a bunch of assholes.
Papa Bear: CINBERELLA HOW DARE YOU GO TO YOUR ROOM BEFORE I KICK YOU THERE!
LydeaBlaze: I don't have a room you make me sleep in the fireplace.
Axe flies by narrowly missing LydeaBlaze's head.
LydeaBlaze: going.
Doorbell rings.
Papa Bear: door bitch.
LydeaBlaze opens door.
LydeaBlaze: what?
Scar: hear ye hear ye The Prince is here.
Kangaroo Jack: thank Hell this is the last house you first.
Nyra: yes my Prince.
Nyra tries the slipper but it doesn't fit.
Nyra: oh shit.
Kangaroo Jack: oh well next.
Elanore tries shoe but the shoe doesn't fit.
Elanore: fuck.
Papa Bear: me next.
Kangaroo Jack: O-O
Papa Bear: what I happen to enjoy a man's compony.
Papa Bear tries shoe but it breaks.
Kangaroo Jack: thank god….wait it damn any other maidens?
Papa Bear: no.
LydeaBlaze: oy dickheads.
Kangaroo Jack wolf whistles.
LydeaBlaze: shut up you I've got the other slipper.
LydeaBlaze pulls out the other slipper.
Kangaroo Jack: awesome now my dad can quit bitching about me finding a husband.
LydeaBlaze: you mean wife right?
Kangaroo Jack: yeah.
Papa Bear: and you think I'm going to let you after all we've done for you?
Elanore: papa they already left.
Nyra: shit.
Papa Bear it's alright we still have Elanore to do her jobs.
Elanore: what?
Papa Bear: it about time you showed some backbone.
Elanore: aw man.
Texan Jesus: all they all lived happily ever after LydeaBlaze got a divorce soon after the wedding and the ugly stepfamily were imprisoned at The Prince's request the end.
Authors note: no copyright intended no bad mouthing LydeaBlaze is property of LydeaBlaze as is Elanore.