Disclaimer: I don't own Community.
AN: Hope you guys like it. This is totally based off my muse. If only he knew... Enjoy!
In the Wings
I don't know why I do it. Wait desperately in the wings for him to turn around and see me. For him to want me like I want him. For him to hold me instead of her. Her. I can't even hate her like any other girlfriend of his. She's kind of nice, and we're kind of friends. And the argument that he's dating a slut who's not good enough for him doesn't apply here.
She's perfect for him. They get along so well and they look so perfect together. Her hand probably fits perfectly in his and when they walk down the hallways together, they're feet probably synchronize like they're in a freaking marching band. And when he wraps his arms around her, she probably feels so safe right there that the whole world could crumble around them and she wouldn't care because she would be with him.
I know that his relationship with her will last a long time, because he would never give her up and she would have to be absolutely crazy to let him go. And I would never get my chance, all because I would never fight for him like she would. The only thing I can do is watch from the wings, my soul dying a little bit inside each time an opportunity to tell him how I feel arises and I don't take it. I chicken out every time, my self-pity sessions in the school bathroom increasing as a direct result.
The hard truth is that as much as I want to, I can't jump onto the stage into the limelight. I can't leave the shadows behind the curtains. In the wings, I'm safe. I can love him without the judgement of an audience. I don't get a broken heart, though sometimes the seems holding it together begin to fray. I don't sob for hours at his rejection, which is inevitable if I were to ever tell him how I feel.
I am protected. Safe. In the wings, behind the curtains, backstage. I'm okay with it, because it's all I can do. All I can do is watch him. Watch him in love with someone else. With her.