I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can't help the fact that everyone can see
these scars
I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe
this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got.
["Faint" by Linkin Park]
Kurt rolled his head around on his shoulders. He clenched and unclenched his fingers. He then decided to actually get out of the dumpster. Mondays were the worst. He actually had to climb his way out of the dumpster, seeing as it was dumped on the weekends. He hopped out with a grace only he possessed and sighed. He heard someone come up behind him and he tensed, terrified. They only could really attack him AFTER he pulled himself out. They didn't feel up to all cramming inside a trashcan anyways. He turned looking normal, his heart faster than a fleeing hare. He exhaled slowly after he saw just Finn. He managed to screw up a small smile for his step brother whom smiled back brightly. He had one mantra; Glee.
Glee club.
Sure New Directions had way too much drama and he was never really noticed but there he felt accepted. If not accepted, then tolerated. And being tolerated was all he ever asked for. He heard his 'best friend' Mercedes come up behind him. He pulled the usual BFFL stunt, gushing over a sweater and the new Michael Kors collection. His heart wasn't in it anymore. After school he walked into Glee club, bearing 'horrible' news.
"Rachel pulled a flounce out," he said rolling his eyes. Almost everyone banded together to try and get her back. Except a few people, Puck (unsurprisingly), Brittany, Santana, and himself. As all of the 'Rachel fangirls' left the room, the four teenagers sighed. They knew Rachel would just come back, grab more solos and then flounce...
It became a routine. Kurt usually was surprised if she showed up on a Thursday without something dramatic to start them out with. She had them wrapped around her pinkie finger. During most/all of these 'Find Rachel' sessions, Kurt would work with the other three on their voices. Santana just needed someone to push her for the high notes, Puck needed pushing to drop the 'badass' attitude but once he did, he sang almost better than the slightly younger soprano, but without Kurt's range. Brittany just needed help with memorizing lyrics.
The four became tight as the year had progressed and Puck had actually managed to get Karofsky to leave Kurt alone. Santana and Brittany were now the ones he linked arms with going down the hallways. He felt better around them. Even if they had no idea what he was going through. He still felt more empty than should be normal.
Two Months Later
Still in Glee, half of the 'Fantastic Four' was in a huge fight. Puck and Santana were both mad, neither would tell Kurt or Brittany why. So Kurt and Brittany both balanced time between them. Eventually, the two made up the traditional way, singing for the club, then kissing in front of everyone.
Then Kurt got used by a certain Sam Evans. When the other three found out they were shocked. Sweet Mama's Boy Sam Evans had used Kurt to try and get to Santana, whom was dating Puck. Kurt felt like this was the last straw and this would be the final time New Directions made him cry.
"Mr. Schuester? I have a song I'd like to sing. He'll know who it's for," Will nodded.
The moment Kurt opened his mouth, people were shocked. Not at the song choice, but rather at the octave he was singing (way below his normal range) and the emotion that seemed to ripple through the air.
I shoulda known by the way you passed me by
There was something in your eyes
and it wasn't right
Shoulda walked but I never had the chance
Everything got outta hand
and I let it slide
Now I only have myself to blame
for falling for your stupid games
I wish my life could be the way it was before I saw your face
You stole my happy, you made me cry
Took me lonely then took me for a ride
and I wanna undo it
You have my heart now I want it back
I'm starting to see everything you lack
Boy you blew it, you put me though it
and I wanna undo it
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
Now your photo doesn't have a picture frame
and I never say your name and I never will
and all your things, well I put them in the trash
and I'm not even sad
Now you only have yourself to blame
for playing all those stupid games
You're always gonna be the same
Oh no! you'll never change
You stole my happy, you made me cry
Took me lonely then took me for a ride
and I wanna undo it
You have my heart now I want it back
I'm starting to see everything you lack
Boy you blew it, you put me though it
and I wanna undo it
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na
You want my future you can't have it
I'm still tryin to erase my past
I need you gone so fast!
You stole my happy, you made me cry
Took me lonely then took me for a ride
and I wanna undo it
You have my heart now I want it back
I'm starting to see everything you lack
Boy you blew it, you put me though it
and I wanna undo it
You stole my happy, you made me cry
Took me lonely then took me for a ride
and I wanna undo it
You have my heart now I want it back
I'm starting to see everything you lack
Boy you blew it, you put me though it
and I wanna undo it
Kurt yelled the last line, smirking right into Sam's shocked face.
"If I may have the floor for one more song..." Kurt said and gestured towards Santana and they both stood in front of the New Directions cast. Santana took Glinda's part while Kurt was Elphaba. Then Santana began changing the lyrics,
"You can still be-e in glee club. What you've worked and waited for, you can have all you ever wanted..." then everyone understood. Kurt was breaking away from New Directions.
He scoffed when he said,
"I don't want it. No. I CAN'T want it anymore,"
Santana eventually said, after the song was done and Kurt had bailed, that she was following him out. Brittany and Puck did as well.
"Thanks guys," Kurt said.
"Kurt wait!" Sam yelled down the hallway.
"What would you do if I said no?" Kurt turned on his heel and glared at the bleach blonde boy.
"Nothing, except for text you, spam you on Facebook, and call you all the time until you talk with me," Sam said as he shrugged.
"Fine, you have thirty seconds to talk," Kurt growled out. He was relieved to see Puck, Brittany, and Santana down the hall. He shot them a smile, then returned his focus to Sam.
"Look, Kurt. I feel really horrible about hurting you. I just really wondered if I was bi. I'm just not. No biggie,"
"Sam. Did you seriously just say that? Right now, you are lower on my stupid list than Finn! You can't just USE me and then say it's no 'biggie'. Did you not understand ANY of the song I just sang? Either one, take your pick. Here, message of Undo It- I wish I never met you and you better stay out of my life. Message of Defying Gravity- I'm leaving glee, all of you guys still in New Directions are holding me back from my true potential," Kurt turned to open up his locker. Sam slammed it shut.
"Look dude..."
"I have a name, use it," Kurt said with a smirk.
"Kurt, I only broke up with you because of my rep,"
"Wow Sam, wow. That's why you left me? Low. And guess what, I've never had a rep. Or at least a shred of a good one. But if that's why, fine? If you expect us to get over it and get back together, hell no,"
Sam growled then kissed Kurt. Kurt gestured at Puck. It was the same gesture he used when he got trapped in the hallway and needed saving.
Puck understood and within a moment, Sam's lips weren't on Kurt's anymore. Puck stood there and yelled at the blonde boy, currently on the floor. Santana and Brittany looked at Kurt, worried.
"I'm fine guys," he assured them as they linked arms and grabbed Puck, whom was currently bashing Sam's face in.
"He's not worth it. C'mon Puck," Kurt said with a soft sigh. Puck grudgingly stood up and walked with them to Kurt's car.