Proud

My mother always used to say, "pride cometh before a fall."

I never put much stock in it.

What's the big deal? Pride is essential to a ShadowClanner's life! If I don't appear strong and capable, I'll get taken advantage of. Besides, my mother was a former rogue turned dedicated warrior. One of those soft fools that believe honor is more important than self-preservation. Frankly, that's why she died. Refusing to save herself from a crazy, grieving she-cat who believed that the naive, innocent, honorable Poppytail had killed her mate. "Why did she refuse to save herself?" you may ask. Well, here it is. She refused to kill her opponent because she felt sorrow for her loss.

And that's how my mother died. Abandoning me, her only kit, to the cruel world. Alone.

I knew I would never make the same mistake.

Looking down at my own kits, I smile. Seedkit, Flightkit, and Poolkit. Seedkit is the smallest, a fluffy yellow tom with a white belly and paws. Just like his father. Flightkit, the next one, is easily the biggest. Tabby and white, with a fluffy tail. And finally, Poolkit. My daughter is a sleek, solid tabby. No fluff to be seen. I know she'll be just like me.

I wait until their father returns from his daily, day long disappearance. Although I know I don't need him, I keep him around for convenience's sake. Somedays I just don't feel like hunting.

Three Moons Later

"Come on, Seedkit! Jump higher! Poolkit can do it!"

Seedkit's eyes are filled with tears at my exasperated tone. "Mama!" he blubbers unhappily. "I tired!"

Sighing, I flick my paw at Flightkit. "Go."

Flightkit trots obediently over to his brother, and jumps up, tapping the vine easily. "Come on Seedkit!" he encourages. "You do it!"

Seedkit shakes his head furiously and sits down, sobbing. "No! Don't wanna anymore! PEASE!"

"No," I say simply. "Poolkit is only a little bit bigger than you, and she managed just fine."

My littlest begins to throw a tantrum, rolling on his back and waving his paws in the air. "NOOOOOOO!"

Beginning to feel anger, I stalk over. "Come on, Seedkit! It's only a mouse-tail above your head. You need to get a running start."

Seedkit screams and hits my paw away, crying.

"That does it!" I snap. Picking Seedkit up, I walk over and place him in the hollowed nursery corner we use for fresh-kill. It's only a mouse-length deep, but considering Seedkits's stubby legs, it'll take some effort to climb out. "Climb out, or no dinner."

"MAMA! NO! WAN MIL!" Seedkit sobs, flailing desperately for me as I leave. I ignore him.

Flightkit and Poolkit follow me into the nursery den, where I proceed to chew up mouse for them, ignoring Seedkit's screams. The other kits are constantly cringing, hating the noise.

"What's going on?" The father of my kits, Pineneedle, rushes into the den. "Why is Seedkit screaming?"

"He was throwing a fit, so now he's in timeout till he can climb out of the hole," I say calmly.

"Isn't that a bit much?" Pineneedle asks, looking fearful. "You know he's far behind the others! He can barely speak, and he still wants milk!"

I sigh impatiently. "Well, he'll never mature if he's coddled."

Pineneedle shakes his head and stalks over to the corner. Moments later, he returns, with a whimpering Seedkit in his mouth. "Here," the father coos, placing him beside me. Seedkit eagerly stumbles to my belly, where he roots for milk. Frustrated, and irritated with Pineneedle, I gently push him away. Seedkit immediately begins to cry.

"Please!" Pineneedle snaps. "Just feed him already, if only to make him quiet!"

I glare right back. "No!"

"Fine." Pineneedle takes a deep breath. "I'm taking these kits."

"What?" I ask, confused.

He stares straight into my eyes, and Seedkit, overcome by his dramatics, finally falls silents, trembling. "I suppose you've been wondering why I disappear all day."

"I haven't noticed," I reply coolly, but my stomach tightens with nausea.

Pineneedle curls his lip. "I've been going to someone I love. A beautiful ThunderClan she-cat. We love each other and have three kits. She will care for Seedkit. She is talented, kind, and admits her mistakes. She is smart and most importantly, she loves me. Unlike you, you proud, vicious weasel. You have only ever used me for kits. And after that, you kept me around only for the hunting. When I tried to show affection, you pushed me away. When I asked for time alone, you told me that you'd never consider it. So I found someone who would. I'm taking Seedkit, Flightkit, and Poolkit. They don't deserve to have a mother who never admits her mistakes, and refuses to apologize, all in the name of strength. They don't deserve a heartless, self-righteous mother. They don't deserve to have to live with someone like you."

I am dumbfounded. I never would have expected quiet, obedient Pineneedle to say such things. So I don't object when he calls out a code word, and three other cats enter the den, each taking a kit. One of them presses against Pineneedle as she goes past. She is a lovely sable she-cat with green eyes. None of my kits cry out in protest. In fact, they look relieved.

I lay there for hours after they leave, fuming. None of my Clan attempted to stop them! I always knew I wasn't popular, ever since I scarred the deputy's face in a spat, but to let Pineneedle take my kits? Furious, I set out after them, planning to attack and take the kits. Despite Pineneedle's harsh words, I know he could never best me in a fight. I'll have to kill him, and his mate, before fleeing with the kits. However, my certainty is my folly.

I follow their scent to a temporary camp. Creeping into the clearing, I see Pineneedle, sitting beside his new mate. Purring, he nuzzles her, and she leans into him. Absently, I realize that I have never heard him purr.

Silently, I spring from the shadows, claws outstretched. But months without training has left me weak, and I fall short of Pineneedle. I hit the ground with a loud thump.

Whipping around, Pineneedle snarls and pins me easily. I struggle, but to no avail. His mate crouches behind him, ready to help.

"You will never harm them," he hisses coldly. And without a second thought, he slits my throat.

"Farewell, Sparrowfeather."

for those who don't remember, Sparrowfeather is the Dark Forest she-cat who nearly kills Dovewing. I thought I'd make her a kind of backstory, because she's an underrated character (who also is mistakenly called a tom in the entire book of The Last Hope). Big oof there.