"A female is genetically prewired to recognize singing, head bobbing, wing spreading, or prancing of a male of her species as an overture to sex or mating. A female of another species would most likely ignore his behavior."
-OR-
George tries numerous ways to get the school's Loony's attention. It proves harder than he expected.
She sits calmly at the table, seemingly looking through George, with her intense blue-grey gaze. She blinks owlishly, cocks her head slightly, and then goes back to her porridge.
It sent a shiver down George's spine.
What just happened?
"Who's that?" George asks, turning toward
"Who?" Fred asks, looking up from The Prophet to glance to where George's attention is fixated.
George nods toward the girl who had been staring at him earlier, her eyes now fixated up above her.
Fred snickered at the sight of her.
Wide, luminous eyes looking rather… serenely… at a particular cloud hanging up on the ceiling of the Great Hall, her right hand fiddling with her necklace (which seemed to be a wire with Butterbeer corks strung along on it) and her left hand blankly swirling a spoon in her morning porridge.
"Luna Lovegood," Neville says suddenly from his spot between Lee and Ginny, his mouth full of a pastry, flecks of raspberry jam popping out as he speaks, "She's quite nice, actually."
"Aw," Fred says, "Has Longbottom got a girlie now?"
Neville blushes nearly scarlet, "We're just friends. She helps me with Charms sometimes."
"A third-year helping a fourth-year?" Lee interjects, raising a brow, "Seems a little desperate, especially if you're going to Loony Lovegood for help."
"Don't call her that!" Neville manages to squeak out, but he is progressively shrinking further and further, seemingly wanting to disappear into the bench, and it doesn't help his case, or 'Loony's.'
"So, who is she then?" George asks again.
Fred shrugs, "Doesn't live far from the Burrow," Fred directs his next question to Ginny, who is absorbed in the latest Witch Weekly, "Aren't you friends, or something?"
"Friends," Ginny says, not looking from her magazine, "She's used to be in my Divination, and she's in my Double Potions."
"Her father's the editor of The Quibbler," Lee puts in.
"That lunatic trash?" Fred asks, the idea made him laugh. Loony Lovegood's got a loony for a father.
Lee shrugs, "I suppose so, yeah. She's in Ravenclaw, so she's supposed to smart, but everybody calls her crazy. Even her own house."
"She's quite brilliant," Ginny says nonchalantly, "If you get to know her."
Fred then lights up, and George recognizes his usual 'idea' face.
"What you planning, less-handsome-twin-o'-mine?"
"I've got a simple challenge for you," Fred says gleefully, rubbing his hands together, "You're going to get Loony Lovegood to go out with you."
George scratches the back of his head, "Isn't she a fourth-year?"
"We'll put your name first on all the merchandise at the shop if you win," Fred says alluringly, "Produced by George and Fred Weasley?"
"Deal."
"You're Luna Lovegood, right?"
Luna looks up from her crouch next to a growth of Venomous Tentacula.
George hadn't expected to come across her so soon, but he supposed now was a good time as any.
She blinks three times, "I suppose so, but everybody calls me Loony."
She lets out a little sigh of resignation, and turns back to the plant. George watches in slight shock and horror as she puts on gloves, and proceeds to stroke the plant gently.
"I-I think I'll just call you Luna," George says, hoping he had managed to save face, "Is that yours?"
Luna looks up again, a twinkle in her eyes, "Oh, yes. I grew it from a small sprout. It's actually quite tame for a Tentacula."
George nods, "I'll just take your word for it."
"Professor Sprout lets Neville and I experiment in here," Luna continues. She trails off, and then looks up, a sudden alertness in her eyes, "Oh! I'm being rude, would like to try petting it?"
"Erm," George tosses the idea around in his head. On one hand, if he pets it, he could say he touched a Venomous Tentacula. On the other hand, he could possibly die.
But he also doesn't want to appear as a wimp, and if a third-year can do it, so can he.
"Sure."
"Here," Luna says, handing over a pair of thick gloves, "Put these on and be very gentle. It's quite shy."
The leaves quiver under George's touch, and a small, automatic smile spreads across his face as the plant seems to purr and sway under his touch.
"You're George Weasley," Luna says suddenly.
It's not a question.
"Um, yeah?"
"Why are you talking to me?" Luna asks. Her voice isn't suspicious, or at all patronizing, just a seemingly genuine curiosity.
George smiles inwardly. This is his chance to win her over. George lets out his patented panty-dropping laugh, "You don't have to be modest, Luna."
Luna blinks twice, seemingly unaffected.
George winces inwardly.
He lowers his voice, "Good thing I'm wearing gloves, right?"
Pause for effect...
"Oh, yes," Luna says, "I learned the hard way that only skin is very ticklish to the plant."
Aaaaannd, her attention's back on the plant.
"I meant," George says, not giving up, "That you would be too hot to handle if I wasn't."
"Oh, I'm sorry," Luna says, "I didn't know you wanted the greenhouse to yourself."
George is dumbfounded, "That's not what I-"
"Actually, I should be going," Luna says. She waves her wand, banishes the gloves on both their hands, and places the plant up on a high shelf, "Have a very nice day, George."
She waves, flashes him a serene smile, and seems to glide out, her long white-blond hair trailing behind her as she walks back up to the castle.
What the hell just happened.
Double-Herbology with the Slytherins is a pain in the arse. Especially when gits like Brandon Vaisey are cockily barking insults about Gryffindor.
"You know," Vaisey says loudly, "I saw the most interesting thing yesterday. You know that Ravenclaw? The mental one? I saw petting a Venomous Tentacula like it was her pet or something."
A couple particularly nasty-looking Slytherins with squished features snicker at Vaisey's proclamation.
George immediately tenses, his eyes flickering to where Luna's prized Tentacula is resting on a high shelf in the green house.
"It'd be a right shame if something were to happen to it..." Vaisey says, his eyes gleaming as he reaches up toward the plant.
"Poor Loony..." Vaisey simpers, his voice dripping with evil satisfaction.
Where the hell is Sprout? George thinks to himself.
There's a loud clatter, and the plant falls to the ground.
The plant hisses, curling in on itself at the sudden loss of soil. George watches in horror and fascination as the plant rapidly turns brown and shrivels up.
Professor Sprout finally pushes her way into the greenhouse, just as Vaisey pushes the remnants of the plant under one of the greenhouse counters.
It's not your fault, it's just a stupid plant. George tells himself, but he can't help the feeling of guilt that washes over him.
George watches them.
Totally not in the creepy jealous-stalker way, but he needs to win this bet, so he'd like to classify this as research.
Luna is on her knees, staring at the just-covered grave of Luna's precious Venomous Tentacula.
Ginny is standing politely to the side, her hands folded over the hem of her skirt, trademark Weasley red-hair flapping in the gentle breeze.
Neville is knelt down next to Luna, rubbing a hand on her back.
Luna turns, giving George a now clear view of her face, and he's surprised to see fresh tear tracks marring her usual happy-go-lucky expression.
She sniffles, rubs away her tears, and her expression morphs into her usual serene one, although perhaps a little more dampened then usual.
Neville smiles, embraces her, and reaches into his pocket, handing her something tiny that George can't see.
Luna grins through her tears at the thing she cradles in her palm, which he can now see is a fleshy, green pod, (most likely for Luna's new Venomous Tentacula) and places a soft kiss on Neville's cheek, to which Neville turns a bright red.
George feels his heart clench.
Perhaps he should get some food.
He's probably just hungry.
A/N: New story idea. Not sure where I'm going. This is set in Harry's fourth year - Luna's a third year and George is in his seventh.
The Venomous Tentacula is an actual plant mentioned in Harry Potter that is studied by sixth-years. I assumed Luna would be the exact type to raise something like the Venomous Tentacula.