A/N - This fic is for my lovely friend Jules Hawk, who is not only a great source of inspiration for me, but also someone I look up to and someone who had always supported me. I really hope you enjoy this story. Shoker is not my usual pairing, but I enjoyed writing this for you!
For anyone interested, there is a sequel to this fic called 'The First Time' which is set the morning after - just in case you want to read some more about Cassie and Joker! Please enjoy!
"Okay, my turn!" Cassie Shepard clumsily poured more shorts of tequila and dutifully passed them out to Jack, Tali and Kasumi; the three humans giggling like drains as Tali took her shot and poured it straight into her suit's filtering system without hesitation.
"What?" The quarian slurred, over-annunciating her words. "I'm allowed to start before you! It takes time to go through my suit's system!"
Jack snorted. "Whatever you say, lightweight! Cheers!"
The rest of them clinked their shots together and licked the salt off their hands, then knocked back the fiery liquid and sucked on wedges of lemon. The redhead screwed up her eyes and made a face as the lemon didn't quite cover the awful taste of the cheap booze, but she swallowed it down and dropped her shot glass back on the table, meeting Jack's eyes and grinning as the biotic nodded at her proudly.
"Okay, my turn to ask a question!" Kasumi piped up as she poured them more shots and passed around the salt. "Now, this one is just between us girls!" She leaned forward conspiratorially despite the fact that the party in Cassie's apartment was in full swing and the sound of music and laughter would make it impossible for them to be overheard. "Imagine you've been marooned on an alien planet with your choice of partner from the Normandy - man, woman or alien. Who do you choose?" She smiled wickedly and leaned back in her seat.
"Easy," Jack crossed her tattooed arms over her chest and grinned. "Mister 'Muscles' Vega. I think I could take being marooned on an alien planet with him."
Cassie almost choked on her laughter and held up her glass in a salute. "Nice!"
"Oh yeah," the biotic cackled. "He can butter my bread anytime!" She took her shot and nodded at Tali. "You?"
The quarian sighed happily and poured the next shot into her filter. "Oh come on, it's hardly fair! You know I'm going to choose Garrus!" She hiccupped and giggled. "But if he wasn't available, I suppose I wouldn't mind spending some time alone with Engineer Adams. He has such strong arms!" She sighed dramatically and flopped back in her chair, wrapping her own arms around herself in a hug.
"All the better to hold you with?" Kasumi giggled.
"Yesh!" Tali slurred. "Garrus is lovely, but he's so bony and thin! And I love a man with muscles!" She pointed a dainty finger at the thief. "And you?"
"Hmm." Kasumi made a big show of thinking, tapping one finger against her lips. "I was going to say Jacob, but it's just not the same now that he has a baby on the way. And it doesn't seem right to say James when Jack has already claimed him-"
Jack nodded. "Damn right. He's mine."
"-so I guess I'm going to go with Liara!" She pushed back her hood and ruffled her hair, looking delighted at look of surprise on their faces. "She's adorable!"
Cassie giggled. "I didn't know you had a thing for asari!"
"Neither did I until I saw her in that cute little scientist outfit!" Kasumi grinned and took her shot. "What can I say? I'm a sucker for a woman in uniform!" She placed the glass back on the table and raised an eye as she met Cassie's gaze. "I'd ask you, but I think everyone here knows exactly who it is that you'd be spending time with on the planet."
Cassie pursed her lips as the women's attention shifted to her and they all nodded knowingly.
"What do you mean?" she asked slowly, trying not to slur, though she was sure she did.
Surely they didn't know?
No one know!
… did they?
"You'd totally pick Joker," Kasumi supplied, waving her hand around airily. "Everyone knows you have a crush on him."
Jack nodded. "Yep, you'd jump his brittle bones in a hot second given the chance."
"Yesh, you're totally shmitten with him!" Tali chimed in drunkenly, crooning softly. "It's sooo sweet!"
"What? No! I'm just … ." Cassie floundered and gripped her shot tightly. "I'm just … ."
"In love?" Kasumi slotted in helpfully.
"Hot for him? Jack offered, smirking.
Tali wobbled and fell off her chair onto the floor with a thump, her voice drifting up in a sing-song tune. "You want to make babies with him!"
"Shit." Cassie drank her shot and crinkled her nose. "Does Joker know?"
All three of them shook their heads.
"He's clueless," Kasumi whispered conspiratorially. "To be honest, I think he's too busy worrying about you finding out that he has a crush on you!"
"What!?" Cassie's eyes rounded as something that felt suspiciously like sanity broke through her semi-drunken haze. "Oh come on, Joker is in love with his job."
Jack chuckled and shook her head. "Oh really, so why does he always watch you? And why is he so quick to step in and save you, huh? Trust me, he's got it bad."
She nodded in the direction where Joker was sitting with James and Kaidan, and sure enough Cassie looked up and her green eyes clashed with Joker's hazel gaze. For a moment there was something intense in his eyes, and then he gave her a friendly wave and looked away. The moment passed and she blinked, turning her attention back to her friends. Her body felt tight and hot, and her blood tingled and buzzed under her skin.
"I think you should tell him how you feel," Kasumi was saying, her voice encouraging. "Seize the day, and all that, because who knows what could happen tomorrow?"
"Yeah!" Jack raised yet another shot and knocked it back. "Carpe fucking Diem!"
Cassie bit her lip.
Her feelings for Joker were complicated. While it was true that they had a history of flirting, they'd never actually said anything about it out loud, and the longer they'd let things go on between them without acknowledging it, the harder it had been to do so. And yeah, she couldn't deny she had always felt attracted to him, it was hard not to when he was funny and cute, but that didn't mean she had to do anything about it. And yes, they'd kissed once, before Ilos, but they had never gotten around to speaking about it, and things had never gone further than that between them.
The trouble was that the girls were right; she loved him.
She'd been in love with Jeff Moreau for years now, and she had no idea what to do about it.
"You two are not helpful at all you know," she told Jack and Kasumi as she slid off the bar stool helped Tali up. "But you are right about one thing, I should seize the day, or 'the night' as the case may be, and have a little fun."
Kasumi grinned as she poured more shots for herself, Tali and Jack. "That's the spirit! Godspeed, Commander"
The women's amused cackling seemed to follow her as she turned her back and crossed the room to where Joker was sitting with the boys, their laid back conversation completely at odds with the screeching coming from the girls. Though the men sat up straighter as she approached, and a round of whispers and subtle veiled looks were exchanged.
What was going on?
Boy talk?
Did men gossip?
"Hey Lola, looking good." James gave her an over-exaggerated leery once over. "You should wear that dress out on missions."
"What? And distract you, Vega?" Cassie dropped into a seat beside Joker and crossed her legs. "I couldn't take the risk; you're too heavy to drag back to the ship if your ass gets shot up."
The big marine rumbled with laughter. "Nice to know you care."
The conversation fell into light banter about the day's missions; about the clone trying to steal the Normandy and just how long they could have lasted in the vault they'd been locked in if Glyph hadn't been able to find them. Kaidan and James eventually moved off to get more drinks, and Cassie turned to find Joker studying her, more relaxed looking than she'd seen him in months.
"That was some fancy flying you did today," she said, reaching out to adjust his hat, and then snagging it off his head and placing it on her own. "Not bad for a man who is used to flying several hundred tons of starship."
"Hey!" He leaned forward and tried to snatch his hat back, and Cassie laughingly pulled back out of reach. "I'm good at everything I fly, I'll have you know," Joker told her indignantly, crossing his arms over his chest and, she thought, acting far more annoyed at her stealing his hat than he really was. "I'm good with my hands."
"Are you just?" Cassie loaded the words with far more innuendo than she intended, and her cheeks flushed pink as Joker raised an eyebrow and glanced at her. "I mean, of course you are."
She glanced down at his long fingered hands, elegant and neat, and bit her lip as she remembered the way they'd held her to him the single time they'd kissed. She could still remember the gentle but firm way they'd moved over her body, sliding around her waist and pulling her close. They were beautiful hands, the hands of a musician, and she pulled her eyes away before she could embarrass herself further.
C'mon, Cassie! Get a grip!
But the alcohol churning in her system had other ideas.
Joker chuckled. "You know, for a moment there I thought you were flirting with me, Cass."
"And what if I was?" She leaned forward and tipped Joker's hat so it sat jauntily askew.
For a second he hesitated, and his eyes slid from her eyes to her lips, then he laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. "You and me, Commander? I'd think I was in Bizzaro World."
"Bizzaro World, huh?" Cassie almost smiled as his eyes dropped to her lips again and a blush coloured his cheeks. "That's not very nice coming from the man who kissed me before Ilos and then conveniently decided to pretend it never happened."
"You remember that?" Joker spluttered, then took a nervous pull of his beer. "I thought you'd forgotten!"
"Forgotten that kiss? Not likely." She grinned and shrugged. "It was a long time ago, but it left quite an impression."
A smile tugged at the corners of his lips and he raised an eyebrow. "It did, huh? So how come you never mentioned it either?" His gaze moved up to his hat and Cassie dodged out of the way as Joker made another swipe for it. "Damn, I almost had it!"
She got to her feet and took the hat off her head, holding it behind her back. "Whoa, not so fast there, Lieutenant Moreau. If you want your hat back, you're going to have to trade for it." Cassie smiled sweetly as Joker got to his feet and she danced out of reach, keeping the prized hat behind her back. "I kind of like it, you know. Maybe I'll even keep it."
He laughed. "Oh, now you're asking for trouble! No one ransoms my own hat back to me!"
Joker followed her as she led him on a merry chase across the apartment, the other crew members too involved in their own discussions or drinking games to pay them much attention as they giggled and dashed from one side of the room to the other. And when Joker cornered her near the front door and held out his hand, silently demanding his hat, she simply shook her head and vanished into the spare bedroom, refusing to give up. Joker followed her in, and, trapped, Cassie stood her ground.
"Okay, that's it," Joker crowed as he corned her. "Hand over the hat and no one gets hurt."
"I already told you; I'll give it back to you if you trade me something for it," she told him, holding the hat as far behind her back as she could. "I just want one little thing."
"Oh yeah?" He moved closer, until their bodies were inches apart. "And what's that?"
Without allowing herself to think twice, Cassie reached up and cupped Joker's cheek, her fingers gently stroking his stubble. He froze under her hand as though unaccustomed to the touch of another person, and finally focused on at her, really focused on her, some of the humour melting out of his eyes.
"Cass?"
"A kiss," she said quietly. "I want another kiss."
Joker blinked and shook his head. "You're drunk."
"A little," Cassie agreed and shrugged. "But I still want my kiss."
He sucked in a breath and swallowed hard, both of his hands coming to rest on her waist. "I've thought about kissing you again more times that I can count over the last few years, but-"
"Then kiss me." She moved closer, her breasts brushing against his chest as she gently wound her arms around his neck. His hat, unseen, fell to the floor. "I've thought about it too. A lot. And I want you-"
"Oh God, Cassie." He whispered her name like a prayer and a curse as his hands tightened on her waist and he brought his mouth crashing down on hers.
Cassie melted against Joker, folding her body against his and enjoying the groan of hunger he let out as he kissed her. His lips were soft as they teased hers apart, his tongue sweeping across her lower lip and swirling around her tongue with a slide of velvet heat. His hands slid from her waist to her backside, his hands kneading and massaging her flesh through her dress.
The kiss was all tongue, teeth and lips; fierce and hot and hungry. But it was gentle too, and Cassie let Joker set the pace as his hands moved over her body as she'd always dreamed they would. It was as though the kiss had opened the floodgates between them, and now everything they'd left unspoken for so long was pouring out.
Unexpectedly, he tore his mouth from hers and took a step back, his chest heaving as his eyes raked over her flushed features.
"God, what am I doing? You've been drinking! I can't-"
"I'm not drunk, Jeff. Tipsy, maybe, but not drunk." Cass closed the space between them again and caught one on of his hands. Her body tingled and pulsed with desire, and she felt as though she'd just run a marathon. "Please don't stop. I don't want you to stop. I want you."
He resisted for a second longer, his eyes torn, and then with a muffled groan his mouth claimed hers once more. Cassie revelled in the kiss; drowned in it. She sighed happily as his lips moved along her jaw and his teeth found her earlobe, nibbling lightly.
"Is this even real?" He asked quietly, his voice furred with passion in her ear. "I feel like I'm going to blink and wake up to find it's all a dream."
"Oh, it's real." Cassie grabbed hold of his belt and tugged him with her as she walked backwards towards the bed. "It's very, very real."
Joker grinned, playful despite his earlier reservations, and he held up a finger to stop her. "Not that I'm complaining about this particular dose of reality, but uh, you seem to have forgotten about the door." He indicated the open doorway he'd chased her through earlier.
She cursed. "Shit. Gimme a sec."
Cassie ducked away and closed the offending door that connected the spare bedroom to the lounge room. Her head was spinning from the drinks she'd had earlier and she fumbled with the lock for a moment before she managed to flip it on, then she kicked off her high heels and turned back to Joker. He was still standing where she'd left him by the edge of the bed, and he watched in bemusement as she dug her bare feet into the carpet and wiggled her toes.
"So," she tried for casual as she moved back to his side and slid her hands up and over his shoulders, "I don't suppose you want to show me how good with your hands you really are?"
His eyebrows twitched and he flashed a slow, simmering smile. "Well, since you asked so nicely … ."
He kissed her, his hands tracing gentle patterns down her arms, across her stomach, and then tickling across her lower back. Cassie drew in a shaky breath and let her eyes drift shut as Joker moved to stand behind her, his body heat warm as his hands found the zipper on her dress. He tugged it down slowly, inch by inch, his breath hot against her skin as he placed feathery light kisses down her spine.
"Holy shit," Cassie whispered, wracked with delicious shivery sensations as he finished unzipping her dress and peeled it wider, gently biting the nape of her neck and kissing her shoulders.
"Feel good?" Joker asked as he let her dress slide from her shoulders. It pooled around her feet on the ground and she stepped free of it clad only in her underwear.
She nodded. "Yeah, you're pretty good with your mouth too."
He laughed. "I'm not just good at mouthing off, huh?"
Cassie turned around with a smile and his laugh cut short as his gaze swept her body. He caught her waist and sucked in a breath as though he couldn't believe what he was seeing, and then slowly, carefully, he raised a hand and cupped her face. His eyes searched hers, the laughter in them dimming as something vulnerable shone through.
"Cass, you're so beautiful." He stroked a thumb across her lower lip.
She shivered and leaned into his touch, her eyes drifting closed as warmth flooded her body. With the alcohol in her system and Joker's hands stoking and touching her, she felt as though she were on fire. A pleasant ache started between her thighs, a delicious need to have Joker inside of her; to feel him as she never had before.
"Jeff," she whispered his name and reached for him, her fingers fumbling at his belt. "You're wearing too many clothes."
"I think we can do something about that," Joker murmured.
They shed his clothes together, giggling as Cassie got in his way time and again; their hands tangling together in her eagerness to help. Finally, Joker was naked and it was Cassie's turn to have her mouth run dry as she looked over his naked form. He was magnificent; lithely muscled with a body that was beautiful despite its fragility.
It seemed natural to wriggle out of her remaining scraps of clothing so she was just as naked as he, and even more natural to go to him; to touch him and explore his body as they lay together on the bed.
Cassie kissed him as she took him in her hand, nimble fingers stroking him gently; exploring his length and shape. Joker groaned, his body moving against hers as he responded to her touch. He pulled his mouth from hers and whispered her name, then nipped and kissed a trail along her jaw and down her neck. She whimpered, desire beating through her veins, hot and heavy, and she stroked her hand up and down his erection, enjoying the hard silken feel of him.
She giggled as he turned his attention to her breasts, kissing one rosy tip and then the other. It felt amazing, better than she'd imagined on those lonely nights as she'd fantasized about having Joker in her bed, and she gripped the sheets tightly to keep herself still as he licked and sucked her sensitive skin.
"Is that good?" he asked as he lifted his head, his stubble tickling her.
Cassie nodded. "God, yes!"
"Good. I want to you to feel good." He leaned forward and kissed her. "I want this to be special."
"It is special," she said, her hips lifting to grind against his. "But I want you now, Jeff. No more teasing."
Joker chuckled. "You're always so impatient."
"I know what I want."
"Do you, now?" He slipped a hand between their bodies, sliding it between her legs and gently stroking small circles around the nub at the apex of her thighs. "Mmm," Joker grinned as he slipped two fingers inside of her and Cassie whimpered and writhed in pleasure. "It seems you do know what you want."
Joker arranged her on the pillows, his hands never leaving her body as he kissed, stroked and massaged her; the two of them laughingly trying several positions before they settled on something like missionary position. Cassie bit her lower lip as Joker spread her legs wide and settled between them. She should have felt exposed as his gaze raked over her body and then returned to meet her eyes, but instead she felt incredibly beautiful.
His eyes burned with passion, and each gentle brush of his skin against hers inflamed her passion further as he took himself in his hand and leaned into her, positioning himself at her entrance and catching her mouth in another kiss. Cassie whimpered and gasped as he slipped inside of her, gently pushing forward until he was buried inside of her to the hilt. She arched towards him, unsure of how careful she had to be, but Joker only groaned with pleasure, and she began to move with him, arching her back and meeting his thrusts with her hips.
Each stroke of his body in hers sent a cascade of sensation through her, a shimmering wave of pleasure that had Cassie moaning Joker's name and twisting her fists in the sheets. Heat flooded her body; a delicious languid warmth that seeped into her limbs and pooled into her belly. A feeling of fullness and tightness that grew and grew with each slick thrust, with each touch of his hands, and with each kiss of his lips.
"Jeff, I can't hold out anymore," Cassie groaned as her orgasm built, the pleasure rising around her like a wave. "It feels so good."
Joker quickened his strokes and kissed her neck, his breathing harsh as he chuckled. "Good. I want you to come for me, Cass." He rubbed his cheek against hers. "I want to feel you around me as you're writhing and crying out in pleasure-"
She closed her eyes as the rest of Joker's words were muffled as he buried his mouth against her neck, biting down gently as he increased his pace. The rhythmic slide of his body into hers and the delicious friction of their love making was too much, and the pleasure that had been building crashed over her in a wave of glorious sensation. Her biotics exploded in a brilliant flare of blue light, and she moaned Jeff's name over and over as she clung to him, fighting to be gentle as her body was wracked with tremors.
His own release wasn't far behind and he sobbed her name as he spilled himself inside of her. Afterwards, they lay together in a sweaty heap, their hearts pounding and chests heaving. Cassie grinned stupidly as she clasped Joker to her chest and wrapped her arms around him. Maybe her head was fuzzy with alcohol and endorphins, but she couldn't remember ever feeling so in tune with anyone before, or feeling so completely fulfilled or happy.
She snuggled up to him sleepily and closed her eyes.
"Cassie?" Joker stroked a hand down her arm.
"Mmm?" She cracked an eyelid and glanced at him.
He smirked, his eyes sparkling. "You never gave my hat back."
"Well," Cassie grinned impishly and let her hands wander down his toned back. "I guess I'll have to find some way to make it up to you."
"Well about that," Joker murmured huskily, "I might have one or two ideas … ."