Mary-Lynnette woke up with a start and the dream faded immediately. Sighing, she opened her eyes slowly. She glanced at her clock which told her that it was 10am. The darkness in her room made it feel like midnight. Her old starcharts were still plastered on the walls, and she had recently had heavy lining put on her curtains, blocking out the unwanted light. Her room would always be her refuge. Letting her thoughts wander, she reached for the CD remote and pressed play. She didn't want to get out of bed. In fact, she didn't need to get out of bed. Today was the first day in her life that she had absolutely nothing to do.
As music filled the room, she glanced at her desk and at the framed certificate propped up against some of her books. "High School graduate," she whispered to herself. How strange it seemed. She let her eyes drift shut again and let the music take over her thoughts.
In my place, in my place,
were lines that I couldn't trace.
I was lost, oh yeah.
I was lost, I was lost.
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed.
I was lost, oh yeah.
Was she lost? Mary-Lynnette hoped not. She had plans and goals. But sometimes, everything seemed so hopelessly confused. Maybe she had crossed a line she should have stayed well behind. Maybe she had done the wrong thing.
How long must you wait for it?
How long must you pay for it?
How long must you wait for it?
What if she had? It was too late to change it now. She just felt so empty sometimes. She had needed the past year, she knew. If she hadn't spent time by herself, adjusting, growing up, finishing school, she would have gone mad. She hadn't been ready and she was still paying for that, wasn't she?
I was scared, I was scared.
Tired and under-prepapred
But I wait for it.
If you go, if you go,
and leave me down here on my own
then I'll wait for you, yeah.
He hadn't understood. He had tried, but he just couldn't see things from her point of view. Did he think that he had had to give up more? Did he think that she was being selfish? Did his sisters think she was being selfish? Sometimes, Mary-Lynnette caught a certain look in Kestrel's eyes and her resolve faltered. Sometimes, Rowan looked at her with unmistakable pity, though she didn't mean to. They didn't understand.
How long must you wait for it?
How long must you pay for it?
How long must you wait for it?
She was still paying for that too. Not even Mark had understood. Mark who was so caught up in Jade. Mark who was happy. He wanted her to be happy too and didn't understand why she had wanted things the way they had been. He had given her a year and for that she would be eternally greatful. So much had changed. He had turned her world upside down and it had taken her time to right it again. She was different now. She understood.
Singing please, please, please
, Come back and sing to me, to me, me
Come on and sing it out, now, now
Come on and sing it out to me, to me
Come back and sing.
Silently she reached out and felt for the connection. She could almost see it - a thin silver cord, faintly shimmering in the air. It had always been there, she just hadn't always looked for it. Now, she felt comforted. It was time. "Come back, Ash," she whispered. "Come back."
Thousands of miles away, Ash sat up in bed, his sleep shattered. He saw the cord, stronger than he had seen it in a year and he felt her presence. "Come back," she whispered. Eyes widening, Ash smiled.
In my place, in my place
were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah, oh yeah.
* * * * * * * * * *
All lyrics are taken from "In My Place" by Coldplay.