Hiccup is plain. Astrid is italicized.
(12:10) the next time i see you i am going to KICK the SHIT out of you i swear
(12:12) ouch. harsh. but i'm assuming it was for someone else.
(12:13) oh
(12:13) fuck
(12:13) yeah
(12:14) sorry, that was meant for my friend
(12:14) she changed her number recently and i havent deleted this one yet
(12:15) what did she do to deserve you kicking "the SHIT" out of her?
(12:15) (mildly concerning, by the way)
(12:17) she borrowed my homework to copy
(12:17) said she would give it back before my class started
(12:18) guess who DIDNT have their homework when it was being collected
(12:21) yikes.
(12:21) yeah, i'd be mad too.
(12:22) (its not concerning if shes my friend)
(12:22) depends. WILL you kick the shit out of her?
(12:23) no, ill probably just
(12:23) i dont know
(12:23) punch her arm
(12:30) see, that's much better.
(12:32) your welcome, stranger
(12:32) i'm happy my friend-punishing isnt interfering with your morals
...
(12:55) hello?
(12:55) was it because i called you stranger?
(12:55) because like
(12:56) no offense
(12:56) you are literally just someone i accidentally texted
...
(2:18) oh, sorry.
(2:18) i had lunch and then class started and the teacher is really strict so
(2:18) you know.
(2:20) (why would I take offense to you calling me a stranger?)
(2:23) i dont know, maybe you wanted nudes
(2:23) girls dont send strangers nudes
(2:24) are you saying that once you get to know me you're going to send me nudes?
(2:24) are you asking for them?
(2:25) gods, no.
(2:26) good, that response was cock-or-block for you
(2:26) HA
(2:27) I refuse to believe you were gonna pass up the opportunity to mess with me if I wanted nudes
(2:28) okay, fine, pop quiz
(2:28) an old dude asks you for nudes
(2:29) how do you most effectively mess with him?
(2:30) hmmmm.
(2:30) what website is this on?
(2:31) omegle
(2:31) WHY WAS I ON OMEGLE
(2:30) you wanted to make friends
(2:30) considering my life so far
(2:31) that's not far off for me, I'll take it.
(2:31) you can't send pictures on omegle, though.
(2:31) i feel like youve had some extensive experience with omegle
(2:32) I may or may not have used it a little during...ninth grade?
(2:32) oh god you poor thing
(2:32) anyway
(2:32) he asks for your kik
(2:35) oh shit uh
(2:35) lovergirl420
(2:37) THATS the best you can come up with?
(2:37) the sex bot gods have deemed you unworthy
(2:38) guess I'll be able to go on tumblr then.
(2:39) omg
(2:39) youre pretty funny, you know
(2:39) thank you, I aim to please.
(2:41) if you had stuck around for the end, "lovergirl420' would only send pictures of shaggy.
(2:43) nude shaggy?
(2:47) why would you think I have nude shaggy on my phone?
(2:48) fair question, however
(2:48) why would you have regular shaggy on your phone?
(2:49) i expected better
(2:50) bold of you to assume shaggy didn't just appear on my phone himself.
(2:51) that's how powerful he is.
(2:53) i give that meme TWO more days
(2:54) then you're being merciful
(2:54) i give it...a few more hours?
(2:56) youre underestimating the shaggy meme fandom
[Image: "Thanos: With all six infinity stones, I will be the most powerful being in the universe." A picture is shown of Shaggy smirking after this quote.]
(3:00) that is horrifying, holy crap.
(3:00) 1. did you have that on your phone (in which case, you have no right to judge me) or did you search it up?
(3:01) 2. thor threw his axe at purple mcwarlord when he had all the infinity stones and hurt him, HE is the strongest.
(3:06) youre telling me, i love him
(3:07) also "purple mcwarlord" lmao
(3:09) so, a list of things I know about you so far:
(3:09) you like thor
(3:10) you're definitely on tumblr
(3:10) a number of dudes have been hurt because you messed with them on omegle
(3:10) you have no qualms about hurting your friends
(3:11) you hate apostrophes?
(3:14) ugh, im not gonna switch to the other keyboard just to put a little line between my letters
(3:14) don't you switch for the comma?
(3:15) commas are worth it
(3:15) nice logic.
(3:16) i gotta go, my cousin is goading me into playing chess.
(3:18) cant say no to that
(3:18) but while youre gone
(3:18) heres what i know about YOU
(3:19) you suck at making fake kik names
(3:19) pacifist? maybe?
(3:20) punctuation freak if i ever saw one
(3:20) more funny than the average person, honestly
(3:21) i'd like to keep talking to you if we're not like, too far apart in age
(3:21) see, that was two apostrophes, just for you
...
(5:34) I'm honored.
(5:40) did you win the chess game?
(5:42) I always do.
(5:43) oho, someones a bit of a braggart
(5:44) if you met my cousin, you'd understand.
...
(11:03) I'm a 17 year old guy, by the way.
(11:04) and I'd like to keep talking too.
(11:20) huh
(11:20) im a 17 year old girl
(11:20) weird
(11:30) it'd be weirder if you were, like, 40
(11:32) i could be
(11:33) i could be a viking for all you know
(11:36) aaaand "viking" is your contact name now. thanks.
(11:39) so i guess were gonna keep talking?
(11:41) I guess we are.
(11:41) so, you know.
(11:42) call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me.
(11:43) did you really just send me off with the kim possible theme song
(11:43) if you just call my name!
(11:45) wow, you're a bit of a dork, aren't you?
(11:45) just a little bit.
(11:47) great. so youre "dork" in my phone now
(11:47) excellent.
(11:47) i'll talk to you soon, viking.
(11:48) count on it, dork