Rating: M

Characters: Sebastian Smythe, OCs

Summary: Sebastian Smythe once said that he had lived in Paris. But what had driven him halfway around the world? Why did he have terrible knotted scars on the inside of his arms? Who had beaten and bruised and broken him so much that the only way to survive was to leave? Sebastian had a secret and a boy had his heart in their pocket.

Warnings: (PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THESE)

For whole fic: Swearing, physical/emotional/mental abuse, graphic descriptions/depictions of self-harm and suicide, homophobia, frequent discussion of depression, self-harm & suicide, sexual references, reference to almost non-con, character death

For this chapter: Swearing, mention of depression & self-harm, discussion of homophobia

Disclaimer: I do not own Sebastian Smythe but pretty much everything else is mine.

.

CHAPTER 1:

Sebastian Smythe's head felt like it weighed a tonne. He didn't know what he was doing as he aimlessly flicked through the CDs. He hadn't slept last night and the other kids at school had been relentless in their teasing that day, some of the guys on the lacrosse team going so far as to light his English notes on fire. He sighed softly as he thought about it but turned away from the shelves and buried his hands in his pockets as he headed for the door.

"Excuse me, are you alright?"

Sebastian turned back to find a boy with wide blue eyes and windswept blonde hair watching him with something akin to concern. The boy moved forward and extended his hand.

"I'm Jesse, Jesse Connors," he introduced himself.

"Sebastian Smythe," Sebastian replied as he shook his hand. "What uh, what did you ask me?"

"I asked if you were alright," Jesse stuffed his hands back into his jacket pockets. "Are you?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine… Why do you ask?"

"You look sad," Jesse admitted with a shrug of one shoulder. "And someone as handsome as you shouldn't have to look sad."

Sebastian blushed furiously, looking away and laughing nervously. "I guess not," he murmured as he ran a hand through his hair. "I uh, I should be going though, don't want my parents to worry too much…"

"Oh, I was kind of hoping we could go get coffee, but if you really need to go…"

Sebastian bit his lip as he checked his watch. "Well, I guess I've got time enough for one coffee."

A grin split across Jesse's features before he grabbed Sebastian's hand. "Come on, I know this great little place."

Sebastian couldn't help but laugh giddily as Jesse pulled him outside and down the bustling street. His heart was racing in his chest and he couldn't wipe the smile off of his face. He had never done something so spontaneous in his life.

Jesse finally stopped outside a small coffee shop, shooting a grin to Sebastian before they headed inside. They approached the register and Sebastian moved to pull out his wallet.

"Don't worry, I've got it," Jesse said with a smile. "What do you want?"

"Uh, caramel latté please," Sebastian said to the cashier before watching as Jesse ordered his own black, sugarless coffee before they went to sit in the back corner of the shop.

Jesse sat down across from Sebastian who felt awkward as the older boy watched him.

"So… Are you in school?" Sebastian asked tentatively.

"Yeah, senior year. You?"

"Sophomore," Sebastian shrugged. "It sucks."

"It'll get better," Jesse said with a soft smile. "Do you play any sports?"

"Yeah, I'm on the lacrosse team. Defender."

"You look more like a centre to me."

Sebastian blushed again though he wasn't sure why. "I used to play centre but they knocked me back this year."

"Why would they do that?" Jesse asked with a frown. There was a hint of anger in his voice and Sebastian felt wary about the sudden change in emotion.

Sebastian shrugged it off. "I guess they didn't want to accept that the most important player on their team was gay."

Jesse didn't immediately respond to that but when Sebastian went to ask why, the waitress appeared with their coffees.

"There you go boys, enjoy," she said with a smile. Sebastian watched her walk away, trying to gather his thoughts as Jesse remained silent.

"They can't do that to you."

"That's what my parents said but the school wouldn't budge. It doesn't really matter – I went home and cut myself and all was fine the next day," Sebastian froze, his cup held mid-air as he realised what he'd said. "I don't know why I just told you that…"

Jesse smiled sadly. "It's okay. Everyone struggles with something."

"No one's ever said it like that before," Sebastian murmured. "Most people's jaws drop and they ask me if I'm insane. Then they try to make me promise to stop and talk to some idiot therapist."

Jesse nodded understandingly. "I know. It sucks. People just don't understand other people sometimes…"

"Most of the time," Sebastian corrected as he sipped at his latté.

"Do you do anything else? Like, school-wise?" Jesse asked as turned his cup around on the spot.

"Not really. I can't ever really focus much because people are either throwing things at me or snickering or talking over me. I just sit at the back and try not to get noticed. Which is apparently a lot harder than the movies make it seem."

"Have you ever fought back?"

"The last time I did that was the first time and it ended with me in detention for two weeks and an adjustment to my medication."

Sebastian sat with Jesse and talked about school for what felt like hours. He had never felt so at ease talking to someone and part of him wished that Jesse was a psychologist rather than some random stranger he had met in a record store. Jesse just sat and listened, didn't interrupt, just watched as Sebastian sifted through his fears and worries.

When Sebastian felt his phone vibrating, he finally stopped talking as he checked it to find a text message from his mother.

From: Mom

Sebastian, where are you? You were meant to be home an hour ago. Is everything ok?

"Shit, I've gotta go, I didn't realise how late it was," Sebastian said quickly before downing the rest of his coffee.

"I can drive you if you want," Jesse offered as he got to his feet.

"No, no, can't let them get too suspicious," Sebastian murmured. "Thank you though."

"Well if I can't drive you home can I at least see you tomorrow?" Jesse asked with a soft laugh.

Sebastian looked to him, happiness drifting around his blue eyes. "S-Sure… Where?"

"The park? At noon?"

Sebastian smiled and blushed as he nodded. "Sure, I'll see you there."

"Great," Jesse said as Sebastian began walking away. "It was really nice to meet you, Sebastian."

Sebastian turned and walked backwards towards the door. "It was nice to meet you too."

As he stepped out into the cold, Sebastian felt the joy bubble inside of him. He hadn't felt like this in a long time but he knew what it meant. It meant something wonderful was about to happen.

.

.

A/N: And there we have the first chapter… I'm really excited to write this though I am building myself a little barricade to hide behind once we get further into it because you are going to hate me so much for what's coming. But thank you for reading and I hope you've enjoyed it thus far :) Have a wonderful day –Frankie xoxo