So I've been playing Saints Row 3 a whole fucking lot, so here this is
"Who the fuck are we robbing?" I hear Shaundi ask from behind me. We're making our way upstairs as another round of guards show up. A new bank called Stilwater's 1st National Bank just had its's grand opening this week, and I decided it would either belong to the Saints or have its grand closing.
"I don't know, and really, I don't care. Where here to get the money, not to figure out who we're robbing," I reply as we continue to make our way through the bank. Finally, we made it. Johnny takes off his suit head and steps to the vault. Shaundi does the same and help the entertainer remove his.
"So why did we rob a bank looking like Gat," Josh starts to question.
"There's no way we're cracking this. Josh come here. It's time for plan B."
"Got the tools right here homes. What's plan 'B'? We drill it?"
"Fuck no, we blow it."
"What?" the actor yells out already lagging behind. Before setting the charges I sign a picture for a fan. Just as I hit the button I hear Josh yell something and Shaundi telling him to stop. Then the not-so-silent alarm went off. I internally groan. I kinda wanted to just walk through this heist, but I guess that's too much to ask for today.
"Are you trying to get us jail time?" Jonny and Shaundi hissed towards Berk.
"What? I don't wanna become some dude's bitch!" he screamed, then runs away.
"Do you want me to after him?"
I shake my head, and turn to start shoot up the swat teams arriving. When our chopper arrives, everything goes downhill. I managed to shoot down an attack chopper, but it crashed into us. Eventually, a team were able to surround us. Now we're sitting in a cell.
"What happened to us," Jonny starts. He gets up and walks around the cell.
"We got arrested," I say, sarcasm lacing my voice. He gives me the 'Ha-Ha very funny' look.
"No I mean to us, the Saints. Josh is right we switched our dicks out for pussies. For what? A movie and some shit-tasting energy drinks?"
"Hey, it's worth a lot of money."
"So it's just about the money," he states not, really questioning. The cell door opens and all three of us look to the newcomers. A pair of twins with a group of armed men file in blocking the door. I payed more attention to the twins than anything else. They had pretty decent sized chests and curves that were shown with the same dress that made them stand out. The only difference between them were their voices and the glasses on their heads. Both of their long ebony hair were pulled up.
"It's always about the money Mr. Gat. That's exactly why our employer would like to speak with you," the twin with white glasses begins.
"If you will indulge us," the second one finished. I'm already thinking of ways to get the two into my bed when this whole deal is done with. Upon getting outside Jonny and Shaundi and I are separated and put into different cars. I just so happen to be lucky enough to have the twins ride with me. I thought they were both sit up front, but once again today, I'm wrong.
"To bad you're not a Syndicate. You seem like pretty your good in bed," the twin to my left says her hand running up and down my leg. Her sister joins in before continuing the other's thought.
"But then again, owning Stilwater's prostitution ring has its perks. I'm sure customers with pay quite a lot for you." A laugh leaves my mouth involuntarily and the twins move their hands. After a while of my unnecessary laughing I reply to the twins.
"You guys are entirely correct. And too bad you guys work for someone else. Johnny had a point, and you guys would've been useful for more than money." The rest of the ride was silent till we were put on a plane. I had a smile on my face despite our current situation. Who wouldn't be happy if you found a new potential income?
When we reached what looked like an office, we were tied to chairs that were bolted to the floor. The twin made it their mission to have some form of contact with me before leaving us for the moment. Following the movement of the duo, I see in front of us was a man with gray hair and a very expensive suit finished with a red scarf. Taking in the rest of the room, the main color was red. In my opinion, purple looks better.
"Ah, greetings. I am Phillipe Loren, chairman of a multi-national organization called the Syndicate. These protégées are Kiki and Viola DeWynter. I am offering you the chance to leverage your assets against your lives. Ladies."
I was sorta kinda blocking out most of the money talk until they said '66%'. I don't know about the frenchy dude, but if I'm doing my math right, that is more than half of our money.
I quickly address the man before they can find a way to steal more of my money. "Now, hold on, you French fuck…"
"Please, I am Belgium," he cuts my rant start off, correcting me and not caring that I don't give two fucks.
"Then go make yourself a fucking waffle," Johnny blurts out. Shaundi lets out a giggle as Loren lets out a deep sigh. For all the years I've known him, he still hasn't learned to filter his thoughts.
"And I was hoping we can come to an agreement," he says, motioning one of the men in the corner. When he's in front of him, Johnny managed to pull the chair up and tackle the Syndicate worker and free himself. Grabbing the gun, he shot down some of the people in the room before releasing Shaundi and me to the chaos that broke out. I spotted Phillipe trying to get away and quickly grab hold of him. Off of instinct, I smash his face into the window beside me.
I felt some satisfaction when I hear the glass break and Loren cry out in pain. Suddenly I feel someone tug me off the Syndicate leader and behind cover. I peek over just in time to see the girls lead their boss to safety. More Syndicate members file into the room and continue the assault.
"Boss, you need to go on ahead," Johnny says.
"What? No!"
"It's alright. There's what," he breaks off glancing over the couch, "half a dozen men. I got this. Easy." He flashes us his signature smile and Shaundi hops in on the argument.
"Then what are you going to do?"
"Take over the plane and fly us back to Stilwater," he replies. Apparently he's as confident of this plan as he is in any of his others. I shake my head as Shaundi continues her argument.
"Johnny, you can't even drive stick. How are you going to fly a plane?" He once again flashes his smile and gets up and starts killing enemies and forcing his way to the cockpit. I had to drag Shaundi with me so she wouldn't go after him. It didn't take long for us to get to the back of the plane, even with the unsteady flying Johnny was causing.
"Johnny we're about to jump," Shaundi yells through the intercom.
"Alright, I'll see you-" The connection was cut off and the turbulence caused us to fall out the plane. I was able to grab the hatch and Shaundi. While trying to pull her up, things started falling and I was forced to let go of the plane and Shaundi. I flipped over to dive to where she was at but was held on by a Syndicate.
"The fuck… Now you guys jump out of planes?" I punched the guy in his face, jacked his gun and ammo and started killing off diving Syndicates. Finally, I was able to catch Shaundi. From the corner of my eye I saw the plane heading towards us. Well, this should be fun… "Uh, Shaundi, they're gonna ram us with the plane."
She turns and stares wide-eyed at the flying object. "Well, do you have a plan?"
"Yeah. I crash in through the window, kill Loren, get another parachute, and come back out."
"You mean 'we'." I shake my head and drop her, then carry out my plan. Only I didn't kill Loren, just one of his Lieutenants. Once again I went through diving and killing Syndicates just to get to my fellow Saint. When I caught her, she was pretty shaken up.
"You're a fucking asshole!"
"Yes, but I'm your asshole," I respond cheekily as we continue our descend to Steelport.
Loren POV
"Gentlemen, negotiations were... less than successful. Viola and Kiki will spread the word: Steelport belongs to the Syndicate, and the Saints are not welcome. Mr. Killbane, gather your Luchadores and bring me their leader's head. Mr. Miller, hack into the Saints' accounts, and leave them nothing."
The Saints will not get away with this. They are nothing more than an obstacle.