Disclaimer: PoT is Konomi's. Not mine.
Story: Multi Fic - "Trickster No More"
Chapter 1: "My Silent Farewells" – Niou's PoV
Author: xfgksx – with unintentional and unwanted help from authors whose usernames will remain anonymous.
Rating: PG-13 (subtle boys love and death)
Summary: Just because Niou is the trickster doesn't mean he is always toying with people; playing with their mind. When the time comes where everyone comes to this false conclusion is the time the trickster is no more.
FYI: Eh…I'll probably get yelled at for writing this. Even so, control yourselves to save it for somewhere outside of my reviews. I don't mind criticism, of course, but if you're going to attack me as a person, take it elsewhere. (i.e. email, LJ, myspace, message). Enjoy "NIOU'S" side of the story.
Pairing(s): none really.
Mind games? That's really what people think I'm all about? I mean, sure I like to tease people here and there, but I don't screw with other's minds or tear them down or whatever the hell everyone else is calling it. Maybe being announced as the trickster led me to this outcome.
Each person here lost any ounce of respect that they might have held for me all because of a small "issue" – if it could have even been called that – with Yagyuu. It wasn't even a fight! Or it wasn't until Yagyuu supposedly whispered around his side of the story. Although using 'supposedly' wouldn't be the best choice in words, since a few select people made it quite obvious.
Honestly if it was that big of a deal, I figured Yagyuu would merely come straight out and tell me what was bothering him. I even tell him all the time that if I'm doing something agitating, then he should let me know. Instead he opts to talk about it with anyone BUT me, which is indeed offending. It feels as though the person that I cared most about doesn't trust me enough to confide with me. Even if we have a disagreement, he goes to someone else, rather than telling me that I upset him. Perhaps I am just being overly sensitive.
I don't know when it all started or why, but at one point conversations between Yagyuu and myself was slim. Actually we weren't saying much of anything other than the obvious. The only way we would be able to hold up a conversation is if I started talking about meaningless, stupid stuff. As much as I wanted to know why there was this awkward tension, I still couldn't find an answer. Maybe Yagyuu was growing tired of me, but was just too nice to admit it.
The fact that we started fading away from each other put me in a bad mood. However that didn't help our lack of communication. I guess it only made things worse, but how does anyone expect me to be a little burst of sunshine, when I feel horrible. Why would I? Bottling up emotions only ends up hurting yourself in the long run; I should know.
Nowadays it seems that all I do is bottle up my emotions. In spite of this, I really do want someone I can talk to. Is it so bad that I want a friend to ask me 'what's wrong?' on days I'm clearly feeling like crap? Apparently I need to 'ask for an ear', but why would I go crying to someone that may not want to hear me complain in the first place? Why would I dump all my problems on them when they could just as well be having a bad day too? Really all I need to know is that I have someone to talk to on good and bad days.
Then again now it's probably a little late to be asking for such a thing. Everyone has already developed such a nasty opinion of me, so even a simple 'hello' is a lot to ask for. Now in all eyes, it's how wonderfully kind the gentleman is and how epically terrible the trickster is.
"Niou needs to grow up and learn to treat people right."
"There's probably nothing even wrong with Niou-senpai. He probably just likes making Yagyuu-senpai unhappy."
"Tch, yeah like Niou is a fucking angel."
All of it! It's all completely overwhelming! I know I'd prefer hearing the truth, but what is all of that? That's not me! What did Yagyuu tell them? Is that people truthful perspective of me? I can't even begin to put any pieces together of how anyone would have come up with this nonsense!
"Yagyuu should just stop talking to Niou altogether."
"I can't believe Yagyuu is even still friends with him."
It seems that I have been pushed aside, as though no one has any use of me anymore. But if that's how they want it then that how they are going to get it. If no one can stand this trickster then maybe I should just vanish from their sights.
After dressing back into my school uniform, on which would be my last and final day of tennis practice, I merely stopped to leave my uniform on the locker room bench. Lying on top of it was my resignation letter. I was leaving this so called team. I know when I'm not wanted and these people, the people that I once cared so deeply about, wouldn't see me on these courts again. Not now, not ever.
AN: Blah. :\
AN AGAIN: I subtly changed the last few sentences to make sense to continue it. The old one-shot lines were: I was leaving this so called team and this so called school. I know when I'm not wanted and these people, the people that I once cared so deeply about, wouldn't see me again. Not now, not ever.