Although I am still moving, still touching, I am expecting him to stop me at any moment. I expect him to say "Hey Kurt, do you mind taking your gay hands off my fit body?" But Dean is characteristically quiet and remains so.
I wonder what is going through his mind as mine chatters away inside my head. The skin blushes along his waistline as I run my finger across it. Does his face also blush? I don't dare look.
Slipping my hand around his back I lay siege to his neck, gently of course, exploring his collar bone with my mouth, tasting the sweat of him; tasting today's memories. There are fine hairs across the base of his spine; I tickle them with the tips of my fingers. He squirms and I freeze, petrified. I've gone too far. Oh Goddess save me – don't let me lose him now.
I am so busy panicking that I am startled when he sits up on his elbows and I slide down his chest. When I fall off the bed I try and look dignified. By the expression on his face I have failed.
He lies propped up on the bed, shirtless. The top button of his jeans has been undone, probably by me, and he looks tantalisingly inviting. It dawns on me I am still so fully dressed I even have my shoes on. I kick them off instantly, extremely unceremoniously, and he raises his eyebrows but knows better than to ask.
He starts to move forward, ignoring my disregarded footwear. "You were praying." He simply states.
"No, Well, yes okay – but only because I was panicking and I just reacted and-" At some point he has crawled off the bed, because now he silences my ramble with a kiss, and his lips are soft and his body is firm and I think I might just faint at the combination.
"Do you think we can leave Religion out of this?" He asks and I nod, only able to focus on his tongue at my neck, his hands gripping my hips. I would agree to anything right now.
His mouth has found my ears and his fingers are now under my shirt. "I just think that two of us is enough for this relationship." He says and my heart jumps at 'Relationship'.
And I know he is still touching me, but all I can focus on are words such as couple and together and love. I take a step forward in dizzy ecstasy and we fall over together on the bed.
I feel him laugh beneath me, a rare sound, and he finds my mouth with his fingers and I suck on them appreciatively, finally unwillingly letting them go when he has used his other hand to pull my shirt off and add it to the floor.
I lay the length of him, his head in my hands as I introduce my lips to his once again, running my tongue over where his are cracked in one corner at the bottom.
Then I push his hands from my body and lace my fingers through his, shoving them so far up above his head that his back arches off the bed and his chest moves towards me so I can press my mouth to his nipples, raised against my tongue; lapping and caressing. And I almost feel foolish, but I push the thought to the back of my head along with school boy crushes on my best friend.
And he gets the idea, because he leaves his hands there while I use mine to find his waist, to trickle down the line of his hips. And although he is dark blonde on top, he is darker down here and I lose my fingers in him, wanting, desperate to taste as well as touch.
And not quite as smoothly as I had planned, I find his zip and pull it down to set him free, not sure if I want to hold him in my hand or wrap him in my tongue first and it's driving me mad.
In the end I settle for a bit of both, enjoying both the touch and taste of him all at once. His hands find my hair and slide through my long blonde hair.
Just as I wonder if he is close, hell I know I am and he hasn't even touched me yet, he grips my shoulders and pushes me away. My eyes must betray the hurt I feel because his expression softens as he leans forward into the space between us and plants his soft lips on mine. And at the risk of sounding like a love-struck schoolgirl, my eyes flutter closed and I revel in the sensation; the warmth, the texture, the wetness of him.
And now he pushes me back down so I am the one trapped underneath, and without breaking our kiss he reaches down and expertly undoes the buckle on my belt and the button of my jeans, and my mind is lost somewhere between 'he's done this before' and 'fuck that's hot'.
I arch my ass up off the bed so he can undress me fully, then he lowers himself again to lie on top of me, between me, and I feel his hot cock pressing against my hips and my thigh and I'm worried I'll come as soon as he touches me.
He leaves my mouth to trail kisses down the nape of my neck, to run his rough tongue over my nipples which stand to attention willingly. I try to concentrate on my breathing oh God! His tongue has found me and I grip the bed covers to hold myself down; to hold myself in.
"Kurt, Kurt?" I snap my eyes open and he is looking up at me with eyes that plainly ask if I'm ok. Lips pursed to keep from yelling out I just nod. His hand slips into one of mine so that I have to let go and, guiding me, turns me over and it occurs to me I'm a bottom. Not only I gay, but I am a submissive bottom: how slutty is that? But then his hand wraps round the length of me and I hear him suck on his fingers behind me and I don't care. In fact, I will be the best bottom ever! But then he is inside of me, and all coherent thought is forgotten.
He was slow, making me taste every inch and beg for more
"Are you ok, Kurt?"
"Yeah, just, feels weird."
"Does it hurt? Want me to stop?"
"No, Dean, please don't stop"I moaned.
He gave me a moment to adjust to his size and when I gave him the nod , he started up the pace and fucked my ass. Hard and fast. He was rough with his thrusts and he was going deeper and deeper, hitting that magic button that sent me into a moaned blissfully as he kept fucking in and out of my ass, panting harshly as my walls clenched around him. And it wasn't long before he was spilling his seeds inside my ass.
Awhile later, I am fighting the urge to snuggle up into him. He has fallen asleep and the light from the setting sun is dancing across his face and limbs. Limbs that I have felt, explored; had wrapped around me.
Suddenly he opens one eye.
"Sorry-" I begin, but he cuts me off again with a soft kiss, obviously not in the mood for one of my rambles right now, and then pulls me towards him. I slide one leg up to rest between his and lie down on my elbow so I can watch him. He raises his eyebrows but says nothing, his hand finding my thigh beneath the cover and pulling me closer.
I drop my head to place a kiss on his jaw, his neck, and then settle my head there, I hope not just for tonight; but for always.